"Don't call him my boyfriend."
I warned my mother and sisters four days later when we were all sitting around a table in a restaurant, waiting for Taylor.
It was Friday, and I was meeting up with Taylor for lunch in Beverly Hills. He had flown home Wednesday evening, and we set up a time to see each other as quickly as we could both manage it.
My mom begged me to let her take us all to lunch. I ran the idea past Taylor, and he didn't mind at all, so I agreed. Mom and I took separate cars to L.A. since I would be hanging out with Taylor afterward.
"I thought he was your boyfriend." Mom said.
"Well, he is, Mom. But even if he is, or whatever, you don't need to say it. Don't say beau or boyfriend, or even talk about dating or seeing each other. You don't have to talk about it."
"Just be cool, mom," Vi said.
"Oh, my gosh, are you Vi Stone? Are you the Stone girls? Alec Stone's daughters?"
We got attention nearly every time we went out together. Separately, we could get by without being noticed—especially Indie and myself. Vi was a little different. She had just played a supporting role in an action movie that was a pretty big hit at the box office, so she got noticed even when she was alone. Maybe it was a result of Vi's success in acting, but people had been a little bit bolder about approaching us lately, especially when we were all together.
I went through the motions of smiling at the fan who had approached us, but I was completely preoccupied. I was so nervous about seeing Taylor that I could hardly concentrate on anything.
My thinking had changed somewhat since the last time I saw him, and I was nervous about coming across as too anxious. I had an epiphany of sorts when I was watching him on Good Morning USA. I had talked to him quite a bit since then, but my realization wasn't just something I could tell him without coming across as too eager.
I realized as I watched him on that show that I could find absolute purpose and pleasure in the role of the lady of Taylor's house. Maybe it sounds cheesy, but it was the truth. I knew I would be good at it. I could feel myself in that situation, living in a penthouse apartment in Beverly Hills. Welcoming people into our home, and standing by Taylor through thick and thin. I instinctually knew that it would be a lot of hard work, but I still imagined myself in the role of his wife and partner. I had already been thinking of ways I could help him and grow his business and make it better. I would be his helper—his partner. I couldn't think of anything I'd have more fun doing in life. Seriously. I felt like I was created for that role. I knew Taylor would benefit from my presence and support, and I knew we loved each other enough to end up in that situation one day, but I wasn't telling him I had any of these thoughts.
We had a lot of serious talks, but we weren't at the place in our relationship where I was bold enough to come out and say things that basically meant I was ready to get married and jump into life together. I knew we had love for each other, but we hadn't had any conversations that specifically defined our future. It just felt like too much to offer right now.
All this to say, I had a lot on my mind.
I was on auto-pilot as we greeted the fan who had approached us. We took a quick picture with her and then went back to having conversations amongst ourselves as soon as we could.
Mom and Indie started talking about a piece of art Kai got Indie for her birthday, and Vi chimed in on that, saying something about how much she liked the colors and the frame.
Leo was with Kai. I had already seen him twice since I had been back from my trip. Otherwise, I would have insisted that she brought him. It was easier this way, anyway, because we had to do a lot of driving. Plus, it usually took a while to eat at this restaurant. Leo would have grown restless.
We had left Ventura that morning and met Vi at her house before heading to the restaurant. The plan was to meet Taylor at 12:30, but traffic was light, and, even after a stop, we got there a half-hour early. We went into a nearby store, but we still made it to the restaurant early. We had been sitting there for five or ten minutes when Taylor arrived.
He took my breath away.
I watched as he walked in, taking his sunglasses off once he came inside. It was a gorgeous day, and he was dressed more casually than I'd ever seen him. (In person, at least. We had used FaceTime quite a bit, so I had seen him in his pajamas.) He had on a lightweight navy cotton blazer, but it was worn over a white t-shirt. He wore fitted grey pants and a leather belt and loafers. No tie. No button-down. It was as casual as you could get for a restaurant that encouraged gentlemen to wear jackets. He looked like a million bucks. I could not believe this person was headed to our table. I could see the front of the restaurant from where I was sitting, and I watched as the hostess began walking him over.
I was buzzing with anticipation.
Taylor smiled casually as he walked, looking around, looking for me. He was a sight for sore eyes. His hair was styled and his clothes were perfect—stylish and casual, and fitted to show the lines of his body. It was obvious that he knew what he was doing when he dressed himself every morning.
Indie had been pinching my leg, and I hadn't even noticed at first; that's how distracted I was. Once I felt her, I grabbed her hand to make her stop. I could hear Mom whispering something about Taylor being here, but I didn't look at her or respond. I was looking at Taylor when his eyes fell on me.
His face completely changed when his smile broadened. He was happy to see me, and I let out a tiny uncontrollable laugh. We had saved the seat next to me, and Taylor headed around the table toward it. I stood up, knowing I would want to hug him—I couldn't wait to hug him.
My mom was in the seat next to the empty spot, and she stood up to embrace him first. I watched as they hugged. She squeezed him and then she put him at arm's length so she could get a good look at his face. He smiled at her "I saw you on TV, and Blue let me see your picture," she said. "But you're even better looking in person. So handsome."
He smiled and gave her a thankful nod. "Likewise, Miss Kim. You and your girls are all really beautiful. What a lovely family you have." He glanced around the room. "I think I'm the envy of every man here, right about now."
He smiled and leaned across the table to shake my sisters' hands—first Violet and then Indie. He said each of their names as he shook their hands. I had sent him pictures and talked to him about each of them, so he knew exactly who he was meeting. Both of them said something to him, and he responded, but I could hardly understand or keep up with what they were saying.
I was so nervous and excited to see him that I could hear my heartbeat in my own ears. I had to remind myself to breathe.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
I stood there, waiting for Taylor to finish meeting my family. I was waiting for him to focus his attention on me, expecting it, and I still wasn't quite prepared for it when it happened. Taylor turned toward me, looking me over, his green gaze warm and mischievous. His eyes sparkled in the light as it came through the windows.
"I have missed you so much."
He spoke so low that I knew I had been the only one to hear him. In response, I reached out to hug him. I squeezed him tightly sighing in his arms as I drew close and causing him to do the same thing to me.
After a few seconds, he pulled back, looking at my face while wearing a smile that was embodiment of relief. He was happy to see me, and I smiled at him, letting him know I felt the same way. He squeezed my hand before pulling out his seat so that he could sit down. Mom had sat down in her seat, so Taylor and I did the same thing.
Our table had been meant for six people, so seeing as how we only had five, the chairs were a little too far apart. I should have thought to move my chair closer to his before he ever sat down, but now there was a gap between us. I could reach him if I stretched, but I wasn't trying to be obvious at a restaurant with my family. I would have to settle for going the whole lunch without touching him at all. How would I ever survive?
"We saw your interview," Mom said to Taylor right when we sat down. "You did a really good job."
Taylor gave her a nod. "Thank you. I had a lot of fun doing that. I don't travel much, so I'm still recovering from my trip."
"I travel a lot," Violet said. "And it still takes me a few days to recover every time—especially if I'm working."
"Definitely," Mom agreed. "It sounded like you had a lot going on over on the east coast. That kind of trip would wear anybody out."
Taylor breathed a sigh letting his shoulders slump playfully. "Ahh, that makes me feel better."
He looked at me as he straightened again. Our eyes locked, and for a second, it felt like we were the only two at the table. He held his hand out, and I took it, but it was too awkward to hold with them hanging between us like that, so we just gave each other a squeeze and dropped hands. The squeeze was enough. Taylor hadn't been able to refrain from making contact, and that fact held me over during the remainder of lunch.
We stayed at that restaurant for over an hour, talking about Taylor mostly. My mom and sisters had a lot of questions for him. They wanted to know about his family and his work, and he answered their questions with honest candor that made me smile the whole time. He had come from humble beginnings, and he wasn't ashamed. Multiple times, he mentioned learning different valuable lessons from the less-than-perfect experiences in his life. His past had only made him stronger, wiser.
He asked my mom a few things about me. He mentioned the story of me being a stowaway that Dad had told, and Mom told it from her point of view. Both of my sisters remembered the incident as well, and they offered their take on it, which was also really funny.
Taylor picked up the check, and my mom and sisters thanked him before heading off. He and I stayed at the table. They knew that Taylor and I had plans to hang out after lunch, so they left before we did. Taylor and I stayed to finish with the tab and talk about what we were going to do next.
Just as soon as my mom and sisters were gone, I scooted my chair toward him. He reached out, helping me with the process by pulling me closer. I smiled as he drew me near. I didn't need to do any work at all.
He leaned over, bringing his face to my neck. I felt and heard him breathe in through his nose. He took a deep breath, taking in the scent of my neck before placing a tender kiss on my cheek.
"Blue, I have missed you way more than I should've."
I reached up, placing my hand on his face, letting my fingertips touch his cheek. My hands were cold and the contact made Taylor smile.
"I think you should have missed me," I said, looking straight at him.
"You do?"
I nodded.
"Did you miss me?" he asked.
Our chairs were so close together that they were touching. This meant our faces were extremely close. We both tried to act casual since we were in the middle of a crowded restaurant, but the energy between us was extremely charged.
"I did miss you," I said.
I couldn't bear being so transparent—it made me all giddy inside. He was everything I wanted physically, but that was just the tip of the iceberg.
He had told me something in one of our conversations, and looking at him, I felt like it was the truth.
He told me the Old Testament story where a man went onto a mountain for forty days and encountered God. After this time, his face actually physically glowed. The thing was, eventually, the glow wore off.
Taylor said that's why he feels like he needs to spend time with God. Not to be religious, but to get a recharge or a refill—like his glow eventually goes away if he doesn't do something practical to connect with God on a regular basis.
That was just one tiny piece of one conversation I had with Taylor during the past week. We had talked about art, food, movies, family—everything you could imagine, really.
It was this conversation, however, the one about Moses with the glowing face, that came to my mind as I looked at Taylor in that restaurant. And the reason it came to my mind was that he did glow. Maybe not literally, but there was something—some peace and contentment—some supernatural confidence he exuded.
I stared at the table because I was overwhelmed by it—overwhelmed by him. I wanted so badly to be a part of this guy's life, that I felt like I was constantly on the verge of just coming out and saying it.
Taylor used his finger to nudge my chin toward him. "How much?" he asked, referring to my statement about missing him.
I smiled. "Too much."