The staircase was grey and empty, and somehow, miraculously, out of the great drab emptiness, came Taylor. I stepped down onto the landing and positioned myself in the corner, leaning against the wall as I turned to look at him. I tried to appear casual. Taylor came to stand near me with a kind, curious smile.
"What in the world are you doing here, Blue? Why are you here, on the stairs?"
"I was thinking about coming down to get a… I was gonna see if the front desk had tooth—" I paused and sighed, knowing he could hear how shaken I was in my voice. "No reason," I said. "Exercise."
I took a deep calming breath. I could see Taylor's chest rising and falling as he steadied his breathing as well. Of course, he would be out of breath. He had just come up nine flights of stairs. I had only gone down a few. I had no excuse.
"Do you need a toothbrush?" he asked.
"No," I said.
Out of panic-induced honesty, I almost added that it was just a ploy to get downstairs to see him, but I thought better of it at the last second.
"What are you doing in the stairway?" I asked. I glanced around. "Checking the fire extinguishers or something?"
Taylor gave me a little grin, taking a step closer to me. He turned and found a place next to me with his back against the wall. He was standing only a foot or two from me now, and I looked him over, taking in little insignificant things like the stitching on his shirt and the trimmed hair of his sideburns. I sighed again, trying to get control of my breathing.
He glanced at me. "I wasn't checking the fire extinguishers."
"What are you doing, then? Exercising, like me?"
"I guess," he said. "I guess you can call it that. I was hoping for this exact thing to happen, if you want to know the truth."
"What exact thing?" I asked.
He glanced at me with a grin. "This," he said, nodding once toward me.
I smiled. But I was weak in the knees at the fact that he wasn't joking. My stomach was alive with jitters, butterflies. I leaned against the handrail for support. "So, you were hoping to run into someone in the staircase?" I asked.
"Yep," he said. "Not just anyone, though."
He was going to say he wanted to run into me.
I knew he was going to say it, and my insides were absolutely buzzing with adrenaline. I felt alive with nerves—like I was in the top two at the very end of the Miss Universe pageant, and they were about to announce the winner. I desperately wanted Taylor to say that he specifically wanted to run into me in that stairwell.
He leaned against the wall, seeming content to leave his statement at that.
"How many staircases are in this building?" I asked.
"Two inside and one outside. So, three."
"Plus, the elevators," I added.
Taylor nodded. "Yes. Two of those, and a freight elevator."
We stood there for a few seconds.
"It's kinda crazy," I said. "Running into you here. In this one."
Taylor moved to come even closer. He came to stand right in front of me and a little to my side. He was less than a foot away, now. Our bodies were almost touching. I leaned my head against the wall so that I could stare up at him. I felt like I might actually break into pieces. The levels of desire and anticipation flowing through my body in that moment were unprecedented. I wanted him to kiss me so badly that I was in danger of grabbing him and pulling him to me.
"Blue, when we… a minute ago when we… when we said goodbye… I wanted… there was something I didn't get to say."
I leaned against the brick wall, not breathing as I stared up at him. "What was it?" I managed to ask.
"It was that I…" Taylor spoke slowly, absentmindedly, as if losing his concentration in the middle of what he was saying. He stared at me, his green gaze roaming all over my face. He seemed to me like some kind of predatory animal. "I… I don't remember." He shook his head as he spoke.
I smiled. "You don't remember?" I asked.
He shook his head absentmindedly as he continued to scan my face. "I don't even know what I was saying. I have no idea what we were talking about."
"You said there was something you didn't get to say to me," I said. "What did you want to say?"
"I don't know what it was," Taylor said, shaking his head almost imperceptibly. "I didn't plan anything past this moment. I didn't plan this, actually. I never thought you'd… I never imagined you'd actually be in here."
I stared at him for several seconds. The air between us was charged, but neither of us said anything. I glanced to the side and upward, to the door that lead to the ninth floor. I bit my lip. "I guess I'll be going up to my room, then." I delivered the words with such a lack of enthusiasm that Taylor's smile broadened.
"I guess so," he said. "And I guess I'll be going down to mine." Besides a slight shrug, he didn't move at all. It didn't look like he was in a big hurry to go anywhere.
"Yeah," I said. "It was nice seeing you. I'm glad I ran into you in here."
"Me too," he said. "Like you said, what are the chances?"
We both spoke slowly, staring at each other and relishing the awkward pauses between our conversation. I felt like we were about to either kiss passionately, or turn to say goodbye. I could not tell which was about to happen.
I didn't want to walk away from him.
"l like your shirt," I said, stalling.
I glanced downward, biting the inside of my cheek before looking at him again.
The corner of his mouth lifted in a slow grin. "You like my shirt?" he asked, wearing a tiny smirk as he held eye contact.
I nodded, glancing nervously at the collar and his shoulder. "I like the colors," I said. "White with that purple and pink and green."
He inched slightly closer, and my eyes met his again.
"I liked what you said back at Mitch's house, too," I added, feeling like I should do something better than list the colors of his shirt.
"About what?" he asked.
"Everything," I said. "Your hotel and… just everything. I liked everything you said."
He gave me another amused grin. "I liked everything you said, too," he said. He moved again, stepping closer even still.
"I'm really glad you're coming to the game tomorrow—" I barely had the words out of my mouth when he kissed me.
He did it in a swift, sudden but gentle moment. Taylor ducked, expertly aiming his lips to mine. I stretched up instantly, meeting him, letting him know I wanted this to happen. I reached up, touching the side of his face as we kissed once, twice, three, and then four times. He pulled back and looked at me after the fourth kiss, and my hand dropped from his face.
He ducked and kissed me again. I leaned up to kiss him back, but this time my hands were positioned on his shoulders. Absentmindedly, I grabbed his shirt, taking fistfuls of the material at his shoulder for leverage. I couldn’t help myself. It was a natural reaction to the spine-tingling, toe-curling effects of his kiss. His mouth was perfectly full and soft, and it felt exactly how I thought it would. His touch was tentative and gentle, and it caused an aching sensation inside me.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, pulling back just enough to break contact with me.
He kissed me again, but instantly pulled back a second time.
"I'm sorry for doing this," he said. "I can't seem to help myself."
He kissed me again.
"I'm going to stop. I promise."
Kiss.
"I'm sorry, Blue. I'm trying. I know you need to get back to your…"
Kiss.
"Room."
Kiss.
"I didn't mean to do it, I just… I’m sorry."
Kiss.
Kiss.
"That was the last one."
I giggled, shaking my head at him, and he kissed me again.
"Okay, I swear, that was…"
Kiss.
"This one, right here, this is the…"
Kiss.
"Last."
Kiss.
"One."
Kiss.
"Oh, my gosh."
Kiss.
"Bluuue."
Kiss.
He let that last one linger on my mouth for what must have been ten seconds. Our lips, just touching, unmoving. I wanted him to kiss me deeper, but it wasn't going to happen tonight. I knew he was waging an internal battle with how far he had already taken it. I could feel that he was holding back, being intentionally gentle.
"I'm glad I'm going to the game tomorrow, too," he whispered.
He pulled away, taking a small step back. His eyes were shut tightly as he ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to—"
"It's okay," I said. "I'm sorry, too."
"No, it was my fault. Really, I shouldn't have. I just didn't think I would run into you in here, and when I did, and you were… I just… I never, ever, ever, do things like this, so…"
He leaned in quickly, and snuck one last kiss in. This one was a little harder because he was moving swiftly.
"I'm sorry," he said again, causing me grin at him. "I'm really gonna go this time. I have to go downstairs."
He started to break away so that he could start climbing down the stairs, but then he turned around, regarding me. "Do you need anything? From downstairs? A toothbrush? Some chocolate milk?"
I let out a laugh. "Chocolate milk?"
"Anything?" he asked with a sweet smile.
I shook my head.
He continued smiling at me as he started to walk off. "I'm sorry about that," he said again.
"I'm not," I said.
He was already down two steps, but I watched with delight as he spun around and headed back to me. He stopped when he was directly in front of me, looking me straight in the eyes and causing me to squirm a little. "What did you say?" he asked.
"That I'm not," I said shyly.
"You're not what?" he asked.
"Not sorry."
"Not sorry for what?"
"That you did that, kissed me," I said, my voice sounding vulnerable, even to my own ears.
"In that case," he said.
Kiss.
"Just one more, and I promise…"
Kiss.
"I'll let you go."
Kiss.
"Goodness, Blue," he said, pulling back again. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" He stepped away, and I felt empty.
I gave him a nod. "Goodnight, Taylor."
"Goodnight."
And just like that, he was gone.
I was left standing there, feeling like my life was a movie. What kind of crazy world was I living in that I just walked into the stairwell and just so happened to meet up with the one guy I really wanted to meet up with?
Over the years, I had imagined different things like that happening—different, dream-come-true, best-case-scenario moments. But never did they actually happen.
I stared at the gray wall, wondering how in all of heaven and earth had I just experienced that.
Blankly, I began walking up the stairs.
I climbed methodically, stair after stair until I reached the door on the penthouse level.
I might as well have been floating. My feet felt like they weren't even touching the floor. It vaguely registered that I could have taken the elevator instead of walking all the way up the stairs, but I hadn't been thinking straight. I hardly remembered getting from point A to point B, anyway.
My dad was sitting at the bar when I walked into the suite. I thought Karen or Nick might be around since they often hung out in my dad's room, but they had already gone to their own rooms.
"Did you get some exercise?" Dad asked.
His question made me think of the whole exchange in the stairwell, which in turn, made a huge smile spread across my face. I knew better than to let it happen, but it was uncontrollable. I took off my shoes and bent down to pick them up just to give myself something to do besides smile goofily at my dad.
"Whatcha smiling at?" Dad asked.
Thankfully, he was preoccupied with something on his tablet, so he wasn't that interested and was just asking to be nice. He was staring mostly at the device as he glanced at me from over his reading glasses.
It was because of his preoccupation that I got by with saying, "Nothing," and he believed me.
"You know where the remote is, if you want to stay out here and watch some TV," he said. "I can turn the stereo off."
I shook my head at him when he glanced at me again. "Thanks, but I think I'm gonna go to my room," I said. "I'll probably read and stuff.
"If you talk to your mom, tell her I said 'hi'."
"I will," I promised.
"Hey, Blue-Bug."
"Yeah?"
"You looked beautiful tonight," he said. "And you're smart and funny. I was proud of you over there."
I wanted to start gushing—stating all my insecurities about different moments of the night and asking what he thought Taylor thought of me. But I didn't. "Thank you," I said.
"Really," he said. "Mitch and Rhonda are both really smart, and obviously so is that kid, Taylor, too, and you were just right in there with them. Saying stuff your old man didn't even understand. I don't think I tell you enough, but I'm proud of all the things you know. You're a good girl."
I tilted my head to the side. "Aw, thanks, Dad. I was second guessing everything that came out of my mouth tonight. I know they're smart. I got nervous around them."
"You didn't used to get nervous around them," Dad said.
I shrugged. "I did tonight," I said. I lifted up my arm, sniffing and feeling thankful that it still smelled like deodorant. "I was sweating."
"I don't think it was Mitch and Rhonda making you sweat," Dad said, grinning.
I rolled my eyes at him, but another smile crept onto my face because the thought of Taylor instantly brought to mind the things that had just happened.
"See?" he said. "Look at you, grinning."
"I'm laughing at you," I lied, turning to walk to my room.
"I love you," he called.
"Love you too!" I yelled back. "See you in the morning."
"Hey, we're leaving at nine-thirty, so whatever time you need to set an alarm…"