CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Langston
If I ever… ever… even had one single fleeting thought about not having enough action in my life again, I might consider drowning myself. I’d had enough action in the past week to last me a thousand or so years.
The car bombs. My dad’s death. Taking over his practice. Scarlett. Learning I was a dad. To twins. Aliens.
I took the cloth from the nurse and pressed it to my nose. She hadn’t hit me hard, just at the right angle to cause a trickle of blood.
Damn. She slept like the dead, but she woke like the demons from hell.
“Are you okay?” she asked and tried to pull away. I held her tighter and toss the rag to the floor. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“Shhh… it’s okay. That nightmare seemed like a whopper.”
The screaming babies were making her twitchy, so I let her go and she reached for them. Her mouth was tight with pain as she adjusted her position on the bed, and lowered her gown.
Sofi latched on like a champ, sucking hard, causing Scarlett to cry out.
“Are you okay?” I asked, ready to step in and do whatever was needed.
“My uterus.” She growled with pain as Samuel latched on then spit it out, screaming like someone in a horror movie. “It contracts when they begin to nurse.” She gritted her teeth as he finally took the nipple. “It’s a good thing but it hurts like crazy. It feels like I’m in labor again.”
For a while, we sat like that while the babies nursed, and Scarlett leaned back into the pillows, closing her eyes against the bright lights. I stood and dimmed them a bit.
“Do you want to burp?”
She looked so hopeful that there was no way I could say no. Gingerly, I took a little towel and tossed it over my shoulder, then picked Sofi up, trying not to break her. She curled up into the tiniest little ball as I got her in the same position Scarlett was doing with Samuel.
“Pat a little harder.” Scarlett smiled. “She won’t break.”
My entire hand took up all of the baby’s back and butt, and I was terrified that I was patting her too hard. I increased the pressure the tiniest amount. Nothing. A little more. Then more. Soon, it felt like I was walloping the kid. But she burped! I couldn’t believe it. I actually made my baby do that. Scarlett beamed at me, then had her hands full with Samuel’s spit up.
My eyes burned as I cradled my daughter in my hands. It was the first time I’d really held her without being burrito tight in a blanket. She peered up at me, her dark blue eyes crossing then refocusing on my face. Her small fists swatted at the air as she farted on my palm.
“That’s my girl. Get it all out.”
Scarlett laughed and settled Samuel on the opposite breast. I took that as my cue and handed Sofi over. But it was hard. I didn’t want to let her go.
“I’m twenty-four. I’ll be twenty-five next month.”
My jaw sagged, not just from surprise at her seemingly random revelation. I was a dirty old man. “No shit. What day?”
“June seventh.”
No fucking way. “Well, that will be easy to remember because mine is the eighth.”
It was her turn to be slack jawed. “Are you serious? How old will you be?”
I scrubbed my face with my hands. “I’m a cradle robber. A dirty old man.”
She laughed. “You can’t be that old. What, forty-eight? Forty-nine?”
“What!” The minute I saw her face, I knew she was kidding. “Thirty-seven, thank you very much.”
“That’s not so bad,” she said, her eyes shining. “You were just in junior high when I was born.”
I ignored her. “What was the dream about?”
The smile slid down her face, and her eyes fell to the babies. “Um, nothing. It was stupid.”
“It didn’t sound or look stupid. It looked pretty terrifying.”
“I don’t normally dream. Or remember them, anyway.”
I smiled and moved until I sat on the edge of the bed. “I’ve never met anyone who sleeps as deeply as you. At least you did that night, um morning.”
“You really tried to wake me?”
I reached up and pushed a damp tendril of hair behind her ear. “I did. I should have tried harder.”
Her blue eyes glistened as tears brimmed. She blinked rapidly, letting out a little laugh. “I’m sorry. These hormones are kicking my butt.”
When one fell, I lifted a hand to brush it away. “I missed you, Scarlett. I didn’t know your name at the time, but I thought about you every day. You were like that witch, or maybe a ghost sounds better, haunting me.”
She laughed. “Well, you’re a vampire, so I guess being a ghost isn’t so bad.”
I’m a vampire?
“What?”
Her cheeks turned that pretty shade of pink. “The dream. I dreamed you turned into a vampire and sank your fangs into my neck.”
I chomped my teeth together, and she giggled. It was a pretty sound. It also caused my cock to twitch, and I mentally slapped that shit down.
Her attention was on the babies again. “I think they’re done. I’ll be glad when my milk comes in, and I won’t feel like I’m starving them to death.” She handed me Samuel, who felt more solid in my hands as I carefully lifted him over a shoulder. “It’s funny. For years now, I’ve instructed moms on how to do this, not realizing until today just how tough it is.”
I was braver with Samuel and gave him some good pats, then dealt with the spit up that followed. Not a pleasant smell.
“Can you hand me a diaper and wipes?” Scarlett asked, and I got my first lesson on how to change a baby while dodging the stream of urine in the process. “Want to try it with Sofi?”
I took a deep breath. I could do this. “Sure.”
And I did, and it seemed like each tiny success built my confidence in a small way. Soon, the babies were dry and swaddled again, just as someone knocked on the door.
“Come in.”
Olivia poked her head in, giving me an I’m sorry grimace. “I’m sorry, but you’re needed in room eight.”
I groaned. “Any knifes? Crazy people? Drug addictions?” I almost added any secret baby mommas but managed to pull it off the tip of my tongue just in time. I didn’t think either woman would think it was funny.
“Nope. Looking to be a standard delivery. Fourth baby, so things are going fast.”
I pushed myself to my feet, then leaned down to press my lips against Scarlett’s forehead. “I’ll be back. I promise.”
She smiled up at me and reached out to squeeze my hand. “I’ll be right here.”
The delivery was textbook, the mother pushing like a champ. I was only in the room for about fifteen minutes and could have honestly hugged the mother’s neck for being so drama free and efficient.
Back in Scarlett’s room, it was empty. I double-checked that I’d gotten the right one. “Babies are in the nursery,” Olivia called from down the hall. “Scarlett’s taking a shower.”
I nodded my thanks and closed the door behind me, then stepped over to the bathroom and listened. The shower was on, but there was another noise.
Crying?
I listened harder. No. What I was hearing was great, heaving sobs.
They broke my heart.
Opening the door, I stepped inside and the crying abruptly stopped.
“Scarlett?”
There was a small gasp from the other side of the shower curtain, then a very small, “Go away.”
“No. I’m not doing that again.”
She began to cry, even harder this time, and I felt so helpless. Toeing off my shoes, I took my wallet and keys from my pockets and placed them on the little shelf along with my watch. I pulled the curtain back and stepped inside, scrubs and all.
She shrieked, grabbing for the curtain, trying to pull it in front of her body. “Don’t look,” she cried. “I don’t want you to see me like this.”
“You’re beautiful,” I said simply and took the curtain from her hands. “Even more so than when I knew you before.”
Tears streamed down her face. “Don’t. Don’t lie.”
I took a deep breath. Her body was different now. She was right. I couldn’t lie and tell her it wasn’t. I couldn’t placate her with words she wasn’t ready to hear. What I could do was show her that the differences didn’t matter, that they were beautiful in their own way. What I could also do was tell her the truth. My truth, at least.
“Do you remember telling me that I seemed lonely?”
She shivered, and I reached up to turn the blast of water from the nozzle more fully on her. A little more comfortable with me being in here with her now, she nodded, one hand covering her breasts, one trying to hide the stretch marks on her bloated stomach.
“You were right. I was a man who had everything. Loving parents who doted on me, a best friend who forced me to have fun. Best homes. Best cars. Best schools. Best everything.”
The hand fell away from her breasts, but the one on her stomach remained.
“There was still something missing. I was lonely, and out of all the people who were around me, no one ever noticed. But you knew. You saw through the bullshit. You saw me.”
Very tentatively, I reached out and pushed her wet curls off her face. A tear crossed the barrier of her eyelashes, and I brushed it away.
“Now, I find out you gave me the greatest gift imaginable. A gift that, if you let me, will ensure I’ll never be lonely again.”
Another tear fell, but a small laugh came with it.
“This body did that for me, Scarlett. This strong, courageous beast of a body kept my children nourished and protected all this time.”
When she continued to not flinch away when I reached for her, I took that as a good sign. I picked up her bottle of shampoo and poured a puddle of it in my palm.
“Let me thank you, Scarlett. It’s a small gesture, I know that. But maybe if I do enough small things, they might one day come close to thanking you for what you’ve done for me. Can I? Can I please show you how much you mean to me?”
She licked her lips, a gesture I now knew she did when she was nervous. “Do you want to wait until you know they’re yours?”
“They’re mine.” I said it with no hesitation. No doubt. And I believed it. More than that, it had to be true.
Gingerly, she stepped out from the running water, and I lifted the shampoo to her hair. She groaned with pleasure as I massaged her scalp before working the lather to the ends. The foam washed down her body, pooling at our feet. I picked up the conditioner and worked it into her hair too before picking up the bar of soap and a wash cloth.
Inch by inch, I washed her, starting at her neck and throat, working down to her fingertips. I was gentle with her breasts and didn’t let her pull away when I reached the sagging flesh on her stomach. Her back was next, her buttocks. I sank to my knees to wash her legs and feet. When I prepared to wash between her legs last, it was where she stopped me.
“I’m bleeding.”
I grinned. “I’m very aware of that.”
“I have stitches.”
“Very aware of that too.”
Her lips fluttered with her exhale. “It really doesn’t bother you?”
I gave her a blank stare. “I happen to be very infatuated with this part of you, Scarlett.” Very gently, I washed her there, watching her face very carefully for any signs of distress or pain. “I hope one day that I can reintroduce myself to every part of you.” She closed her eyes, shuddered, and I didn’t say more.
I wanted to. I wanted to tell her just how much I thought of her when I was gone. Missed her. Mourned the loss of her. Here, in this vulnerable position wasn’t the time.
“I can’t believe you still find me attractive,” she admitted, meeting my gaze.
“I find you more than attractive, Scarlett. You are the sexiest woman I’ve ever known.”
She snorted. “Okay, Dr. McLiar.” As a sort of proof, I pointedly looked down at the front of my pants. She followed my gaze and saw the tent there. “Oh.”
I grinned. “The cock doesn’t lie.”
She laughed, and the Scarlett I first met was back. The teeth. The shining light in her eyes. “You know you aren’t touching me with that thing, don’t you?”
So fucking adorable. I laughed. “Yes, I’m aware, and I can wait until you want me.” I kissed her forehead, then spit as I got a bit of conditioner in my mouth.
She laughed again, and suddenly, all was right in the world.
“Let’s get you rinsed off and dressed.”
I ran my fingers down her long strands, softened by the conditioner. When she was rinsed, I turned the water off and reached for a couple towels.
“You’re soaked,” she said, pulling the scrub top away from my stomach.
“Totally worth it.”
There was a quick knock, then the door opened, and Olivia’s face appeared in the doorway. Scarlett yelped, and I might or might not have jumped too.
“You ooo… boy.” Recovering from the surprise of seeing a soaking wet man in the room, the nurse’s eyes narrowed on me in an instant. “Everything okay in here?”
Scarlett wrapped the towel around her more firmly. “Yes, I’m fine. He was just helping.”
An eyebrow lifted. “Uh huh. Right.” She cast a glance around the room, her professional expression snapping back into place. “You need a fresh gown, and you…” the eyes narrowed again, “need dry scrubs.”
“Both would be appreciated,” I said as I wrapped a towel around Scarlett’s hair.
She was back a minute later and helped Scarlett into the gown and all the postpartum pads and things she needed, while I stepped into the larger room to change.
“Can you… oh dear god.” I had just dropped the wet scrub top into the laundry bin and was about to pull on the new one. Olivia cleared her throat, her head sticking out between the door and doorframe, as she stared at my chest and my tattoo.
“Yes?”
“I… I…” She yanked her head back in and slammed the bathroom door closed. Behind it, I could hear the women laugh. I thought I heard a “No wonder you got knocked up” followed by a small giggle. Her giggle. I’d know it anywhere.
It was a small victory to make the normally unflappable nurse flap. But I finished changing quickly, not wanting to shock her that I was going commando. With the choice being loose and swinging or wet and chaffing, I’d let it mimic a pendulum all day long.
Scarlett appeared through the door the next time. “Are you dressed?”
“It’s clear.”
Olivia was back to unflappable again and she stuffed the wet things in the blue bag. “Hope it’s okay, but I ordered dinner for both of you too,” she said, handing me my credit card. “You look like a steak and potatoes kind of guy, but if I was wrong, sorry.”
She pointed out the boxes of food and Scarlett’s stomach rumbled. We looked at each other and laughed. I shook my head. “If there are pancakes in those boxes, I’m giving up and becoming religious.”
Scarlett was still grinning when she walked stiffly back to the bed. Olivia hurried around and changed the sheets, put down a new protective pad, and fluffed the pillows. Nurses worked damn hard. Being here was giving me a new appreciation for all they did.
“Grilled cheese and tomato soup.” Scarlett picked up the bowl, took off the lid, and sipped straight from the container. “I don’t think I’ve been so hungry in my entire life.”
I was called away for another delivery before I could take a bite. It was another smooth one, and I was back a half hour later to find Scarlett taking another nap.
Eating in the silence of the room, Scarlett’s soft breathing the only sound, I didn’t feel lonely anymore.