The ball was well under way, and Katherine had danced and laughed the night away with Cecilia and Darcy, along with Lord Leighton who hadn’t left her side. He’d danced a waltz with her, stepped out with his mother’s ward Miss Lizzie Doherty who seemed a lovely young woman, beside the fact she had to deal with Hamish’s mother most days. Hamish had then danced with her again but seemed quite content not to move from his current position and dance with any others.

It suited Katherine perfectly well. She adored having him dote on her, and that’s exactly what he’d been doing since their return from Surrey. Within their friendship group it was no longer a secret of their liaison. The duke had warned her of the scandal that would break should such a liaison become public knowledge. They’d been very discreet and careful and there was no reason why their relationship could not continue. At least in her mind.

Lord Leighton reached down between them and slid his finger over her pinkie. “Meet me in the music room. No one will be in there.”

Need coursed through her veins and she met his gaze, reveling in the desire and heat that she saw there. He looked exactly how she felt. “Where is it?”

“Head toward the withdrawing room upstairs, but on the landing, turn right instead of left. It’s the only door on the right-hand side of the corridor. I’ll leave it ajar,” he whispered, moving away through the throng.

Katherine made a point of taking little heed of his leaving and turned to Cecilia who was discussing the invitation Lord Leighton had bestowed on them all for a month-long house party at his country estate after the Season. Upon receiving the invite she’d thrilled at the idea of seeing his home, and yet, the thought gave her pause. They had been having an affair for almost two months and he had not once suggested as to when they would end, when he’d wish to leave.

And even though she’d asked him to sleep with her, show and teach her everything, it now felt like an arrangement, almost as if she’d become his mistress. Not that he wasn’t caring, or loyal to her, for she never doubted that, only that she wanted more. Being loved by Hamish had showed her that she was valued as a woman, not just a Long Meg with plain hair that people passed over. But a woman, one who now knew how to love, not just Lord Leighton but herself. She did not dress to please anyone but herself, and she certainly carried herself as an equal with her friends. Never would she allow anyone to cast her out as if she was nothing but trade. But as time progressed, each liaison she had with Hamish had started to make her feel as if she wasn’t worth more than a tumble. And it was no longer enough.

“I’m going to the retiring room. I shall be back shortly,” she said, bobbing a small curtsy to her grace and the marquess and marchioness.

The room was easy to find and entering she quickly looked to ensure no one had seen her and shut the door. Hamish stood by the windows, looking out over the gardens. Her heart did a little flip and she took her fill of him before walking over to where he stood.

“You look so beautiful tonight,” he said, kissing her. It had been almost two weeks since they’d seen each other, and the embrace quickly turned from sedate, and sweet to incendiary. Somehow, each time they were together they just worked. They knew where each other liked to be touched, what kisses drove the other mad, and Katherine clung to him, meeting his demand with her own to match.

“I have to have you,” he murmured.

Katherine acquiesced his request, wanting him too, and forgetting her own misgivings of earlier let him push her over toward a settee. There was time to discuss what they were, whatever that may be. They could do that tomorrow, away from the ball and any eavesdropping matrons of the ton. Tonight, right now, she wanted to have him all to herself, love him as much as she adored him and show him that she was his, if only he’d ask.

The settee hit the back of her legs and she sat. Hamish didn’t waste any time before bearing her down, hitching her skirts up about her waist, his hand sliding against her core in tantalising strokes.

“I cannot get enough of you,” he said, his voice roughened with desire. He kneeled between her legs and ripped at his frontfalls, coming back over her and thrusting into her hard. They both moaned at the sheer delight of being together in this way. He kissed her hard, and she gasped as he pushed her toward a fast climax. They fit so perfectly well, and she shut her eyes as tears pricked behind her lids. She wouldn’t become emotional over their joining, even if it was so very good. All that she’d hoped to have with a husband one day, back when she’d thought to marry.

His strokes deepened and with it the pleasure of their joining teased with exquisite torture. “Hamish, just there. Don’t stop.”

The whispered word ‘never’ tickled her ear and ecstasy rocked through her, hard and fast and she muffled her moan into the shoulder of his jacket. He took her without restraint then and with a muffled groan found his own pleasure within her.

The moment he did he stilled.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, pulling her head back from his shoulder to look at him.

“I didn’t pull out,” he said, frowning. “Damn it, Katherine. I’m sorry.”

She shook her head, dismissing the idea that the one time he’d made such an error would ever result in a baby. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. Let us not needlessly worry unless we need to.”

The fact that he hadn’t mentioned that he’d marry her should the mistake result in a child, hurt. Hamish had come to mean so much to her. Did he feel the same? By his reaction she could only assume he hadn’t come to feel for her as she did for him. For it had been many weeks since Katherine, without any doubt came to realize she loved him. With all her heart and would give anything for him to feel the same.

He moved off her, righting his clothes and she stood, doing the same, going over to a nearby mirror and fixing her hair. “I had better return to the ball. I shall see you again soon.” Moving toward the door, he grabbed her arm, pulling her to stop.

Leaning down, Hamish kissed her with such tenderness that she pulled away and left without another word. Why she was so emotional made no sense, she was not normally a woman who succumbed to hysterics. She just needed some time, to think about what she would say to Hamish when she saw him again, but no matter what, if they were not going to have a future, then the liaison had to come to an end. The thought made her double over and she leaned against the wall, not wanting to even imagine a future without him. Why did she have to proposition him? Why did she have to know what lying with a man would be like? If only it wasn’t going to be her heart that broke in two when he agreed to her fears and they parted as friends.

The following day Katherine had been summoned to the Duchess of Athelby’s for afternoon tea, but upon arrival found only Darcy and Cecilia present. Pleasure at having her friends to herself was soon replaced by the tempered looks they cast her upon arrival.

Katherine sat in the available wing back chair, folding her hands in her lap and wondered what was amiss. “You two are very glum this afternoon. Is there something wrong?”

Darcy poured the tea, throwing her a tentative smile before sitting down. Cecilia was quiet, contemplative and taking a sip of her tea then placed the cup on the linen covered table and met her eyes. “You were seen last night, in the music room, and not by us. Should it have been any one of us, as your friends we would’ve hidden any infraction you may have taken part in, but we cannot hide what is in today’s gossip rag.”

Thankfully Katherine was seated, for had she been standing her legs would’ve surely given out. She’d been seen? Oh, dear lord, which part had they seen? The kiss or the second act where Lord Leighton had pinned her upon the sofa and…Oh no…

She cringed, and picking up the paper, read the words that seemed to scream out at her, mocking and ripping her reputation to shreds. Harlot!

“Father reads this paper.” Her heart skidded to a stop, her gown too tight, the room spun and distantly she heard Darcy call out for salts. Within a moment she was cast back to reality, but no sooner had that occurred the thought of what all of London knew, what they were thinking ricocheted through her mind.

She read the article a second time, not wanting to believe what was written in black and white.

“I’m ruined. I should probably leave.” Katherine stood, and Darcy reached out a hand, stopping her.

“You’re not going anywhere. What happened last night, Katherine, we need to know. The duke has gone to fetch Lord Leighton as we speak, there are things we must do to try and salvage your reputation.”

Katherine stood and walked to the decanter of whisky, pouring herself a glass, drinking it down before repeating it all again. Her father would be crushed to know she’d fallen. He would be livid, which was not a state that Katherine ever saw him in. And she’d done that to him. She’d embarrassed everyone including herself.

She met her friends’ concerned eyes and sighed. “You know I wanted an affair with Lord Leighton, to experience a little of what you both have. I had resigned myself to never marry, never finding the man whom I loved and respected.”

“That is not true, Kat. You’re a beautiful woman and anyone would be honoured to marry you. If only you would let us seek you potential suitors,” Cecilia said, taking her hand.

Katherine squeezed it a little before letting it go. Either way, her friend’s words did not change what she knew to be true. Had she been desirable, attractive she would’ve married years ago. Her dowry was large, more than a lot of people imagined, but even that had not been tempting enough. Or too tempting and her only courtiers were fortune hunters. “Lord Leighton is famous for his blonde, goddess like women who have curves in all the right places. Beautiful skin, and sparking eyes. I may have pretty eyes, I will admit to that, but my hair is the colour of rats’ fur.”

“Katherine, that is absurd. Stop talking about yourself in such a way. I’ll not allow it,” the duchess declared, crossing her arms about her front.

“But you will allow it because it’s the truth. The only reason why Lord Leighton and I were together was because he owed me a favour. Nothing more. I’ve come to realize that now.”

The front door slammed and within a moment the front parlor door opened and in walked Lord Leighton and the Duke of Athelby. Hamish looked wretched, his hair askew and cravat laying untied about his neck.

The duke went to stand over beside a window, looking out onto the street, and Hamish came over to her, kneeling beside her.

“Kat, I’m so sorry. I should never have allowed all that I have to happen between us, and now I’ve ruined you.”

“You must fix this, Leighton. Make this right,” the duke said, not looking at them.

“Right?” Hamish asked, frowning at the duke. “And how do you suppose I’d manage that?”

Heat bloomed on Katherine’s cheeks and she stood, walking over to stand before the fire, suddenly chilled. “He means make it right by marrying me, Lord Leighton.”

His lordship met her eyes, the horror on his features all that she needed to see to know her place. The little piece of her heart that hoped he may care for her, would wish to maybe marry her instead of continuing his bachelor ways shrivelled and died.

The shock and disappointment in Darcy and Cecilia’s gaze made her understand more than ever before that he was only ever having fun. And it was her own fault, she’d offered herself as a prize, too ugly and thin to be worthy of love, too tarnished by trade, housed too far away from Mayfair to be suitable. She should’ve let Lord Leighton have his skull cracked open that night at the Inn. She should’ve walked away, but she hadn’t. Because she’d known who he was and knew they had mutual friends, even if he wasn’t aware.

“I must go,” she said, walking to the door.

Lord Leighton crossed in front of her, blocking her way.

“Katherine, we will make this right. I shall not allow your reputation to be tarnished over something that cannot be proved.”

She shook her head, not knowing that someone who had given her so much ecstasy only hours before could cause so much pain that she physically hurt. “Go to hell, Hamish. I want nothing from you.”

“You will marry my friend, or I’ll call you out,” Cecilia said, standing and throwing her hands on her hips.

Katherine smiled in thanks, but she could never marry a man who did not want her.

“Thank you, Lia, but I wouldn’t marry Lord Leighton now even if he asked?”

“Why not?” Hamish and Darcy demand in unison.

“I don’t intend to marry at all and I can promise you that I would never marry a man who hesitated, promised all sorts of ways to fix the ruination of my reputation, all but the one way in which to fix it. Marriage. I knew when we were together from the first that it was a risk, but I was willing to take it for one night with you. I will not throw myself at your mercy, for a union with a man who does not care for me.” Katherine dipped into a small curtsy and left, only making the front steps before tears broke free and her shoulders shook in despair.

He had not been falling in love with her as she had been with him. She’d been alone in that emotion. The stone pavement shivered before her and without warning, she ran for the small hedged garden that sat on either side of the door and cast up her accounts.

A woman she’d seen at a ball stopped and looked her nose down at Katherine. She pulled out her handkerchief. If her ruination hadn’t been sealed by todays paper, vomiting in front of Lady Cavendish certainly put paid to that.