Cash
Tangled limbs in the sheets. Dozing off between kisses and wandering hands. Getting to know each other through whispered conversation. Hours pass us by in a flash. Rain pelts the window, and the sun sinks toward the horizon, hidden behind the cover of heavy clouds. Jules’ bedroom is growing dimmer by the minute. So is our time together because I know I have to find the strength to leave this bed.
To leave Jules and return to the hospital.
Maybe I should feel guilty for disappearing for the better part of the day, for leaving Monica alone to wake on her own, to face her mistakes by herself, but I don’t.
Jules gave herself to me so completely, with so much trust and acceptance, that there’s not an iota of remorse flowing through my blood. For the first time in days, I’m calm, an aura of serenity driving away the chaos of my mind.
I see our future together so clearly, and I can’t help but reach for it with everything I’ve got.
“I don’t want to leave,” I whisper into her hair, tightening my arms around her, reluctant to let go. Spooning her is pure heaven.
“I don’t want you to go either, but I understand why you have to.”
“This isn’t like before. I’ll be back later. I promise.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
“I’ll be back,” I say firmly. “I’m just going to check on her before going home to pack a bag…if that’s okay?”
She turns in my arms. “Of course it’s okay. This bed is definitely big enough for the two of us.”
Grinning, I bring my lips to hers, and my cock springs to life again, aching to sink inside her body and find completion.
To find home.
I break free with a groan. “You’re an addiction I can’t fight.”
“Don’t fight it then.”
“I have to or I’d keep you in bed forever. You don’t realize the affect you have on me.”
“That’s not true. It’s the same affect you have on me.”
“Fair enough.” Letting out a sigh of resignation, I disentangle from the comfort of her embrace and move to sit at the edge of the bed. Jules gets up and starts gathering her clothing from the floor as I pull on my pants.
“Just for the record,” she says, buttoning up her top, “I’ll wait however long it takes. I’m not going anywhere.”
Two strides brings me to where she stands. I haul her into my arms and pull her into a deep kiss. As her fingers sift through my hair, she wraps her legs around my waist, and it takes the last of my willpower not to tumble onto the bed with her and lose a few more hours.
“If I have my way,” I say, forcing my lips from hers, “you’ll be in my bed every night for the rest of my life.”
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“I don’t want to wait, Jules. As soon as the divorce papers go through, I’m putting the penthouse up for sale. I want to find a place that’s our own.”
Her eyes are a little wide as she slides out of my arms, feet firm on the floor. I grip her shoulders to steady her, because she seems a little off-kilter from what I just told her, and I’m not sure if her reaction is a bad thing, or a good thing.
I’m hoping for the latter.
“You want to move in together?”
I can’t help but grin at her stunned tone. “That’s what I said.” I hold her face in my hands, thumbs brushing her cheekbones.
“This is all happening fast,” she whispers.
“Is that such a bad thing?”
She shakes her head. “It’s just a big thing.” I let my hands drop from her cheeks, and she glances at the gold wedding band on my finger. “I’m surprised you’re ready to jump in so soon, considering everything you’ve been through with your wife.”
“You’re different, Jules.” I don’t know how I know it, but I do. The day I married Monica, my gut was sick with the what-ifs, not to mention the pressure our parents put on us. I have no doubt there was something real between Monica and me, but it didn’t compare to the way I feel about Jules. I would marry her tomorrow if I could. “I want forever with you. White picket fences, children, the whole nine yards.”
“I want that with you too,” she says, gnawing on her lower lip, and I’d have to be blind to miss the uncertainty playing on her face. “But you haven’t even asked your wife for a divorce yet. How about we take it one step at a time?”
“I can do that.” I press my mouth against hers, stealing a final moment before we finish dressing, because the real world is waiting beyond these four walls. By the time we reach her living room, evening has cast her apartment in shadow. Jules flicks on a lamp, and that’s when someone pounds on the door.
A deep voice shouts her name from the other side.
We glance at each other, and her eyes are huge with alarm, because it’s her ex, and she knows it as well as I do.
“I’ll get rid of him,” I say as an illogical wave of jealousy threatens to choke me.
She grabs my arm. “Don’t answer. He’ll go away.”
Another barrage contradicts her words. “I know you’re in there! C’mon, open the fuckin’ door.”
“Damn right, he’s going away.” Before she can stop me, I turn the lock and swing the door open. The idiot causing a ruckus on the other side takes one look at me and sneers.
“I knew I wasn’t imagining it. Saw your mug on the news today. Shouldn’t you be with your wife right now?”
“Shouldn’t you be in Oklahoma where you belong?” I fire back.
He glances past me and glares at Jules. “Another married dude? You’ve turned into a real slut.”
I grip him by the collar. “Apologize to her.”
“Go ahead. Hit me,” he seethes into my face. “I fucking dare you.” Whiskey wafts off of him, surrounding him like an aura.
“Stop it!” Jules wedges between us, and my hold on her asshole ex slips. She shoots us both a warning look before crossing her arms and facing off with him. “You’re drunk,” she says, voice laden with sadness. “I want you to leave.”
“I only had a couple.”
He had more than that, but I keep my opinion to myself.
Jules shakes her head. “You said you were staying sober, remember?”
“I was…I am.” He shoots me another glare, and if looks could maim, he’d have me bleeding out right now. “This is between me and Jules. You need to take a fuckin’ hike.”
“You need to leave her alone. She doesn’t want you anymore.”
“And you know that how? Because you fucked her a few times and now you think you know her?” He takes a step forward, the angles of his face hard and threatening, and I put myself between him and Jules, pure protective instinct taking over.
She immediately tries to come forward again. “Cash, I can handle this.”
“You shouldn’t have to. You told him to leave.” I turn my focus back to her ex. “If you don’t get the hell out of here, I’m calling the police. Do you understand me?”
His anger bottoms out, and desperation flows from his features as he pleads with Jules. “Baby, we need to talk. Please. It’s important.”
“There’s nothing left to say.” Her voice is small, and I hate the way she’s shrinking in this guy’s presence, wilting like a week-old bouquet of her favorite tulips. Something about him makes her unsure of herself, and for that alone, I want to hurt him.
I pull my phone out, prepared to call the authorities, and give him a pointed look. “Last chance. She doesn’t want you here, and neither do I.”
“This doesn’t involve you!” He balls his hands, and my spine stiffens, instincts going on high alert.
“Unless you want me to lay you out on the ground,” I say through gritted teeth, “I suggest you move your ass off my girlfriend’s doorstep.”
My harsh tone sends him back a couple of inches, and I push forward, gaze unwavering from his. Several tense seconds pass before he falters, realizing he won’t win this battle. He takes off down the vestibule and darts into the rain.
I glance at Jules, taking in the paleness of her face, and lace our fingers together. “I don’t feel right leaving you here alone. He might come back.”
“He won’t hurt me.”
“He’s drunk. Intoxicated people can be unpredictable.” I should know, considering how alcohol played a part in changing Monica’s behavior.
“This is nothing new,” she says, yet the strong grip of her hand tells me otherwise. His behavior shook her to the core. “This is Chris being Chris.”
I sigh at the sadness in her voice. “Except now he’s lost you. I don’t trust desperate people, Jules.” I hate that I don’t know her ex better. Maybe I’d feel less nervous about leaving her to fend him off by herself if I knew the guy, but I don’t.
“I’ll be fine,” she says, standing on tiptoe to wind her arms around my neck. “And I promise I’ll never kiss him again.”
“This isn’t about that. I just need to know you’ll be safe.”
“I’ll be fine.” She plants a kiss on my lips. “Go do what you need to do so you can come back to me that much sooner.”
I hold onto her for a while longer, but my gut is heavy with dread. When I make my way into the alley, leaving her on her doorstep, I’m disturbingly unsettled.