21. In the Shadows - Cash
We can’t keep doing this.
I’ve ran that statement through my head too many times to count, but my heart refuses to accept it, otherwise, I wouldn’t be sitting in a dim corner of Kaden’s club stalking Jules as she hangs out with her friends. A dark-haired guy with tattoos sleeving his arms is sitting next to her, and I want to throttle him every time he lays a hand on her shoulder.
It doesn’t matter that he’s closer to her age.
And probably free to be with her.
I still want to kill him.
As I take another drink of my whiskey, someone steps between me and my view of Jules, casting a shadow on my already shitty mood. I look up and find my brother eyeing the drink in my hands.
“You’re back early,” he says.
“Wrapped things up quicker than planned.”
He hops onto the other barstool at my small table for two. “You look like shit.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“Something bugging you?”
I cock a brow. “Why would anything be bugging me?”
“Dude, you’re sitting here looking ragged as hell and drinking.”
“Monica and I haven’t been getting along lately.” It’s true enough, even if it’s a massive understatement. The real reason I look like hell is sitting across the club laughing at something Tattoo Guy said to her.
Kaden turns his attention on the object of my obsession, and it’s too late to avert my gaze. Besides, he knows me better than anyone on this planet, and I’m sure he’s sniffed out the truth by now. I’ve always had a hard time hiding things from him.
“You got something going on with your assistant?”
“No.”
“Then why do you look ready to murder the lead singer of my band?”
I level him with a serious, let-it-drop stare. “Nothing’s going on with her.”
“Not because you don’t want it to,” he says, tapping his fingers on the tabletop.
I shoot him a scowl. The last thing I need right now is a lecture from my brother, especially since he’s not likely to say anything I haven’t already told myself. “Doesn’t matter what I want.” I hold up my left hand, displaying my wedding band. “This makes it a moot point.”
“You mean the shackle Dad pressured you into putting on that finger?”
“Don’t start with me, Kade. I married her because I loved her.”
The past tense in that statement hangs between us, and I throw back the rest of my drink.
“Talk to me, little brother. What’s going on?”
“How about another drink?” I say, setting the empty tumbler down with a thump.
He flags down a barmaid and orders us both another round. While we wait, the silence between us is strained, especially considering he went out with Jules.
It was only one time.
I’m a stranger to logic and reason tonight, so it’s best to not even go there. Instead of stewing over Jules with my brother, I take in the scene. The dance floor in front of the stage is packed with moving bodies, even though the night is early, and the band isn’t due to start playing for another hour.
“You’ve done well here,” I tell Kaden.
“Too bad Dad can’t see it.”
“Fuck Dad,” I say. “Don’t let his bullshit bring you down.”
Kaden raises a brow. “You are in a bad mood.”
The arrival of our whiskey saves me from answering. Kaden empties half of his before giving me a questioning look, and I realize he isn’t going to let this slide.
“How bad do you have it for her?”
Jules is bending over the bar, giving me a perfect view of her jean-clad ass, and I can only imagine how sexy her tits look in that white halter top she’s wearing. I’m getting hard just thinking about running my hands over her bare shoulders.
“Pretty damn bad,” I finally admit, “and that makes me a shitty husband.” I won’t even go into how shitty of a wife Monica has turned out to be. Regardless of her behavior, there is no fucking excuse for what I feel for Jules.
“Has anything happened with her?”
“No.”
Not yet.
But if I dig deep enough, I know it’s inevitable. A person can only stare in the face of temptation for so long before giving in.
“Don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re human, just like the rest of us.”
“Don’t try to justify this, Kade. There’s no excuse for cheating.”
“You aren’t cheating. There’s a world of difference between wanting and doing. Trust me, you’ve got nothing to feel guilty about.”
I want to argue with him, but one of the barmaids interrupts us and tells Kaden he’s needed somewhere. Rising, he finishes off the amber liquid in his glass then sets it on the table.
“Duty calls. Try to have some fun, okay?”
A derisive laugh escapes me. The only fun I want to engage in involves Jules and my hard-as-fuck cock finding home between her legs.
Kaden disappears into the Friday night flock, and I empty my fourth drink of the night. No matter how much I try, I can’t tear my gaze from Jules. Her friends leave their perches at the bar, and I grit my teeth as Tattoo Guy grabs her shoulder again.
I’ve never felt so possessive over a woman. So insane with jealousy. The intensity of this desire coursing through me is stronger than my rage the night I first saw that photo of Monica.
I’m seriously losing my shit.
Jules wanders away from the bar, making her way to the edge of the dance floor, and I’m out of my seat and following her before I can talk myself out of it. I don’t think about the fact that I’m off-kilter and armed with whiskey. Extra vulnerable to the whims of stupidity.
There isn’t a thing in existence that has the power to keep me from touching her.