I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t overwhelmed by the future ahead.

My mind was in constant overdrive as I overthought everything but that was what I did best.

Some days, like this one, when my alarm went off at the crack of dawn, I would curl up on my side, tucking my knees to my chest as if to protect my heart from cracking any further but it never worked.

Instead, I would grow lost in memories or ensnared in scenarios that didn’t exist anywhere but in my mind.

There was a lot to consider, after all.

Could I do this? Did I want to?

The answer was yes, of course. The choice was obvious.

But the loneliness was devastating, especially on those cold winter mornings when I wanted to do little else but secure myself beneath the depth of the goose down duvet and forget about the rest of the world, at least for the short time I permitted myself.

The alarm tinkled again and I reluctantly shoved aside the matte mauve comforter, reaching for my cell phone to silence the bells.

Instinctively, I glanced to the right as if I expected someone to be there or at least to see a sunken imprint on the white pillowcase next to mine but it was only wishful thinking.

The time for that had passed now.

I stretched against the silk of my simple silk nightie and made my way to the ensuite bathroom, flicking on only the track lighting against the oval mirrors.

Everything was in its place as it always was, not even a stray splatter of toothpaste against the gleaming glass.

The order gave me a semblance of peace, as if my life had not been thrust into a whirlwind of chaos over the past five months.

When all falls apart around you, there is always cleaning, I thought wryly but I was more sad than amused.

My struggle to regain control was pathetic, not charming.

I turned on the shower, allowing the steam to fill the bathroom as I stared at my reflection.

Allowing my nightgown to fall to the floor, I studied my naked self carefully.

Nothing much had changed, not from a physical standpoint.

I still possessed the same fair prettiness I had before it had all begun.

My hair was still worn in its long layers, falling in a light blonde waterfall to hide the tops of my breasts demurely.

“You are like a painting of Eve in the garden of Eden. Pure and untouched by darkness,” Maya teased me once and in that instant, I could see her point.

I wish my only sins were eating the forbidden fruit, I mused. Although that is kind of what I did, isn’t it?

As the hot mist began to obstruct my personal scrutiny, I turned away but not before I caught the difference I felt in my soul so intensely.

There it was, in the depth of my once guileless blue eyes. I could see a wisdom there, a knowledge which I never imagined I would have ever acquired.

And with it, an unmistakable melancholy.

I pushed the morose thoughts from my mind and focused on scrubbing my body, scouring myself with my loofah as if I was trying to shed my old skin.

By the time I had finished, my flesh was fresh and smelling of vanilla and cocoa butter as if I had managed to become a new person in the twenty minutes I had spent crying in the shower.

I wrapped a thick, black terrycloth towel around my curvy frame, using another to make a turban for my dripping locks.

Making my way to the kitchen across my condo, I paused, cocking my head to the side.

Was someone knocking on the door?

I couldn’t make sense of it as it wasn’t even seven o’clock in the morning.

Yet as I stood, frozen, the gentle tap came again.

I sprinted into the bedroom to grab a velvet robe, draping it over myself as I hurried back toward the front door, tying the sash hastily.

“Who is it?” I called, my heart racing slightly.

“It’s me, Vyolet. Let me in.”

I blinked at the sound of Maya’s voice, throwing open the door to stare at her in dismay.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, my face growing unnaturally pale.

My sister peered at me from the threshold, her green eyes narrowing as she folded her arms across her ample chest.

From behind her, Yvette emerged and I swallowed the lump of panic in my throat.

“Is it Dad? Mom?” I croaked and my siblings shook their heads in unison.

“No,” Yvette said flatly. “It’s you.”

A new feeling of distress overcame me and I backed up slowly as they entered my condo without invitation.

“I don’t understand,” I murmured but it was a lie of course.

We were triplets. Our bond was stronger than the closest of sisters whether or not I liked it.

In that moment, I did not like it one bit.

“We know, Vy,” Maya sighed, flopping onto the suede sofa and tucking her dirty boots underneath her buttocks. “We need to hear it from you.”

I tried to hide my annoyance and maintain a look of innocence upon my face but I failed on both accounts.

“Maya, your shoes…” I murmured but they were having none of my subject change. They had come with a purpose and they were not leaving until they got what they came for: information.

“Vyolet, you need to tell us everything,” Yvette told me sternly. “You can’t avoid us forever.”

I gazed at the women in my living room, a small, sardonic smile crossing over my face.

They want to know everything, I laughed to myself. I wouldn’t even know where to start.

If I was to tell them everything, they would never believe it anyway.

How could they? It would go against everything they knew about their lily-white puritan sister.

The expression on their faces was identical and something told me that they knew it all anyway.

Or at least they believed they did.

I sighed heavily and collapsed into the armchair, burying my head in my hands.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” I whispered, my voice catching in my throat. It was as if the reality had finally caught up with me. Despite my painstaking attempts to keep the fantasy hidden, it was staring me in the face and no amount of hovering beneath the covers or scrubbing with pumice would alleviate the trouble I was in.

I slowly raised my head and sank back against the soft material of the chair, exhaling.

“Vyolet, let us help you,” Maya begged, seeing the expression of defeat on my face.

I shook my head and chuckled mirthlessly.

“You can’t help me,” I replied. “It’s already gone too far. I have crossed a line and there is no going back, not ever.”

They stared at me expectantly and I knew that I had to spit out the words.

The story needed to be told, no matter what the consequences now.

“Well,” I started, closing my eyes. “I guess you already know how it all started.”

“We know,” Maya sighed. “But you don’t know the entire story either.”

I looked at her sharply.

“What do you mean?” I demanded. “What don’t I know?”

Maya and Yvette exchanged a look and I felt a sweeping sense of dread float over me.

“You’ve been lied to, Vyolet.”

“I already know that!” I snapped, my face flushing red with anger. “I’ve been trying to come to terms with that for months.”

But Maya shook her head sadly.

“No, Vy,” she breathed. “It’s not what you think.”

She paused and stared at me, naked pain in her eyes.

“It was me who lied to you, not him.”

The words whirled around me like a snowstorm and I looked at my sister without understanding.

“What?” I whispered. “What are you saying?”

Maya lowered her green eyes in shame.

“Just what I said. Everything you think you know is a lie.”

The world seemed to slow as I gazed at my sisters.

My mind shifted to another time, a moment where betrayal was an abstract thought and I was confident in my every move.

Had there ever been such an era in my life?

Closing my eyes, I sank back into the chair and tried to let the memories overtake me far away from the living room where my life seemed to be falling apart once more.