I WAS PLAYING with fire, and I already knew I was going to get burned. Hell, I’d burned already in the car with her—died and gone to heaven before falling back into perdition. My body hardened under her kisses, my muscles aching for her touch. And I, the most controlled person I knew, lost it. All self-control flittered away, and all I could think about was thrusting my body against hers.
I wanted to be inside her, all around her—lose myself in her completely. I was prepared to show her everything Michael wasn’t in that moment… prepared to give over all of myself. Thoughts of ripping her panties from her body and pressing into her warm, wet heat rolled through my mind. It wasn’t until I felt the coolness of her wedding band against my cheek that reality slipped back in.
Married. She is married.
The word bounced around my head like a sharpened dagger piercing my conscious and effectively shocking me. I was an honest man. Always had been. I’d prided myself on my honesty all my life. Sleeping with a patient, a married one at that, wasn’t something I wanted to add to my bucket list.
Michael Aldridge was a bloody arse who didn’t deserve Samantha, but who was I to say what anyone else deserved? I was the outsider in that scenario, not him. And while I wasn’t very fond of the man, he was still her husband. He had been there first and evidently, something about him had made Samantha fall in love with him. I needed to remember that his position in her life deserved a tiny bit of respect.
Sure, he was sleeping with every woman he could get his hands on, but that was his demons to lie with, not mine. I wasn’t about to lower myself to his level by sleeping with his wife. No matter how badly I wanted to. Oh, I wanted to, and I wanted to blame the alcohol. Lord knew I’d had enough trying to drink away the way I was feeling for Samantha that night, but I knew what I was doing. I was aware enough to know it was wrong.
I went home that night with the plan to stay away from Samantha. She was my patient. There was no need to see her outside of my office. I even considered telling her that there would be no more procedures for her. Especially since the only procedure I wanted to perform was inserting my body into hers.
I spent Sunday avoiding my phone, which was unlike me since I was a doctor. I wasn’t on call considering my practice, but I always kept my phone close just in case. I knew if she texted me or called, I wouldn’t be able to resist, and I also knew if my phone was in my hand or near me, I was going to text or call her. I had to resist her. There was no other way.
MONDAY MORNING CAME, and I still hadn’t contacted her or heard from her. Honestly, I was making myself crazy just thinking about her. I couldn’t focus at work or my meeting with Dr. Stein. I’d ruined a perfectly good lab coat with ink, and I’d spilled coffee all over the rug in my office. My day was a mess and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't think of anything but her.
In the end, I canceled all my appointments and left the office as soon as possible. Going to Mama Maria’s, I ordered lunch and a chocolate ball, eating them with memories of our lunch together. When I pulled out my wallet to pay, the fortune I’d gotten on my first visit fell from my wallet, reminding me of what I wanted.
When I killed enough time sipping my water, I left to go see my favorite patients. I spent the ride over to St. Vincent’s replaying Samantha’s sweet noises repeatedly in my mind until I considered pulling over and relieving myself on the side of the road like a randy teenage boy.
Parking in my usual spot, I sat in my car for a bit. I needed to get my mind right before I went inside and put on a happy face for the kids. I wasn’t my usual talkative self with the nurses when I got the files I needed. They noticed. I could tell by the looks they gave each other. But none of them said anything, thankfully.
Looking over the notes from the night nurses, I checked on a few patients before going to visit Tori. My shoes tapped against the hospital floor as I made my way toward her room, but I stopped before stepping into her space when I heard Samantha’s voice.
She was inside, giggling with Tori about something, and her laugh filled me with a sense of happiness. Moving closer to the doorway, but still keeping from being seen, I listened as they talked. Leaning the back of my head against the wall, I smiled to myself as Tori asked awkward questions about things she couldn’t possibly understand.
“Do you like Dr. Roman?” Tori asked.
Samantha chuckled. I closed my eyes and envisioned her smile.
“I do like him very much. He’s a great friend,” she responded.
“Do you think he’s cute?” Tori asked, totally clueless to my situation.
Again, Samantha giggled, and I smiled secretly to myself.
“Well, Tori, I must admit, I think Dr. Roman is a very handsome man. Now, let’s finish this book, shall we?”
She thought I was handsome. Her words seem to make all my thoughts dissolve. There was only her.
I sat and listened as Samantha read a book to Tori. Every now and again, Tori would stop her and ask questions like a normal child her age, but something happened in that moment. Seeing her with Tori, hearing her talk to her the way she was and being so nice to the girl, it finalized everything for me.
I was falling for Samantha. Actually, I was pretty sure I’d already fallen. She was married, but she was perfect in every way possible. And there she was, meeting with my patients, ones close to my heart, when she didn’t have to. She was bringing light to other’s lives without being asked to.
Stopping a nurse, I pulled her to the side. “The lady in Tori’s room…how long has she been here?” I asked.
“Mrs. Aldridge?” the nurse asked with lowered brows.
I was shocked that she knew Samantha’s name. “Yes. Has she been here long?”
“Today no, but she comes by at least once a day to see the kids. They seem to love her.”
I nodded. “Thank you,” I said.
Something warm bloomed in my chest and spread through my body. Samantha Aldridge was perfect. She had no idea how much so.
It was time I faced facts. It was too late. I wasn’t sure how it happened, and God knew I hadn’t meant for it to, but I was in love with her. She did things to me—changed my way of thinking and feeling. She had pushed past my professional barriers and lavished me with feelings I never thought I’d have.
I could deny it as much as I wanted to, but I wanted her to be mine. I wanted to keep her tucked away safely from anyone who made her feel like she was less than wonderful. But the truth was a heartless wench who hurt. Samantha would never be mine. It wasn’t something that was ever going to happen, which meant heartbreak was inevitable.