I’d have a migraine soon if I didn’t stop beating my head against the desk.

“You promised me, James.” Her tears broke me.

I’d been trying to get to France since I left my parents’ house in August. However, the stars hadn’t aligned, and I’d done everything in my power to send the moon into retrograde. We’d been bombarded with new clients. The two investors we’d hired turned into four, and somehow, we still couldn’t keep up. I hadn’t been to Sideways Shots since I’d gotten home because I’d worked every waking moment in order to clear a few days in my schedule. Oddly, I hadn’t heard from any of the people at the bar either, but I guessed that was how the whole “casual” thing worked.

“You keep getting my hopes up only to tell me you can’t come. It’s not fair. Why can’t Neil make do without you for a few days?” Wails had turned to whimpers, and I couldn’t take it.

Every fiber of my being yearned to comfort her, hold her, kiss her forehead, and protect her. I couldn’t do shit from thirty-five hundred miles away, and she’d chosen that. That wasn’t a decision we’d made together or one I’d even been consulted on—even still, a little piece of me died every time she shed a tear of unhappiness.

“Baby…” I didn’t even care that it had slipped out. I was exhausted, there was most definitely a bruise forming on my forehead, and I still had another five hours of work at minimum before I could walk out the door. Glancing at the clock, I realized it was already four thirty and dropped my head again.

“I miss you, James. I want to see you. You promised you’d come.”

“Cora, sweetheart, I’m trying my best. I swear, I am. Did something happen today that has you so upset?”

“Yes.”

“Can you tell me what it was?”

“You delayed another trip.”

I couldn’t help the chuckle that formed in my chest and rose through my throat and out of my mouth. She was so fucking cute, and I was miserable without her. It had been over seventeen months since I’d seen her other than the picture that flashed on my screen when she called. She refused to FaceTime, declaring it heightened the anticipation of seeing each other in person. I bet she regretted that shit now.

“Why are you laughing?”

If I hadn’t known better, I would have sworn a five-year-old held the phone on the other end of the line. “I’m—hell, I don’t know.”

She sniffled, and I stifled the urge to laugh again when Neil popped his head in my office. I covered the phone when he didn’t leave. “Give me five.”

He nodded and walked off.

“Cora, you know I miss you, too. I promise, before I go home tonight, I will book a flight.”

“Non-refundable?”

I chuckled, “Yeah. Non-refundable.”

“Okay.”

“I have to go deal with Neil. I promise when we talk in the morning, I’ll have dates for you.”

With that pledge, I hung up and dealt with Neil and a hundred other fires that needed to be put out. By the time I pulled up flights, it was after ten, and I hadn’t eaten since noon. The last thing I wanted to do was think about traveling, but at the end of that grueling flight stood Cora—so I’d endure.

I’d told Neil what my plans were, and he agreed; I just had to go. There wasn’t going to be a break in the schedule, and there was no such thing as a good time. He knew how desperately I missed her, and I loved him for encouraging me.

Chelsea called in the midst of my travel planning, but I sent her to voicemail. My brain was too fried to do more than one thing at a time, and I had promised Cora I’d have an answer for her tomorrow. Chelsea would understand. Hell, she’d probably book it and set the itinerary for me if I told her what I was up against. She’d been bugging me for weeks about when I was going, but I’d put her off the same way I had Cora. She wanted me to be happy, and she chastised me regularly for not realigning my priorities. It was one of the things I appreciated most about her—she was selfless and wanted the best for those she knew.

I’d wondered if a friendship with another woman would ever work. I wasn’t sure anything platonic could really exist between two people, especially two people who’d had sex—albeit, very bad sex that we laughed about afterward—but sex nonetheless. However, she’d proven there was nothing else there, no ulterior motive, no desire to try to keep something going between us other than friendship. Even Cora’s skepticism over Chelsea waned the more she learned, until she’d started asking about Chelsea’s mom, Janie, and even Dottie. Then again, that was who Cora was, too—loving and nurturing.

I barely remembered driving home, much less getting into bed, but I couldn’t wait to call Cora. We’d made tentative plans more times than she’d let me forget, and until now, I’d yet to book a flight—this was set in stone. And I’d already started counting down.

“Hello?”

“Hey, babe.” I shouldn’t let the pet names flow so freely; however, they’d felt right last night, and she hadn’t stopped me or corrected it, so I was going with it.

“You’re awfully chipper this morning.”

“I made you a promise.”

“Do you have dates?” Her voice went from casual to animated in seconds.

“How about Christmas in Paris?”

“Seriously?”

“I bought the ticket last night, so I hope that works for you.”

“Non-refundable?”

I laughed heartily while I answered. “Yeah. So if you don’t want to see me, I either just wasted two grand, or I’m going to hang out with the pigeons in the park.”

“They like bread crumbs.”

“Are you feeding me to the birds?”

“Nah, but it does get cold here in December.”

“Like New York cold?”

“No, it’s not that brutal. Oh my God, James. I can’t believe I get to see you in—wait, what date are you actually arriving?”

“December twenty-second.”

“Eeep. How long do I get to keep you?”

I never thought those words would be so appealing or that I’d hear Cora squeal like a child.

“Forever if you’ll have me, but I fly back out on January second.”

“Ten days?” She totally skipped over forever. “Really? How will Neil breathe without you around to force air into his lungs?”

“I haven’t told him how long I’ll be gone.”

She erupted in laughter, and it was the greatest gift she’d ever given me—next to her love. “He’s going to Hulk out on you.”

“I doubt he’ll turn green and have muscles popping out everywhere. Plus, he encouraged me to go. He thinks it will be good for us.”

“How is having you gone good for Neil?” The way her voice dropped half an octave when she was confused brought a grin to my face. The nuances that were Cora were endless, and I missed every single one of them.

“Not good for him…good for us—me and you.” My laughter died, and I held my breath while waiting for her response.

“James…” My name was nothing more than a whisper on her lips.

I didn’t push it. I’d hinted at where my thoughts were—it was no secret I’d never wanted her to leave—and if flying to France didn’t prove to her I still loved her, then maybe my presence there would.

“So, promise me you’ll take some time off, and when I get there, you’ll show me around like a tourist. There’s only one place I’d like to go on New Year’s Eve, so leave that day open. Although, feel free to fill in the rest with whatever you want to do or see.”

Luckily, Cora didn’t ask what I had in mind, and instead, just prattled on about the places she’d meant to explore since she arrived but hadn’t been able to because of her work schedule. It wouldn’t matter if every one of them sucked; hearing her excitement made them appealing. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I could rekindle my love affair with Cora Chase in Paris, yet now that the opportunity had arisen, I couldn’t fathom a better place.

***

It wasn’t uncommon for Chelsea and me to play phone tag for a week at a time, still, she hadn’t read or responded to my texts in a couple of days. When I called today, I half expected to get her voicemail, but she picked up on the last ring. And immediately, I knew something wasn’t right.

“Chelsea, what’s wrong?”

There was a long pause, and her deep inhale wasn’t a sign of good things to come. Even though I didn’t want to pry, if something had happened to her mother, I should be there for her the way she always was for me. I couldn’t replace her mom—I could, however, keep her from feeling alone.

“My mom has pneumonia. I’m sorry I haven’t answered your calls. I’ve been in Tampa. I’m still here—well, at the hotel. Dottie stayed with her.”

“Pneumonia’s treatable, though, right?”

“For lots of people, yes. For someone with late-stage Huntingtons, it’s more likely a death sentence.”

Hearing her cry was almost as bad as listening to Cora. And in both cases, I wasn’t anywhere near able to help them or comfort them. Chelsea might as well be in Paris with Cora in terms of distance. I didn’t know anyone who’d lost a parent. The closest thing I’d ever experienced was Cora’s grandfather passing away, but they weren’t close, and she hadn’t even gone to the funeral because of school. I was in unchartered territory.

“I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?” There wasn’t; it just seemed right to offer.

“Tell me something good. I don’t want to think about this right now.”

I was hesitant to tell her I’d finally booked a flight to Paris. I hated to come across as insensitive—like I was gaining someone I loved while she lost the same. “Umm, I had an Egg McMuffin for breakfast, and they accidentally put two eggs on it.”

She giggled on the other end. “Not really what I had in mind, although I’m glad to hear you were able to complete the egg heist of the year from the golden arches.”

“It may not seem like much, but that extra protein put a pep in my step. They even upsized my coffee for the extended wait in the drive-thru.”

“What are you going to do with all that good fortune, Carp? You should go out and buy a lottery ticket right away. Luck like this doesn’t come along often.”

“I’ll get one for you while I’m at it.”

There was a slight lull, though nothing uncomfortable. I wondered if she was thinking about winning the lottery like I was and what she’d do with that kind of money. However, before I could ask, she shot out her own question.

“I wanted to talk to you about something.” We both said the words, almost verbatim, at the same time.

“You first,” she insisted.

I couldn’t imagine what she had to talk to me about, but her tone had been serious, and I wondered why she didn’t go first. Maybe it had to do with her mom and putting it off as long as possible was preferable.

“I finally booked a trip to Paris.” The words raced out as though I’d be burned with their touch if they lingered on my lips too long.

“Oh.”

That wasn’t the reaction I’d expected. Before I could say anything else, she spoke again.

“Carp, that’s wonderful. When are you going?” Her excitement didn’t seem genuine, but I couldn’t say for sure. She could have just been expecting something else.

“Not until the end of December. I’m going to spend New Year’s there.”

“That’s great. How long are you staying?”

“Ten days. You don’t sound interested; we can talk about this another time.” I tried to give her an out. I’m sure it was hard to be ecstatic for me with what she was dealing with in Florida.

“No, no. I’m sorry. I’m really excited for you. Are you going to make a list of things to do with Cora? You have to go to the Eiffel Tower at night.” Her tone changed instantly when I’d pointed out her indifference.

“Have you ever been?”

“Uh-uh, but it’s on my bucket list, and the pictures at night are stunning. So just in case I never get to go, you have to visit and tell me all about it.”

“I’m sure you’ll get to go. You’re young. Maybe you’ll honeymoon in Paris.” The moment the words slipped out, I regretted them. She didn’t even have any friends, much less dates that might evolve into a marriage. And I couldn’t imagine it was even something she was considering. “I’m sorry, Chelsea. That was insensitive.”

“It’s fine. I promise. I won’t always be waiting for my mom to die.” Something else hovered in her voice, but whatever it was, she didn’t say it.

The conversation stalled, and I felt awkward sitting with the phone to my ear when I remembered she’d had something to say.

“What was it you wanted to talk about?”

The moment she responded, I knew she was blowing me off. “Oh, nothing. It’s not important. Your news is way more interesting.”

I hadn’t mapped out the trip because Cora had places she picked to go, but I was excited to have someone to share my only plan with. I hadn’t even told Neil. However, Chelsea had been such an advocate of my relationship with Cora that I wanted her to be the first person to know that I intended to propose. And figured she might even be able to help me figure out what to do about the setting I’d never purchased and the best place to pop the question.

If she’d been shocked, she didn’t say it, or even hint at it. Her enthusiasm spurred my decision on. Chelsea was as much of a hopeless romantic as I was, and part of me thought her ideas were what she’d fanaticized her own proposal being. I couldn’t make that happen for her, although I could certainly work it into what I did for Cora. I hadn’t heard Chelsea this happy in all the times we’d talked.

She was genuinely excited for me and promised to keep her fingers crossed that Cora would say yes and finally come home. God, I hoped for the same thing.

***

“Are you sure you’re making the right decision?” Neil questioned everything I did in regard to Cora, likely because Hannah questioned everything I did in regard to Cora. However, he’d been sworn to secrecy about this, and if Cora found out, there was only one place it would have come from.

“Maybe not, but at least I won’t have any regrets. And Chelsea thinks it’s romantic, so I’m sure Cora will, too.”

“I’m not sure taking another woman’s advice on proposing is the best thing to do. Not to mention, spending thousands of dollars you can’t get back to ensure you don’t regret anything is asinine. You can propose after she comes home.”

“I had planned to propose before she ever left.”

“Yeah, but you haven’t been together in a year and a half. You aren’t dating. What if she turns you down?”

“I’m not thinking that way.” I couldn’t. Chelsea was convinced she’d say yes, and I was too. I had to believe Cora loved me and had only needed time to grow into who she was destined to become before she came back. She’d turned down Drake Halifax even after we’d broken up; that had to mean something—other than she wasn’t into rich old men.

“Dude, I get that Paris is like the City of Love or whatever, but this is reality, not some fairy-tale fantasy. Chelsea isn’t thinking about real life; she’s thinking about some twisted version of a romance novel. Cora doesn’t have a script she’s reading from; she’ll be reacting to your whim based on a life she’s lived for eighteen months without you.”

“Why can’t it be both?”

“Maybe it can, although I don’t think that’s realistic. I just don’t want to see you go through the breakup phase again. I wasn’t sure your liver or your dick were going to survive that the first time.”

“First of all, my dick was always securely wrapped, and secondly, just because I hung out at a bar didn’t mean I was mainlining tequila.”

He held his hands up in surrender. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

I had refused to consider rejection, unwilling to believe Cora was meant to be with anyone other than me. And Chelsea’s confidence meant more than Neil’s disbelief.

“Are you going to tell her what you’ve been up to while she’s been away?” The way his eyebrows rose irritated me—like I’d somehow maligned her because I’d gone out with other women.

“If she asks, I won’t lie. But am I going to volunteer information? No. That would be relationship suicide.”

“Hate to break it to you, man, but you’re not in a relationship with her. Just because you quit dicking around with other people doesn’t mean you’re committed.”

“I’m sure she’s been with other people while she’s been gone.” At least that’s what I told myself to keep my own guilt at bay.

“Yeah? Has she told you that?”

“Not in so many words. Why? Has she told Hannah something I should be aware of?”

“I’m not getting in the middle of this.”

“You’re absolutely smack dab in the center of it all because you tell your girlfriend everything I do.”

My assistant came and shut my office door when my voice rose enough for the rest of the staff to hear me.

“You never kept secrets from Cora. Why would you think things would be any different with Hannah?”

“I never told Cora your secrets.” And I hadn’t. Not that Neil had many, but I didn’t tell her about the financial problems he’d had when we first bought the business. I’d helped him cover them so he wouldn’t have to admit any of that to anyone.

“And I haven’t told Hannah yours. I may have talked to Hannah about my concerns with where your social life was headed when you were making stupid decisions because I was concerned for my best friend—not because I was a gossip train pulling into the station.”

Both of us had gotten far too worked up over something that should have been a happy occasion, one I needed his support in. Hell, even my dad had been ecstatic when I’d told him my plans—cautious, yet happy. Oddly, he had truly acted like a father since I left Geneva Key, one I wished I could spend more time with.

I lowered my voice to continue talking to him. “Neil, I’ve never loved anyone other than Cora Chase, regardless of what I did after she left. I haven’t been in another relationship or even considered one. I had a friend with benefits—who wasn’t really a friend, considering the day I stopped coming around, she disappeared—and Chelsea. Cora knows about Chelsea, even if she doesn’t know I had sex with her…once.” I emphasized the word to make sure Neil remembered it hadn’t been anything more than a bad decision. “But if Cora’s in a relationship, or you think there’s a reason besides separation that I need to be concerned about, then as my friend, I need you to tell me—even if you don’t give me the details.”

As he let out an exaggerated sigh, he ran his palm over his forehead, down his nose, and then dragged it through his hair. The pained expression on his face indicated a desire to unload, as well as confusion over whether or not he should.

“I don’t know a lot, Carp. I do know that she’s dated and none of them have worked out beyond one or two dinners.”

“But there’s something else you’re not telling me.” I let that hang in the air and waited. I wouldn’t push it. I never would have violated a trust Cora had put in me, and I didn’t expect him to do that to Hannah.

“She misses you. And she doesn’t believe she’ll ever be happy in France until she’s sure things with you are over.”

Over. While that one word replayed in my mind, Neil gave me the time to process it without speaking. I refused to believe things with Cora and me would ever be over.

“Are you saying I’m making this trip for Cora to determine she doesn’t love me anymore so she can move on?”

With his elbows on his knees, he cradled his head in his hands. I watched silently as he once again ran both sets of fingers through his hair to the back of his neck where he massaged the tension that had suddenly made him uncomfortable. When he finally made eye contact with me, he sat up. “Hannah thinks she’s trying to convince herself it’s over because you haven’t made any attempt to come after her. She also believes Cora will never love anyone else, the same way you won’t, and that once the two of you see each other again, the doubt will wash away. And that’s when Cora will come home.”

“This is all Hannah’s assumption, right? I mean, Cora hasn’t actually told her she doesn’t still love me?”

He shook his head. “No, she hasn’t. And I can tell you, if Hannah knew what your plans were, she’d be on board. She thinks like a chick—emotionally. She’d be on the crazy train with Chelsea. You need to be thinking rationally. And there is a fifty percent chance she will say no.”

The side of my mouth turned up in a cocky grin. “There’s a fifty percent chance she’ll say yes. And unless the odds tip out of my favor, I’m going forward with my plan. Why else would she have asked me to come to Paris? She could have asked Hannah if all she needed was a friend.”

“If you’re going to propose, I think you need to be upfront about what happened while she was gone. And she needs to offer you the same thing. The two of you have never had secrets, and it will eat at you until you give her the truth. Having it come to light after a wedding could be catastrophic.”

I couldn’t deny his point and hated that Neil had become a voice of reason. Yet I couldn’t imagine telling Cora I’d slept with anyone else, much less two other people. She wouldn’t care that it had been meaningless sex. Unless she’d had sex since moving to Paris, she would see it as betrayal—regardless of the fact she’d been the one who had left.

“And exactly how honest would you be?” As long as I had Neil looking out for my best interest, I might as well get the whole picture.

“Don’t give details. Cora won’t be able to forget them, even if she doesn’t hold it over your head. I would tell her you made some poor decisions after she left, and open the door to let her ask what she needs to know. Then protect her from shit that won’t benefit her in the long run. Transferring guilt from your shoulders to hers just to make yourself feel better won’t help her down the road.”

Luckily—or unluckily, I wasn’t sure which yet—there were lots of details I couldn’t give, even if she asked, because I’d been too intoxicated to remember them. The thought of divulging any of it to Cora made me sick to my stomach, but Neil was right. I’d never be able to live with the weight of remorse in the long run. I couldn’t risk that happening after marriage, which meant I’d have to risk it happening before.

He stood while I was still in thought, drawing me back to the present and out of my head.

“Just my advice—that shit needs to be done face-to-face, not over the phone. You’ll have more control over the situation if she can’t hang up. And don’t be surprised when it stings the hell out of her.”

I bobbed my head to acknowledge him while considering what he’d said. I’d have to tell her before New Year’s Eve. Neil opened the door yet stopped with his hand on the edge.

“Whatever happens, Carp, at least you’ll know when you come home whether it’s time to move on and let her go completely.”

“I just hope it doesn’t come to that.”

“Me too, bro. Me too.” He grimaced and then hesitantly turned around. After finally walking out, he pulled the handle with him and closed me off to the rest of the office.