Blake
CATCHING ME BY surprise, Kaity reached for my hand as we prepared to cross the street to the restaurant. Even though I’d only known this little girl for a few months, it seemed natural. Like she and her mother were meant to be a part of my life.
I’d hoped Cassidy would’ve opened up about her relationship with Kaity’s father, but so far she hadn’t even mentioned his name. I’d casually asked Brooke about him after we’d run into the girls at the diner, but she told me that it wasn’t her story to tell. Not wanting to arouse her already growing suspicions about us, I didn’t want to press any further.
All I’d determined, from Cassidy’s fear of commitment along with passing comments, was that he was no longer a part of their lives. I understood that sometimes a relationship between two people doesn’t last for whatever reason, but what I could never comprehend was how a father could abandon his child. I’d only been a father for two years, but in that space of time those two children had become my reason for being.
Walking into the diner, Kaity let go of my hand and ran to the booth the minute she spotted Maddy and Ben.
“Hi Maddy! Hi Ben!” she said, excitedly. “Oh, and hi people I don’t know!” she added, turning to look at my parents.
“Well, hello there, Darling. Do you have a name?” Mom asked before taking a sip of coffee.
“My name is Kaitlyn Carpenter. I’m almost five. I live at 134—,” she said, my mom stopping her before she could finish. I chuckled, remembering that was the same way she’d introduced herself to me several weeks earlier.
“Well it’s nice to meet you, Kaitlyn. My name is Penny and this is Dennis,” she said, pointing toward my father who had his head buried in the stock pages of the Times. “We’re Maddy and Ben’s grandma and grandpa.”
Kaity’s eyes widened before she responded enthusiastically. “Oh, I have a grandma and grandpa back home in Michigan. I call them Geema and Geepa! Can I call you Geema and Geepa too?”
Catching us both off guard, my mom looked at me for permission before answering Kaitlyn. Not knowing exactly how to respond, I nodded my head giving her my blessing. Admittedly, even though I was still Blake, I had thought about the idea of Kaitlyn calling me Dad in the future as well.
“I like the sound of that very much. What about you, Geepa?” she asked my dad.
“Uh huh, great,” he responded, putting the stocks down for a moment.
Kaity scooted into the booth to sit next to Maddy and my mother while I took a seat next to Ben and my dad.
“So, tell me about Kaitlyn’s mother,” my mother asked, getting right to the point.
“You never were one to ask the easy questions were you Mom?” I chuckled as a waitress walked up to our table.
“Are you ready to order, or would you like a few more minutes?” she asked, setting a pitcher of water on the table.
“I think we’re ready,” I said, always ordering the same item. “I’ll have the usual: three-egg omelet special with bacon and an English muffin, and two orders of waffles and sausage with three plates for the kids, please.”
My parents placed their orders, and I was once again left alone with Mom’s question lingering over us.
“So, who is she, Blake? She must be pretty important to you if you’re bringing her daughter along for a family breakfast,” she said, pointing toward the girls who were busily coloring on their place mats.
Exhaling deeply, I answered, “Her name is Cassidy Carpenter. I met her at Rich’s wedding. She’s Brooke’s, his wife’s, best friend.”
“Didn’t they get married months ago?” Mom asked, seemingly shocked that this was the first time she was hearing of this.
“It’s been a few months, yes,” I said. “We haven’t been seeing each other that long, though. Cass was hesitant at first. Truthfully, she still is.”
“Rightfully so,” my mother agreed.
“Mom, please. I don’t need the lecture. I’m over thirty. I think I know what’s best for me. You can stop mothering me.”
“I’ll always be your mom, Blake. It’s not something that you can just turn off. You’ll understand when Maddy and Ben are older and they start dating. You’ll want to lock them away in their rooms and never let them come out.”
“She’s good for me, Mom,” I said, trying to reassure her. “I know it. I just wish she knew it too.”
“So, she lives in Michigan then?” Mom asked.
“Yeah, she does,” I nodded.
“And, you’re OK with a long-distance relationship with this girl? Because she probably has a life there that she may not want to leave, Blake. And, you can’t be uprooting your kids, either. They’ve already been through so much.”
I sighed in relief when I noticed the waitress approaching our table once again. I didn’t have it in me to discuss my future living situation any further. Digging into my food, I said a silent prayer that my mother would just let it go–at least for now.
We’d made it through breakfast without any more discussion of my relationship status, only two dirty-diaper changes, and one spilled chocolate milk. All in all, I considered the morning quite a success. Reaching for the check, Mom swatted my hand away before I had a chance to pick it up.
“I got it,” she said, smiling. “It’s not every day that I get to treat my son and grandchildren to breakfast.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I said with a half-smile. “I know I don’t say it enough, but I really do appreciate everything you’ve both done especially since we lost Alyssa.”
“We know, Son. And, I’m sorry if I said too much about your new friend. I just worry about you is all. I just want you to be happy, and I don’t want to see you get hurt. Lord knows, you’ve already suffered through a lifetime of hurt.”
Swallowing back my emotion, I responded. “It’s been difficult, but, truth is, the day I met Cass, my days began to get a bit brighter.”
“Well, then, if she’s responsible for putting that smile back on my son’s face then that’s good enough for me. She’s definitely raised a terrific little girl,” she said, nodding toward Kaity who was now busily teaching Maddy how to play a game of tic-tac-toe.
“Yes, that she has,” I said, smiling.
Just as I was preparing to bundle the kids back into their snow gear so we could head to Central Park, my phone alerted me to an incoming text.
Cassidy: My meeting wasn’t actually as long as I was expecting. They were already familiar with my work, and we came to an agreement rather quickly! I’m ready for you to come and get me.
Blake: OK, we’re still at the restaurant. We’ll be there in a few minutes. Sit tight.
Cassidy: Oh! I don’t want to interrupt your time with your parents! I’ll just go and sit in the coffee shop that I noticed down the street.
McPherson’s. I knew the place well. Not wanting to set foot in there again, I had to keep Cass out of there, too.
Blake: Actually, we were just finishing up. Just wait in the lobby, and we’ll be there in five. You can go with us to the park.
Cassidy: OK, see you soon! :)
My parents helped get the kids fastened into their car seats, before saying our goodbyes.
“I hope I get to meet Cassidy soon, Son,” my mom said, giving me a kiss on the cheek.
“I hope so, too, Mom,” I said, pulling her in for an embrace.
“You know, Son, for what it’s worth, I know your mother thinks you may be moving too quickly, but you just can’t put a timetable on your life. If Cassidy makes you happy then we’re both happy for you,” my dad interjected.
“Thanks, Pops,” I said, patting him on the back. My father was a man of few words, but when he spoke I always listened. He’d always given me sound advice, and had always been there when my mom and I needed him. I’d always said that if I could be half the father that he’s been to my brother and me then I’d be doing a fine job.
Waving goodbye, I slid into my car, and pulled out into traffic.
Pulling up to the curb, I noticed Cass sitting on a park-style bench waiting for us–her bright pink coat sticking out like a sore thumb even in New York City. Beeping the horn, she turned in our direction.
“Hey, Beautiful, can we give you a lift?” I called out the window.
“Well, I don’t usually accept a ride from strangers, but you don’t look so dangerous,” she laughed, already walking toward the car.
“Only in the bedroom,” I mumbled, as she opened the passenger door.
“You really don’t ever stop, do you? I didn’t think it was possible, but I truly believe I’ve met my match in you,” she said, blushing when she thought about the words she’d spoken. “I mean . . .”
“Relax, Cass. I knew what you meant,” I insisted. “Now what do you all say we head to the park?”
“Sounds great to me,” she said, turning toward the back seat. “What do you kids think?”
“Yay!” the girls squealed, and Ben let out an excited cry.
“I think that’s an affirmative from the peanut gallery,” she laughed.
Taking over an empty bench, Cass and I watched as Kaity took control of the show and began teaching Maddy the how-to of snowman building. Luckily, the day had turned sunny and was getting warmer. Ben was comfortably sleeping beside me in his blanket-covered stroller.
At thirteen months, he hadn’t quite learned the art of walking yet. Maddy had been up and running around at ten months, but with Ben being a preemie, he was a bit behind his sister. The doctors were all pleased with his development though and I was sure that within no time he’d be up and chasing after his sister.
“Kaity really has seemed to take Maddy under her wing,” I said, watching as the girls began rolling two giant snowballs.
“Don’t get too carried away now. My daughter just likes having someone to boss around and Maddy is pretty much putty in her hands,” Cass laughed, shaking her head.
Keeping my eyes fixed on the girls, I also wanted to use this time to have a meaningful conversation with Cass. Instead of diving in right away with the hard questions, I thought I would take a softer approach and hope we could work our way up from there.
“So, tell me about your meeting? You signed the deal?”
“Yep,” she said. “Like I told you over text, they’d been following me for a while so it really wasn’t a hard sell.”
“That’s great! Anything interesting happen during your discussion?”
“No, not really. Thankfully, my little encounter before I’d even entered the building didn’t seem to have an effect. I felt so jittery, but it didn’t even seem like Mr. Curtis noticed.”
“What do you mean? Who did you run into?” I asked confusedly.
“Um,” she paused, seemingly hesitant to finish her story.
“Cass, please.”
Exhaling, she answered, “Steve’s sister.”
Shaking my head in confusion, “I still don’t understand. Who’s Steve?”
“My ex. Kaitlyn’s father,” she confessed.
Cocking my head, I continued. “But, I thought her father lived in Michigan? Why is his sister here?”
“Would you believe that she works in the same building? She said she moved to New York a few years ago,” she sighed.
“Does that mean that Steve is here too?” I asked, glancing toward the girls who had now moved on to collecting sticks for their snowman’s arms.
“I don’t know. I didn’t ask. I didn’t really want to know,” she said, balling her hands into tight fists.
“Did she ask about Kaitlyn?”
“No,” she nodded. “It didn’t seem like she knew anything about her. She noticed her in the car, but I just explained that we were friends and she was your daughter. I’m sorry I got you messed up in a lie, but I don’t really want him trying to come back into her life now. I know my little girl deserves a father, but he doesn’t deserve her. I hope that doesn’t sound too selfish of me. I’m just trying to protect her.”
“Cass,” I said, placing my hand on her shoulder. “I get it completely. I want to protect her too.” Biting the inside of her cheek, I could tell she was fighting back tears.
Taking the plunge, I asked her the question that had been lying heavily on my mind. “Why did he leave?”
“He left the day I found out I was pregnant. He found me hovered and heaving over the toilet. He called me a slut and told me I was going to get fat, and then he walked out of our lives. I haven’t seen him since,” she said, tears falling down her cheeks.
My hands tightening into fists, I wanted nothing more than to find the jackass and pound his face into a brick wall. Pulling Cass into my chest, I held her firmly for a few minutes until her tears began to subside.
“I’m sorry,” she said, wiping her face with the back of her hand. “This isn’t like me. But, seeing her today just brought it all back.”
“Don’t be sorry, Cass. Don’t ever be sorry around me,” I said, reassuringly.
“I’m just so scared,” she admitted. “What if he comes back? What if he wants to see her?”
Looking toward Kaity and then back to her mother, I made a promise to them both. “As long as I’m in your life, Steve won’t be a problem. I’ll make sure of it,” I vowed. In that moment, I wasn’t sure how I could possibly keep that promise, but I knew I needed to try–for all of us.