Kate stood in front of the fireplace, warming her fingers as Josh unloaded the car. He’d packed a cooler and several bags of groceries, along with a duffel bag of his own. He’d even remembered food for her dogs. Her heart clenched in a painful knot. What the hell were they doing in the Hamptons, as if they were about to have a cozy little vacation while her life fell apart?

Josh went out the back door and returned minutes later smelling of charcoal.

“Are you cooking?” she asked, incredulous.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.” He went into the kitchen and began to prepare a salad.

“It’s almost midnight.”

“So? You don’t sleep anyway, right?” He said it with a loose smile, and she drew back, her nostrils flaring.

“Dammit, Josh, what are we doing here?”

“We’re having a late dinner. And then we’re going to talk. If you don’t feel like talking, we can relax in the hot tub. Or take a walk on the beach. Then we’ll sleep. And if you have nightmares, we’ll get up and do it all again.”

“If?” Her voice wobbled, and she turned away.

His warm hands settled on her shoulders. “We stay here until these”—he pressed his thumbs into the massive knots of tension between her shoulder blades—“are gone.”

She shuddered.

“Kate.”

She tensed, turning slowly to face him.

His eyes burned into hers. “I care about you. A lot. And I’m here with you in this, okay?”

Her throat clenched painfully. It was maybe the best thing anyone had ever said to her. Josh wrapped his arms around her, encircling her with his warmth, his strength. She raised her eyes and threaded her fingers into the cotton of his sweater. His heart thumped against her fingertips. Her own pulse jumped in response.

Kiss me.

She tilted her face to his and closed her eyes. His lips brushed against hers, a gentle touch that reached all the way to her soul. She pressed closer, drinking him in as if she were lost in the desert and he was a mirage that might at any moment disappear. She needed his kiss, his touch. It warmed her blood, made her feel whole again. Desired. Safe. She opened her eyes.

His eyes had liquefied to gold in that familiar way that meant he wanted to rip the clothes from her body and make love to her until they both screamed with pleasure.

She ached for him, to be with him, to know he still wanted her even after…

She inhaled roughly as her body turned to ice.

He raised his head. His eyes flickered with the reflection of the fireplace behind her. “It doesn’t change anything. Not for me.”

She ducked her head, embarrassed at her reaction.

“Come on.” He led her into the kitchen and guided her to a chair. “Don’t want our supper to burn.”

Ben and Jerry followed, their nails clacking against the linoleum, and climbed into her lap. She held on to them while Josh went back outside.

A few minutes later, he returned carrying two big, juicy steaks and something wrapped in tin foil. He put the steaks on plates, unwrapped the foil, and doled out generous helpings of grilled asparagus, then placed a plate and a bowl of salad in front of her, followed moments later by a glass of water.

Hunger gurgled in her stomach. She tried to remember her last meal and failed. She must have eaten something before she left for the set this morning, but if she had, she couldn’t remember.

Josh sat across from her. He dug into his food with gusto, and after a moment, so did she. The steak was delicious, filling an empty ache inside her. When they’d both eaten their fill, he cleared the dishes from the table and turned to face her. “So what’s it going to be? Do you want to talk? Walk? Hot tub? Sleep?”

She watched his fingers as they drummed against the countertop. “Sleep…maybe.” Because she was just too tired for anything else.

He nodded. “Okay.”

She followed him down the hall into the master bedroom. Nature scenes in earth tones adorned cream-colored walls. A beige-patterned quilt covered the king-size bed. He went into the bathroom, and she changed into a pink tank top and matching shorts. Not the sexiest sleepwear she owned, but sexy didn’t feel right tonight. Exhausted and frustrated with herself, she crawled into bed, fidgeting with the edge of the quilt until Josh slipped in behind her. His arm came around her waist, pulling her flush with the warmth of his body.

Something inside her chest shook loose. His embrace settled her, anchored her in a way she’d never known possible. In his arms, she felt safe.

“The whole world knows.” She could barely hear her own voice.

“That’s exactly why we’re here.”

“I always wanted my mom to believe me, but really…I never wanted anyone else to know.”

“Did you ever talk to anyone about what happened?” His fingers stroked up and down her arm, warm and comforting and protective.

She shook her head. “Only you.”

“You should. I saw a therapist after Noelia died. It helped, more than I would have thought.”

She flinched. “You sound like Harry.”

“I’m in no position to preach. Lily practically had to drag me through the door of my first session. I’m just saying, don’t be afraid to ask for help, okay?”

“I don’t—I can’t—” Her throat was too dry, and the words got stuck. “I can’t talk about it. I can’t even think about it.”

He nestled his face against her neck, his breath warming the chill on her skin. “See, I’m pretty sure that’s not healthy. You should talk to someone, really.”

She shook her head, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end.

“You have nothing to be ashamed of, Kate. You were raped. You were just a child. You lost your home, your family, over something that wasn’t even slightly your fault.”

She blew out a breath, staring blankly into the darkened room. For so long, she’d tried to block it out of her mind, to pretend it hadn’t happened. She couldn’t do that anymore. The press wouldn’t let her. Neither would her conscience.

He brushed his hand over her cheek. “How many other girls out there do you think have been through something similar?”

“Too many,” she whispered.

“You’re a role model. You’re their role model. Show them that it’s okay.”

---

“You pretty much hate Christmas, don’t you?” Josh looked over at Kate as they walked. She wore a blue knit hat and scarf and a black coat, her cheeks flushed pink from the chilly morning air. Her sneakers crunched on the frozen sand.

Ben and Jerry ran ahead of them, chasing gulls through the surf, dressed in matching green sweaters.

She grimaced. “I do. I’m a total Grinch.”

“I don’t blame you.”

She looked up. “No?”

“Nah, I’d say you’re entitled to Grinch-hood.” Especially after what he’d seen the last few nights. Her night terrors were painful to witness. He could only imagine what they were like to experience firsthand.

“Thanks, you know, for this.” She jerked her head toward the beach before them.

“You’re welcome. The ocean always helps calm me down. Figured it might do the same for you.”

“It does. Why do you think I live in Malibu?”

“True.” But he hadn’t needed the reminder that she was technically a resident of California. That she was just visiting here in New York.

“I could listen to that sound for the rest of my life,” she said softly, then smiled. “Good thing we can still hear it from the house, though, because I’m freezing. I think it’s time to check out that hot tub.”

“No argument here.”

She whistled to Ben, and Jerry followed his brother’s lead as they headed toward the path leading from the beach to their cottage in the woods. They hadn’t seen a soul on their morning walk. It was as if the entire beach was theirs.

They walked in silence, not awkward, but the easy quiet of two people who no longer needed constant conversation. The kind of intimacy that lasted a lifetime…or so he hoped. He paused in the backyard to uncover the hot tub while Kate continued into the house with the dogs. By the time he caught up to her in the bedroom, she was wrapping a towel over a lavender-flowered bikini.

His body temperature ratcheted from chilly to boiling in an instant. He caught her hand and tugged her in for a kiss as heat and desire sizzled in the air between them. She pressed her body against his, her lips soft and demanding.

He needed this woman more than he needed air to breathe.

He lifted his head and grinned at her. She smiled back, her eyes sparkling with their usual sass and vigor, as if someone had just turned the light inside her back on for the first time in days.

“Hurry,” she said as she disentangled herself from him and headed outside.

He scrambled into his swim trunks, grabbed a towel of his own, and darted outside, cursing under his breath as the bitter wind whipped over his bare skin.

Kate watched in amusement from the hot tub. “It’s worth it.”

“Hell, yeah.” He sank against the back of the jetted seat opposite her. It was a little slice of heaven.

Her face was flushed and damp from the heat. Water swirled around her breasts, drawing his gaze to her cleavage as it pushed from the purple fabric of her bikini. A few stray snow flurries drifted over them. Kate opened her mouth and caught one on her tongue.

He sucked in a breath and held it. He and Kate must have the worst timing of any two people in the universe. Three months since they’d had sex. Three painful months of wanting her with an intensity that left him weak at the knees.

Getting into the hot tub with her had to be one of his dumbest decisions, because he would never take advantage of her while she was feeling vulnerable. He’d have made up an excuse to get out if he wasn’t damn near bursting the seams of his trunks.

No way she’d miss that.

On the other side of the tub, Kate watched him intently. She nibbled her lip and tilted her head to the side. His gaze fell to the tender skin of her neck, the pulse pounding in the hollow of her throat.

His cock surged inside his trunks. To call Kate sexy was to call Don Quixote “a good book.” She was luscious and exotic, yet sweet and generous.

In his eyes, she was a masterpiece.

Her toes brushed against his calf, and he jumped. Her eyes narrowed as her foot slid up his leg, stopping at his thigh.

Don’t stop.

His body ached, and his heart yearned for her with a strength that left him all but powerless. If things ended tomorrow, if she returned to Malibu without him, could he live with that? Right now, he didn’t care. He would do anything to ease her pain. His own could be dealt with later.

She slid closer. Her eyes held the soft, dewy look of desire. Beneath the frothing water, her hand brushed across the front of his shorts. His muscles tensed. She gripped the waistband of his trunks and yanked herself into his lap. Nothing in the world felt as right as Kate in his arms. He pulled her closer, dipping his head to hers. Her lips parted for him, and his tongue slipped into the heat of her mouth. She tasted so sweet, like lust and honey.

When she raised her eyes, the look on her face almost undid him. Amid the flush of desire, insecurity played over her features. She needed him to show her that he still wanted her, even knowing what had happened to her.

She felt damaged.

He could show her that she wasn’t.

He kissed her until her chest heaved with ragged breaths and her hips moved restlessly against his. He slid his hand down to stroke her through the thin fabric of her bikini bottom, and she gasped into his mouth.

He paused, meeting her eyes as he sought her permission.

“More,” she whispered.

He slid his hand inside her bikini. She arched into him, her skin pink from the heat of the water and the need he’d ignited inside her. He stroked her, urging her on as she writhed in his lap, her hips grinding against his.

“Please…” she whispered, and her breath caught.

“Tell me what you want.”

“This…you…” She thrust her hips against his hand. Her hair spilled over his shoulders as he took her right over the edge. She shattered with a moan, her head thrown back, then collapsed against his chest, her body limp and shaking. It was one of the most beautiful things he’d ever seen.

His arms tightened around her, holding her close. She pressed her lips against his bare chest, kissing her way up to his mouth. He had to get out of this hot tub before he spontaneously combusted from the feel of her hair on his chest, her tongue in his mouth. He drew her in for one last kiss, and her hips pressed against his cock, rocking against him in a pleasure that bordered excruciatingly with pain.

She shifted against him, and the lavender bikini bottom floated to the surface of the water.

He drew in a strangled breath. “Kate, are you sure? God knows how much I want you, but I won’t take advantage of you.”

She nodded, and he saw it again on her face…vulnerability. She needed this as much as he did. To feel normal. Loved.

Whole.

She gripped him through his trunks, and he groaned. Sweat beaded on his forehead. The heat in the tub might just give him a heart attack, if Kate’s feathery soft fingers didn’t do him in first.

She looked straight into his eyes as she slid his trunks over his hips, freeing him from the constraint of fabric. The hot, swirling water of the tub combined with the stroke of her fingers was the most erotic thing he’d ever felt. She leaned forward and captured his mouth while her hands continued their exquisite assault, and he felt his control slipping away.

He clutched the edge of the hot tub in white-knuckled desperation. “I’m going to come in your hands if you don’t stop.”

A wicked gleam danced in her eyes, and suddenly she was the Kate he’d known in September, confident and sexy and wild. She sank onto him, taking him deep inside her, and he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he would never again be complete without her.

---

Kate startled awake, her heart settling only when she saw Josh’s naked form sprawled across the bed beside her. Late-afternoon sun peeked in through the bedroom window, bathing him in a golden glow.

Tears welled in her eyes as she thought of what they’d shared in the hot tub, and later, here in bed. He’d filled her, satiated the need clawing inside her, made her feel whole again in a way she hadn’t been sure she ever would.

And goddammit, she’d fallen head over heels in love with him. The feelings had been growing, unwelcome and relentless, since they met in September. Today, he’d ripped the protective coating off her heart and pushed himself inside.

She was such an idiot. As if her life weren’t enough of a mess already, she’d gone and fallen in love with a man who couldn’t love her back. A man to whom she’d always be second best. A man unwilling to stand beside her in the public eye. She couldn’t live with that.

But he’d given her something precious, and she would take it and be thankful for every moment they’d had together.

Ben whined plaintively from the doorway, and she scowled at him. With a heavy sigh, she slid out of bed, wrapped a robe around herself, and padded down the hall to the living room to let them out.

While she watched them through the sliding glass door, she thumbed through the notifications on her phone. A dozen missed calls from Harry, even more from Vero, and several urgent texts from Jenn. She had to go home tonight. Reality beckoned, and anyway, her heart couldn’t handle another night here with Josh.

As if she’d summoned him with her thoughts, his arms slid around her waist. His lips grazed her neck and sent her pulse whirling.

“I have to get back,” she said, before she could lose her nerve.

“Okay.”

“Thank you, though, for this. You have no idea—” Her throat closed up.

He turned her toward him and covered her mouth with his. “Yes, I do.”

But he couldn’t…not really. Last night, when she got home from the set, she’d been spiraling into a darkness deeper than anything she’d ever experienced. Josh had thrown her a lifeline.

“How about I fix us a quick supper before we hit the road?” he said quietly.

She nodded, her throat too swollen with tears to speak. She retreated down the hall and enclosed herself in a hot shower, half-expecting him to join her but reluctantly relieved when he didn’t. She’d opened herself to him earlier, desperate for his touch in a way that went far past desire. He’d given her everything she’d asked for and then some. But she couldn’t take more, not without causing irreparable damage to her already torn heart.

An hour later, they were on the road. She texted Jenn to let her know when to expect her, then settled back against the seat and closed her eyes. The closer they got to New York City, the tighter the vise over her chest became until she could barely draw breath. She had to get out of New York, and fast. She needed to get home to Malibu.

If only that didn’t mean leaving Josh behind.

Josh’s Xterra gave them the advantage of slipping past the paparazzi into the garage beneath her building unnoticed. She trudged to the elevator as if shackles bound her ankles. Josh walked beside her, his hand in hers.

Upstairs, she shoved her key in the door, and it opened without resistance, already unlocked. Jenn stood in the hallway, her green eyes somber. Harry sat on the couch in the living room. Kate stopped in her tracks, and her stomach plummeted.

This was bad news. Very bad news.

She turned to Josh. “Looks like I have to take care of some business. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

Jenn glanced between them. “Actually, you might want him to stay.”

Kate tensed. What the hell was going on? But Josh was already guiding her toward the living room. He sat next to her on the love seat, his hand clasped over hers.

Cold fingers of dread knotted in her stomach as she glanced between Jenn and Harry. “Tell me.”

“It’s your mother,” Jenn said quietly. “She died last night.”