Kate pulled the door open. A hot, prickly sensation crawled up her neck as she met her mother’s blue eyes. They stood in silence for a moment, taking each other in.

Doreen’s white-blonde hair was short and heavily styled. She wore black leggings and a red tunic with a plunging neckline that was about two sizes too small. Still showing off her assets, even now. The stale odor of cigarettes clung to her like a shroud, and wrinkles lined her face. There was a pallor to her complexion, reminding Kate that she wasn’t well.

Kate had been just seventeen, her mother not yet forty, when they saw each other last. Doreen looked smaller…older. So much older. A painful lump swelled in Kate’s throat.

“Kate.” Doreen extended her arms as if to hug her. “It’s been such a long time.”

“Yes, it has.” Kate forced her feet to move, to step aside and allow her mother into her home. It was like telling birds to fly north for the winter.

“I could hardly believe it when that girl showed up last month, telling me she was Wade’s daughter, your sister. That he had died.”

Well, at least they had that in common. “You didn’t know about Lori?”

Doreen shook her head. “Wade and I didn’t exactly keep in touch.”

“Why are you here, Mom?”

“I want to see you, of course.” Doreen’s gaze slid past Kate to the room behind them, no doubt appraising her success. “You have no idea how worried I was all those years, wondering where you were and if you were okay.”

Her throat tightened. Was that true? Had her mother tried to get in touch and not known how to find her? “I always assumed you’d seen me on TV and knew who I was.”

Doreen waved a hand in front of herself with a laugh. “Well, you know how I am. I’m clueless about all that celebrity stuff. Of course, I’ve listened to your songs on the radio and heard people talk about Katherine Hayes, but I had no idea they were talking about my Katelyn.”

Katelyn Hathaway. The name brought goose bumps to Kate’s skin. She wasn’t that girl, not anymore.

“I still can’t believe it.” Doreen stepped forward and flung her arms around Kate.

Kate gave her a halfhearted hug before backing out of her embrace. “You disowned me.”

“Well, I was just so hurt. Jim was the love of my life, you know?”

Kate sucked in a breath. “If—” Her voice cracked, and she cleared her throat. “If you still believe that, then there’s nothing left for us to talk about.”

“Maybe I overreacted,” Doreen said with a wave of her hand. “I only ever really loved two men, you know. Wade and Jim. Wade left because he couldn’t handle being a father.”

Kate drew back. “So that’s my fault too?”

“Well, no, of course not, but it may have been part of why I reacted so strongly when I walked in on you and Jim.” Doreen gave her an imploring look. “But I forgive you now, Kate. It’s all water under the bridge.”

“I’m not the one who needs to be forgiven.” That hot, prickly sensation was back, crawling up her neck. Kate walked to the window in the living room, staring down at Central Park, choking on the knowledge that her mother still blamed her for what had happened. She tried to focus on the yellow cabs crawling by below the window, but her vision blurred.

“We’ve already wasted so many years,” Doreen said finally. “There I was, struggling to make ends meet, and you were living here in this penthouse…”

“It’s not a penthouse, and stop changing the subject. You disowned me. I needed you, and you turned your back on me.” She felt seventeen again, battered, broken, and abandoned. Tears burned her eyes, but she’d be damned if she’d let Doreen see her cry.

“How did you expect me to react?” Doreen’s voice rose. “I loved him.”

“Did he ever hold a gun to your head, Mom?” she whispered. The room fell so silent, she could hear her own pulse throbbing in her ears.

Doreen slapped her across the face, hard.

Kate’s vision flashed black. The sour smell of his sweat filled her nostrils. Her cheerleading skirt ripped, the sound echoing as it bounced around inside her skull. The bitter, metallic taste of blood. Vomit rose up and burned the back of her throat. Her cheek stung, and she focused on the pain, forcing the memories away, clamping them back into another part of her brain to be dealt with later.

“Don’t ever lay a hand on me again,” she whispered, curling her fingers against the desire to slap her mother back.

“Oh, spare me the theatrics. You always were an actress.”

Kate gulped deep breaths as she forced her stage face back in place. This was the Doreen she knew. This was the mean, spiteful woman she’d lived happily without for twelve years.

“Look, I didn’t come here to fight with you.” Doreen clasped her hands in front of herself. “I’m sick, Kate. I don’t know how much time I have left, but I don’t want to waste any more of it.”

Pain lanced through Kate’s chest. “Are you dying?”

“I don’t know.” Doreen looked past her to the window, real emotion contorting her features for the first time. “I’ve started radiation treatments, so we’ll have to see how it goes.”

“I’ll pay for whatever you need.” Kate felt detached from herself, as if she were listening to someone else speak. “I’ll make sure you’ve got the best doctors and care.”

“Oh, thank you. You have no idea what that means to me.” Tears streaked Doreen’s cheeks, although Kate suspected this was what she’d been after the whole time…money, and her own fifteen minutes of fame.

“All I ask in return is that you promise not to sell any stories about me to the tabloids.” This was what she and Harry had agreed on for their planned meeting with her mother on Tuesday.

“But I’ve already had some interest.” Doreen puffed out her chest. “They’re offering me big bucks.”

“No tabloids,” Kate repeated.

“Okay,” Doreen agreed with a sigh, “but the best doctors are here in New York, so you’ll need to put me up somewhere nice here in the city.”

“Fine.” Kate clenched her jaw. A headache began to pulse behind her right eye.

“Thank you. I really do appreciate you looking out for me like this.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I saw you’re dating someone new,” her mother said, her expression coy. “A mystery man.”

Kate kept her gaze cool and impartial despite the fact she was having increasing difficulty breathing. Doreen might as well have wrapped her scrawny hands around her neck and squeezed.

“Just remember what I’ve always said: nice men don’t fall in love with girls like us.”

As if she could ever forget.

---

Josh knocked on Kate’s door with a bag of sandwiches from Tony’s Deli in his hand, hoping she didn’t mind him showing up unexpectedly like this, but he’d been thinking about her ever since he got up and he couldn’t wait another damn minute to see her again.

She pulled the door open, wearing a yellow top and cream-colored skirt that hugged her curves, and his whole body went haywire at the sight of her. His heart started to race, and this funny feeling took hold of his stomach, like he’d just swallowed a bunch of fireworks and they were all detonating inside him in a fiery blast.

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in for a kiss, but almost as soon as his lips brushed hers, he realized something was wrong. She was tense—rigidly so—and her heart was pounding so hard, it seemed to shake her whole body. He lifted his head. “You okay?”

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, not quite meeting his eyes. “It’s just—”

“Well, if it isn’t Kate’s mystery man, in the flesh.” A woman walked up behind her, fixing him with an overbright smile. She was older than Kate, early fifties maybe, although there was a certain resemblance between them.

“Oh, sorry.” He glanced from Kate to the other woman. “I didn’t realize you had company.”

“No, it’s okay.” Kate reached out and grabbed his hand. There was a wild look in her eye, something that put him in mind of a cornered animal. Alarmed, he stepped closer to her.

“Doreen Hathaway.” The older woman stuck out her hand. “I’m Kate’s mother.”

Her mother. But Kate had told him she was estranged from her mother…

“Josh Randall.” He took her hand and shook.

“My mother was just leaving,” Kate said.

“Fine, fine. I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone. It was lovely meeting you, Josh. I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other again soon.” With a wave, Doreen swept from the room, closing the door behind her.

He took Kate’s hands in his. “You okay?” he asked again.

This time, she shook her head, sucking her bottom lip between her teeth. Her hands trembled, and there was a faraway look in her eyes.

“Your mom?” he asked gently.

“She just showed up…I just…I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“Fair enough.” He wrapped her in his arms and held her until the tension had leaked out of her body. She rested her head on his shoulder, and he kissed her hair. “I brought lunch.”

“You didn’t get sick of me yesterday?” She glanced up at him with a small smile.

“Hardly.” He tightened his arms around her. “And apparently, I didn’t scare you off with my geeky friends.”

“Apparently not.” She undid the top button of his polo and pressed a kiss to his throat.

The bag of sandwiches hit the floor with a dull thump.

Then they were kissing, and it was every bit as fiery and intense as it had been between them last night, maybe more so. She tugged his shirt over his head and ran her fingers over his chest. His hand slid up her thigh beneath her skirt. They tumbled onto the couch.

A seam ripped as he settled on top of her, and Kate went rigid beneath him. He rolled to his side. “What happened? Did I hurt you?”

She shook her head, her face pale, eyes glassy. “No, I’m fine.”

But she obviously wasn’t, and he had a nasty feeling that whatever had just gone down between her and her mother had a lot to do with her current condition. He rubbed her back while she pulled herself together. After a minute, she sat up and leaned against him. Her whole body was shaking.

“Jesus, Kate.” He tucked her against his chest.

“I’m okay. It’s just a m-migraine coming on.” She closed her eyes.

“I’m sorry. Can I do anything?”

“No, thanks. I just need to take a pill and lie down.” She stood, pressed a hand over her eyes, and sagged back onto the couch beside him.

---

The pain swept over her like a wave, swelling behind her eyes until she thought they might burst from the pressure. She sucked in a breath.

Josh held her close, where no doubt he could feel her shaking. “Let me help you.”

“My p-pills.” God, why couldn’t she stop stuttering?

“Where are they?” he asked softly.

“Upstairs, in the medicine cabinet.” She measured her breaths, counting to ten and back to keep herself under control. This shouldn’t be happening, after all these years. She hated feeling weak, hated herself for letting the memories creep back in after all this time.

“Kate.”

She jumped at the sound of Josh’s voice. Squinting up at him, she accepted the amber-colored bottle and glass of water he held toward her. She swallowed two pills and sank back against the couch. His arms slid beneath her, lifting her. She pressed her face against his shirt, blocking out the light. The next thing she knew, the silk sheets of her bed caressed her cheek.

“Better?” His voice was laced with concern.

“Mm-hmm.”

“Do you get them like this a lot?”

“What?” The cool silk felt so good against her flushed skin.

“Migraines?” His fingers brushed across her temple.

“Not usually this bad.” But this was what happened when she let herself remember…

Doreen. Jim. Fuck.

Josh pressed his fingers against the spot between her eyes that throbbed most viciously, and she flinched. His thumbs stroked her forehead, then moved to the outer corner of her eyes. Miraculously, the pain began to dissipate. She blew out a sigh of relief.

“Does that help?” he asked.

“Yes.”

His fingers swept over her throat, lingering for a moment on her neck. She lurched upright, a scream bursting on her tongue. It came out nothing but a strangled gasp. Her hands were on her throat, a protective reflex. She forced them to her sides and collapsed against the sheet.

He gave her hands a quick squeeze. “You okay?”

“Yes.” She squeezed her eyes shut against the dizzying resurgence of pain.

Josh repeated his magic on her temples, then moved down to massage her feet, focusing on a spot between her big toe and second toe. The anvil stabbing into her brain reduced to a butter knife.

“How did you do that?” Her voice was a whisper.

“I used to know someone who was a doctor. She learned some acupressure techniques in med school. I was always fascinated by it.”

She. Kate’s brain stumbled over that word, but she was too muddled to care. Not only had he soothed her pain, he’d somehow managed to calm the raging terror that had been about to consume her just minutes ago.

His lips brushed her forehead. “Better?”

“Yes.” So much better.

“Get some sleep.” He lay beside her, his hand on her arm, warm and comforting.

She closed her eyes, but she didn’t dare sleep. The nightmares today would be too real to stomach. Instead, she lay quietly, keeping her breaths slow and even. Josh had already seen so much more than he should have. He shouldn’t be here, not now. And yet, she couldn’t bring herself to ask him to leave.

---

Josh rode the elevator to the lobby, numb.

What the hell happened to you, Kate?

The way she’d reacted when he touched her neck…fuck. Had someone hurt her? Choked her? His chest felt uncomfortably tight.

What else had they done to her?

He stepped outside into the cool evening air and drew a deep breath, heading straight into Central Park. No subway tonight. He needed the air and the exercise to clear his head.

His phone rang from the back pocket of his jeans. He slid it out and smiled. “Hey, Mom.”

“Josh, how are you? We missed you yesterday.”

“Sorry, I was at Gabe’s big cookout. How did it go?” He felt a twinge of guilt for missing another one of his dad’s fundraising dinners, but he didn’t regret anything about last night. Hell, just thinking about what he and Kate had shared under the spell of the Spanish guitar nearly brought him to his knees.

“Wonderfully. He’s really picking up momentum. It would mean a lot if you could be at the next fundraiser.”

“I will be, Mom. Definitely.”

“Josh…” His mother’s voice dropped, and Josh felt the pit of his stomach squeeze again. “What’s going on with you and that pop singer?”

“Kate. Her name is Kate.” He sucked in a deep breath. “We’re dating.”

“Oh, honey, you know how happy it makes me to see you dating again. But this woman? I heard there are nude photos, and she smokes pot—”

“Mom, you know me better than that. Kate’s a great person. You’d like her.”

She sighed. “If you say so, I’m sure I would. It’s just, with your father’s campaign…well, it’s not the right time to have the family attached to any kind of scandal.”

“I know that, and we’ve agreed to keep my name out of the headlines.” And yet, the paparazzi had already managed to get several pictures of them together. How long until someone recognized him?

“I trust you, Josh, but be careful. You dating Katherine Hayes sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. I just don’t want to see you, or your father, get hurt.”

---

Kate’s condo was being set up for a photo shoot on Tuesday afternoon, so she and Josh jogged from her place to his. Her pre-tour exercise regime paired nicely with his triathlon training so that they worked out together whenever possible. They skirted through the park and exited at Ninety-Seventh Street, then down a block to his apartment on Ninety-Sixth.

Only three blocks from Central Park, the street was a busy combination of apartment buildings and local businesses, including a pet store called Claws and Paws, Mimi’s Market, and Taquería la Poblana, which according to Josh, sold the best tacos in town.

They stopped in front of an unassuming five-story brick building with a green awning over the entrance and the classic maze of fire escapes running like a metal grapevine up its side. This was the first time she’d been to Josh’s apartment. You could tell a lot about a person by the place they called home, and she was more than a little curious to see his.

He lived in a prewar building, with cream-colored walls, high ceilings rimmed with intricate crown molding, and parquet floors that were probably original to the building. The room was long and rectangular, with large windows at one end that brought in lots of natural light and revealed a glimpse of the tree-lined street below.

There was a small table with three chairs by the kitchen area, a brown leather couch situated along the wall across from a flat screen TV, and a king-size bed in the bedroom nook on the far side of the room.

“Great place,” she said. “It suits you.”

“How so?”

“Classic. Lots of history. Full of light.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Full of light?”

“With a few dark shadows in the corners.” She walked to the bookshelf, drawn by a row of family photos. The first photo was of a middle-aged couple who had to be his parents standing with a much younger Josh and a girl she assumed was his sister, Lily. Her gaze drifted to Josh’s father’s blue uniform and locked on the gun holstered at his hip. A chill prickled across her skin. Her throat tightened, and she rubbed a hand over it. “Your dad’s a cop?”

“Police chief now and running for mayor.” His voice swelled with pride. “Little town of Umbridge, Massachusetts.”

“Oh, wow.” She swallowed hard and turned her attention to the next picture. There was another photo of his parents, one of Lily and her husband, and at the end of the shelf, a picture of Josh with another woman. Kate stopped short in surprise. The woman in the photo was beautiful, with straight black hair and a warm, inviting smile. Josh’s arm rested across her shoulders in the intimate way of lovers.

Kate pointed to the photo. “Who’s this?”

His smile faded. “That’s Noelia. She was my fiancée.”

She chewed her lip. The idea of Josh keeping a photo of a former girlfriend in his living room left a bad taste in her mouth. “And she no longer is?”

He turned toward the window and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Noelia died two years ago.”

She reeled backward, slapping a hand over her mouth. “Oh my God.”

Josh kept his back to her, his shoulders tense.

So this is why he hasn’t been with anyone in two years. Holy hell.

She crossed the room and laid a hand on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

He accepted her touch, his expression distant. “She was in a car accident on the way home from her bridal shower. Drunk driver. They said she died instantly, never felt a thing.”

Kate tensed. She thought of her father, who died while driving under the influence. Her family, the drunks. His, the victims. She kept her hand on Josh’s shoulder. “That’s…that’s horrible.”

He turned, looking past Kate to the photo of his dead fiancée. “It’s okay.”

But it wasn’t. There was pain, so much pain etched into the lines of his face. His eyes glistened with it. Sadness rolled off him in tangible waves.

A lump grew in Kate’s throat, and she gulped it back. “Tell me about her. I mean, if you want to.” It was a ridiculous thing she was asking, for him to share his most painful secrets with her when she wouldn’t and couldn’t ever share hers with him.

“We met in high school. She came here as an exchange student from Spain.” A smile touched his lips, and he squeezed her hand as they walked to the couch.

“High school,” she repeated. “So, oh my God, am I the first person you’ve dated since you were a teenager?”

“That’s a fact.”

“Well, crap, no wonder you were so nervous on our first date.”

“Bingo. Yeah, I was a little off my game, and you were…well, you.”

She stiffened. “I acted like a hot-shot celebrity and made you feel like a schmuck.”

He managed a faint smile. “It was an interesting night.”

“Definitely memorable. Tell me more about Noelia. She was from Spain? What did she do for a living?”

Josh stared at his hands. “She moved here after high school, although we visited her family often. She was a doctor. A pediatrician. That’s why we waited so long to get married. Between med school, and her residency, and a fellowship in Philadelphia, our life together was just starting.”

Noelia. The woman who’d given him his love for all things Spanish. The doctor who’d taught him acupressure.

Kate wrapped her arms around him and held him for a long time. She felt as if she’d shrunk several inches in Noelia’s shadow. Perfect Noelia, her life dedicated to helping sick children and loving Josh. No wonder he was so turned off by Kate’s glitzy, shallow showbiz lifestyle. Tears swam in her eyes as she absorbed his pain. “I can’t imagine what that’s been like for you, not only losing Noelia, but the whole life you’d planned for yourself.”

He walked to the window. “I’ve been a bit of a hermit lately, I’m afraid. Lily and my mom were conspiring to start setting me up on blind dates.”

“So that’s why you agreed to no strings.” To get his family off his back about dating. She could barely swallow over the pain in her throat.

“Yes.” He stared at the photo of Noelia with such longing that Kate took a step back toward the door.

“You’re still in love with her.”

He didn’t answer at first, although the truth was written clearly on his face. Kate’s heart stumbled. Of course, he still loved Noelia. The real question was why she felt as if the air had been punched from her lungs, because love had never been a possibility for her and Josh.

Two weeks. Just sex.

“Yes,” he answered finally. “I’ve loved her since I was sixteen. Noelia was my soul mate. I don’t know if something like that comes along twice, you know?”

“Nice men don’t fall in love with girls like us.”

Her mother’s words echoed in her ears. It was one of the few things Doreen had been right about. And it was okay. Kate’s true love was the stage. That was why she kept all her relationships short-term and free of commitment. Obviously, it was for the best that she’d be leaving New York soon because right now, the only thing she could think was how it might feel if Josh looked at her the way he looked at Noelia, and that was a hell of a stupid, crazy thing to want.

He faced the window. “I guess I’m afraid anything else would just be settling for second best.”

Kate blinked, tucking her hands around her waist. “Right.”

He turned to her. “I’m sorry. That came out totally wrong. I didn’t mean—”

“No, it’s okay. I understand.”

“Really? Because—”

“Josh…it’s okay.”

He nodded. “What about you? Have you ever lost someone you loved?”

She looked away. “No.”

“What’s that they say? It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved. I don’t know. You tell me.”

“I’m definitely not the right person to answer that.”

His eyes settled on hers. “Why’s that?”

“I guess I’m just not a fall-in-love-and-get-married kind of girl.” And she would be smart to keep her own words in mind, because in a week and a half, she would be leaving New York, and Josh, behind.