Chapter Fifteen: Holden
I won’t lie. I was a nervous wreck as Wynn and I drove around town for an hour to give Jude and Lane a chance to get to know one another. That was never my original plan, to leave them alone so soon, but when Wynn suggested that we make ourselves scarce to give Jude time to form her own opinions of Lane, it just made sense. That’s one of the downsides of holding a doctorate in psychology. It’s hard to fight logic and common sense, even when your emotions are telling you to do so. I had to keep reminding myself, this was not about me. This was not about Wynn or Lane. It was about Jude. Whatever happened going forward was up to her. She was the one calling the shots.
“This is her decision, man,” Wynn said, sitting in the passenger seat with his phone in his hand, as if he had just read my mind. He was a big talker, but I could tell that he was a little on edge, too. He kept glancing at his phone every ten seconds, waiting for Lane to text with an update.
“I know it’s her decision,” I said, nearly barking at him. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m sorry. And you’re right. She doesn’t need to feel like we’re pressuring her in to anything because we are not. I just want her to be happy and enjoy herself. It’s up to her who she has sex with, not us.”
“That’s exactly right,” Wynn said with a single nod. He glanced sideways at me and prodded me with his elbow. “Still, it’s hard not to be protective of her, huh.”
I smiled and bobbed my head as I drove slowly through town, barely noticing the scenery around us. “Yeah, she is a very special girl.”
“Yes, she is,” Wynn said, sighing reverently. “Thanks for sharing her with me.”
“I’m not sure that was what happened,” I said, chuckling. “I’m pretty sure she’s the one actually driving this train. We’re just passengers on the Jude Express.”
“And what a ride it’s been,” he said, whistling through his teeth. “Man, this is a time I will never forget.”
“Make sure you tell Jude that,” I said.
“Don’t worry. I will.”
Then the conversation stalled as we both started thinking about our time with Jude. Wynn would be leaving in less than twenty-four hours. I couldn’t help but wonder if Jude and I would just go back to our lives before Wynn arrived or would things be different now. I still wasn’t sure how I felt about her, and I knew she wasn’t sure how she felt about me. We had both been adamant. No strings, no attachments, no commitments, no bullshit. When it stopped being fun for both of us, we would simply walk away. I hoped that bringing Wynn and now Lane into our relationship didn’t turn out to be a grave mistake.
We drove around town for another half an hour, doing our best to make small talk like two old pals just catching up. We talked about his life in California, about my life at Midwestern, and about the possibilities of writing a book together. We did our best to keep our minds off of Jude and Lane, and whatever they were doing back at my house. After a few more minutes, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I knew that Wynn trusted Lane explicitly, but I didn’t know him from Adam. But if Jude was uncomfortable about the situation, she certainly didn’t show it before we left.
I parked a block down the street from my house and put the car into gear without shutting it off. I stared at my little house at the end of the street. “What do you think’s going on in there?” I asked.
“I think they’re getting better acquainted,” Wynn said with a long breath, probably remembering his first time alone with Jude. He turned in the seat to face me. “You’re still worried about her, aren’t you?”
“This is all new to her, man,” I said, my fingers squeezing the steering wheel. “I know she’s having a great time and all. I just don’t want her to do anything that’s going to have a negative effect on her, now or into the future.”
“She’s a strong, independent woman,” Wynn said. “She seems to have her shit together. And she knows what she wants. I’m pretty sure we’re the ones being used here. You should be worried about us. Not her.”
We exchanged a quick smile. That would be about like Jude. We thought we were fucking her, but in truth, she was fucking us.
And enjoying every last second of it.
“Think we can go in now?” I asked.
“Hang on a second,” Wynn said, looking at the phone which had never left his hand. He sent Lane a text and held his breath. After a moment, Lane’s response came back. Wynn read it to me with a grin on his face.
“This is Jude on Lane’s phone. You guys cum join the party.” He wiggled the phone at me. “Cum… c-u-m.”
“Such a clever girl,” I said, putting the car into gear to pull slowly away from the curb.
Wynn tucked his phone inside his jacket and shook his head. “A very clever girl, indeed. An apparently, you’re right. She’s the one driving this train. We’re just along for the ride.”
“Well, hang on tight, my friend,” I said, pulling into my driveway and put the gear into park. “Because I think the train’s about to leave the station again.”