CHAPTER 8
Diana
“I’m sorry to bother you on such an important day, but can you possibly get me out of Rubare Virgina today?” I asked Princess Jessica as soon as she arrived at the door of my hotel.
I had no doubt she was answering an urgent summons that I’d requested through Theo. It was the anniversary of Rubare Virgina becoming a nation, and I was pretty sure I’d probably called her away from the important celebration. But I was desperate to get home, and I needed a royal ally to help me get there.
Jessica smiled at me as she stepped into my hotel room and closed the door. “Why so urgent?” she asked in a concerned voice. “Did something happen at home?”
“Yes…no…well, I really don’t know. This is personal,” I answered uncertainly.
How was I supposed to explain to her that I just couldn’t see Nic again? We’d both fallen asleep not long after the eye-opening sexual interlude we’d shared, and he’d had to leave early this morning to attend to his duties for the anniversary. I hadn’t been very wide awake when he’d asked me If I’d come to the festivities later, so I’d been noncommittal.
But even earlier in the morning, I’d known that I couldn’t see him again. I had no control when I was with him.
The pretty brunette princess—dressed in a formal gown that put my jeans and tank top to shame—took a moment before she spoke. “Is it Nic?” she asked hesitantly. “I know you’ve been going out with him.”
I nodded, tears springing to my eyes as I thought about last night and how much he meant to me. “I can’t see him again. I might give in and agree to marry him.”
“And that would be a bad thing?” Jessica questioned. “You don’t care about him?”
“I do. I love him. That’s why I need to go. He’s everything I could ever want, and more than I ever thought I’d find. I want to marry him, but I can’t.”
Princess Jessica look at me with a confused expression. “Why? I know he cares for you. His father thinks he’s ready to make his announcement.”
I shook my head. “He can’t. I’m not a virgin anymore.”
A secret smile lit on Jessica’s face. “I don’t think he’s going to care. I can tell you with certainty that you can become a princess even if you aren’t a virgin.”
“Maybe if nobody knew,” I agreed. “Maybe if I’d lost my virginity in the United States. But I gave it away here, Princess Jessica. The day I arrived on the night of the ball. Alex, the gentleman who introduced me to you that night at the ball was the man I chose to sleep with to get rid of my virginity. I don’t know for sure, but I’m fairly certain that he’s a Rubarean. He could out me at any time, and that would be humiliating for Nic.”
“Is there any possibility that you could be pregnant?” she asked in a hushed voice.
Oh, God. I’d never even considered that possibility since I had planned on insisting the taker of my virginity used protection, and I wasn’t in the fertile part of my cycle. “I’m not sure Princess Jessica. I hope not.”
Jessica sighed as she took a seat on my bed. “Please just call me Jessica. I’m still not used to titles. And yes, that could end up being a problem. But there must be some way to fix this.”
“The only way to fix it is for me to leave and for Nic to pick another bride. I was scheduled to fly out in the morning. But if I stay, I’m afraid Nic will find me since I didn’t attend the celebration today.” My heart skipped a beat at the thought of seeing Nic again.
“He will,” Jessica agreed. “The Demande men are relentless once they decide they want something. If he wants to marry you, he’ll pursue you to the ends of the Earth.”
“He does want to marry me. He asked me. But no matter how much I want to be with him, I can’t make him a laughing stock in his own country. He’d never be the same man. And then there’s the Arcano. What if they punish him for marrying a woman who wasn’t a virgin, and who slept with another Rubarean? And what if there’s any chance I could be pregnant? It wasn’t in a fertile time of my cycle, but I can’t remember whether or not he used a damn condom.” I was so frustrated with my own stupid actions that I wanted to cry.
“What possessed you to sleep with a man you’d just met at the ball? If you were a virgin, that doesn’t make any sense.”
I sighed. “A very bad plan and a ton of alcohol.”
I quickly explained to Jessica why I’d wanted to divest myself of my virginity.
The princess laughed, speaking only when she’d recovered. “It’s actually brilliant. If you weren’t saving it for some reason, it makes some kind of strange sense to rid yourself of what was holding you back from exploring the island. But it could also have been dangerous.”
I nodded. “I know. Luckily, Alex was a decent enough man. It was a crazy thing to do, but I can’t do anything about it now.”
“I can’t say I recognized him,” Jessica mused. “I remember meeting you at the ball, and you were flushed and happy. Unfortunately, your escort said very little. But blond men are unusual here. Maybe he isn’t Rubarean. Are you willing to take that chance?”
I shook my head. “I can’t. The chances are too good that he’s from the island. What else would he be doing here?”
“You said he was a nice guy,” Jessica said.
“He was. He was funny and nice. But I have no idea what he’ll do if I try to marry Nic. He could step forward out of loyalty.”
“I suppose he might,” Jessica acknowledged. “But are you willing to give up your future happiness on a possibility?”
“I am. It was stupidity that put me in this situation. It’s up to me to avoid any further damage. But I had no idea I’d even find Prince Nic tolerable. Turns out, he’s every woman’s dream.”
“He’s your dream because you two are perfect for each other,” Jessica replied. “And I think I’m going to hate myself for letting you get away from Nic.”
“It’s my choice,” I reminded her.
“I know. But I care about Nic,” Jessica answered. “I want him to find the right woman, and I’m rather afraid he already has found her.”
Tears flowed freely down my face. “But you know it can’t happen. You’re in love with your husband. Wouldn’t you sacrifice to see him stay safe?”
“Of course. I’d do anything to protect him and vice versa. He didn’t let me ride in the parade today because I just found out I’m pregnant,” Jessica said with a faraway look in her eyes.
“Congratulations,” I said sincerely.
She smiled at me. “Thanks. My husband and I are both excited, but I think he’ll drive me crazy with all the things he’ll royally forbid. He is starting to treat me like fragile glass because he knows I’m pregnant.”
“And do you obey?” I asked curiously.
“When I can. When I agree with him,” she answered. “If I don’t see the reason behind his decisions or orders, I make my feelings known very loudly to him. You can take the woman out of America, but you can’t take the American out of the woman. Ballasare and I have to compromise, but he’s also going to be the future king, so I know when I need to give in.”
“I suppose it’s different for your husband,” I observed. “Nic has a ton of responsibilities, but he doesn’t need to worry about being the future king.”
“Both of Ballasare’s brothers are completely loyal to Rubare Virgina, and they fulfill their duties well. Nic has always been extremely busy with the businesses. And his animals take up a lot of his time when he’s home.”
“He’s an incredible guy,” I answered, my voice shaky with remorse.
“So is his older brother,” Jessica answered. “I know Rubare Virgina seems like it’s in the dark ages, but I’ve been here long enough to know that it really isn’t. The people here are wonderful, the island has almost everything a person could want, and the citizens are genuinely happy. I know some of the traditions are crazy, but overall, I’ve come to love it here.”
“I think I could, too,” I said sadly. “It’s not like I have any real friends back in the States, and there’s only my mother now since my dad passed away before I left high school.”
“You don’t make friends easily?” Jessica questioned.
“Not usually. I’ve never fit in with my peers. They’re rich, just like me, and their wealth has decided their fates before they were born. Mine would have been decided too if I hadn’t rebelled. My father would have let me have my freedom if he was alive, but my mother can be difficult.”
“I had problems with acceptance myself,” Jessica shared. “I was way ahead of my classmates, and gifted. It didn’t bode well for friendships. I got mocked and teased. Nobody wanted to be friends with the freak.”
“I never would have known,” I told her truthfully. “You look like exactly what you are: a beautiful princess.”
“Believe me, my self-confidence is still challenged sometimes, but I don’t think about it much anymore. I’m accepted by my husband, his family, and the people of Rubare Virgina. But I understand what it’s like to never feel like you fit in.”
Jessica was the first woman I’d ever met who could lay her vulnerability out there on a platter, and I respected that. “Really, the people who already care are the ones who matter,” I said insightfully, finally starting to recognize that the people who made fun of my crazy eyes, my sad hair, and my body were bullies. They didn’t deserve my time to even consider what they thought.”
We were silent for a few moments before Jessica spoke again. “Are you sure you want to leave? I’d love it if you stayed. I think all of us would. Nic is going to incredibly unhappy.”
“Will it put you in a bad position with him?” I asked, not wanting to make Jessica’s life miserable, especially when she was pregnant.
“Maybe at first. I doubt I’ll tell him that I was an accomplice in getting you away from Rubare Virgina. Eventually, he might understand why you couldn’t stay. Have you ever told him the whole story?”
“No,” I admitted. “I feel like an idiot about my master plan right now.”
“Do you want to see him one last time before you go? I think you should. Maybe he’d be willing to risk humiliation if it meant you could be together.”
“I can’t risk it,” I said, sounding panicked.
“Okay then, let me see what I can work out,” Jessica said reluctantly as she reached in her small clutch purse to pull out her cell phone.
“I’ll get packed,” I announced flatly.
My heart ached so badly it nearly dropped me to my knees. I packed in a rush, tossing items into the suitcase without much thought.
I was leaving Rubare Virgina and the man I loved. Nothing else seemed important except my broken heart.