♫ Never Be the Same - Camila Cabello ♫
After my little chat with Suki and Ramsey regarding The Phantom Menace, I actually found myself ready to go to work on Monday morning.
I wanted to go to work.
It appeared that, my situation with Roman somehow trumped what Vic had done to me, and while I still wasn’t one-hundred percent—had no intention of seeing or speaking to him—that perpetual state of paranoia had vanished once more. The flashbacks had subsided to mild night terrors, too, ones I could handle and, overall, I hadn’t been dwelling on the sordid affair anymore, period.
That was new for me.
Really new for me.
I suffered years of trauma and PTSD after such harrowing occurrences, with no simple or instant fix along the way. Took several therapists, lots of medications, and overall time to even find a way to cope with it.
But this thing with Roman made it go away like nothing ever happened, which kept bringing me back to, were my girls right?
That’s exactly what I was dissecting to the final translucent thread when I pulled up to Black Widow and saw all my employees gathered outside.
It looked like damn riot.
What in the fuck?
All thoughts of Roman briskly fizzled away to the back of my mind as I eased into my usual spot and killed the engine, hopping out of the G Class at lightning speed.
“What the hell is going on?” I asked, throwing my door shut.
Dozens of heads snapped my way, a lot of them which proceeded to cower just from my tone alone.
“Power’s out,” said one of the packagers.
My brow quirked high in a perfect arch as I dragged my gaze his way. “The entire building?”
He nodded. “Every last room.”
“Did we check the breakers?” I hedged, turning my attention to the factory’s exterior for any clues.
“We flipped them three times,” he explained. “Nothing.”
Of course there was nothing.
Nothing, as usual, which meant one thing and one thing only.
Roman.
“I see. Thank you.” That was all I offered the man before stalking off to the front doors with anger swiftly bubbling in my gut.
I had it in my right mind to haul my ass over to Noir Coast and wring the bastard’s neck, give him a piece of my damn mind, but I’m sure that’s what he was he was expecting.
What he wanted.
And I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction this time.
Swiveling around on my toes, I cleared my throat and waited until I had the crowd’s undivided attention.
“Good morning.”
“Good morning,” they hummed.
“As you’re all fully aware already, the power is out, and it looks like this is something that’s going to take some time to resolve. Quite obviously that means some of you won’t be able to operate your usual stations, so I’m doubling you up to work on packaging. Once everything is packaged, you can go home—if the power hasn’t been restored by then, that is. Easy enough, yeah?”
A loud round of “Yes, ma’am” erupted around me, most of them nodding in agreement.
“Wonderful, then let’s get to work.” I smiled as genuinely as possible and tipped my head every so often as they all began filing in past me.
When the last few trickled in, I whipped out my phone and scrolled through my contacts for Roscoe’s number. The man was likely dead asleep but…he was basically all the help I had at the moment, aside from Ellie.
Me: Good morning. I hate to possibly wake you, but we have a problem. Roman was here at some point between last night and this morning. We have absolutely no power and, apparently, some of these guys already tried flipping the breakers before I arrived. It’s not a simple fix. I need someone out here to come take a look at it ASAP. Thank you in advance.
With the text delivered, I slipped my phone back into my purse and headed upstairs to my office, head held high—all seemingly calm, cool, and collected.
I was fuming, though, positively livid.
Burning.
Loathing every facet of what made up my acquaintance with Roman, and that visceral, overwhelming connection.
This mindset was good, how I needed to think at all times.
I welcomed it, embraced it with open arms.
Yes.
This is how things between Roman and I should be.
How they needed to stay.
Enemies.
Forever.
Anything else was unacceptable, a danger to well-being, to my sanity.
The past—though not vast—proved confronting him was pointless and, all the while, lethal, a deadly concoction of rage and unadulterated lust.
I had to stay away from him.
Wouldn’t be remotely easy, but I had to try.
My heart would never survive Roman King otherwise.
* * *
I failed, royally.
Despite being dead-set on not giving Roman the satisfaction of eliciting a reaction from me, I ended up doing just that anyway.
As the morning went on, the temperatures in the factory continued to rise, my office included. I was sweating bullets, could feel my hair protesting against the humidity, sticking to every inch of my damp skin. No doubt my make-up was smearing off, too.
By the time the electrician finally arrived, I was a hot mess.
Literally.
An irritable hot mess who went nuclear when said electrician explained all the wires had been snipped, thus confirming this would be a lengthy—and quite costly—process.
Right then, in that moment, denying Roman of what he so justly deserved suddenly seemed stupid.
What he needed was a taste of his own damn medicine. He wanted to get this petty?
No problem, I could do petty with damn eyes closed.
So I returned him the favor, sent hell right to his doors, and when the sun finally set just beyond the horizon, I raced like a bat out of hell to the Panorama.
I was already waiting on the rooftop beneath the full moon when Roman finally showed his face. I hadn’t been certain he’d actually show at all, but if his day was as trying as mine, he’d need an escape like he needed his next breath.
Leaned up against the glass ledge, I smiled inwardly when the metal door slammed shut on the other side of the roof.
If he hadn’t realized he wasn’t alone yet, he would be in three…
Two…
One…
“Well, well, well, look what we have here.” His voice boomed perfectly on cue, footsteps growing louder and louder as he approached.
“An indignant female,” I retorted, cutting my eyes to his approaching form.
Jesus Christ…
My jaw almost fell slack as he came closer into view. Thankfully, I was able to keep myself together and swallowed deeply instead, hoping like hell he hadn’t caught onto the blatant action. Tried as I might not to stare, though, my gaze moved of its own accord, following the defined lines of his tailored clothing.
He was all broad shoulders, built arms, and slim waist beneath them, and he looked…
Ugh, do I even have to say it?
You’re going to make me, aren’t you?
He looked… Well, he looked… Delicious.
There’s no other way to word it. He looked absolutely delicious, and more so than ever because he was actually wearing some color.
I’d never seen him in anything other than black.
The rusted ruby of his dress shirt brought out his eyes impossibly more, especially with the top two buttons undone.
No tie.
Just a peek of the colorful ink on his chest on display.
I was straight up gaping by the time he came to a full stop beside me, not a trace of anger or hostility anywhere to found.
The spell was thicker than ever this time, and we were caught tightly in its web.
“Indignant female, huh? Well, we seem to have a pissed off bloke, too,” he tossed back, leaning one arm on the ledge. “My day was rather…heated.”
“Funny, so was mine. Turns out some asshole snipped my electrical. Had to have it all rewired.”
“Wow, what a maggot,” he said sarcastically, shaking his head.
“Oh, he is—a total pest.” I bit back the smile that was trying to break free. “Alls good, though, I returned him the favor.”
Roman nodded and scoffed a laugh through his nose. “That you did.”
“If only he’d listen to me. He’d have spared himself a sample of hell.”
“I’ve told you this before… I’m not afraid to burn, pigeon. Been through hell and back more times than I can count.”
“As have I, but seriously, the power? You had to cut the power?” I asked, more inquisitively than anything else.
Shrugging, he turned into the ledge and leaned over, watching the cars below. “Set you back a day, right?”
“Unfortunately.”
“And there you go. So, yes, the power.” A genuine grin split across his face, and it wasn’t one of the evil ones he’d flashed me a time or two.
No.
This was a full-on, genuine, mega-watt smile, with a little sinister playing on the corners.
I had to look away, because if I didn’t…
“Why are you still here, Roman?” I inhaled a deep breath as I glazed over the booming city below us.
“Why do you keep asking me this question when you know what the answer will be?”
“Because I keep hoping you’ll take the hint and move on to the next place. Miami isn’t for you. Go pester some wanker in Chicago, or in Detroit, Boston, anywhere. Anywhere but here.”
“I told you that’s not happening, I’m not a man easily deterred.”
“I can see that,” I agreed, walking off a short distance.
I needed the space.
Needed to be out of his bubble. He was too close, and that was my weakness.
When he intimidated me most.
With how loud the city was, it wasn’t exactly quiet per se, but an awkward lull fell upon us. Neither one of us spoke for several minutes, allowing all different types of ideas and scenarios to play out in my mind.
“Why don’t you just get to know me?” Roman asked suddenly, rooting me to the ground beneath my feet.
Was he serious right now?
“Get to know you?” I spun in place, looking at him like he’d gone completely insane. “You’re joking, right?”
Roman shook his head. The expression on his face was entirely serious. “Not remotely. Get to know me, Lux. You’ll see I’m not a terror unless I have to be. Just a man trying to get ahead is all.”
“Yeah, off something I built. That’s not someone I want to know.”
“You might, if you knew the story behind it.”
“And that would be?” I hedged, clearly intrigued by his response.
But he shot me down, just like I should’ve expected.
“I can’t tell you. That’s part of getting to know me.”
“Well, that’s not what I came up here for, so I’m going to go ahead and pass,” I exhorted.
“What did you come up here for? And don’t state the obvious, because we both know damn well I’m not giving up that feat any time soon. I’ll play this game with you as long as you want, pigeon.”
My blood burned.
Him and that damned nickname.
It made me cringe every time. I hated it.
Shuffling over to him, I groaned profoundly to get my point across once and for all. “Can you please, for the love of all things fucking holy, stop calling me that?”
Rome chuckled. “You really hate it, don’t you?”
Blue eyes clung to me as I leaned over the ledge once more.
“Yes, please stop. Lux will suffice.”
“Tell me something about you and I will.”
And there went my body locking up again.
I couldn’t even look at him, completely thrown off by his asinine request. He really was insane. He had to be. After everything we’d been through and all we’d done to each other, how the hell could he stand there and ask me to share myself with him, like everything was all good and gravy?
Why?
Why would he want to know me anyway?
Didn’t he realize getting to know each other would only make our predicament more difficult? It was difficult enough as it is, for fucks sake.
“Lux,” Roman’s voice boomed through my internal struggle.
He didn’t call you pigeon…
Dragging my gaze to where he stood, I found that lopsided smirk awaiting me. The simple gesture was becoming too familiar, something I both expected—and wanted—to see.
“Stop scheming over there for five seconds and tell me. I’ll even make it easy for you. Just give me one thing. If there’s one thing the world should know about Lux Mercier, what should it be?”
“That she’s a tough bitch,” I said proudly.
“True, but that doesn’t count.”
“Why not?”
“Because the world already knows that. Gotta give me something better. More.”
This man...
“Flattery thing isn’t a good look on you, Roman. Stick to the plan.”
“That is part of the plan.” He waggled his eyebrows, the tip of his tongue caught between his teeth through a wicked grin.
Fuck, I liked that.
I’m not even going to try to deny it. I liked it, maybe a little too much, and he must’ve known it, too, because his grin slithered into that devious smile I knew all too well.
My insides twisted like a wrung tee.
“And no, I’m not telling you the plan,” he added, sliding closer to me.
He was so close, our arms brushed.
“Figures,” I scoffed.
“Stop averting—I’m still waiting on that one thing.”
“I wasn’t averting, you’re the one who—”
“Eh, eh, eh,” he chided, tapping the tip of my nose. “See? Averting.”
Ughhh.
He was maddening and I was cheesing. Me, cheesing, no holds barred! What in the actual fuck was he doing to me?
“You’re a pain in the ass, you know that?”
“Guilty, but you like it. Now, back to the question,” he pressed, shooting another groan out of me.
He really was relentless.
“You’re going to be the death of me.”
“Probably, but you’re averting again. The question, Lux, let’s go—tell me one thing the world should know about you.”
“That I don’t back down. Ever,” I blurted out, desperate to be freed from his ludicrous game of twenty-one questions.
My heart was suddenly hammering, spiking higher and higher as he leaned in toward me. Alarm bells sounded off, but fuck me if I could move.
I could barely breathe.
Too close. He was too close, like all up in my bubble close. I could feel him, all of him; his vibe, his warmth, his fucking everything in my bubble and I couldn’t fucking breathe.
“I knew that already, too, but I’m gonna let it slide this time. Next time, though, don’t give me some obvious bullshit answer, or I’ll pester you until I get the one I want.”
Something about his threat snapped my eyes up to his, and unbeknownst to me, it was a wrong move on my part.
A trap.
The second they fused together he was quick to hold on and not let go. That compel tattoo scripted over his eyebrow had never been more apt, because that’s exactly what he was doing to me.
I couldn’t look away, watching his every move. When his gazed dropped to my mouth, I was there, struggling not to squirm as his tongue lashed out across his bottom lip.
I felt it everywhere and no where all at once.
He inched a spec closer and I sucked in a heap of air, squeezing my eyes shut to save myself from falling deeper under his spell.
“Don’t do it, please” I whispered, because I knew what was coming.
I knew it with every fiber of my being.
“Hell yes I’m doing it,” he whispered back, lips hovering so tangibly against mine I could already feel their softness. “I have to. Been dying to. Let me.”
“Don’t.”
“Yes. Just relax. Those street rats can’t see us—it’s all good.”
“I know, but still, don’t…” I beseeched him.
If he did this—if I let him do this—nothing would ever be the same again.
“If I put my lips on yours right now, are you going to move?” he questioned, ever so softly clasping my chin between his fingers.
“N-no,” I admitted, breathing hitching.
“Then yes, I’m fucking do it. One taste, Lux. Quick and painless...”
“But deadly—”
And then he was kissing me, dragging me down further into his depraved rabbit hole of sin and temptation.
My brain screamed for me to get the hell out of there, and yet once again, I was helpless against him. This man had me stuck, melting into him as he kissed me with purpose, like his life depended on it. What was supposed to be one kiss, went on and on, building rapidly from gentle to urgent. His fingers speared into my hair, pulling me closer until I was trapped beneath him with no escape route in sight. The way his lips moved over mine was unlike anything I’d ever had the pleasure of experiencing before. He knew when to kiss, when to nibble, when to lick, intoxicating me beyond repair. I couldn’t control myself, opening wider as he sought out proper entrance into my mouth, his hands trailing along my body like we’d done this a million times before.
I was lost, so damn lost in this moment… Until a breathy moan bubbled in my throat and reality threw a bucket of ice water over my head.
Gasping, I pulled away from him, shaky hands flat on his hard chest to put some much needed space between us.
“I’ve gotta go,” I said in a rush, scrambling to get around him on jelly-like legs.
“Lux.” He tried reaching out for me, but I was too quick. “Lux, don’t go.”
“I have to,” I called out over my shoulder, nervously booking it to the door.
What have I done? What the hell have I done?