Once they arrived back at Hawkins ranch, Mae turned Wesley over to Elma and rushed to her bedroom.

Collapsing on the bed, she fought to bring her breathing under control. After several long shaky breaths, she closed her eyes and put her face in her hands.

Joshua waited for her in the front room, and she had to face him. Spend time with him.

She splashed water on her face and brushed the windblown strands into a semblance of order. After she assessed her appearance, Mae went to the front room.

Joshua stood when she entered, his shy smile warmed her. And when he reached for her elbow to assist her to sit, she found herself faltering.

He shook his head. "It's strange. I grew up in this house, but it looks so different since you've moved into it. It's brighter or something. I feel more like a guest when I am in this room."

While he looked around, Mae studied him. He was pleasant, about the same height as John, but with a more husky build. She wondered why he'd not married. "Why have you not married Joshua?"

He shrugged. "I've been so busy with my lands and helping Uncle Joe out the last few years. It’s rare I have time to venture into town. If you notice, there aren't many women out here."

"I can see that." Mae replied with a smile.

"More surprising to me is you not married already."

The time to divulge why she'd remained single. The words began to form and her heartbeat quickened. "I'm not the type of woman respectable men marry Joshua. You see my business back in Virginia is not reputable. Miss Lady and I run a brothel. I am a madam."

Other than a slight frown and cock of his head to the side, Joshua did not seemed at all perturbed by her revelation. "It's strange I never considered what your business was. Not until Miss Lady and Lucinda arrived. The younger woman with her bright clothing and walk made me wonder."

"Well now you understand why I remain single." Mae looked at him relieved at the lack of judgment in his regard of her.

"What you just told me changes nothing." A slight curve of his lips took her attention. "I would like to get to know you better Mae. He hesitated. "I hope I'm not being too forward, as I don't know the nature of your relationship with John McClain."

"He...he cannot get past my background. Perhaps the fact his men frequented my establishment has tarnished his opinion of me."

"Then he's a fool," Joshua neared and took her hand. "Allow me the opportunity. I've wanted a wife and children for so long, yet never thought it would be."

Mae met his eyes. Such kindness, he deserved a woman's entire heart and she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to give him that. "I will consider it. Please allow me time to think about it."

Joshua raised her hand to his lips and placed a kiss on her knuckles. "I better go, have much to do. I will return on Sunday, if you permit me to accompany you to church."

After Joshua left, Mae remained seated, not sure what to think or do.

What was she doing? Could she possibly marry Joshua? She'd made it past the obstacle of disclosing to him her past and dealing with the possibility of his rejection. He'd proven to be a sensible man who approached each day with quiet acceptance.

If only John would look at her in such a manner. No matter what the man said or attempted to say, she knew the truth behind his inability to forge a relationship with her. He simply could not get past the fact she'd spent her entire life until recently in a brothel. And truth be told, it was for the best. If they'd stayed together, she would be forced to live with the constant shadow of his disapproval, and after years, it would be exhausting.

A husband, now she found herself in need of one. The thought made her chuckle. In Virginia she could remain without a partner, live out her life in the large white house in the outskirts of town. But here in Texas, a woman needed a man. Protection was as much a need as the air in the still untamed part of the country, and she should marry if she was to remain.

She'd speak to Joshua and forge an agreement to marry once they got to know each other better. She'd force John from her heart.

The decision was made. She'd remain in Texas. To be far from Wesley was no longer an option. Her already broken heart would crumble to a thousand pieces if she could not see him. That alone would fortify her strength to remove John McClain from her heart.

Joshua had alluded to other children. Yes, she'd have a family and love them, but Wesley would remain imbedded in her heart, to not be displaced by any other child.

She touched her lips and thought about the hunger in John's kiss. From now on she'd avoid being alone with him. Until John hired the caregiver, she'd send him to visit his father with Alan and Elma.

It was only fair if she ever agreed to marry Joshua that she give him the respect due a husband. Mae lowered to her knees and bent her head in prayer. "God please take John out of my heart. Replace the deep love I have for him with love for you and my future husband. I want to be a good wife. Take this piercing pain away each time I think of John." A single tear slid down her cheek unabated.

A knock on the door followed by Miss Lady's voice brought her to the present. "Come join me for tea girl. We haven't talked about your plans for the house in Virginia."

"I'll be right there Miss Lady," Mae replied forcing a light tone.