"It's not a good idea Mae. You are not thinking clearly," Patty's grim eyes scanned Mae's face as if looking for a clue to what she thought at the moment. The Jacobs' had come to visit and Mae was glad to see her friend. It gave her the chance to talk to her about her impending departure.

"I have to." Mae remained stubbornly adamant about returning to Virginia. Even after talking to Miss Lady and the woman refusing to return with her. Mae was sure she'd end up convincing her.

"What about Wesley? Surely you won't leave the child. He sees you as his mother." Patty pressed on.

"I am not his mother. The sooner I leave, the easier for him to accept whoever John marries. He told me he planned to go to town. I'm sure it's to hire Wesley's caregiver. The woman will be living with them, things will happen. I can't stand to be around to see it. Understand me Patty."

Patty slapped her hand on the tabletop and Mae jumped. "He is not marrying anyone. The man is in love with you. If only the both of you would stop being so stubborn, you'd realize you're made for each other."

"Bah!" Mae stood and went to rinse her cup. "Would you like to go for a walk?" She looked towards the living room. "Where is Ryan?"

"He's in the barn, speaking to Alan about an unruly horse we bought. Alan is the best man to get information about breaking a horse."

"Come," Patty slipped her arm through Mae's. "Lets take advantage of this spare time. Miss Lady and Wesley are asleep."

The afternoon was brisk, a bird flew overhead and Mae watched it land in a nest and begin to feed the chicks in its nest. "It's a beautiful day. I am going to miss this. The space, the land..."

"Then don't leave," Patty finished for her. "Give it time Mae. I suggest you speak to John and ask him what his plans are, what he feels." Patty's eyes went past her. "Ah there he is now."

Mae's stomach pitched when spotting John nearing. In a worn blue shirt tucked into his pants, his wide shoulders and slim hips were emphasized. The picture of them in his bed assailed her, and Mae felt herself redden. She began to babble, her nerves taking control. "I wasn't aware he was here. I'm sure he's here to see Wesley. I shouldn't be alone with him. I can't resist his touch. I'm not strong enough."

"Well, you should remain strong against it," Patty replied lightly. "I understand the need of being with a man, but in this case, I believe it would be beneficial to wait."

"Wait?" Mae frowned. "I am never going to be with him again Patty. It's not right I understand it believe me. Plus it will only make it harder for me when I leave."

"Um hmm," Patty replied before turning to John. "Good afternoon John. I was just about to go see where Ryan's gotten off to. I'll see you both in a little while."

John's gray eyes met Patty's briefly before going to Mae. "How are you Miss Patty?"

The woman smiled at him. "I'm well." She walked away, and neither of them spoke. Mae braced herself for whatever John was about to tell her. No doubt he'd hired someone to care for Wesley and came to inform her he came to take Wesley with him. When she felt strong enough, she met his gaze.

"Why do you seem afraid of me?" John's brows drew together. "Are you angry with me?"

"N-No, of course not," Mae stuttered. "Wesley is napping now, but he should awaken shortly. Would you like to come in for coffee?"

"I came to see you." The words vibrated through her and she took a breath. "I haven't seen you in days. The last time I came to see Wesley, only Elma was about. Then it was she and Alan who brought him to see me." He reached for her and then let his hand fall. "It seems you are avoiding me."

Mae inhaled and tore her eyes away from his darkened ones. "I find it best to keep a distance between us. You have to admit, it will make it easier once I leave."

"Easier?" He asked. "For you or for me?"

"Both of course," Mae told him and took a step back. "It's not right John. But it's hard for me to resist reaching for you when near you. My feelings are too strong, I desire you, want to touch you and be touched by you."

His breathing hitched at her words. "I feel the same way. It's what I came to talk to you about."

The rising and lowering of his chest mesmerized her and Mae could only wait breath held. Did he come to ask her to be his lover?

"I am in love with you Mae. Marry me."

Her heart stopped at the words. But what shook her was the earnest expression on his face. He waited for her to respond with ill concealed trepidation, his body tight and leaning just a bit forward.

"I can't." Mae refused to meet his eyes; instead she focused past his left shoulder to where cattle grazed. "I believe you love me. But I also know you cannot get beyond my past. It will always be hard for you."

"I've come to grips with it Mae and..."

"No you have not," Mae interrupted him. "What will happen when the first man comes along who knows about me, and everyone in town becomes aware of my past? What will you do then? Will you be able to walk beside me with you head held high?"

"The loss of my leg is what made me falter more than anything Mae. The fact is I'm the one who doesn't deserve you. I am sure you warrant a full, able-bodied man to be your husband. But the idea of anyone with you makes my blood boil. It made me realize I needed to take a chance."

Mae could only stare at him agog.

"Come with me." He took her elbow and steered her toward the house. "I will not accept no for an answer."

Soon they were riding away from the ranch on the front bench of the same wagon they'd rode from Virginia on. A stoic John beside her, Mae slid glances to him from the corner of her eye. "Where are we going?" The rambling road soon turned to a more open space and she took in the scenery. They did not head towards town but away from it and in the direction of where they'd come from so many months ago.

"Look." John pointed to a huge eagle flying overhead.

"He's beautiful," Mae replied as the bird swooped and gracefully lifted again toward the sky. "Where are you taking me John?"

"To a place where you'll accept my proposal."

"What?" She placed her hand on his arm and he faced her. Her eyes drank in his features before she could speak again. "I don't understand."

The sun was setting when they finally stopped at a familiar clearing. She climbed from the wagon and walked toward the cusp of trees near the shallow stream where they'd stopped and refreshed during their trek westbound. Without speaking, John joined her, and they walked side-by-side for a few minutes.

Mae inhaled deeply of the fresh pine air and closed her eyes imagining the day they'd been here. She didn't quite understand the significance of returning, for nothing memorable had happened here.

"The day we stopped here, we took a walk to this exact spot. You did your best to keep your distance from me, just like you are now. But I took your hand and pulled you closer beside me to walk." John voice remained even and calm and Mae found herself wondering what he'd say next.

He smiled as if reading her thoughts. "We didn't speak of much. As a matter of fact, you spent most of the time looking at flowers sprouting from between the trees. Those violet ones there." He pointed at a small crop of brilliant foliage.

Mae stepped away from him and leaned to peer at the blooms. "They are so beautiful, are they not?"

"Yes," he replied, but his eyes were on her.

Mae reached for several of the blooms and picked them. She lifted them to her face and inhaled the soft perfume. "I'm sorry, but I am not sure I remember this place; it was one of many along the way."

She looked around when noticing John's rare smile. "Unlike you, I remember it vividly because a realization came to me, and I became so angry I could barely stand it. I knew we were very close to our destination, and I pledged to leave you with your father, find Wesley and after having my leg removed, head further west. The plan was never to see you again, and I could not wait to follow through."

"I don't understand. Why were you angry?"

John took her hand and lifted it to his lips. The soft kiss on her knuckles sent a shiver down her arm. "Because I'd fallen in love with you, and I was blindsided. Surprised such a thing happened to me. I'd always been in control of my emotions, until spending time with you. No matter what I did, where I went and thought about, you were forever present foremost."

"I didn't know." Mae pulled her hand away. "Now I understand why you barely said a word when you left me at my father's ranch. Why are you telling me all this now?"

"Because you need to understand how much you mean to me. Yes I admit, I tried to fight against it, convinced myself that I could move on. But it’s not true. I recognize it now." John took her hands in his and knelt before her.

"Accept me Mae. I can only offer you what I am now a man with little to offer other than my heart. I will be proud to be your husband if you allow me to be such."

Could she do it? To marry him would put not just John in danger of social disgrace, but also Wesley.

As if reading her thoughts, John reached for her other hand and looked into her eyes. "It's different here Mae. Everyone comes here to find a new life, and your past is not as important here. Say yes."

Gravity pulled her forward so that she felt as if she was about to step off a cliff to fall into the unknown, but it felt good. Freeing.

Mae nodded, and her lips lifted into a wide smile. "I love you John. I can't bear the thought of a future without you and Wesley. I've been terrified actually." She took a deep breath. "Yes, John McClain, I will marry you."

Before she could say another word, he stood and pulled her into an embrace turning in a full circle until she became dizzy. His laughter rang over the trees and hers joined it.

"Put me down," Mae laughed and then wobbled when he placed her on her feet. "Kiss me John."

His lips covered her, the kiss tentative at first, but then becoming heated when she wrapped her hands around his neck.

John's hand slid down her back, and he pulled her against him. Soon their breathing became harsher the kiss more demanding. Mae planted her palms on his chest and pushed away gently while looking up at him. "I'd like to wait until we're married before being intimate again."

He nodded and kissed the tip of her nose. "I agree."

"When would you like to plan our marriage for?" Mae took his hand and led him back toward the wagon.

"How about today?"

"Oh John." She nudged him with her elbow. "I'm serious."

"So am I."

Mae sighed, happiness engulfed her and the surrounding area seemed colorful, richer. "Why did you bring me here?"

"Because I wanted you to understand I've loved you for a long while."

"We were both heading west not knowing how much it would change our lives." Mae said.

"It was an awakening of sorts don't you think?"

Mae nodded accepting his soft kiss. "Yes John, it was."

"Let’s go home and tell Wesley that his ma and pa are going to be together with him forever." John said pulling her back towards the wagon his stride long and purposeful.

"I'm not sure he's old enough to understand," Mae replied laughing.