Chapter 15

 

Susan knew all the color had drained from her face. She opened her mouth, but no words came out.

Keith’s eyes were like blue lasers as they bored into hers. “Is it true?” he demanded. “Is he my son?”

She began to tremble. The time for lies was past. “Yes.” The word came out in a hoarse whisper.

Keith stared at her. He could see the tears in her eyes, but he felt no sympathy for her. Two emotions warred within him—elation and anger. The elation was because his suspicion was correct: he was the father of the wonderful kid he’d wished was his so many times. The anger was caused by a lot of things: the fact that Susan had kept the knowledge from him. The fact that he’d missed out on so many years of Scott’s life. But he was mostly furious with himself, because if he hadn’t been so stupid and run off all those years ago, if he’d stayed and faced the music like a man, the entire scenario would have been completely different.

“I’m sorry, Keith,” she said brokenly. The tears spilled over, running down her face.

In the face of her distress, his anger disappeared. Her eyes beseeched him to understand. Compassion and love for her crowded out all the lesser emotions.

“Susan...” He reached for her.

All the worry and anxiety of the past week, added to the shock of the past few minutes, were too much for Susan. She completely lost it when she felt his arms go around her. He held her until she’d cried herself out, then gently, he led her into the living room. He sat on the couch and pulled her down next to him.

“Tell me everything,” he said, “from the beginning.”

And so she did. It was hard at first, but it got easier. She told him how she’d broken up with Paul after Keith left Austin that night so long ago. “I’d always known I didn’t love Paul the way I should, and what happened between you and me, well, that just reinforced what I knew I had to do.”

He didn’t comment, just nodded his understanding, so she continued.

She told him how she had realized she was pregnant and how she’d agonized over whether to get in touch with him and tell him. “I actually picked up the phone once, but...but I chickened out.”

“Hell, I don’t blame you,” he said bitterly. “You probably thought I was a complete loser after the way I ran out on you.”

“That wasn’t the reason. I...” Oh, God, this was so hard, but now that the truth about Scott’s parentage was out, Susan wanted Keith to know everything. “I never thought of you that way. The trouble was, I’d...I’d fallen in love with you. And I was afraid, once you knew about the pregnancy, you’d offer to marry me even though you didn’t love me. I couldn’t have stood that. I didn’t want you that way.”

“Oh, Susan, I—”

“No,” she said. “Don’t say anything. Not yet. Let me finish.”

She told him how she’d run into Paul in mid-September that year. How shocked he was when he saw she was pregnant. How they’d talked and how she’d learned that Keith had gone away. She explained how Paul had proposed to her and how he’d told her he was sterile.

‘‘He made me think I would be doing something wonderful for him, too,” she said sadly. “At first, when I found out he’d lied to me and that his mother knew about his sterility all the time, I was angry. But now I realize he told me that to make it easy for me to say yes.” Her voice broke again as she added, “He was such a good man.”

“Yes,” Keith said. A look of pain was etched across his face. “Do you think he suspected I was Scott’s father?”

“No.”

“And he never asked you again?”

“No.” Susan wondered now if the reason Paul had never asked again (he must have wondered!) was because on some level he sensed it best never to know. Sometimes the truth is better left unsaid.

She and Keith sat quietly for a few moments. Then Susan shook off her reverie. “After you came back to Rainbow’s End, I wanted to tell you the truth so many times. But I just didn’t know how I could.”

She explained her reasoning, and he shook his head in agreement when she told him about Laverne. “I just couldn’t hurt her like that. I thought she’d be devastated to find out Scott wasn’t really her grandson.” She went on to tell him Laverne guessed the truth that first day she’d seen Keith after his return home.

“So that’s it. No wonder she was so hostile to me.”

“Yes, she said she was terribly afraid she’d lose Scott. And me.”

For the next ten minutes Susan relayed everything she and Laverne had talked about, especially how Laverne had urged her to tell Keith the truth.

“So she’s not upset?” Keith said.

“Well, she is, but I think she knows now that no matter what happens, she won’t lose me or Scott. I will always consider her my family, and Scott will always think of her as his grandmother.”

Keith frowned and looked away.

“Keith?” Susan said softly. “What are you thinking?”

He sighed deeply and turned his gaze back to hers. “I’m thinking how much I love you. You and Scott.” He stroked her cheek, looking deeply into her eyes. Then he kissed her—a long, cleansing kiss that washed away all the pain of the past weeks. “Susan,” he whispered. “Do you love me, too?”

Her heart was so full. “I’ve always loved you.”

He smiled crookedly. “So you’ll marry me, then?”

“I-I want to, but—”

“But what?”

“You...I suppose you will want to tell Scott the truth.”

His arms tightened around her. “I thought I did, but now I don’t know. Is it right to take Paul away from him?” The next words were the hardest he’d ever had to say, but suddenly he knew they were what should be said. “Maybe we shouldn’t tell him.”

“Oh, Keith.” Her voice broke, and fresh tears pooled in her eyes. “I was afraid to suggest it, but now that you have, I think not telling him is the right thing to do.” She brushed away the tears, but her beautiful, soft brown eyes were still filled with sorrow. “I’m so sorry. I wish things could be different.”

“Yes, I do, too. But Scott’s welfare is the most important consideration here. It’ll be adjustment enough having a stepfather.” He was struck by a new thought. What if Scott wasn’t happy about him and Susan getting married?

“Don’t worry,” she said, reading his mind. “He’ll be happy about us. I’m sure of it.”

Susan hoped she was right, because if, for some reason, Scott wasn’t happy about Keith becoming a part of their family, she didn’t know what she’d do. She couldn’t bear to give Keith up again. Not now. Not after everything they’d been through. Not when she’d finally found him again. She could hardly bear to say goodbye to him this morning, but she did because she knew Laverne was looking forward to seeing both her and Scott today.

Susan was so happy. She couldn’t believe how happy she was. All afternoon at Laverne’s, she wished she could tell her mother-in-law about the morning’s developments, but she couldn’t—not until she and Keith had had a chance to talk to Scott alone. They had considered doing it this morning, but she was afraid if Scott was upset, he’d upset Laverne. So she and Keith had decided to wait until tonight. Then, if all went well, the two of them would go to talk to Laverne together tomorrow.

Now she and Scott were on their way home, where Keith would be waiting. Her heart lifted in happiness, even as she worried about Scott’s reaction to their news. She thought he would be thrilled, but there was always a chance he wouldn’t be. Well, she’d soon know.

“Mom, Keith’s here!” Scott said as they pulled into the driveway. Keith’s truck was parked in front of the house.

“Yes,” Susan said. “I knew he was coming.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Before Susan could answer, Scott had yanked open the passenger door. He was already racing across the lawn to meet Keith, who stood on the front walk waiting for him. Susan followed more slowly. Their eyes met, and a silent exchange of love was delivered. He smiled, and she smiled back.

“Hi,” he said when she reached them.

“Hi.”

“You wanna shoot some baskets?” Scott said excitedly.

“Maybe later,” Keith said. “First your mom and I have something we want to talk to you about.”

“Oh.” Scott looked at Susan. “Okay.”

The three of them went into the house and Keith, with a questioning glance at Susan, said, “Want to go into the living room?”

She nodded, suddenly very nervous. What happened in the next few minutes would determine their entire future. Susan sat on the couch, and Scott sat next to her. Keith sat across from them in a leather chair.

“Scott,” she began, “the reason Keith and I wanted to talk to you together is we have something important to tell you.” She looked at Keith. The ball’s in your court, she told him silently.

“I love your mom, Scott,” Keith said, “and I’ve asked her to marry me.”

Scott looked stunned. He looked at Susan. “Are you gonna, Mom?”

“I want to,” Susan said, “but I wanted to be sure you were okay with it.” She held her breath. Please be happy about this, Scott.

“Does...” Scott looked at Keith. “Does this mean you’d be my dad?”

It hurt Susan to see the flicker of pain that Keith quickly masked.

“I could never take the place of your dad,” he said, “but I’d be honored to be your stepfather.”

At that moment, Susan loved Keith more than she’d ever loved him before.

For a long moment, Scott said nothing. Susan was afraid to look at Keith. She was almost afraid to breathe. And then, in one wonderful instant that she knew she would remember forever, Scott’s face lit up with a huge smile.

“Cool,” he said. He looked from Susan to Keith and back to Susan again. “I think Dad would really be happy about this.”

Susan could barely talk over the lump in her throat. Her eyes met Keith’s. In them, she saw everything she was feeling. Happiness, love, and most of all, thankfulness. They were finally going to be a family. “Yes,” she said, “Yes, I do, too.”