Addison Sinclair was rushing around the building on Main Street and ran smack dab into someone. It took her a second to gain her balance and the balance of the poor person she had just run into; looking up she was thankful it was just Cathy.
“Shit girl, I’m sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going, are you okay?”
Cathy was a lovely woman with long blond hair and a killer body. She was older than Addy, but the two had formed a quick and lasting friendship over their mutual love of animals. Cathy had served in the military and now worked as a dog trainer. She was also an Old Lady to Crank in the RBMC, the very people Addy was trying desperately to avoid right now.
“I'm all right, Chica, where are you running off to in such a hurry? Or are you running away from something?” Cathy asked, her raised eyebrow saying Addy wasn’t fooling her and that kind of pissed her off.
“I’m not running, Cath, just have a ton of shit on my mind and wasn’t paying attention to where I was going. Sorry.”
“Okay, we can play it that way, if you want, but one of these days, Addy, you will have to face Whiskey and deal with all the shit that between the two of you. This sneaking around, running from the past stuff will have to end, eventually. You know they say the past always comes back to haunt you, maybe if you two sat down and had it out, then you could let it all go.”
“Shit, Cath, you know what? I wish you and every other person in this town would just let that past stay where it needs to stay, in the past. I’m not running or hiding from Aiden.”
“Whiskey.”
“Okay, Whiskey, whatever, I’m not running and hiding from him. It’s like everyone in this damn town is waiting for me to implode or explode on him, and that won’t happen. You and the rest of these people need to get the hell over it. That stuff went down ten years ago, we were children. I’ve moved on, and he was over it the minute he walked out of here all those years ago. It’s time the rest of you to let it go, I'm sick of hearing about it.”
Cathy was just standing there like she was thinking really hard and staring at Addy it was unnerving.
“What?”
“I was just wondering if your ass was getting jealous of all the shit your mouth is spewing. I mean, that was the biggest load of bullshit I have ever heard. Are you over it? Honey, you haven’t even started to move on from it. When was the last time you dated someone or hell when’s the last time you got laid or had a little fun? I’ve been watching you, and ever since the Frost brothers came back to town, you are constantly hiding around corners and avoiding the Club. Shit, honey, you have been avoiding the whole town. I get that the farm takes a lot of your time, but I’m starting to think if you could have food and feed for the animals delivered, you wouldn’t ever leave the place.”
“Cathy, listen, it’s not what you think. I am avoiding Whiskey, but not just him, all the RBMC. I called Tuck earlier with a proposal, and I don’t want any of the guys to get a hold of me before he looks it over and makes a decision.”
“What kind of proposal?”
“I’m leaving Defiance. Carri has been after me to move down to Lexington, and I’ve decided to take her up on it. I offered Tuck and the Club the farm. It’s time for me to move on. I have spent my entire life here in Defiance fighting for a dream that isn’t even mine because of Pop, but I can’t do that anymore. I want more, and I’m not going to get it here.”
“Honey, I didn’t know it was that bad. Why sell the farm? Why don’t you go ahead hang out with Carri for a while and see if you like it first? This all seems kind of drastic and sudden. Why not just take a little time to think about it some more?”
“Cathy, I have been thinking about this for years. The farm has taken everything from me, my blood, sweat, and tears, and the people I love most in this world. I’m just done, Cathy. It’s time for a change, and I’m finally going to do it. As my friend, I don’t expect you to understand, but I do expect your support. I love you, Cath, but you have to know this is the right move for me. I’m stuck here, it’s time to move on from all of it.
“Damn, okay Honey, I will give you all the support you need, but please just think about this, once it’s done can't be undone. There won’t be any changing your mind and coming back. You are a country girl through and through, Carri’s world isn’t yours. What are you going to do for work? You might not see it now, but that farm is as much a part of you as the air you breathe. Giving it away will hurt.”
“You don’t think I know that? It already does, but I can’t stay here, it hurts too much. I need a fresh start and moving is the only way I’ll get that. Shoot, you and everyone else in this town keep on watching me, waiting for something to happen, and it’s freaking me out. How can I move on when I am constantly reminded of my one major fuck-up for the rest of my life? I need to go somewhere where no one knows me, so I can finally move on. Don’t you get that?”
“Yeah, I get it, and I’m sorry for putting all that crap on you. But, honey, don’t you think if you really are trying to make a fresh start, you need to put the past behind you and have it out with Whiskey? I mean there is so much unsaid between the two of you, maybe if you had it out once and for all you could honestly move on without having to do something so drastic like selling the farm that has been in your family for generations. The MC is good babe; but they aren’t farmers. Damn, hon, you have worked so hard to make something of the farm, are you really willing to let it all go without looking back?”
“No turning back now, Cath, the deal is already in the works. I can’t look back now, this needs to be done. I want this. Please understand.”
Addy was surprised she could say those words without crying or at the very least choking. She didn't want to give up the farm, she just didn't think she had any other choice. Addy wasn’t telling Cathy everything, and she felt guilty about that. Cathy was a friend, but there was more to her move then just getting on with her life. Someone was messing with her; it started out simple at first with vandalism, but now it had turned into downright threats, and Addy couldn’t deal with it.
Someone wanted the farm and wanted it bad. The only way she could think to get out of it was to turn the farm over to the RBMC. They could protect it; she couldn’t. When the vandalism turned into dead animals and injured ranch hands, Addy knew she was in over her head, and she didn't want to put anyone else in danger. If she took herself out of the equation, it would be better for everyone involved, at least that was what she tried to convince herself. Maybe she was just naïve or worse than that, downright stupid.
She could have gone to the Cops or did any number of things, but this was the route she chose, and now she was stuck. She hadn't questioned her motives; now listening to herself she didn't feel right about any of this.
Seeing Aiden, shit no, Whiskey after all these years only added the topper to her shit sundae. It hurt every time she caught a glimpse of him. No one in her life had hurt her as much as he had, she would never let anyone ever have that power again. “Hey, Cath can you do me a favor? I was going to call you later anyways.”
“Sure, Honey as long as you agree to think about all I have said, I want what is best for you girl. I…”
“It’s okay, Cathy. Listen you’re right about some things, but I can’t do what you want. I'm sorry I just can't. Would you mind coming out to the farm and taking care of the animals until the MC takes over? There’s also an envelope on the kitchen table for Whiskey. I might not be able to confront him as you want, but I do want to put everything right. He might not give a shit, but I don’t want the decisions either of us made back then to come back and haunt us. Could you get it to him after I’m gone? It will make me feel better knowing there won’t be any secrets left between us once I’m gone.”
Addy could feel the tears burning in her eyes, but she wouldn’t let them fall. This had been one of the hardest decisions she had ever had to make, but it was for the best, and she was determined to follow it through. Addy wasn’t lying when she told Cathy that she offered the farm to the RBMC. She had, but Tuck had put her off much like Cathy was doing, encouraging her to deal with the past and move forward, but none of them knew what all was going on, and that was her fault. She didn’t plan on giving Tuck a choice, she had the papers in her truck. Addy would turn the farm over to the RBMC whether they wanted it or not, she just needed to deliver them.
Addy was scared and running like a coward, leaving her mess right in the MC’s lap, but she knew it was the right decision or at least she thought it was until a few seconds ago. Hearing the words had only she thought out loud was making her question everything. In her gut, she knew the people threatening her were after the MC, not her specifically; maybe by forcing their hand everyone would be better off. She had to hope that that was the truth.
Cathy wrapped Addy in her arms giving her a hug she so sorely needed, and the warmth felt good. It had been a long time since Addy had felt warm, the fear and indecisions she had been dealing with were overwhelming. It was taking everything thing she had just to keep her emotions in check and get through the next couple of minutes.
“Shit, honey, I’m sorry. Of course, I’ll take care of those things for you, but please promise to call me before you leave town.”
“I will, Cathy,” Addy said wiping her eyes. “I need to get going, there’s a ton of shit I need to get done before that can happen. I know you don’t understand, but please, believe me, this is for the best. I’ll keep in touch, and maybe after everything is settled, you can meet up with Carri and me. We can have a girl’s night sometime soon. Lexington isn’t that far away, and Crank can do without you for one night. Carri would love it and so would I. I know you think I am running from everyone and everything here in Defiance, but I don’t want to lose our friendship. I love you, Cathy.”
“I love you, too, now get going before we both turn into blubbering messes.”
Addy walked away from her friend, a heaviness in her heart. Cathy had a heart of gold, and Addy valued her friendship; if it was this hard to walk away from her, Addy had to wonder how hard it was going to be to walk away from the farm and everything else. Life sucked.