CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
SHE HADN’T FELT this shy around a client since her earliest days tattooing. But when Vic slid that damned shirt free from his body and all those taut muscles, all that skin she had been delightfully able to grope of late, she realized how much it meant to her to give him exactly what he wanted and it wasn’t just about ink.
It was more. His opinion mattered. The way he felt where she was concerned mattered. She was getting used to it. To the way he’d become central to her life. To being concerned about his well-being.
He turned, catching her looking at his body like she was going to lick him and he grinned, leaning down to kiss her right in the middle of the shop and all she could do was blush and barely manage not to jump him right then and there.
They were alone in the shop because early mornings were a time when he could be there around his work schedule and she liked having him all to herself. Something she was freely able to admit to herself by that point.
“Let me get this placed,” she said, indicating the transfer she’d made of her design. Sage and birds. A blue jay, wings expanded with a yellow warbler perched in the shelter they made. “Show me exactly where.”
He stood in front of her, the heat from his bare torso blanketing her. He addled her and it was pretty delicious.
“Perfect,” he said, looking at the spot from a few angles.
No lie there.
“Straddle the chair for this part. We’ll go an hour and see where things stand.” She’d already told him a piece as big as the one he wanted with color would take more than one session.
“Your wish is my command. You know I’m high-tolerance.” He smirked at her and though it sent a rush of warmth through her, it also relaxed her. Eased that shyness some.
Outlining always felt like a ritual to her. Like the first steps in whatever magic the perfect tattoo came with. That repeated movement, the hum of the tattoo machine, the scent of ink and antiseptic married with the spice of Vic’s beard product.
Her hands on him shouldn’t have given her such a thrill. She gave tattoos every day, it wasn’t as if it was novel to have hands on skin. But this was Vic. And it changed everything.
Sage and birds, he’d said. The sage was for home. The birds too, he’d implied without saying explicitly.
“I had a dream about you last night,” he murmured, breaking her free from her thoughts.
“Yeah? Did we do the sexytimes?”
He snorted, but managed to stay still so she kept working.
“It was about birds. And cages. Sometimes I think it takes my subconscious to figure you out. Do you ever want to talk about it? You don’t have to. You’ve already told me a lot. I just...it’s a thing you went through and I’m trying to figure out if I’m doing the boyfriend thing right.”
“Doing the boyfriend thing right? What do you mean? You’re pretty awesome in that department.”
“I want you to know you can always talk to me. And I’m here for you to talk to. I won’t judge you. You’re safe with me,” he said quietly and her heart squeezed a little.
“I am safe with you. I never doubt that. I told you I made a mistake. A stupid professional error and that’s when he took me. His house, which I didn’t know at first, was in the middle of the woods. I don’t really remember the physical stuff that happened. I mean, I can recall it, but I try not to focus on that.
“But what I really remember, what sticks with me even though I wish it hadn’t was the way I felt. Caged, yes, but more I had no ability to do my job. I could not save those women, the ones he killed while I was there.”
“Did he... Never mind.”
She knew what he meant. “It’s okay. He didn’t rape me. Not that way. I was different for him. He consumed those others. He used them and hurt them and then when they were empty he threw them out and started on a new victim. He collected me. I was a symbol of his power. He’d gotten the drop on me. He had some sort of weird competition with me as I’d been tracking him.”
He’d made her watch. Made her listen. Knowing her helplessness would be a form of torture that was designed to weaken her. Break her.
“But you won. In the end, you won,” Vic said.
Over the years since she’d gotten free from that basement, she’d heard similar commentary but never once had it felt like it had when Vic said it. Vic understood that the win came with a loss she was still processing to that day. But that she’d endured and that was a triumph. He knew her.
She kept her focus on the lines as she continued, letting the feel of him remind her she was miles away, years away, a lifetime away from that place.
“When I woke up in the hospital I knew I would never go back to law enforcement. I could not turn it off. The part of me that was trained to be a special agent kept running in the background. No matter how hard I didn’t want to hear it and think about it I was still cataloging things. Still building the case. That focus kept me alive. Stopped me from shattering into a million pieces.”
“But you didn’t want it anymore. That thing that would always be tainted by what happened in that basement.”
How did he always get her so well? And how did she get so damned lucky?
“Yeah. Pretty much. My brain was trained to act in a certain way. It’ll always be part of my makeup. I can’t deny that. But what I do now uses a different part of my brain. A different set of tools and it’s better. If that makes sense. The way my life is now, how I spend my time and with who, it enables me to keep living and being happy. Keep me living without constant anxiety and fear.”
If she’d kept her job at the Bureau, the fear would be in her face all day every day. Every case would have something to remind her. Rachel was tired of the fear and in truth, if she’d stayed on it might have eventually broken her.
And she never would have met Vic, which she told him.
“If I could erase that harm for you, even if it meant I never had you in my life I’d do it.”
He would. She knew that without a single doubt. And how could anyone matter more to her than he?
“Well, that’s sweet and all. But I’d rather have you. So. Up on the table on your side so I can get to your ribs easier.”
He stood but didn’t immediately lie on the table. First he cupped her cheeks ever so gently and kissed her. “I love you.”
He really needed to stop being so perfect or she’d just be a mess of hormones all the damned time.
* * *
THREE WEEKS LATER they had just finished a several-mile hike with the sounds of nature all around them as they went.
Birds everywhere. Laughter and chatter from the friends out on the trail. It did make Rachel feel better when they got quieter during the more strenuous parts too.
She hadn’t been out on a trail so remote in years and after the first hour when she’d had a few shaky moments, she’d found herself soothed by the clean air, by the sounds of the trees in the breeze, the flap of wings, the scent of warm tree bark and earth.
It had been like a filter, letting her discharge all the heaviness that had come in the time after that last scene with her father.
After the initial elation had worn off, she’d had to do the difficult job of tracking down the identities of the men who’d been with her father that night. Four in all, as it turned out.
And after she’d left Morris Spacer’s office—the security firm he worked for had been the registered owner of the SUVs from the scene that night—she’d had to ’fess up to her attorney just what was going on.
Attorney-client privilege was pretty nifty, and it gave her someone to lay everything out for. Someone who’d have effective advice on next steps and that sort of thing.
As she’d figured, her aunt Robbie had called after she’d been the recipient of a nastygram from Rachel’s father. He was angry, which wasn’t a surprise to Rachel. But he was boxed in. He had no real options without risking the wrath of his dopey friends.
Worse, he knew it.
He hadn’t called Rachel or Maybe though. And from what Rachel could tell, there’d been no more surveillance of any of them.
She’d set up like she had in the old days. Had anticipated and erected walls on every single avenue her father could have used to escape responsibility and turn the situation to his advantage. He wasn’t better than her. Not a bit. She wanted him to know he was hemmed in. Wanted the sting of it to keep his ass out of their lives if for no other reason than fear that she’d burn his life down and he’d given her all the ammunition.
And at the end, there’d only been one last gambit. One she and Maybe knew was coming.
That had happened just the day prior to the hike, not too very long before she had to leave work to drive up to the hotel with Vic and his friends where they’d stay the night before the hike.
She’d been both dreading and needing that last step to happen and once it had, she’d needed some time to process what she’d heard, said and done.
The miracle of it had been that Vic hadn’t been put off by her need for space to do her thinking. Not that he’d disappeared. Nope, he’d been there at her side. Giving her space, but making sure she knew he was there for the long haul.
Essentially being perfect. Again.
On the trail, he looked at her from time to time. Just keeping an eye on her general state. He seemed to have a trust of her skill level, which was flattering given just how athletic some of his friends were.
The small campsite, run by some friends of friends, sat on a rise overlooking a gorgeous lake. There was a fire pit in the center of a cluster of yurts. Vic had explained they would make their meals. A crude but private outhouse was near, but not too near. Far enough away that she wasn’t planning to drink too much before bed so she wouldn’t have to stumble out into the cold darkness to pee at three in the morning.
“This is what drew me here to the Northwest,” she told Vic as they’d dropped off their things in their yurt. The lake shimmered in the springtime sunshine, a deep—and very cold—blue. She indicated that and the spread of trees all around. More mountains surrounded them. “Stunning natural beauty. I’ve never been up this way before. It’s absolutely marvelous.”
He stood next to her, an arm slung around her shoulders. “It can’t compete with you, but it does okay.”
“Still planning on that yurt sex I see,” she murmured.
He laughed, pulling her to his side more snugly. “I’m always planning on sex. As long as it’s you, it doesn’t matter to me where.”
They explored the area with some mini hikes until they found the right place for fishing and set about catching some dinner so they didn’t need to resort to the backup dinner they brought in their packs.
Later, alone, they looked up at the sky as they snuggled up under a blanket on the chaise made for two. Out here so far from the city it was clear and dark enough to see so many stars it looked photoshopped.
Vic handed her a steaming mug of tea and she decided it was time. “So. You’ve been very good about giving me the space and time to work through everything with my parents.”
“I told you I wasn’t going anywhere.”
“How is it you’re always so sure about everything?” she asked him.
“I’m not. But I’m sure about you. And I’m sure how I feel about you. I know who you are and I love you.” He shrugged.
“My mother came to the shop yesterday afternoon. Well, actually she was waiting for me outside the coffee shop when I came out from a caffeine run. I didn’t tell you last night because I had some last bits in my head to tidy up.”
“You’re telling me now,” he said easily.
“She started off with the usual lines about family and love and all that. But then when I reiterated what I’d said to my father, what he’d done to me and Maybe and your family, she got quiet. So I thought, huh, maybe she’s actually listening and will see what he’s doing and her part in it.”
He tried not to snort, she knew he tried, but it was there anyway. And he was right.
“He’s the one who went to your brother’s ex’s family and got them stirred up. He found out about Danil and tracked them down to put all sorts of ideas in their heads about what you were doing to me. That your family was helping you hurt me.”
Rachel knew he was seriously angry because his entire body seized up, making him even bulkier. A sex flush worked from her chest up her neck and she was glad it was dark enough that he couldn’t see how easy she was for him.
He already knew. It wasn’t a secret but she had some pride.
“He and his little buddies won’t be doing anything for my dad again,” she told him.
“How do you know?”
“I ran an investigation. I found out lots of things and it wasn’t super hard. Who the guys were who’d come to the restaurant parking lot that night. Where they worked. Who they dated or were married to. Any sorts of indiscretions they might wish to keep private. Like that time my mother had an affair with the same guy who’d been stalking and harassing Maybe. Turns out she didn’t want Richie to know. Go figure. Anyway, it’s over. I’ve spent three weeks blocking every one of his ways into my life. I’ve learned enough to make sure your family is protected too. If he steps off the approved path he’s going to pay. And he’s too pitiable to pay and my mother, despite her affair, wants to keep her marriage enough that she’ll make sure he leaves us alone.”
Vic took her hand so he could kiss her knuckles. An old-fashioned reaction to your girlfriend saying all the stuff she just had. But a Vic reaction. Which warmed her heart.
“A brutally effective way to make sure he can’t mess with you. That’s really sexy.”
“No comment on the fact that my father is the reason those people came to harass and upset your mom and dad?”
He shrugged. “I already thought he was a piece of shit so it’s not like finding out another awful thing he’d done was going to make me loathe him more. I’m not even surprised. You’d think he would have found out that I was a citizen though.”
“He was lazy with the questions he asked. There’s lots of information out there. It’s an information age, right? Sometimes there’s so much that if you aren’t very specific, or if you’re too specific you might miss stuff. He just never even thought to see where you were born. He heard Russian being spoken and that’s all he cared about. It’s lazy. I bet his coworkers thought he was a slacker back when he was on the force too.”
“You did all that not just to protect yourself, but everyone. Maybe first and foremost. But me and my parents too. Thank you, tigryonak, for taking care of what is so important to me.”
“I love you, Vicktor Orlov. I love how you are always able to see the best in me. I love your optimism. Your humor. Your ferocity. I love how smart you are and how much you nurture everyone around you. I mostly love how you look at me. Like I could do anything.”
She hadn’t said it back to him that night when he first said the words. She’d told him he’d changed everything and made it clear the depth of her feelings. But those three words needed to come at the right moment when she’d handled everything else and could say them with all of her heart.
He burst into laughter, the kind she loved most from him. Delighted, charming, sexy. It was unique to her and it always felt like a gift. “Of course you do. How can you not? I have a big dick and I love making you come.”
She chuckled as she pinched him. “Don’t forget the bread.”
“I will never forget the bread.” He leaned over, kissed the top of her head and they went back to watching the stars.
* * * * *
Read on for a bonus, extended sneak peek of
the final book in the WHISKEY SHARP trilogy
WHISKEY SHARP: TORN
Coming Spring 2018 from HQN and Lauren Dane
The deepest love can come as a surprise...