They were printing stories about my family now.

My dad’s suicide was splashed over the front of glossy magazines, re-tweeted and shared online. The Page Break Bookshop’s social media pages were flooded with tags and comments, most of them awful. I was getting death threats from Mallory Grigorio fans who all seemed to think she and Sebastian were a hot item and I was the trashy home-wrecker. Keyboard warriors were telling me to throw myself off a cliff like my father. I’d be doing them a favour, they said.

Sargent Conway had tried to shoo the media scrum away yesterday, but he was pretty much ignored. He was the only cop in town, so crowd control was totally out of his power. I’d drawn the blinds and hidden in darkness, with my tears as my only company. I was a prisoner in my own home.

They were making money off my misery while I faced complete financial and emotional ruin. The only people who were profiting were the callous sharks outside.

Later that day, I managed to get a call out to Mrs. Hopkins.

“Oh, Juniper,” she said, “are you okay?”

I was numb. I couldn’t let anything through my armour. I had to keep going.

“I’m calling about the evaluation,” I replied, ignoring her question. “I’ve made a decision.”

Vanessa turned up the following day, sans Ziggy.

The frenzy had died off downstairs, but there were still a few photographers out on the footpath. They’d brought camp chairs and picnic baskets and had dug in for the long haul. They knew I had to come out eventually.

“Hey,” she said standing beside me. “How are you?”

“Awful.” I sighed and closed my eyes for a second. “It’ll stop eventually, right?”

“Of course it will. They’ll get bored soon enough and things will die down.”

But I’d never feel the same again. For better or worse, Sebastian had marked my soul, but life still went on. The bills still needed to be paid, the books needed to be balanced, and decisions needed to be handed down.

“Have you decided what to do with the Page Break?” Vanessa asked.

“I’m selling,” I replied. “I’m selling and getting out of here.”

“But... but—” Vanessa’s bottom lip started to tremble.

“The Page Break is a failure, my love life is a failure, and I’m a failure.”

“No, you’re not!”

I grunted. Everything seemed so futile right now and having my entire past, and everyone’s opinion about it, shoved down my throat wasn’t helping. Sebastian was right about the spiral. When it caught you, it was difficult to pull yourself out, even if you had help.

“But where will you go?” Vanessa asked.

Maybe I should cut my hair and colour it black or something. Pack a suitcase and just go to Paris like I always wanted. Mrs. Hopkins said she’d be able to get a good price for this place. The reserve price she’d estimated was eye-watering, but she thought she could get more on top of that—and that figure didn’t even include the stock. If I was clever, that kind of cash would last me a long time. I could bootstrap it across the world and become someone new.

For the first time in days, I felt a genuine spark of hope. I could have a clean slate. Wipe away all the heartache, forget the tragedies of my past, and find out who the fuck I was supposed to be. I didn’t know where I was going, but I hoped it would be beautiful when I got there.

“That’s the beauty,” I said. “I could go anywhere.”

“Do you love him?”

Her words grated against my heart. I thought about all the intimate moments I’d shared with Sebastian, the truths he’d whispered into my ear, the feelings that’d coursed through my veins when he’d fucked me, and I couldn’t help but think that maybe it could’ve come to that. To love. But, in the real world, there was always a but.

“I could have,” I said, staring over the main street and towards the ocean. “But his life is too big for me.”

“How do you know?”

“You’re seriously asking me that?” I exclaimed, glaring at her and pointing at the window. “Where have you been the last few days? Siberia?”

“You never set foot in his ‘world!’” She air quoted the last part. “You dipped a toe, and granted it wasn’t the best temperature, but you’ve only seen the ugly side. One tiny, minuscule part.”

I shook my head, clutching onto my stubbornness like a life raft.

“You’re closing yourself off, Juni,” Vanessa went on. “I’m the first person to stand up and protect you because that’s what true friends do, but you’re acting stupid.”

“Stupid?” I scoffed. “I’ve been torn apart by his world. I’ve had death threats from strangers! You don’t know what that’s like!”

“Yeah, and that’s shit, but it wasn’t him. It wasn’t Sebastian who said those things. You’re punishing him for circumstances that are out of his control.”

“You’re on his side now?”

“I’m on your side!” she shouted. “I’m on the side that gets you your happy ending, Juni. I’ve seen you struggle all these years, first taking care of your mum, then cleaning up the mess she left behind. That’s not even counting the stuff with your dad. You owe it to yourself to open your fucking eyes and see the possibility that Sebastian could love you. He needs you to love him, Juni. Fate brought him here and—”

“Fate?” I scoffed. “Is fate supposed to hurt this much? Is fate supposed to make me afraid to go out my front door?”

“Love sucks,” she declared. “Love will kick you in the nuts and laugh while you’re rolling around on the ground, but when it shines... fuck. When it shines, love is worth all of this, times a million.”

Pursing my lips together, I turned towards the window. Outside, the wind was rising and the antique glass panes began to rattle.

“You’re making a mistake, Juniper,” my best friend declared. “A big fucking mistake.”

“Good thing it’s not your life, Ness.”

Two days later, while still in a haze of numbness, I lingered inside the Page Break as a ‘for sale’ sign was stuck on the window.

What Sebastian said was right. Rock ‘n’ roll will save your life... but the fame will kill you.