Chapter Four
SARAH LOOKED OUT Bullet and Finlay’s bedroom window toward the fenced-in pond in their backyard Saturday afternoon, trying to catch sight of her children as she put the finishing touches on Finlay’s hair for her wedding. They’d gotten lucky. Early November in Maryland could be cold and rainy, but the sky was clear and the air was crisp. Rows of white chairs faced a beautiful wooden wedding altar Bones, Bear, and Truman had built for Bullet and Finlay. Between Bones’s job and how often he helped Scott with the basement, she had no idea when he had found the time, but the altar was breathtakingly beautiful. Pink and white roses adorned the top, and fall-colored flowers overflowed barrels on either side. The same flowers filled planters throughout the yard. Glass lanterns hung from tree limbs with white candles inside and pink, white, and peach roses around the top. The yard was packed with members of the Dark Knights and their families. Children ran around with balloons tied to their wrists, dodging adults who were mingling on the lawn. Finlay had planned the wedding perfectly. The enormous white tent they’d set up for the reception had space heaters just in case they needed them. A makeshift stage for the band and a dance area had been set up at one end. Round tables had pink and white tablecloths and beautiful floral centerpieces in vases in the shape of a motorcycle with a pink banner that had Bullet’s and Finlay’s names written in black. Sarah scanned the grounds, trying not to let her nerves get the best of her. She finally spotted Chicki and Red holding Lila and Lincoln beneath a big tree, chatting with Finlay’s mother and her husband.
Sarah threaded more flowers into Finlay’s hair and took another quick glance outside, searching for Bradley. Her pulse quickened as her gaze landed on Bones standing by the fence around the pond with Bradley and Scott. Scott was busy ogling Cassie, the caterer, as she came out of the reception tent, which was fine, because Sarah took a moment to ogle Bones, standing tall and broad, with one strong hand resting protectively on her son’s shoulder. Like the other men, he was strikingly handsome in jeans and a black dress shirt, with a pink tie that matched the flowers in Finlay’s bouquet, and his biker vest and boots. But unlike the other men, Bones took her breath away. He could make sweatpants look like a million bucks. Bradley had insisted on wearing the boots and vest Bones had given him. He was gazing up at Bones, and in that moment Sarah wondered if she was letting her children get too close to him. She’d spent a lifetime being disappointed in others, and the idea of anyone having the power to shatter her children’s happiness worried her.
She focused on Finlay’s hair, listening to the girls talk about their lives. As Gemma told them how often Kennedy emulated her, waving her little hands and fluttering her lashes, Sarah feared her worries that the other shoe was about to drop would somehow wear off on her children, no matter how much she tried not to let it.
She was tired of living every moment on guard, preparing for the worst. Just for one day she wanted to allow herself to be a normal twenty-six-year-old woman and enjoy the afternoon without those looming concerns. Lord knew Bones and his family had earned her trust.
If only her past would stop casting shadows over her present.
“Isn’t everything gorgeous?” Gemma said as she came to Sarah’s side, appreciation sparking in her green eyes. She looked beautiful in a knee-length mauve dress with shimmery sleeves. She had long legs for a woman of only five two or five three, a slim waist, and curvy hips.
Sarah placed her hand over her baby bump, trying not to be envious of the other girls’ figures, but hair envy was another thing altogether. She had major hair envy for the girls’ shiny, bouncy hair, from Gemma’s natural array of browns and golds to Dixie’s thick, flame-red waves cascading down her back. She knew stress could wreak havoc on skin and nails, and she swore her dull, sandy tresses were proof that it was hell on hair, too.
“Look at Bullet pacing like a caged tiger,” Gemma said. “He’s driving poor Tinkerbell crazy.” Tinkerbell paced with Bullet, but kept stopping and looking toward the house.
“I begged him to let Tink stay with me,” Finlay said as Sarah secured the last of the flowers into place. “Bullet worried she’d get in the way, but I know that’s not why he kept her with him. Bullet needs Tinkerbell like other guys need a stiff drink.”
Finlay pushed to her feet and gazed dreamily out the window. She was stunning in the white satin and lace wedding dress Crystal had made for her. It was long in the back, knee-length in the front, with two white satin bows at her waist. The skirt had a layer of floral lace that began as white and faded into gradients of pink as it reached the hem. The plunging neckline was shielded with pretty lace that matched the long lace sleeves. She wore her hair down. The way Bullet likes it best. Sarah had French braided the sides into a pretty horizontal braid across the back, which looked gorgeous with baby’s breath weaved into it. She’d added little flowers to each girl’s hairstyle.
Finlay turned around and said, “I love that about him. Bullet feels everything so deeply. I swear he’s got the biggest heart of any man I’ve ever met.” Her eyes glistened with tears, and she fanned her face.
“No tears!” Isabel hurried over from across the room. She was Finlay’s best friend and one of her two maids of honor. Finlay had been unable to decide between her sister, Penny, and Isabel, so they were both walking down the aisle with Bones, Bullet’s best man.
“No, no, no.” Penny rushed over with Crystal and Dixie on her heels. She took Finlay by the shoulders and said, “Look into my eyes. If you ruin your makeup before the wedding, we have to start all over.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just so happy. Bullet is…” Finlay fanned her face faster, blinking rapidly. “He was so gruff and such a dirty-talking, shameless flirt when I met him. And now all those things make me fall harder for him by the second. I just love him so much.”
Penny pulled her into a hug. “When you marry a big, burly, tatted-up biker, you get the best of everything.”
“Careful of my hair,” Finlay said.
“I’m just glad you love Bullet for who he is,” Dixie said as she looked out the window. She wore a short forest-green backless dress, with lace sleeves and sky-high heels. She was so tall and willowy, she could have been a model. Well, a tattoo model, considering she had so much ink. “I worried that he’d never let a woman into his head or his heart. I’m happy for both of you.”
“He’s so lovable, Dix,” Finlay said. “I never stood a chance.”
“Dixie is happy for you,” Crystal said with a smirk. “But she’s happier because one more of her brothers has another female to watch over besides her.”
Dixie thrust out one hip and crossed her arms, amusement filling her keen green eyes. “There is some truth to that rumor.”
“Why does that make you happier than Bullet and Finlay getting married?” Sarah asked.
“When you were growing up, did Scott scare off every guy who looked at you?” Dixie asked.
Sarah’s nerves prickled. “I didn’t really have guys looking at me back then.” She’d done everything she could to avoid it so she didn’t get a beating.
“Oh please. Look at you.” Dixie waved her hand toward her. “Even after two babies—and with one in the oven—you’ve got Bones all tied up in knots. And he never goes out with women from around here.”
Sarah. Couldn’t. Breathe.
“Oh yeah, that man’s totally into you,” Gemma said. “On Halloween even Tru noticed it.”
Unsure of what to say, Sarah went with, “He’s just being nice.”
“I don’t know,” Finlay said. “Kennedy and Lincoln have been coming here for a long time, and suddenly Bones decided the pond was a danger to little ones. He hired Crow, one of the Dark Knights, to put up that safety fence around it, and then he showed up at the crack of dawn every morning this week before going into work to make sure it got done.”
“He’s just cautious, and maybe spending time with Bradley lately has made him think more about kids in general,” Sarah said.
“I think your kids have gotten to him in a big way,” Dixie said. “Well, you and your kids, really.”
Happiness bubbled up inside Sarah, but just as quickly the familiar dread of what he might expect in return tried to chase it away. She struggled to hold on to the positive feeling.
“It’s not like that,” Sarah said, but even as the words came out, his voice whispered through her mind. Let me in, Sarah. You won’t regret it. She put her hand on her belly, thinking about her life. Women often looked at her like she had an enviable life, with two children and a baby on the way. They had no way of knowing what she’d been through. But men? When she wasn’t pregnant, on the rare occasion she’d gone out without her children, she’d noticed a few glances, but now she was invisible to almost all of them. Why she wasn’t to Bones she had no idea, although their friendship had definitely developed an electric charge lately. She blamed her desires on pregnancy hormones. But for him? It had to be some kind of passing attraction.
“Bones can have anyone he wants,” she finally added. “I’m like a walking baggage terminal. He’s a protector, like the rest of your family, and we’re just new people to look out for.”
Dixie and the others exchanged a look that loosely translated to Has this girl lost her mind?
“Fin!” Cassie’s voice floated up the stairs. A minute later she appeared in the doorway. Her brown hair was piled on her head in a bun, and she was all smiles in a pretty peach dress. “If you don’t hurry up, I swear Bullet’s going to come in here and haul your heinie out over his shoulder!”
“Oh my gosh!” Finlay put her hand over her heart. “Why am I so nervous?” She turned to Gemma, Crystal, and Sarah and said, “Were you nervous when you got married?”
“Yes!” Crystal and Gemma said in unison.
All eyes turned to Sarah. She was so used to calling Lewis her ex, she’d forgotten that most people assumed she had been married. She wasn’t embarrassed not to have been married. In fact, she thanked the heavens above, because it was one less tie she’d had to cut.
“I’ve, um, never been married,” Sarah explained. “We just lived together.”
“I’m sorry. I just assumed…” Finlay said as they moved toward the stairs.
“It’s okay. I don’t like to talk about him anyway.” Grasping for a diversion, she said, “Why did you decide to get married so quickly?”
“Because I love Bullet wholly and completely,” Finlay answered without hesitation. “I want to have his babies and get old and gray together. I want to hold his hand as we leave this life and pass into another. That’s how sure I am about our love. And I’m equally sure that he needs this commitment even more than he needs Tinkerbell, so why would I ask him to wait for it?”
As Sarah followed the girls downstairs, she wondered what it would be like to love someone that much. She would do anything for her children, including putting her life at risk to save them, and now that she’d reconnected with Scott, she thought she might do the same for him. But he was her brother. He’d been there in the thick of the violence from their parents, trying to protect her and Josie, finding a way out that would benefit all of them, and when they’d reconnected after all those years, he’d changed his life to be with them and to try to rebuild their relationship. And even though Josie had shut them out, she knew she’d give her life for her, too.
But falling so deeply in love with a man that she couldn’t imagine a life without him? She wasn’t sure she was capable of healing enough to ever trust her instincts, or someone else, that much.
BONES WAS SURE Bullet was going to break into a sprint, haul his big ass down the aisle, and plow through Bones and everyone else to get to Finlay instead of waiting for the wedding procession to finish. Bear and Crystal had walked down the aisle first, followed by Truman and Gemma. Dixie was walking with Lincoln down the aisle now. Bullet was so close to Truman and Gemma’s babies, he looked as though he was tearing up. Bones held tightly to Kennedy’s hand as he crouched to fix the pink bow around Tinkerbell’s neck, stealing a glance at the most beautiful woman in the yard—in all of Peaceful Harbor as far he was concerned. Sarah sat in a floral dress with Lila on her lap and Bradley beside her. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her—about the three of them—since he’d seen them last. He’d helped Scott with the basement last night, but he’d only gotten to say a quick hello to Sarah before she’d disappeared to put her little ones to bed. He’d wanted to offer to help, but he’d been covered in drywall dust. When she hadn’t appeared later, Scott had said she’d probably fallen asleep with the children. Bones wanted to believe that, but he’d seen how tormented she was when Scott had divulged parts of her past she’d clearly wanted to keep hidden. He wondered if she was avoiding him.
Knowing Sarah wasn’t married had severed the tethers that had kept his emotions in check. If she was embarrassed, that would end today.
Bradley leaned across Sarah’s lap, planting a kiss on his baby sister’s cheek. Lila giggled, and love fell over Sarah’s features like a moment in a movie, sending awareness rippling through Bones. She was really something. She’d been upstairs with the girls for hours doing their hair, and he swore he’d seen her looking out the window, searching for her children at least three times each hour.
“Now, Uncle Boney?” Kennedy bounced in her pink frilly dress, her pretty brown eyes as big as saucers as she tugged on his hand, bringing him back to the moment. A lace headband with large fabric flowers sat crooked on her forehead.
He straightened the headband and handed her a basket the girls had filled with pink roses. He looked her in the eyes as she bounced and said, “Now, sweetheart, but remember, try not to get Tink too excited, okay?”
Kennedy nodded vehemently. “Come on, Tink!” She began skipping down the aisle, throwing rose petals as she shouted, “Look at me, Uncle Beah!”
“Mommy, look at Tink!” Bradley pointed at Tinkerbell. “Hi, Tink! Hi, Kennedy!”
Bradley waved wildly, and Kennedy ran over and put a handful of petals on his lap. Tinkerbell licked Bradley’s face, and everyone laughed.
“Sit, Tink!” Bones snapped, and Tinkerbell plopped to her bottom beside Kennedy.
Sarah cringed, her cheeks flushing as she leaned closer to Kennedy and said, “Thank you, sweetheart. You’d better keep walking.”
“Fust I have to give baby Lila some!” Kennedy tossed rose petals into the air, and they floated down over Lila. Lila grabbed at them, causing collective awws and laughter to erupt around them.
Lila and Bradley played with the rose petals. Sarah smiled shyly, hugging her babies. It took all of Bones’s restraint not to go to her.
“Come on, Tink!” Kennedy barreled back into the aisle and skipped all the way down to Bullet. “You’re getting mawied, Uncle Bullet! I love you!” She threw her arms around Bullet’s legs and then she ran to Gemma.
Tinkerbell barked, looking nervously between Bullet and Kennedy. Bullet patted his thigh, and Tinkerbell settled in beside him.
Bones couldn’t stop smiling. This—family, friends, happiness—was everything good in the world. He glanced at Sarah again, and he knew she belonged in this picture, too.
Bradley was sitting sideways on the chair at the end of the aisle, watching him as he offered his arms to Penny and Isabel. Sarah had one arm around Lila, the other around Bradley. She lifted her head, and their eyes caught. For an unguarded second, she looked at him like she desired him, and in that split second his insides flamed. She dropped her gaze, and her hair blocked his view. But that sexy look was already etched into his mind. And damn, that was a look he wanted to see a hell of a lot more.
He and the women began walking down the aisle.
“Hi, Bones!” Bradley waved.
Bones winked at him.
“Bradley,” Sarah whispered, but Bradley pushed to his feet and ran toward Bones.
Bones scooped him into his arms with a big-ass smile and said, “Hey, B-boy. You want in on the action?”
More laughter rang out as Bradley hugged Bones around his neck, nodding. Bones glanced at Sarah, who looked mortified. He winked at her and mouthed, It’s okay. Then he said to Bradley, “You’ve got to hold this pretty lady’s hand, okay?”
Bradley nodded as Bones shifted him onto his hip. Bradley put his hand out for Penny to hold, beaming with joy, but it was the way Sarah was looking at Bones, with a mix of astonishment, embarrassment, and something much deeper and more alluring that had his heart thundering as they made their way down the aisle. He heard his father, who went by the biker name Biggs for his six-five stature, chuckling.
“Sorry, dude,” Bones said to Bullet as he took his place beside him with Bradley in his arms. Bradley buried his face in Bones’s neck in delayed embarrassment.
Bullet chuckled. “It’s all good, bro. It’s how it should be.”
The “Wedding March” played, and Finlay appeared at the end of the aisle on her mother’s arm. Nothing could have pulled Bullet’s attention from his beautiful bride, just as nothing could divert Bones’s attention from Sarah.
The ceremony was heartfelt, but Bones missed much of it. He was too focused on Bradley’s head resting on his shoulder and Sarah trying her best to look like she wasn’t watching them. He never lost track of her for a second, not after the ceremony when a mass of friends and family converged on the wedding party for congratulatory embraces and not as Hawk, the photographer, gathered them together for pictures. Bones got a kick out of the fact that Bradley would be in them. Sarah anxiously bounced Lila on her hip, looking like she wanted to plow through the crowd and relieve him of her son, but also like she didn’t want to cause any more distractions. When Hawk finished, Bones took a moment to speak with him and Bullet. Then, as everyone else headed for the reception tent, Bones blazed a path toward Sarah.
Her brows knitted, and an apologetic smile lifted her lips as he came to her side.
“Mommy! I was in pictures! Did you see?” Bradley asked excitedly.
“Yes, baby,” she said to Bradley with a forced smile. Then to Bones she said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do, and now Bullet’s pictures are ruined, and—”
“No apologies necessary, and they aren’t ruined. They’re even better than they would have been.” Bones draped an arm around her shoulder, guiding her toward Hawk, who was standing near the wedding arch looking at them through the lens of his camera. Did Sarah look as exquisite to Hawk as she did to Bones? He would love to see her through the eye of a lens, close up, catching every twitch and quiver of her beautiful face. Did Hawk notice the sweet curve of her belly, or the way she touched it often, like she needed her baby to know she was thinking about it? Or the way she kept stealing glances at Bones? Did he catch sight of the birthmark on her left wrist? Would he get a picture of her smile at the very moment when it reached her eyes?
“Bones…” Sarah said shakily, her eyes darting to the few guests still making their way toward the reception tent. “Where are we going?”
“How long has it been since you had pictures taken of you and the kids?”
Confusion riddled her brow. “Um…?”
“That’s what I thought.” He hadn’t seen any pictures of her and the kids at her place, not even a stray picture hanging on their refrigerator, like Truman and Gemma had. Hell, like he had of Lincoln and Kennedy on his own fridge. Her phone was probably full of them, but he was sure she didn’t have a photo printer.
“Bones, no,” she said as Hawk lowered his camera and raised his chin in greeting. “He doesn’t have to do this. You’re going to make him miss Bullet and Finlay’s first dance.”
“No, he won’t, Mommy,” Bradley chimed in. “Bones asked Bullet to wait for us.”
“Oh gosh, Bones…? Please tell me you didn’t.” Her beautiful eyes pleaded for it not to be true.
“I can’t lie to you, darlin’. Lies make me twitchy.” He glanced at Hawk, who was wearing mustard-colored pants and brown leather suspenders with a white dress shirt. His eyeglasses had multicolored frames, and though he had a few tats and a thick beard, his light-brown hair was shorn tight on the sides and longer on top, brushed back in a trendy style. Hawk was a highly-sought-after photographer and worked with magazines as well as individuals. He had made a name for himself when he published a photo spread of two A-list celebrities and their three children a few years back, and he was about as down to earth as a guy could get. “Hawk Pennington, this is Sarah Beckley and her daughter, Lila. You’ve already met Bradley.”
Bradley waved.
Hawk nodded with a friendly smile. “Now I see why Bones asked me to hang back. You have a beautiful family.”
“Thank you. But you really don’t have to take pictures,” she said.
“Pictures are my life.” Hawk glanced at Bones and said, “How about if we get the kids comfortable first. Bones, why don’t you carry Bradley beneath the arch with Sarah and Lila?”
Sarah’s brows knitted again, as if she was puzzling a way out of this. Bones put a hand on her lower back and leaned in closer, whispering, “Relax and enjoy the spotlight, darlin’. If not for yourself, do it for your kids. Show them how special they are.”
There must have been magic in his words, because the smile they brought nearly dropped him to his knees.
“Okay,” she relented, nervously shifting from foot to foot beneath the arch. “Thank you. This was really unnecessary, but very thoughtful.”
Hawk moved around them, taking pictures, and Bones tried to distract Sarah enough for her to relax. He tickled Lila’s chin, earning a heart-melting giggle. “This pretty little lady has a big birthday coming up. Consider it your birthday present.”
“It’s almost Lila’s birthday, not Mommy’s,” Bradley said.
“Yes, but your mommy gave birth to your sister. So really, it’s her birthday, too.” He knew that was too confusing for him, so he said, “Just nod and say ‘good idea.’”
Bradley did just that.
“You guys look great,” Hawk said as he stepped in close, peering through the lens of the camera. “Bones, how about putting Bradley down.”
“Ready, B-boy?”
Bradley nodded, and Bones lowered his feet to the ground. Then he stepped away, and unease crawled over Sarah’s face. That troubled look drew him right back. “How about if I hold Lila and you get a few pictures with Bradley?”
Bones took Lila to the grass and sat down with her, watching as Sarah moved behind Bradley, bringing him against her legs, and she bent to kiss the top of his head. She did that a lot, like she needed to love him up every chance she got. She crouched beside him, gazing into his eyes as Hawk took several pictures, moving as swiftly and silently as the wind. Bones could see he was capturing everything, and his chest felt full knowing Sarah would have these pictures to cherish forever.
“Bradley, why don’t you take your mama onto the grass?” Hawk suggested.
Bradley took Sarah’s hand and led her away from the arch as Hawk took pictures. Bradley plunked down in the grass, and Sarah sat beside him without a care about getting her dress dirty. Why did that speak so loudly to Bones? Lila crawled over to them, and Hawk captured one beautiful moment after the next, while Bones stood nearby, watching. Bradley picked up a leaf from the grass, and he handed it to Sarah. Within a few minutes, Sarah was so lost in enjoying her children, she sat with her legs tucked elegantly beside her, interacting with her children as if she’d forgotten about Hawk altogether.
Lila pulled herself up, clinging to the sleeve of Sarah’s dress and smiling at her big brother. She glanced in Bones’s direction, babbling, “Babababa…”
“Hey there, pretty little lady,” Bones said.
“Bababa…” Lila’s free hand opened and closed, as if she could draw Bones to her with the motion. “Baba!”
In the next second, Lila let go of Sarah’s sleeve and took a step toward Bones, still babbling, grabby fingers reaching for him. It took another two steps before Bones—and Sarah, based on her reaction—realized what was happening, and then their eyes connected. Sarah gasped, tears instantly welling as her baby girl took another wobbly step forward.
“Are you getting this?” Bones asked in a hushed voice to Hawk. “Please tell me you’re getting every damn step.”
“Dude, I’m a pro. I don’t miss anything,” Hawk said, camera at his eye.
Bones went down on one knee, stretching his hands out toward Lila, afraid if he moved closer she’d topple to her bottom. “Come on, baby girl. You’ve got this.”
Adrenaline coursed through his veins with her every step. Sarah wrapped her arm around Bradley, whispering in his ear, Bones assumed to keep him from scaring Lila. Lila wobbled forward, then back, and Bones froze. She plopped onto her bottom, eyes wide. They all cheered, rushing toward Sarah’s magnificent little girl.
Hawk never stopped taking pictures.
Sarah picked up Lila, hugging and kissing her, all of them laughing and commending Lila at the same time. “What a smart girl you are. Good job, baby! You walked!” She lifted watery eyes to Bones, speaking a little softer as she said, “You walked to Bones.”
“She walked to you, Bones!” Bradley chimed in.
“She sure did.” And it was incredible. He’d never felt so much pride, and she wasn’t even his child. He lifted Bradley into his arms and couldn’t resist hugging the three of them.
As he gazed into Sarah’s happy eyes, she said, “She walked to you. That was amazing.”
“She let me in,” he said truthfully. “If I’m lucky, her mama will, too.”