At breakfast the next day, Jordan saw Sam. Digging into a big pile of scrambled eggs, he saw her, laughed, and stood, sweeping her up in a giant bear hug.

“Hey put me down,” she said, laughing, hugging him back.

Sam set her on her feet. “Didn’t recognize you yesterday, sprite. You’ve grown up.”

“And you’re still the same.” She inhaled his scent, woodsy and smoke, like outdoors. Not as enticing as Nolan’s spices and cedar, but still intriguing.

She sat next to him, watching Nolan talk with a few others across the room.

Sam resumed his seat, kept eating. “Surprised to see you back. I thought after you left, you’d be gone for good. And now you’re mated to Nolan? Biggest surprise of all.”

Jordan reached for the pitcher of orange juice, poured herself a glass. “I heard you’ve been on the road as well.”

“Not as long as you have.” Sam focused on his food like a man, or a wolf, with a mission. “Always aimed to return. You? After you rejected Nolan like that, didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”

The delicious juice soured on her tongue as she swallowed. “Broke his heart? I doubt it.”

Sam finally looked at her, his gaze hard. “I understand you wanted to leave, but did you have to be so nasty? Nolan’s my best friend. You hurt him, you hurt me. You hurt the pack.”

She winced. “I wanted to burn my bridges.”

“You blew them up.” Sam shook his head, drained his juice. “Can’t believe Nolan agreed to marry you. If I were here, I’d have advised against it.”

Guilt filled her, as well as anger. “And here I thought you were happy to see me.”

“I am, if you’re here with Nolan for the right reasons.” He gave her a long, thoughtful look. “What’s done is done. All that matters now is making Nolan happy, making this work.”

“Why did you leave, Jordan? You loved it here.” A shadow draped his face. “Thought you loved my best friend, too.”

“I had my reasons.” Reasons too private to tell Sam. How could she, when she couldn’t even share them with Nolan?

Sam frowned. “Doesn’t matter to me. It’s the past. Long as you toe the line here with Nolan, that’s all I care about.”

A smart answer was on the tip of her tongue when the Lupine in question came over to her. Nolan nodded at Sam, but his gaze centered on her. “Forget breakfast, Jordan. I’ve got a surprise for you. We’re leaving in thirty minutes.”

She wondered what he planned now.

Half an hour later, she found out. A picnic in the park? She’d hoped for as much, but he packed no basket, not even a bottle of water as they headed east in his truck toward the national park.

Nolan talked about the pack, about the places they liked to run in the wild as he drove, one arm hanging out the window. Shirt sleeves rolled to show off muscular forearms, he seemed more relaxed than she’d ever seen.

“So why are we here?” she asked. “When’s breakfast?”

“You’ll see.”

He parked the truck in a popular picnic area not far from the entrance. He shut off the ignition and turned to her. “Here in the park, the pack runs wild, but the rules are, we do it where no Skins can see us and no one goes alone. No one. Got it?”

“Yessir.”

His hand tightened on the steering wheel. “Those are the rules, Jordan. There’s reason for them. Safety above all else. This is a popular park and we don’t risk Skins seeing us as wolves.”’

“And you? Do the rules apply to you? You never run alone here?”

No answer. He climbed out of the truck.

“Figures,” she grumbled.

They walked down the hill to a pathway leading to the Little Pigeon River. Children splashed and played in the water, and a black Labrador bounded after them. Green moss coated the thick maple trunks growing near the river. Huge boulders flanked the rushing water, some flat, making good areas to stretch out and relax.

Skins cooked meat over charcoal grills. The smell of grilled chicken made her stomach growl with hunger, reminding Jordan she hadn’t eaten breakfast.

Pride prevented her from saying anything, but Nolan gave her a sideways glance. Blushing, she ignored it.

They descended to a pool of water trapped by rocks near a small waterfall.

“Did you take me here for a picnic?” She gazed around. “Where’s the food?”

Nolan didn’t answer. Instead, he crouched down, staring at the water as if divining secrets. Her stomach growled again.

“I’m so hungry I could eat a Skin,” she muttered.

Still no reaction. What did it take to get a rise out of this guy?’

“Maybe even one of those children. Would you mind? I can grill my own,” she taunted.

Nolan leaned closer to the water. She felt like pushing him in. Gods, she hated being ignored.

“Why are we here anyway? You won’t let me run, or hunt…”

Suddenly his hand shot out. Her jaw dropped as she saw what wriggled in his palm.

A fat trout, scales shiny in the sunlight.

Jordan’s jaw dropped. Nolan glanced at her.

She hadn’t even seen the trout. Admiration filled her. Best not to let him see it or it would feed him even more power over her.

“If that’s breakfast, I don’t like fish,” she told him.

Nolan released the trout and it splashed into the water, swimming away from danger and the wolf’s grip.

Hunger bit at her. “Hey, why did you do that?”

“I already ate breakfast. You need to catch your own.”

“I’m not that quick!”

“Learn.”

Jordan folded her arms. “I don’t know how.”

So calm. He was so damn calm and quiet, his light brown gaze clear and uncompromising. “Do it. It’s in your blood.”

Her blood consisted of rebellion and anger, not patience. Jordan’s stomach rumbled.

“Learn or go hungry.” Nolan dusted off his hands and stood, leaning against a tree trunk.

Fine. I can do this. I’ve done much more complicated things.

She climbed over a fallen tree trunk to access a pool further from where Nolan had caught the trout. Jordan had never fished, but she wasn’t stupid. The trout he’d caught was long gone, and that fishing area tainted.

Hunkering down, she waited. Memories bit of those first lonely days on the road, huddling under dead, dry leaves for warmth at night, trying to wash away her scent by sticking to the river so Nolan couldn’t track her…

Or worse – Bryce.

Fishing in the river as wolf.

Being chased by Skins with guns who thought she was a coyote after their livestock.

Jordan waited. A flash of shiny scales, the wriggle of a fin…

Her hand shot out, almost of its own accord. When she drew it out of the water, the trout wriggled in it.

She beamed at Nolan. “I did it!”

He gave her a long, slow smile. “Knew you would.”

Something in that smile shattered her stubborn resolve to distance herself. That smile scared her more than his silence because it provided a connection she didn’t want.

Jordan dropped the fish into the water. Nolan blinked in apparent surprise.

“Bye fish, swim free.” I’m not free. I never will be free.

“What in tarnation did you do that for?” he demanded.

Finally, a reaction. She shrugged. “I told you, I don’t like fish.”

Nolan stared at her a good long minute. Suddenly he threw back his head and laughed. It was such a charming, warm-hearted sound that the Skins cooking on the grill above them peered down.

Jordan only felt more confusion. He should be angry. “Why are you amused?”

“You always were a prideful lil thing,” he mused. “That hasn’t changed. Reminds me of the time when Dad refused to let you leave the main dining hall during the monthly pack dinner until you ate your beef. I came down for a midnight snack and you were still there. Meat on your plate congealing in sauce. What were you, all of five years old?”

She broke into a reluctant smile. “He’d caved and dismissed me two hours before, but I wasn’t about to break. It was a test of wills, until you showed up and carried me off to bed.”

They both fell silent. The memory of that night had stamped deep into her conscience. Nolan had asked his father to carry her upstairs, and then Craig had tucked her into bed and kissed her good-night on her cheek. Nolan had remained at her bedside, singing until her eyes fluttered closed.

For the first time since arriving at the Mitchell pack in Tennessee after being orphaned, Jordan had felt hope that maybe things could work out.

How wrong she’d been.

She rubbed her arms, suddenly cold as a different memory overtook her. “How much longer do we have to stay here?”

Shock filled her as he approached, enfolding her in his strong embrace. “You’re shivering,” he murmured. “I’ll take you back the long way and we’ll stop at a restaurant in town. Lots of rare beef.”

The warmth of his body and the gentleness of his tone nearly undid her. If she broke, it wouldn’t be from Nolan’s gruffness and reticence, but his kindness.

Yet it had been too long since anyone had held her with such gentle consideration, had taken the least bit of care with her. So for a few minutes she remained in his arms, resting in them.

“Maybe we should hunt our own,” she murmured, glancing up at him.

Teasing him.

Daring him.

Not giving him a chance to think, she tore off, her nimble feet using the rocks to cross the river. Jordan kept running through the woods, hearing his frustrated growl behind her. Laughing, she pressed deeper into the forest and when she felt confident no Skins were around, she shifted.

This time the shifting came easier, bones and muscles strengthening and lengthening. Wolf sense exploded in her mind, her hearing and sight sharpened. She paused to sniff the old scat of a rabbit, and then looked up to see a large, muscular wolf bearing down upon her.

Wagging her tail, Jordan took off again.

Zigging and zagging, she bounded through the woods, crashing through brush. Her paws raced silently over the dead leaves and forest floor, until she came to a clearing where a mighty oak had fallen.

Pausing to catch her breath, she barely had the chance to sniff her surroundings when the big wolf was atop her.

He wrestled with her, growling playfully, nipping at her hindquarters as if to punish her for running off. Jordan yipped, writhing beneath him.

And then she shifted back, panting, staring up at a pair of intense caramel eyes and a set of wide, firm human lips. Those lips pulled back into a knowing smile.

“Caught you,” Nolan said in a husky voice. “Time to take your punishment for running off on me.”

He levered off her, and pulled her to her feet. Jordan didn’t bother with clothing. She undulated her hips and tossed her long, red hair.

Naked, he pressed her against a tree trunk, and kissed her hard. Nolan kept kissing her, dropping kisses on her neck and she groaned with pleasure.

His mouth encircled her nipple and she clutched his head as he sucked hard. Cupping her ass with his hands, he lifted her and settled between her opened legs. His shaft was thick and hard, and Nolan kept kissing her as his penis sought the soft opening between her folds.

Whimpering she urged him inside her. With a triumphant grunt, he thrust deep.

She wanted him so much she couldn’t stand it. Jordan wrapped her arms around his neck, biting back a cry as his hips pistoned back and forth, his shaft gliding in and out of her soaked core. It was hot, passionate sex. Nothing more. Sex with her mate.

Not love, she told herself as he penetrated deeper, one hand dropping between them to finger her clit. Closing her eyes, she let sensation overwhelm her. It felt wild and free, making love out here in the forest, the sky above them and the dank, rich scent of the forest perfuming the air.

Feelings gushed inside her and orgasm slammed into her. Jordan buried her cry in the crook of his neck as Nolan shuddered, spilling his seed deep. He kept climaxing, his hot seed sending renewed orgasms shooting through her.

Finally, exhausted, they clung to each other, his seed and her dampness trickling down her leg.

Nolan kissed her gently, then pulled out. Taking her hand, he led her over to the banks of a small creek trickling nearby. Still naked, he crouched down, splashed cold water on his face, and then playfully splashed her.

“Hey,” she protested.

Impish mischief glinted in his eyes. “Let’s run again. Loser has to sit shotgun.”

“Like you’re going to lose? I don’t know where we’re going.”

“Follow me, pixie. Can’t go wrong if you’re with me.”

Before she could shoot back a jibe, he shifted and took off. Jordan shifted back, racing after him. They raced through the forest until he heard the sharp crunch of leaves underfoot. Skins hiking.

Jordan shifted back so quickly her head spun. Nearby, Nolan shifted as well. He clothed himself by magick, but in her panic, she fumbled. Still naked, she stared at him in panic as the hikers drew closer. A flash of red through the trees, laughter riding the air, they were going to see her.

See her and question. Her hand touched the tattoo on her back. Memories of that other time in the woods, when a hot knife drew across her skin. Imaginary pain flared.

Grunting, Nolan shrugged out of his button-down shirt and draped it around her. Then he drew her into his arms, kissing her deeply. She kissed him back, trying to control the frantic pounding of her heart. Knew what he was doing.

Sure enough, the nearby hikers stopped. One coughed and said, “Uh, excuse us.”

Jordan’s eyes remained tightly shut as embarrassed laughter and footsteps drew away. Finally Nolan broke the kiss and looked down at her. His mouth was red, wet and tipped up in a smile.

“Close call. You okay?”

Jordan clutched his shirt. “Yeah. I forgot for a minute how to summon clothing.”

“Need help?” He smoothed back a lock of her hair.

Maybe. What if she couldn’t do it? Jordan’s mind went blank. Giving a breathless laugh, she shook her head. “Give me a minute.”

After handing back his shirt, she closed her eyes, hoping this time it would work. Jordan waved a hand, forcing the magick to surge, imagining herself in clothing suitable for hiking in the outdoors.

Wind brushed against her bare skin. Wasn’t working.

“Jordan,” his deep voice said.

“A minute,” she snapped. Oh please, let it work this time.

When she opened her eyes, she was clad in jeans, a mulberry sweater and hiking boots.

Her lower lip wobbled. “Sometimes I feel so empty. It’s hard for me to concentrate on the magick.”

Nolan gathered her into his arms, passion gone from his expression, replaced with concern. “What’s wrong, pixie? Talk to me.”

Jordan shook her head and buried her head against his shoulder. “Nothing. Just hold me.”

For a moment, he did as she tensed against him, wishing she had the nerve to finally confide in him.

It was Nolan who finally pulled away. “Let’s go.”

From gentle to terse, rugged alpha. The switch bewildered her. Jordan shrugged again to hide her feelings.

I can survive on my own. I don’t need you or anyone else.

Maybe if she kept telling herself that, she’d start believing it.

As promised, Nolan took her to a restaurant for a late breakfast. As she ate, he sipped tea and watched her.

Jordan chased a bit of sausage around her plate with her fork. “Tell me about the vineyard, Nolan. What kind of problems are you facing with this fungus?”

He sat back against the booth. “None yet. Managed to fend it off by pruning. Bigger problem is the Harlow pack.”

“You can try pruning them.”

Snorting, he set down his tea cup. “Negotiation’s more like it.”

“Tell me.”

Nolan rubbed the back of his neck. “Never mind that. I need to stop at one of our wine stores. It’s a small store in Dillsboro for the tourists who ride the train there in the summer and fall. Red Porch Wines.”

“Must I go with you?”

Expression blank, Nolan nodded. “Yes.”

“Can’t you send someone else? That’s out of our way.”

Nolan’s caramel gaze darkened. “No. Store’s run by Hetty, a longtime employee. Need to convince her to reduce her hours. She took a nasty spill last week.”

“Oh.” Jordan wondered about the myriad of problems Nolan juggled. “Anything I can help with?”

Nolan gestured for the check. “Nothing for you to worry about.”

In the truck as they headed out, she turned. “Talk to me, Nolan. I’m your mate now. What affects you, affects me.”

Jaw tightening, he stared at the tree-flanked road, the sweeping vistas as they passed scenic viewpoints.

She tried again to engage him in talk about the farm. “Who are you sending to work in the winery today? Palmer, Todd and Logan? They’re young enough, arrogant, could learn a few things from Galen.”

The three Lupines were only two years younger than Nolan, who was young himself. Yet they lacked Nolan’s maturity.

He shook his head. “I need those boys in the vineyard. They’re good workers, when they’re not arrogant and full of themselves or busy taking selfies and putting themselves on Instagram.”

She laughed. “Lupine selfies. At least they’re too busy taking selfies to challenge your authority.”

“They’re not. Palmer and Todd wanted to fight me last month.”

Alarm filled her. “For control of the pack?”

He nodded. “I put a stop to it with two things.”

Raising his hands off the wheel, he curled them into fists. “One and two. Took ten minutes before they cowered and apologized.”

“I have no doubt you could easily lick ‘em,” she murmured as he gripped the steering wheel once more. “You’re bigger and stronger and they’re dumber than a bag of rocks.”

He grinned.

Still, it worried her that Nolan had younger Lupines itching to move up in power and take over the pack.

“What’s your biggest problem? Controlling the pack?” Jordan pressed.

Nolan’s muscular arm tightened as he gripped the steering wheel. “Arson.”

Her breath hitched. She knew that fire had been a concern in the past, but ones deliberately set? “How many?”

Nolan’s gaze flicked to her. “Too many. Someone’s been setting fires in my territory. The Fae have managed to put them out, but my gut says it’s a matter of time before it gets out of control and burns. Reason why I’ve arranged a meeting with Brandon Harlow and Adam. It’s talk now or war.”

Jordan frowned. “Why would they burn forest that borders theirs? It’s so risky. Your father was always quarreling with their alpha. But they have Brandon now. That Lupine more reasonable than his father?”

Nodding, Nolan rubbed the back of his neck. “Things are still tense between our people. Feud’s been going on many years and that’s hard to forget. They might have set fires near our land to threaten our territory. No one in our pack would risk losing their home.”

Troubling news. An out-of-control wildfire could destroy all in its path.

“I can help flush out the arsonist,” she offered.

“How?”

Jordan rubbed her nails on her shirt. “I’ll sit every last one of them down and have a little talk, Jordan style. You know, the way I’d do it in the past.”

Nolan’s mouth twitched, but he shook his head. “Threatening to spike their dinner with cayenne pepper isn’t the answer. Stay out of it. I’ll handle this.”

He said little more during the drive, preferring to crank up the country tunes he played on his iPod in the truck. Jordan put her feet on the dash, not caring that her boots marked the fine leather. She resented his silence, resented the way he ordered her around, even though deep inside, she suspected he wasn’t being mean.

Just… Nolan.

Nolan who was probably told by his cousin Aiden how to keep her in line.

When they pulled into Dillsboro, the small town charmed her. People thronged the narrow streets, eating ice cream cones, shopping and sightseeing. The train, a big steam locomotive, idled on the tracks that paralleled a slow-moving river flanked by trees. It was all country and homey and rustic.

Nolan parked in the driveway next to the store with a bright red sign saying RED PORCH WINES. A red bistro table and lopsided chairs sat on the grass. The store was ancient, with a faded red porch, red rocking chairs and two wood tables painted like sunflowers. Bay windows displayed wineglasses, bottles and dolls.

“I get the wine and glasses. But dolls?” she asked as they started up the walkway to the store.

“They’re from Hetty’s personal collection. She takes pride in this store.”

Jordan squinted at the crude hand-lettered sign outside the red screen door. “Goat cheese. Seven types,” she read aloud. “You don’t sell the goat to eat? I like goat.”

Nolan said nothing, only held open the door for her.

A petite, gray-haired woman limped out of the back room, saw Nolan and cried out. Grinning, he scooped her up into his arms.

“Hey there, pretty lady,” he said in his deep voice. “How’s that sore hip of yours?”

“Ain’t nothing but a little bruise, young fellow.” the woman smiled at Jordan, peering over the tops of her half-glasses. “And who’s this beautiful Lupine?”

“Hetty, meet my mate, Jordan.” He drew Jordan forward. “Jordan, this is Hetty, my girlfriend.”

“Oh pooh, stop it now,” she chided, but a delighted smile touched the elderly lady’s face. “Pleasure to meet you, dear. I’ve been friends with Nolan’s grandmother since we were cubs.”

Smiling, Jordan shook her hand. “Pleasure to meet you, m’am. And you run this store by your lonesome?”

She caught Nolan’s troubled look as Hetty’s smile faltered. “For as long as I could. I’m afraid business is falling lately. I suppose I’ll have to retire soon when Nolan sells.”

“Don’t say the R word,” he told her, lightly squeezing the woman’s paper thin hand. “While I’m here, let’s take a look at your inventory. Got a mind to send you some of our special summer wine.”

Hetty’s relief was obvious. She beamed at him. “That summer wine has magick.”

“It certainly does,” Jordan murmured.

The woman brought her a tray filled with two wineglasses, a bottle of red wine and gouda cheese. “Here, dear. Sit outside a spell while we go over the books. It’s a lovely day. When Nolan is finished, he can join you.”

Jordan was tempted to object and tell Hetty she could help. One of her jobs on the road had been bookkeeping. But she sensed this was a delicate matter, one Nolan wanted to discuss with his employee in private.

She sat on a red rocker, tempted to put her feet up on the red porch railing, but thought better of it. Hetty seemed like a sweet lady.

Nolan, on the other hand… Hard to provoke a reaction out of him. Maybe if she shifted into a wolf here on the porch he’d be surprised.

Staring at the steam locomotive on the tracks next to the shop, she thought better of it. With dozens of Skins milling about, wandering in and out of shops, they might get alarmed at a redheaded woman turning into a wolf.

On the other hand, her mate surprised her. Nolan had always been quiet, with an easy grin and a slow-rising temper. Respectful and dutiful, but ready to run off and have fun and break the rules if she egged him on. He cared about her, and his family, but never voiced any concern over his aging grandparents.

This consideration for his elders showed a new, mature side of the alpha. Absorbing the responsibility of being pack leader had changed him.

She liked that change, liked how he didn’t dismiss the elderly as his father once had. Craig had seen to their needs, but hadn’t exactly made them feel welcome in the pack, either. It had felt like Nolan’s father preferred to shutter them away so he wouldn’t have to see them daily.

See them and be reminded of his own eventual fate as he grew older.

Well, the fool certainly prevented that when he broke his neck in that stupid spring tradition. She had healthy respect for traditions that didn’t risk life and limb or hurt others.

Such as the disciplining of the pack’s young. That job should be left to the parents, not the alpha.

Jordan sipped her berry wine, enjoying the taste against her tongue. She nibbled on cheese as the screen door opened and Nolan stepped out.

He took the rocking chair next to her and poured himself a glass of wine. “Hetty’s resting a spell in the back.”

For once, she remained silent, sensing he needed to talk. Jordan waited.

Nolan drained his wine and slammed down the glass, cracking it. “It shouldn’t be like this. She should be set up in a cozy cabin or the lodge, entertaining passels of young and passing on her wisdom. Not working on her feet here, alone.”

“Why does she do it?”

“Pride and fear.” He took the cracked glass, pitched it into the outdoor trash can below the porch. “My father told her that as long as she was able to work in a store, she was worthy of staying in the pack. Nothing I can say will convince her otherwise.

“The ghost of my father haunts older members of the pack. They’re too scared to change.”

“Maybe they’re scared of losing their independence. Hetty doesn’t live with the pack and maybe if she did, she’d start feeling useless and wither away.”

Nolan’s caramel gaze grew thoughtful. “Never thought of it that way. I’ve offered to bring in help, but she insists on doing this alone.”

“Then change your tactics, Mitchell. If she’s that proud she won’t accept help. But sure as shooting I bet she’d accept young trainees eager to learn the retail side of the business.”

He blinked, and a warm smile touched his full mouth. “Pixie, you’re brilliant.”

Jordan blushed. “Naw. I just worked with the elderly for a while and know how they are with pride and fear of losing their independence. Skins and Lupines aren’t much different in that regard.”

He fished out his cell phone and barked instructions into it. As he hung up, Nolan looked at her with fresh appreciation. “Ben and his mate, Maggie, will be here by morning. I’ll tell Hetty. Thanks.”

They rocked a while, enjoying the fresh air and cool breeze. “Where did you work with the elderly?” Nolan asked.

Jordan sipped her wine. “In a nursing home out west. They were in desperate need of attendants and I was in desperate need of money.”

“You never told me what you did those six years you were gone from us.”

No, because that part of my life isn’t pretty. She shrugged. “Moved around a lot, did a bunch of odd jobs, sometimes working for fast food stores. Easy to fudge a job application for minimum wage or get paid under the table. Stuff like waiting tables or picking fruit. Tried to avoid Lupine packs, but I managed to run with the moon by my lonesome now and then.”

“You liked the taste of freedom, but not the freedom of living with pack.”

Nolan’s deep voice held no accusations, but the words made her uneasy. “Not really. I avoided other packs because I still held loyalty to yours. Just couldn’t come home.”

“Why?” He turned to look at her. “When are you going to tell me what happened that drove you away? Was it Bryce?”

Jordan stiffened, the glass halfway to her mouth. Her heart pounded and she tried to control her emotions. The mere mention of his brother’s name filled her with rage and grief.

She shrugged again. “Maybe I just needed to find myself. I had no parents, no real blood ties and I needed to explore.”

Judging from his expression, Nolan didn’t believe her.

When they were back in the truck and headed home, she kept the talk to mundane topics, like the winery and the business. Yet inside, she mulled over confiding in him about her issues with shifting into wolf on pack land.

“You have a selfless devotion burning inside you, Nolan. You truly care about your people.” She tapped her fingers on one knee to the rhythm of the song playing on his iPod. “It’s not a power trip like it was with your father.”

Nolan fell silent a moment and she feared she’d offended him somehow. Then he turned down the music and spoke quietly, his deep voice reverberating in the truck’s cab.

“My father wasn’t a great Lupine, Jordan. Keep trying to tell myself he was, but he had many faults. Since I took control of the pack two years ago, I’ve come to realize that. Hetty was just one example of a wrong that should have been made right.”

For once, she listened, not saying anything as words poured out of him. By the time they pulled into the lodge’s driveway, she had new understanding of the challenges he faced.

Not only trying to live up to his father’s reputation as a tough alpha who brooked no disobedience, but also dealing with younger Lupines opposing him and hinting they could run the pack.

He parked the truck and turned to her, gaze solemn. “It’s always something, Jordan. Some days I feel like I’m riding a roller coaster, going three hundred miles an hour and no one’s going to stop it.”

She placed her hand over his, feeling the strength and the rough hairs feathering the back. “You’re not alone, Nolan. Let me help you. You took on a role you weren’t ready for, but you’ve handled it. Nothing says you have to do everything exactly as your father did.”

He nodded. “Got a point there.”

Nolan scratched his chin, day beard bristles evident. “Full moon soon. I’m looking forward to running with you. Our first time out leading the pack together.”

His confident smile filled with warmth filled her with dread.

“Nolan, there’s something you should know about me,” she began.

They were interrupted by Sam, approaching the truck, his expression grim. Nolan rolled down his window.

“Nolan, you need to decide about the monthly run beneath the moon next week,” Sam told him. “The pack is worried about leaving the little ones behind and guarding the lodge. I can arrange for security, but you’d better reassure them and calm them down.”

“I’ll call a meeting.” Nolan withdrew his cell phone. “In one hour. In the basement. Let’s go over the security details now and prepare assignments.”

He glanced at her, expression apologetic. “Sorry. I have to handle this.”

“Of course,” she said politely.

Jordan climbed out of the truck, slamming the door behind her. Pack first, always.

Would she always come in second in his life? And what would he say when he found out she refused to run with the pack beneath the moon?

Jordan arrived two minutes late. She slipped into the room in the basement set up as a meeting space, careful to close the door quietly behind her. Nolan didn’t tolerate lateness, but it was the first official meeting since her arrival, and she’d spent an extra five minutes fussing over her hair.

Standing at the back, she spied the dais where Nolan stood to conduct business. Sam sat at a table next to the podium, along with a few other Lupines she recognized as being senior pack members.

There were two empty seats in the middle of a crowded row, but she stood near the door, hoping Nolan would see her and invite her to join them on the dais. He was her mate. Maybe his father hadn’t given Nolan’s mother a place of honor to show the pack they were equals, but times were different now.

Weren’t they?

She waited for Nolan to call on her.

A minute passed, and he did not.

Nolan drummed his fingers on the podium. “If everyone will be seated, we’ll get started. Jordan, find an empty chair.”

She forced a smile as people turned to look at her. Inside, she died. Jordan squeezed past three young, smirking men to get to the empty seat, nearly tripping over someone’s big clodhopper shoes. Someone tittered.

Never had she felt more alienated than she did now. It was as if she were invisible.

The polite fuss everyone made at the wedding had vanished. The pack regarded her with caution, most of them giving her covert gazes and frowns.

Then she saw Shirl and Erica and knew why. Her former friends were talking behind her back. That little scene on the pathway hadn’t helped.

Reading from a clipboard, Nolan began the meeting, giving out assignments for the upcoming run beneath the moon. Her stiffness increased as she realized he mentioned her name.

“As tradition dictates, Jordan and I will lead the hunt in five days.”

All heads turned to stare at her.

Her smile slipped. Damn, this was so not the attention she wanted. Shifting into wolf in front of the pack? All those times when she’d had trouble came to mind.

Would they laugh at her, or dismiss her when she couldn’t shapeshift into a wolf?

Without missing a beat, he pressed on, lowering the clipboard. “Now for announcements. Anyone have anything to tell the pack?”

A blonde Lupine and a dark-haired man stood. Jordan vaguely remembered her. Karen, who was two years older than Jordan.

“I recognize you, Karen. And Mike. Yes?” Nolan said.

Karen waved and blushed. “I, I mean, Mike and me, have an announcement. I’m pregnant.”

Cries of delight followed, along with hearty congratulations from Nolan, who invited them up to the dais. He hugged Karen, and clapped Mike on the back.

Everyone applauded.

Seeing her mate’s easy grin and the fuss made over the happy couple made Jordan feel lonelier than ever.

You pay more attention to your people than you do to me. Would it have been so terrible to call out my name, have me join you up there?

If she didn’t speak out and address this, she remained guilty as Nolan. How could he know her wishes if she didn’t voice them?

“Anyone else have anything to say before we adjourn to the dining hall and toast Karen and Mike’s news?” Nolan asked.

Now or never. Jordan stood. “I do.”

Nolan’s expression remained guarded. “I recognize you, Jordan.”

She looked around. “First, I apologize for being late. I had to fix my hair. Got it right tangled and messy and I looked worse than a wolf tangling with a porcupine.”

Smiles broke out and a few chuckles. Good. Nolan’s broad shoulders relaxed a little.

“Second, I want to thank y’all for attending our wedding. It was real good to see you all again, and have you there on our special day.”

More smiles and nods.

“Third,” she looked directly at Nolan. “Now that I’m Nolan’s mate and the alpha female, I believe my place isn’t in the audience, but at his side during meetings. On the dais. What do you say, mate of mine?”

A few gasps and shocked looks. Nolan’s hand tightened on the gavel. “Females have never been allowed on the dais during meetings, unless they are on the committees. The alpha female’s place is in the audience amongst the pack, not up here.”

“Why?” she blurted out.

“It’s tradition.” His knuckles turned white as he nearly cracked the gavel.

“Simply because it’s a tradition isn’t an excuse.” Jordan folded her arms across her chest. “Invite me up to join you on the dais.”

Everyone stared at her, and then Nolan.

His jaw tightened. “Sit down, Jordan.”

She stared at him.

He growled. “Sit. Now.”

Jordan sat. The crowd murmured, looking at Nolan with respect. Jordan’s stomach roiled with anger and embarrassment as Erica and Shirl glanced her way and smirked.

“If there’s no further new business, we’re adjourned.” Nolan slammed the gavel on the podium, and everyone got up to leave.

Pushing her way out of the crowd, she headed for the door, wishing she had never agreed to return to the Mitchell pack.

And Nolan, who honored his relationship with the past more than he honored her.

The needs of the pack must come before his own needs.

Including his need for his mate. Nolan hated this, but as alpha, he had little choice.

Pack first, was the family saying. And now Jordan was angry with him over it.

She hadn’t shown up at the congratulatory toast for the newly pregnant couple. When he went upstairs to find her, she told him she was tired and wanted to rest. Not hungry. Jordan, for the first time since her arrival, turned away from him.

He’d had to go downstairs and make excuses for her. Nolan was more worried about Jordan slipping away, growing disenchanted with pack life.

Leaving.

He tried one more time at dinner, hoping to coax her downstairs. But Jordan pretended to be asleep as he entered the bedroom.

Pausing with his hand on the light switch, he spoke quietly. “If you get hungry later, I’ll have a tray brought to our room.”

He went into the dining hall, but had little appetite. Spotting Sam in the corner by himself, he walked to his table.

Sam dug into his prime rib. “Where’s your bride?”

“Resting upstairs.” Nolan looked around. Most of the pack had elected to eat here tonight at the same time, even the families who had their own cabins apart from the lodge.

“You wore her out last night. Poor thing.” Sam winked.

Nolan laughed, but it sounded forced even to his ears.

But his friend, who had always seen through him, sharpened his gaze. Sam pointed to the empty chair. “Talk to me.”

Nolan pulled out the chair, reversed it and straddled it, resting his arms on the back. He lowered his voice. “She challenged my authority at the meeting and I had to stop it. Think her feelings are hurt.”

“You did what you had to. Soon as the youngsters in the pack sniffed out that you were vulnerable, they’d jump all over you.”

Nolan snorted. “Youngsters? Palmer and Todd are barely two years younger than me.”

“Which makes it even more important to stay strong to yourself and your agenda.”

“Last month, my agenda didn’t include having a mate, let alone a strong-willed one.”

“Jordan’s a wild wolf. She’ll always follow her own way. When you two were kids, that path was your path. Things have changed.” Sam sipped his sweet tea. “She’s been a loner for six years and that means adjusting to this pack’s rules and your life. If she had stayed, you both would have grown together.”

“Or not.” Not if she truly was in love with Bryce. Yet he wondered about that. When Bryce heard Jordan had left, he laughed and said ‘Good riddance.’

“Point is, it’s your pack now.” Sam gave him a level look, wise beyond his 30 years. “You run it as best as you see it. I know it, and I’m here to support you. Jordan should as well.”

“Thanks.” He appreciated that support coming from Sam, considering his friend had left because the long-ruling alpha had died.

“You have to give it a chance, Nolan. When your father died, it tore our pack apart. We were wolves chasing our own tails, trying to make sense of the fact our leader was gone. You should have had more time to grow into the job of alpha. You didn’t. So if you have to be tougher than normal, you do it.”

“It is what it is.” Nolan looked around the dining hall. “I did what I had to, and I’ll keep doing it. But I don’t want to lose her again, Sam. She turns me inside out and upside down, but the thought of her walking out that door and never coming back tears me up.”

“You’re in love,” Sam noted. “That’s what love does to you. Felt the same with my sweetheart, and then she left with her folks for Alaska. That ended that. You think I’d want to feel that again, the torment and the agony of a broken heart?”

Nolan fell silent a moment. “That’s why you really left the pack. It was Zoe. Not my father’s death.”

Sam nodded. “Wanted to tell you, but you were overwhelmed at the time with being the new alpha. I felt bad for abandoning you, Nolan, but I couldn’t stay. Not with all those memories here. That’s the real reason I wanted the job as your beta. Figured it would take my mind off Zoe.”

“I understand.” He did, too. Except he didn’t have the luxury of packing his bags and hoping to erase memories on the road. He was the alpha.

Sam gestured to the table. “You eating? I’ll get them to fetch a plate for you.”

“Not tonight.” A restlessness claimed him. “Going for a run. I’m going to hunt for my dinner the old-fashioned way.”

He saluted his friend and left the dining hall. Todd and Palmer sat on the porch, whispering. They saw him, smirked.

Nolan could read their body language. They’d seen what happened at the meeting, and saw Jordan as a weak link in his chain. He ground to a halt and turned.

“You got a problem?” he asked.

“No alpha,” Todd said, lowering his gaze.

Nolan regarded them both for a long moment. “If you’re done with dinner, go help in the kitchen.”

Palmer sputtered. “That’s women’s work!”

“You eat the food, you help clean up.”

They both sulked, but stood. And then they walked over to the stairs, as if to leave.

Nolan shifted into his wolf, bolted for the stairs, blocking their exit. Baring his teeth, he snarled at them.

“Okay, okay!” Todd held up his hands. “We’re going!”

Nolan herded them toward the kitchen door, following them inside. He shifted back into Skin, clothing himself by magick, and pointed to the stacks of dishes waiting to be loaded into the dishwasher.

He waited until they began working and then gave Dan, the head of the kitchen staff, a pointed look. Dan nodded. “No worries, alpha. I’ll make sure they’re here until we’re finished.”

He nodded and went outside, shifting into his wolf and leapt over the railing, landing two stories below on four paws. Gasps sounded from those watching above. Good. Let them see he was no weak Lupine who couldn’t rule the pack.

They were always watching him, testing him to see if he was strong enough to lead them. The bolder ones, like Palmer and Todd, liked to expose his weaknesses.

Jordan sure was one of them. She vexed him.

As always, the shift energized him. Smells exploded in his nostrils and the wind ruffled his dark fur as he raced toward the woods.

Nolan hunted, flushing out a rabbit that thought to have a snack on the lettuce in their vegetable garden. After eating, he ran through the woods to rid himself of the restless itch he’d had until Jordan came back into his life.

That itch calmed down when they were making love. When they had sex, he felt peaceful in his own skin for a change. Their bedroom was a haven from the pressures of pack and business, where he could lose himself in his mate’s soft body and her welcoming arms.

Picking up her scent near the path leading to the stables, he sniffed the ground, tracking her scent, the male instinct to protect, claim and hold riding him strong. He loped over to a tree and lifted his leg, marking it. Did the same with a few other trees as a warning to Todd, Palmer and the other males.

Growling, he ran through the woods until reaching the family cemetery. Nolan shifted back into skin, clothed himself by magick. He went to his father’s grave, sat by the stone. Throat tight with emotion, he ran a hand over the rough edged letters.

Damn he missed his father and yet did not miss him, a tough alpha who always had answers for everything. He resented Craig for his toughness, but after his father passed, understood the reasons why.

It took a strong alpha to lead a pack of wolves.

“I keep screwing up with her, Dad,” he confessed. “Jordan is wearing on me, tearing the pack apart with her ways. She wants to rip apart all the old traditions that glued us together for generations.”

No answers but tree frogs and cicadas making their night music, and the soft rustle of leaves driven by the wind.

“I don’t know what to do,” he muttered, burying his head in his hands. “I don’t know how to handle her anymore. If I break her spirit, she’ll wither. But she’s wild and feral and I can’t control her.”

A free spirit. He’d always loved that about her. Why change her now?

Because she’s an adult now, and different.

While he liked those changes in her, and the spark for life she always had, he sensed she hid something important from him. And that something was the reason she kept rebelling against him, and their mating.

Their relationship. Maybe even it was the reason why she’d been threatened with shifter prison itself. Tristan told him Jordan had tried to burn down a Skin house where a young boy was beaten.

Her reasons were good, even if her actions had been dangerous.

Why was she acting this way?

Something happened. He didn’t know what. Did it have to do with the real reason she left?

The sex on the first night of their mating had been terrific. And then, when he went to take her in the traditional Lupine mating position, to put his mating mark on her and claim her as his own, she’d fought him.

He’d never force her, but her reluctance had startled him. At first he’d blamed her fierce independent streak.

Nolan touched the gravestone again and had a flash of insight.

What if it wasn’t independence, but something else? Something that happened in the past?

Maybe that was why she set fire to the Skin house. Seeing the boy beaten reminded Jordan of an abuse she’d suffered.

Not the strappings she’d endured at his father’s hand. Craig had been harsh, but those punishments were limited for young Lupines. Jordan had always recovered, especially after Nolan soothed her.

Recovered to be her normal, high-spirited self, laughing and joking with him. Not this reckless Lupine driven to wild impulses.

Dangerous impulses.

Maybe something else happened to her those years she’d been gone from the pack. Another male had abused her.

His hands curled into fists. If another male had touched her without Jordan’s permission, had dared to hurt her…

A growl rumbled deep in his throat. I’ll find you and kill you for hurting my Jordan.

But he had no clue. How could he track down Jordan’s attacker, if there was one, if she refused to talk about it?

Maybe she’s loathe to talk to you about it, but she’d talk to another woman about it. Her former friends don’t like her anymore, and she doesn’t have any female companions, not since Nia left. Maybe she’d confide in them.

He ruminated over it.

Nolan dragged in a deep breath, shifted back into wolf and headed home.

When he changed back into Skin and climbed the stairs to their bedroom, he heard cries coming from the bedroom. Alarmed, he raced inside.

Jordan lay on the bed, thrashing on the covers, sobbing.

Nolan tore over to the bed, stroking her forehead. “Honey, wake up, wake up.”

The thrashing and horrific sobs stopped. Jordan blinked hard and sat up, clutching the sheet to her breasts.

“Oh.” She rubbed her head. “Guess I fell asleep.”

“What happened to you?” Nolan wiped away another tear, gentling his voice. “Why are you crying in your sleep, sweetheart? Why are you having nightmares? Did something happen?”

Jordan squeezed her eyes shut and for once, did not speak.

“Please talk to me,” he urged.

Finally she shrugged. “It was just a silly dream.”

He knew her stubborn streak, knew she didn’t want to discuss it. Nolan felt helpless to comfort her with words. So he reached out, gently pulled her into his arms. She stiffened, but did not attempt to draw away.

Nolan rubbed his cheek against her head. Sex always made things better, in his opinion, but right now she needed affection, not physical pleasure.

“Tomorrow, you and I are going on a special visit. Just the two of us.”

Jordan shrugged again. “Whatever. I’m tired. Good night.”

Troubled, he tugged off his clothing and slid between the covers. For the first time since their mating, he did not have sex with her.

Nolan didn’t know what to do with Jordan.

Surely his beloved grandmother would have answers.