Dear Santa, What was I thinking...?

Shae watched Aidan watching her as she tried to process the words he’d just said. Was he sweating as bad as she was? Was his stomach turning over too? She was flirting too much. She knew it and she was being too honest. Another trait of Kenney women. Light, hilarious, yet blunt honesty. Shae could always rely on her own honesty, but it was truly a crapshoot when it came to how others responded to it. Harvin had loved that part of her personality at first, until it came time for him to deal with his own truth. Shae mentally shook off the unpleasant thoughts of her unpleasant ex-husband and turned her focus back to the issue at hand. Aidan wanted nudes. Her nudes.

“I’m sorry,” he said a second later. “I didn’t mean it—”

“No, don’t apologize. I have a question about the nudes though.”

“How can you have a question for me? The nudes were your idea,” Aidan laughed.

“I know! But say I wanted to send you nudes. Like if I wanted to send them to you specifically.”

“Right. Okay. You’re sending me nudes. What’s the question?”

“Would you send nudes back?”

Aidan tilted his chin up a bit and let out a “Hmmmm...”

“See! This is why I have follow-up questions. I’d be out here sending nudes and getting ‘Hmmmms’ in return,” Shae joked. Kinda. She was definitely sweating, not on her forehead or anything. She was just hot all over from nerves. She took another swig of her drink. In over her head didn’t even describe it. Agreeing to this date was a bad idea. She was not ready to be out in the playing field or whatever you call it.

“I was just thinking of how to frame my response so I didn’t come off like a complete dirtbag,” Aidan replied. “If you were sending me nudes, I would be happy to send you nudes in return, if you wanted nudes from me. I know women don’t like unsolicited dick pics.”

“That is true. So if we decided, like mutually, to send each other nudes—”

“Mhmm. Go on.” His eyes narrowed behind his thick framed glasses. Shae didn’t know what to make of it, so she just kept talking.

“Right. So we’re adults and shit, right? And we can decide to send each other nudes. Is that something that you could possibly be interested in doing?”

“Yes,” he replied calmly.

“Okay.”

“If that’s something you’re interested in doing.”

“Can I be honest? If I had known it was this easy to get naked pictures of you, I would have asked years ago.” Shae smiled as a burst of laughter erupted from Aidan.

“Well, I think timing is an important factor here. I think your marriage would have ended for completely different reasons if I was sending you nudes years ago. Can I ask you one thing? Before we get back to the nudes, I mean.”

“Please.” I need to stop talking anyway, she almost added.

“Would you like to go out on a second date with me?”

“Yes. I would and this time you can actually plan it. And I’ll make sure I run my errands beforehand.”

“Fair enough. But I don’t mind if you need to stop into CVS for something.”

“I’ll make a list before you pick me up.”

“Deal. Before we get back to the nudes, there’s one more thing I have been wanting to do for a few years.”

“What’s that?” Shae asked. A second later it clicked. Shae froze as Aidan moved the plates between them and slid to the middle of the couch. His green eyes scanned over her features before settling on her lips. She regretted picking out a long-wear matte lipstick. It made her lips look amazing, but she wasn’t sure if it made them kissably soft. Would matte cosmetics ruin this kiss for them both?

Shae’s eyes slid closed as Aidan’s lips pressed against hers. The matte was definitely not a problem. It all started off pretty tame. Just lips on lips, Aidan’s hand sliding around the curve of her neck. Her own fingers went to the front of his shirt, toying with the hem of the soft cotton as their tongues entered the equation. Just when Shae thought to take things a little further, Aidan pulled away. Shae’s eyes blinked open. If her skin wasn’t a dark brown, she knew she’s be sporting the same red blush that now covered Aidan’s face. She cleared her throat, then bit the inside of her cheek.

“You’ve wanted to kiss me for a few years?”

“Yeah, I have.”

Shae wanted to press him for details, see if he was really telling the truth about this hidden desire, but she knew she’d ruin the moment. Instead she said, “That was a very good kiss.”

“I have to agree with you.”

They finished the meal and Shae was so relieved by how easily the conversation flowed. They talked more about their old co-workers. It seemed like they both had only kept in touch with a few people. He told her more about his start-up, which helped buyers find houses that specifically needed renovations. In this real estate climate in this part of California, the whole concept of PrimedRealty seemed like a great idea. After they got the tree about seventy-five percent perfect, Shae had to send Aidan on his way.

“I have to get to work early. Otherwise I’d ask you to stay. Not like the whole night, but longer. Or the whole night. Whatever.”

“I get it. I’ll call you and we can figure out date number two.”

“I’d like that.” Shae walked him to the door and was not at all disappointed when he kissed her again. This time it was just as good, but different. There was some real heat behind this kiss, not just a sense of curiosity asking to be fulfilled. This second kiss was a promise of naked things to come, if Shae let them.

“I’ll talk to you soon,” Aidan said as he stepped backward out her front door.

“Wait!”

“Yeah?”

“About the nudes?”

She almost melted at the smile that flashed across his lips. “Right, the nudes. What’s on your mind?”

“Well we need Nude Rules right?”

“Rules are good. What are you thinking?”

“Well, I wouldn’t want one of my girls at the bakery to accidentally see your dangle, so maybe we don’t send nudes during office hours.”

“Yeah. We should keep my dangle between us. And I definitely don’t want Matt to see any part of you.”

“Oh yeah, no. He might be one of our best customers, but he’s not that good.” They both laughed and Shae knew she was dangerously close to asking him to come back inside. “Okay. You have to go.”

“I’m leaving. Goodnight.” He turned quickly and walked down the hall to the elevator.

“You can send me nudes tonight if you want.” Shae called after him. He just laughed.

Shae couldn’t sleep. She lay in bed, playing out her night with Aidan over and over in her mind. She’d really gone on a date with IT Aidan and the date was good. The kissing was great. Still, she felt like she’d made a huge ass out of herself. She reached for her phone again and opened her group chat with the girls. She knew they were waiting on an update. Meegan and Keira were talking about a Twilight Zone reboot that was in the works. Shae didn’t feel bad interrupting.

Shae wanted to answer, but she couldn’t seem to get over whatever was eating at her. Instead of replying to Meeghan, she pulled up her text conversation with Aidan. She could feel herself really blowing it now, saying way too much or just enough, the exact right thing to turn Aidan off forever. Holy shit, dating was the worst.

Just as she was about to switch back to her conversation with the girls, the little text bubble popped up in the bottom left of her screen.

Shae laughed to herself and immediately started typing back.

Shae stared at her phone a full minute and those three little dots still hadn’t popped on Aidan’s side of their text conversation. She clicked back over to her group chat with the girls.

Before Shae could respond, a picture message popped up at the top of her screen. The little square on the right hand side was so tiny. Still, the sight of lightly tanned skinned covered in freckles was unmistakable. Shae was pretty sure her heart stopped.

That was a lie. Shae was used to being honest and sometimes too straightforward, but it rarely led to things she actually wanted, especially from guys she actually wanted to sleep with. So no, she was not okay. Shae was overwhelmed, if it was possible to be overwhelmed by a good thing. Yeah, she was definitely overwhelmed, but not too overwhelmed to look at the pictures.

Shae saw Meegan typing, but she didn’t stick around for her next colorful comment. Instead she took a deep breath, then clicked out of her group chat. The red little notifications bubble above her text message icon taunted her. There were four texts now. Four texts from Aidan containing pictures of what she was convinced was a rocking bod. She let out the deep breath and pulled another one in.

“Okay,” she said out loud. “This is no big deal. You’ve seen a naked man before. You’ve seen hot naked men before. None this hot in real life, but you’re an adult. You can handle this. Okay. Dear Santa, give me the strength I need.” Shae pressed her thumb to the little green icon, then moved over Aidan’s name at the top of her message list. She was wrong. She wasn’t ready and holy shit, it was a big deal. In the first two pictures, Aidan had snapped two selfies in the mirror, from his chest down to the dark red curls just below a perfectly defined V of muscle at the top of his equally muscular thighs. The bright lights of his bathroom showed off every muscle, every freckle.

He still had his dark frame glasses on, which made Shae wonder how strong his prescription was for a second before she moved on to the next picture. Aidan had moved things to his bed. He had held his phone somewhere down around his thigh and captured a picture that featured both his face and his erection grasped in his other hand. The last photo was similar but from a slightly different angle.

Shae’s body was now hot all over. This time it wasn’t from nerves. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this turned on. Her head felt tight and tingly, and her pussy was starting to throb. Shae swallowed the drool pooling in her mouth. As she was turning her head to analyze every inch of his cock, Aidan sent another text.

A burst of laughter slipped out of Shae, releasing some of the lustful tension that was building in her chest. Criticism? How could she criticize perfection? Thank Santa, Frosty and Rudolph that she was already lying down, because otherwise she would have fainted. Swiping through the pictures, she wasn’t sure she hadn’t bumped her head. Aidan’s body was...there were no words.

She added the emoji with sweat dripping off its forehead and hit send. Then she went back to the last picture. Shae had seen big cocks before—the internet was busting with them—but she never seen a cock this thick around. Aidan’s hands weren’t small and his penis looked large in his fingers. Shae’s pussy throbbed at the thought of what it would feel like to have that thing filling her from the inside. She had to respond, but she didn’t know what to say. She clicked back over to her group chat. Erica and Sarah had jumped back in.

Okay, so she did want to sleep with him. It was too soon though. Definitely too soon and she still had those antiquated notions buried deep in her head that if she gave away the custard for free, the farmer would never come back to the market or some shit. She knew it wasn’t true. But truth and reason didn’t stop her from panicking. This was definitely a bad idea.

Another text from Aidan popped up.

Shae sent a heart emoji to the group that was mostly meant just for her lovely, caring cousin who would absolutely come right over to talk her off the ledge. Her fingers were more interested in typing to Aidan though. She went back over to their conversation.

Shae tried to think of something cute and clever, but her brain and her thumbs just wouldn’t cooperate. The truth came tumbling out.

Shae felt herself grinning like an idiot. How could a guy be this cute and sweet while sexting?

Shae didn’t wait for him to respond. She tossed her phone on her bed, then jumped up and ran into her bathroom. There was no shame in her bonnet game, but she needed to sleep with Aidan at least once in real life before she exposed him to the world of Black women’s night time protective style routines. She unwrapped her hair as quickly she could, fluffing it along its natural part before she dug up her best fuck-me lip gloss.

She gave herself one last look in the mirror and realized that should do the trick. As soon as she changed out of her t-shirt and sweats. She ran back into her room and dug up this lacy nightgown she’d splurged on after her she’d moved out of her parents’ house in Baldwin Hills and into her own place. She’d worn it for more than five minutes exactly no times.

Shae slipped it on and it actually fit better than when she’d first tried it. No panties felt like a safe go-to move. She flopped back down on her bed and grabbed her phone, pressing the video chat icon under Aidan’s profile before she could talk herself out of it. Aidan picked up right away. Shae had literally just seen pictures of him completely naked. Seeing his face and the upper part of his bare chest on her phone should not have come as such a shock. Still, just looking at him reclining against his pillows had sent a fresh wave of heat all over her.

“Can you see me?” she asked. Her bedside lamp was on, but it was really dim.

“Yeah, I can see you just fine.”

“Or would it be better if I took this out to my living room and turned the Christmas lights back on?” Shae teased, but as soon as she made the suggestion it was clear Aidan was thinking it over.

“I mean, that wouldn’t be the worst idea. I’ve never had holiday themed phone sex before.”

“Okay. You’re coming with me.” Shae hopped off her bed and went back out to her dark living room. It took her a second to find the plug to the lights, but the moment the tree lit up, she knew she’d made a good choice. She grabbed her throw blanket and flopped down on the couch.

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

“Your voice sounds deeper,” she said. She could see herself smiling like a dope in the small rectangle on her screen.

“Does it?”

“Yeah. It’s kinda hot.”

“I’ll work on making it completely hot.”

“No, it’s working,” Shae said and then she actually giggled. Her heart was pounding so fast. “You should have just stayed over.”

“Next time, all you have to do is ask.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” She let out a deep breath and tried to focus. “So. We were going to work on getting me to sleep. The fun way.”

“Yeah. I don’t want to ruin your day tomorrow. I know it’s important to get a good night’s sleep.”

“It’s very true. Even with coffee, I can be an unpleasant kind of cranky.”

“We should get to it then. You have to tell me what you like.”

Ignoring the lump that started to wedge itself in her throat, Shae slid her hand between her legs. She was pretty damn wet. “Why don’t you tell me what you would do to me right now if you were here and we can do some team building work from there.”

Aidan let out a burst of laughter. “Team building, huh? Well I would definitely start by kissing you again. Are you wearing one of those nighty things?”

“Oh yeah. You want to see?”

“Yeah, I do.” Shae shivered at the way his voice seemed to drop even more. She could get used to dealing with aroused Aidan. She crossed the room and set up her phone on the kitchen counter, then stepped back a bit.

“How’s that?”

“Fuck, Shae. I definitely should have stayed.” Hearing Aidan curse sent another odd thrill right between her legs. They definitely needed to have sex soon. It had been too long.

“I don’t wear stuff like this very often.” The last time she’d rocked any fancy lingerie it had been her wedding night, but that memory had no place in this conversation.

“I like it,” Aidan said as she picked up her phone again and walked back to the couch. “Is that the only one you have?”

“Yeah. I guess I should buy a couple more. Now that I’m doing sexy stuff like sending nudes and cybersexing.”

“Shae.” The tone of Aidan’s voice wiped the doofy smile right off Shae’s face. His voice meant business.

“Yeah?”

“You’ve seen me and now I want to see you. I want to watch you touch yourself.”

“Okay.” Shae rigged up a little stack of her coffee table books and leaned her phone against it. When she was sure Aidan was getting a good view, she spread her legs and then spread her lips.