Chapter 7
The morning comes too soon. The sky is clear and a bird’s song drifts on the breeze. The whole world is rejoicing, and even though I should feel the effects of the wine from dinner, I don’t. Instead, I feel rested and happy. A hesitant knock at the door pulls my attention from the blue sky.
Mary peers around the door as if checking to make sure I’m alone.
“Well, Katherine, good morning to ye.”
“Good morning, Mary. What are you looking for?”
She looks sly. “I thought ye may have company this morning. Did Angus not carry you to your room last night?” Oh, so that’s her game. “Yes. He did bring me to my room. Dropped me off and left. He’s very much a gentleman. Besides, I told you he doesn’t think of me that way.”
Mary snorts. “And what way is that, lass? Looked to me he liked ye well enough. Men dinna go carrying ladies around the castle if they dinna care for them.”
“He’s always got a look on his face, like he’s angry or something,” I say. She looks at me like I have two heads.
“Ye can read and write but ye dinna know anything about men, do ye?” Mary says quite matter-of-factly.
Perhaps she’s right. At this point, I’m not sure of much anymore. The fact remains he couldn’t seem to get away from me fast enough last night.
I’m thankful for my new job as tutor. It keeps me busy, taking my mind off Angus and living in another time. I’m torn because I feel that I should be looking for a way to return, and yet, I feel like I’ve finally come home.
Tutoring Duncan passes much of my days. It’s good to be busy so I’m not thinking of my situation. I’m living in between two worlds. I need to find my place, but on this sunny lovely day, I choose not to think about time travel and magic coins or sexy surly Highlanders.
Duncan and the girls are a lovely distraction. We often take long walks that end by the pond. The agreement is that if I can tutor him, he can train me in practical skills such as riding a horse and weaponry. So each day we have his lessons in the morning and mine in the afternoon. There are times I draw quite a crowd. Claire and Margaret sit and cheer me on, while some of the smaller children laugh. I suppose I must be a sight.
One fine afternoon Duncan sets up targets for me. He counts out the paces and places a rock where I should stand.
“Alright then, your turn,” he states.
I take my place and check my stance, letting the arrow fly. It lands in the field nowhere near my target.
“If you keep aiming like that, I’ll need new arrows!” he proclaims to the crowd.
The crowd laughs. Of course, it’s all in good fun, but after a while, I just want to hit the damn target.
After many more tries, and many more lost arrows, I decide I’ve had enough humiliation for one day.
“Last one,” Duncan calls out.
“Thank God,” I murmur under my breath.
And suddenly there’s a hand at my hip and one on my shoulder.
“Turn slightly and keep your shoulders straight.” Angus. How does he expect me to concentrate with his hands on me? Besides, by this point, I’m tired and a little pissed off.
“I don’t need your help.” Hopefully, he’ll get the hint and go away.
“How many arrows have you lost?” he inquires, still holding me.
“A few.” Yes. I do believe I’m pouting and petulant. Damn him.
“Twelve by my count,” he replies.
Now I’m truly angry.
“You’ve been here all afternoon laughing at me.”
Our audience watches the exchange like it’s a scene from Days of Our Lives.
“Shoulders back, elbow up, and focus.” He may be accustomed to giving orders, but I’m not used to taking them. I give him my best scowl and he smiles at me. This is the first time I’ve seen him smile, and if scowling Angus is handsome, smiling Angus is downright lethal.
“Katherine, please listen to him. I’ve no more arrows!” Duncan half laughs, half pleads.
Cue the laughter from the peanut gallery; I’m glad I can entertain them.
I do feel bad about losing or breaking most of Duncan’s arrows so I may as well listen to Angus this once.
Standing close behind me but not quite touching, he takes hold of my hands as they hold the bow and the arrow. Lips pressed to my hair he gives his instructions.
“Now, take a deep breath and loose the arrow.”
Easier said than done. How does he expect me to breathe with him so close, with his hands on me, his breath feathering my ear?
“Now, Katherine.”
So I take a deep breath and let go.
My eyes are closed. I can’t watch another arrow fly into the field.
Apparently, thirteenth time is the charm. The arrow lands on the target.
“Woo-hoo!” I shout and do a celebration dance. The rest of the group joins the celebration. Angus stands and watches me like I’m a lunatic.
I’m too happy to care what he thinks of me.
From close behind me I hear a call, “Well done, Katherine!”
Ah, it’s the Viking. “Connor! Did you see?” I’m brimming with pride.
In front of me now, he takes my hand and kisses it. I hear growling behind me like some wild animal in the forest.
“You were wonderful. Quite the marksman. Perhaps you should come hunting with us. We could use the help. You can ride with me.”
It’s impossible not to return his smile and flirtations. He is charm incarnate.
“I’d love to!” I respond as Duncan runs to my side overhearing our conversation.
“You can ride Duff! It’ll be grand!”
“She’ll do no such thing,” Angus, the angry bear, growls next to me. This man pushes all my buttons.
“Since when do you speak for me?” I turn to him, flustered. He’s right, of course. I have no idea how to ride a horse, but he doesn’t need to know that. Now, I’m going to do it out of spite. It’s not very mature of me, but it’s all I can do not to stomp my foot.
“Let me know when you’d like to go, Duncan. Maybe Connor will come, too.” There! Take that, Angus.
Connor steps closer, just in case I didn’t notice his beautiful face before. “It would be my pleasure.”
“Enough.” Angus rolls his eyes and in one swift motion, leans down and throws me over his shoulder.
I hear Duncan and the girls laughing, although nothing about this is funny.
“Angus, you beast, put me down right now!” The only reaction to my words is his Scots grunt.
“Put me down! This is crazy!” He continues to ignore me. When we get to his horse, he throws me over the saddle rather unceremoniously, and I feel like a sack of grain.
He gets on behind me, and we depart to the sounds of hoof beats and laughter.
“Where are we going?” I ask him but he doesn’t answer. Millions of years of evolution and this is how far we’ve come?
We don’t stop until we get to the stream. If I wasn’t so annoyed, I could acknowledge how beautiful this spot is. Tall trees shelter us from the sun but let in just enough light to make the water sparkle. It could be a calm, soothing place if I wasn’t here with Angus.
He gets down off the horse and pulls me with him. Placed between him and the horse, I have nowhere to go. There’s only the sound of the horse snuffling and the running water in the background. Since I’m not breathing, there’s no heartbeat pounding in my ears.
“What do you think you’re doing?” he growls at me.
Stunned, I can’t articulate any answer but, “Huh?”
Stepping closer, he tilts his head and speaks, “Tell me, Katherine. Do you want Connor?”
“What if I do, what do you care?” I don’t want Connor but he doesn’t need to know that.
I attempt to step around him, but he moves slightly to the side to block me. Huffing, I turn to walk around the other side, but he has his hands around my waist before I can get far.
“You’ll answer me. Do you want him?” His proximity short-circuits my brain and the educated woman in me is reduced to a simpering idiot. I should be ashamed of myself. I’ll get around to that later. Right now, all I can think about is how close he’s standing to me. I could reach out and touch him. It would be so easy.
Swallowing audibly, I shake my head.
He licks his lips and my eyes follow. I should be offended by his overbearing attitude, but I’m not. Instead I’m drawn to him like a moth to a flame.
“Good. At least now I won’t have to put a sword through him.” Smirking, he kisses me hard and fast before I can respond.
I don’t want to kiss him back. Really I don’t. Well, maybe a little. But damn him and his arrogant mouth! I can’t let him think I’m that easy. I kick his shin, and he slides his tongue into my mouth.
God, I hate him, I scream in my head as I moan into his mouth and pull him closer.
His hand in my hair, he pulls me back so he can gloat.
“I hate you!” I scream as I practically rub my body along his like a cat.
“Ah lass, you can hate me but yer mine,” he says with absolute authority. “Do you deny it?” It’s more of a statement than a question.
“I belong to no man,” I say with more conviction than I feel. I say the words, but the truth is that I’d let him take me right here and now.
He knows, of course, because I’m a terrible liar. That, and the fact that I can feel that my face is flushed and my lips are swollen from his kiss.
To further prove his point, he raises his fingers to my face and traces my lips. As his thumb barely slips into my mouth, he whispers in my ear. “Your body speaks the truth, mo aingeal.”
I can’t help myself. I have to taste him, just a little. Tentatively, I run my tongue along the tip of his thumb and he groans in my ear. Pushing his thumb all the way in my mouth, he raises his head and looks me in the eyes. He sees how much I want him, but he has the same hungry look on his face. He removes his thumb from my mouth and lowers it to edge along the neckline of my dress. As he draws the lace down, he traces his wet thumb around my nipple.
“Say it.”
I’m about to agree when his eyes dart to the woods. Fixing my dress and kissing my nose, he ushers me back onto his horse.
“We’re not through, but it’ll keep.”
Wait. What the hell just happened here?
A few of the Guard come toward us through the woods.
“Angus, is everything all right? You weren’t at training?” His guard smiles at him.
“All’s well, Seamus. Lady Katherine just needed to be taught a lesson. We’re heading back to the castle now.”
Vibrating with anger and lust, I try to move away from him, but he tightens his arm around me and we ride back to the castle. He always has this effect on me. There’s never a simple interaction with Angus. It’s a constant struggle for power. He wants it and I refuse to relinquish it. There is a part of me that wants to give it to him. I want to completely abandon myself and give over to the feelings that are buried deep within me. I want him to take me. So, what am I going to do—sleep with him and then leave? Could I leave? Would he ever let me go?
Do I want to go?
He’s not unaffected. I feel him against my backside. I shift in my seat and he jerks me back, his arm a steel band wrapped around under my breasts. “Careful, love. It’s a dangerous game you play.”
I’m a mass of mixed emotions. I hate what he represents; yet, I want him. I must be bipolar. Something is clearly wrong with me. I’m usually so levelheaded and focused. This person I’ve become is a lunatic.
In the courtyard, Margaret and Claire are there to welcome me.
Angus helps me dismount, and when I turn around, I must have a look on my face because they say nothing.
“Good day, Lady Katherine.” Angus bows his head and leaves with his men.
The three of us walk back to my room in silence. Once there, they let loose like a rapid-fire machine gun. I can’t keep track of who is speaking.
“Well, what happened?”
“Tell us everything and spare no details.”
“Did he kiss ye?”
“Well of course he kissed her—look at her!”
“How was it?
“Wait a minute!” I shout. “Nothing happened. He just tried to scare me out of going hunting with Connor, that’s all.”
Two sets of disbelieving eyes turn to me.
In unison they reply, “Indeed.”
“Don’t ‘indeed’ me. There’s nothing to talk about. So what if he’s handsome, he’s an arrogant jerk.” I mumble under my breath as I pace the room. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see them following me.
“Katherine, dear, do ye really expect us to believe he tossed ye over his shoulder and raced off into the woods and nothing happened?”
Ah. So they heard about that. Soldiers gossip like little old ladies.
“Well, he’s a barbarian.” Is that really my best defense?
“The whole castle heard about it.”
“It was just a kiss,” I relent. It’s fun to share with the girls as long as they can keep a secret.
“Just a kiss? From Angus? Surely a kiss from Angus would be anything but ordinary,” Claire says.
She does have a point.
“It doesn’t matter what it was. It won’t happen again.” I turn to the window so they can’t see my face. I can’t lie worth a damn.
“Do you not want him?” Margaret asks.
“Maybe it’s Connor, then?” Claire hedges.
I can hear the alarm in her voice. I know she wants him. They would make a lovely pair if they didn’t kill each other first.
“No. I’m just so confused. He either seems angry with me or . . .”
“Or what, Katherine?” Margaret comes to stand beside me. Claire’s not far behind.
“It’s like he’s trying to stake a claim on me. Why would he do that? He barely knows me.”
They’re quiet but I can tell they’re thinking.
Out my window, I smell the scent of the climbing roses that are growing up the side of the castle by my window. Leaning a little too far out the window, I’m able to pick one, but not without alarming the girls. Claire squeals and grabs my waist so I don’t fall to my death. When I turn with my rose, she’s scowling at me as if I test her very last nerve. She isn’t angry, of course. I think she’s still trying to figure me out. We’ve come to such an easy friendship. She’s never pressed me for details about my former life. She’s there to listen and to guide me. I’ve come to value her friendship.
“Katherine, that’s his way. What else would you expect? He’s the Captain of the Guard and the fiercest warrior in the land. Besides, he’s a man. That’s what they do.” Claire uses her softest voice. She can see I’m upset.
She continues, “He wants you and he won’t share. It doesn’t matter if it’s Connor or any other man.”
Margaret adds, “Everyone can see how much you want each other. You’re the only one that doesn’t see it.”
I hadn’t noticed the tears running down my cheeks. I’m so confused about so many things. I reach up to wipe my face, but Margaret beats me to it.
“Dinna fash. You’ll find your way.”
I smile at that. If she only knew.
“In the meantime, I do believe cook is making tarts.”
Claire knows just how to cheer me up. These women have become so dear to me in such a short amount of time. My mouth waters at the mention of the tiny bundles of culinary brilliance.
Washing my face to erase any evidence of tears, I put a smile on my face and follow the girls to the kitchen. Claire is right. Cook is making some tarts for dinner and it smells wonderful.
“May I help?” I ask.
“Certainly, if ye’d like. It’ll be messy though.”
“That’s okay. I don’t mind.”
Surely, I can manage rolling dough and filling it with jam. I’m not Julia Child, but even I can do this much.
“Hard work, is it not?” Cook notes looking over my shoulder.
“It is. More difficult than I thought.” I smile in earnest. Feeding a whole castle full of people all day, every day, must be quite a workout. Rolling dough requires a little elbow grease, and I didn’t realize I’d have to cut a million of them. We need to make enough to feed the castle, and I hadn’t thought of how many people the laird has living here. It must be quite a responsibility to have so many under his care. Someday, young Duncan will be in charge. Children need to grow up so quickly in this time. Then I reflect on my childhood, and I realize I had to mature quickly as well. We’re not so dissimilar after all.
Unconsciously, I lick the delicious confection from my thumb. I rarely cooked at home. It was only me and I ordered a lot of take out and always had salad in the fridge. I suppose I never really learned how to cook. I can see why people like it.
“Mmmmm,” I say around a mouthful of heaven. “You’re amazing. The figs make a lovely jam.” I should know considering I sampled enough of it.
A deep voice echoes in the kitchen shaking me out of my revelry.
“What are you making?” It’s Angus. Why is it that even hearing his voice makes me tingle all over?
He’s walking around the kitchen, stalking me.
Cook pretends she doesn’t hear him. Apparently, it takes a lot of concentration to stir a pot of stew.
Not daring to look up either, I answer, “It’s a tart for dessert tonight.”
He’s still making his way around the large wood table covered with bowls and fresh vegetables. Ever so slowly his footsteps get closer and closer, the echo synchronized with my heartbeat. I start mixing the batter for the second batch of tarts. I’ll do anything so I don’t have to look up at him.
Behind me now, he places his hands on the table, caging me in his arms. Every molecule in my body is vibrating with awareness.
“May I have a taste?”
Holy Mother of God. He’s got to be kidding me. “Ah. Well. It’s not ready yet.” My answer is barely audible.
He presses himself closer to me. He smells like he’s been training. Sweat and sunshine. “When, mo aingeal?”
How does he expect me to form a coherent sentence when he’s so close to me?
Turning my head slightly, he leans in to hear my answer.
“When I say so.”
He leans forward even more, and taking my wrist in his warm, calloused hand, he brings it to his mouth and sucks the jam off my finger, biting down gently. Doing a very thorough job cleaning the remaining jam off, he releases me and kisses my cheek. “My feisty lass.”
He laughs low enough that only I can hear him.
Now that he’s completely rattled me, he walks out of the kitchen to the yard.
Cook turns and gives me a little smirk as if she’s heard the whole encounter. I’m sure she has. I don’t doubt it will be all over the castle by dinner.
“Ah, there you are! I’ve been looking all over for you.” Margaret strolls into the room, grabbing a tart as she passes the table.
“We’re going to the lake. It’s such a lovely day. We thought we’d have a picnic. You’ll join us of course.” Margaret must be sunshine incarnate as she breezes around the room. I can’t help but smile from her warmth.
As it is a glorious, sunny day, I can think of no better way to spend it, and agree at once.
Having decided, the preparations are underway. We pack blankets and baskets filled with food and drink. I’m dressed in the lightest cotton layers so thin and soft they feel like clouds caressing my skin. I pull my hair back though the maid wanted it down, and we’re on our way. We have a small group of women from the castle and some maids and as we walk through the castle grounds out through the fields, we come to a place out of my imagination.
The hill overlooks a lake so blue, I can’t tell where the water ends and the sky begins. The water glistens like millions of tiny diamonds that are dancing a nameless tune on the surface. While the women unpack and set out our picnic, I stand and take in the awe-inspiring surroundings. Maybe if I were an artist or a poet I could do it justice. I wish I had a camera because some day, when I am old and gray, I’d like to remember this place.
I’d like to remember that it was real and not a figment of my imagination. Standing on the hill with the sweet-scented balmy breeze ruffling my dress, the warm sun shining on my shoulders, and the sound of laughter in the air, I can’t think of a happier time.
After our swim in the bracing cold lake in nothing but our shifts, we lay in the late summer sun to dry. My hair down and lounging in the grass, I feel like a child. I missed much of my childhood because I had to grow up quickly. I imagine this is what it feels like to be young and carefree. It’s decadent to warm myself in the sun, wriggling my toes and listening to laughter. I can’t remember a time when I’ve felt so free, so at peace.
“Well, I’ve seen Margot sneaking out of the stables,” Claire says amid a flurry of protests. “No, certainly not. She’d never take up with William,” Margaret says without conviction. “Why wouldn’t she?” I ask. “What’s wrong with William?” Truth be told, I don’t even know either of them but this is too much fun not to join in. “Margot can do much better. He spends too much time at the pub,” Margaret says. And so they weigh the pros and cons of William the horse master and I think that life now is not really as different as I assumed it would be. As the birdcalls ring out and laughter fills the sweet summer air, my mind drifts to the life I may never see again. The internal conflict is a constant. I know I’ll get home—if that’s still what I want. I’ve made better, stronger relationships in these few weeks than in my whole life at home.
I’m not so sure anymore.
As the sun lowers in the sky, I realize it’s time to get back to the castle. The women begin to gather up our picnic, and I remember I’ve left my dress by the lake.
“I’ll be back,” I call out. “I certainly can’t go back in only my shift.” Giggling some more, I start toward the lake. I’m not really an outdoorsy girl, but I have enjoyed my time with nature. Passing through the woods on my way back to the lake, I’m struck by the silence. Odd. The forest is usually filled with woodland sounds like birds and squirrels.
Even though the girls aren’t that far away, I feel uneasy.
There is no warning. A blow to the back of my head knocks me out.