It was two days before the king was supposed to be loading up his ship with the women who would not cooperate with the Milisarian knights and send them back to Earth, and Nabvan had been suspecting something for a few days now. The worry about the other women made some sense to Nabvan since he knew Alexis to be a caring person. It was one of the reasons he loved her so entirely. But he got the feeling there was more to the story.

Despite the fact that they had spent almost no time away from each other, making the most of the week where the king had left her alone, he could feel a sadness around her like a cloud, and he could only imagine what the reason might be. She had not mentioned if the plan to send women back to Earth that were not mating applied to her. That left him with two worrisome thoughts: either she had mated with him so it did not matter, or it did include her and she just didn’t know how to tell him yet. He was going to get to the bottom of it today, no matter how much it hurt.

As they sat down for breakfast that morning, he could feel a shift in her. Alexis had gotten even quieter, and he wondered if she was on the verge of telling him what was on her mind. He thought he might explode waiting, but he wanted to give her a shot to come forward on her own before he grilled her about it. So, he thought he would give her the time through the meal to say something.

“I think it’s going to be a nice day. Maybe we could go for a walk outside for a bit. I know we can’t hold hands or anything, but it still might be romantic in a way,” he offered, starting with a little small talk to break the ice. She just nodded her head and slurped breakfast off of her spoon like a soup, not even meeting his eyes.

“Nabvan, I think there is something we need to talk about,” she said finally, placing her spoon down and looking at him with serious eyes. He wanted to just dive deep into them and never be able to get out, but there were more serious matters to handle at the moment. Reality was a harsh thing to deal with.

“This has to do with the king sending women back to Earth, doesn’t it?” he asked, wanting to skip the explanations. He just wanted answers, but maybe he wasn’t being very fair to the woman he loved.

“Yes, how did you guess?” she asked, dumbfounded that he had guessed such a thing so easily. It was plain on her face. He needed to let her say whatever it was she needed to say in order to get to the revelation.

“I’m sorry, but I have noticed your behavior this whole time has been off. There has been something on your mind, and I remembered that you said nothing about yourself when you mentioned the women going back to Earth if they didn’t mate like they were meant to. It’s been on my mind, and it’s been killing me. But please, say whatever you need to say. I will listen. I love you either way.” Nabvan tried to be reassuring because he knew what she must be thinking. He knew what he would be thinking. He would be worried about losing the love of the person he wanted to be with because of something someone else decided for them. It was the worst situation imaginable. Well, almost the worst. He didn’t want to think about the worst.

“Okay,” she started, trying to maintain eye contact. He watched her head rope many times as she explained. “The king came to me before he left, and I asked him if he could give the women more freedom. I realized it might come with a price, but the price was a high one, especially after he told me many of the women would be sent back to Earth. He told me that he thought I should go too, if I wasn’t interested in mating with him. He was as kind as could be expected about it, just letting me know that our purpose was to mate and that nobody would be happy if we stayed and it didn’t happen. So, I told him I would think about it. I needed more time. I didn’t know what I wanted then, but I do now.”

He hung on every word she was saying. Nabvan was only slightly relieved to hear that she had not mated with King Shene yet. That meant that in order to stay, she would have to do it anyway, and that hurt. It meant that she would probably have to continue to do it in order to stay in the king’s good graces. Was that something he could handle? He wasn’t sure he could, but what about if she went to Earth with the other women? He didn’t know what to do about that either. Leaving the Milisarians wouldn’t be easy, even if it was for a good reason, and he didn’t know at this point how the king would react if he just walked on the ship. King Shene might physically stop him from doing so.

“What do you want, Alexis?” he dared to ask her, waiting on pins and needles.

“I want to be here with you. I want to stay.”

A puff of air left his lungs, as if someone had hit him hard in the back with a staff. He knew what that meant. There was no relief to be had with that statement. “But then that means you will have to mate with the king. He is not going to let you stay here any other way. And now that you have given him even an inch, he won’t accept you telling him you want someone else.” Nabvan knew it to be true. And King Shene would see it as a betrayal on his part that he had allowed the woman the king was supposed to be mating with to love him instead.

“Then, that is what I will have to do,” she said with grim determination. “Is that something you can even live with?” she asked with a worried expression. She looked like she might cry, and he wasn’t about to let that happen, even though it felt like he was dying inside.

“If you must do this,” he said, looking away for a moment, “then can I ask that I have you first?” It was hard for him to say, knowing that she would mate with him and then another. But at least he would be hers first. He would have that to hold in his heart while he knew she was in the king’s arms. Alexis gasped, not holding back her shock at all. “If you do not want me, then I understand,” he told her, ready to let it go if she declined. But he would have to leave her after that.

“I want you more than I want anything else,” she said, and Nabvan’s heart began to race.