Chapter Twelve

 

 

Kerry felt utterly miserable. The walk north in the dark was freezing cold but that wasn’t why sorrow seeped into her bones.

Callum didn’t want her.

It was so obvious when she thought about it. She had tried to kiss him and he couldn’t leave the room fast enough. He’d obviously been able to keep the act going while he thought she was going home, not wanting to hurt her feelings by telling her he didn’t want her. Then she made the stupid mistake of staying and telling him she loved him.

How had he reacted? Told her the same and then presumably sat in a blind panic on the horse trying to work out how to get rid of her.

Edward had come along at the right time. She was clearly supposed to be with him, not with Callum. This was her destiny. Traveling hundreds of years back in time and Edward had still found her. As he’d said, they were meant to be together.

He hadn’t even yelled. Not once. He’d been sympathetic instead, hugging her and telling her it would be all right.

One kiss with Callum and he scarpered out of the door and straight out of the tavern. She only found out the truth when Edward knocked on the bedroom door.

She almost screamed when she opened it, seeing him standing there. “What have you done with Callum?” she managed to ask, already wincing, expecting a fight.

“Nothing at all,” Edward replied, passing her a note. “He asked me to give you this though.”

She unfolded the piece of paper and read it. It didn’t take long, consisting only of two words.

 

Go home.

 

“What does it mean?” she asked, unable to take in the words.

“He didn’t deserve you,” Edward said, stepping forward and taking the note from her. “Do you want to know what he said to me?”

She nodded although she didn’t really want to know. She was too numb to take in much of anything.

“I saw him in the bar, laughing with the others down there. Said he’d only wanted to get you into bed but couldn’t go through with it when he realized how fat and ugly you are. Can you believe he’d say that?”

“He said that?” Kerry asked, her voice little more than a whisper. There was a hint of hope to it, as if she wanted to believe it wasn’t true.

“I love you for who you are,” Edward said, slipping his hands into hers. “You know that, don’t you?”

Kerry was still numb. She was barely aware of his guiding hands as he took her downstairs and out the back door of the tavern.

As they walked north together in the dark, Edward continued holding her hand, saying nothing until the lights of the tavern had vanished far behind them. Only then did he speak. “I left him a note,” he said. “Told him he didn’t deserve someone as beautiful as you.” He squeezed her hand. “And you are beautiful, Kerry. Or at least you will be once you get out of those filthy clothes and into something more sensible.”

“Where are you taking me?” Kerry asked, looking up at him as he smiled in the gleam of the moonlight. “Where are we going?”

“We’re going home,” he replied. “Back where we both belong. Put the past behind us. Literally.”

“But what about Callum?”

“You mean am I angry about you running off with another man?” He shook his head. “I know I have every right to be angry but I’m not. I understand exactly why you did it, Kerry.”

“You do?”

“Of course I do. You thought you were stuck here in the past so you tried to make the best of it. Latched onto the first person who complimented you, isn’t that right?”

“No, that’s not what happened. I-”

He cut her off. “Yes it is but that’s okay. I don’t mind. Once we get home, we can just forget about it and carry on as before.”

“But…” Her voice trailed away to nothing and the sorrow began to seep into her. He was holding her hand too tightly for her to break free. Was it even worth trying? Where would she go? Into the mountains to starve to death? Callum didn’t want her. He had told her to go home.

She thought about their kiss. It had felt perfect. The feel of his lips on hers, the warmth that spread through her, the sensation that she had always been half of something and when they kissed, that half had connected with the missing half and she was made whole. She never wanted that feeling to go but within moments it was wrenched from her.

She had been so certain that she understood him. For the first time in her life everything seemed right. Then he pulled away, making up some nonsense about waiting until they were married.

That might have been true, she supposed. If only he hadn’t then run out of the room like a scalded cat.

Her shoulders sagged as she walked. What was the point in trying to fight her fate?

What was it that Fenella had said? If she chose to stay in the past darkness would come? Was that it?

Darkness had come. It had washed over her like a wave and now it was suffocating her like a thick blanket over her face. She could hardly breathe through it. Tears would not come, the sensation was too much. A numbness was spreading through her, a numbness she remembered all too well. It had been there whenever Edward had hurt her in the past, a way of switching off, trying to ignore the pain he’d caused.

She listened as he continued talking, his words worming their way into the most vulnerable parts of her mind, taking over, making her see that he was right. He had punished her because she had been bad but he was magnanimous. He would forgive her for what she had done while she was here. He was compassionate. He would let it all go.

The one thing he would not let go was her hand. He continued to keep tight hold of it the entire time they walked north.

As the hours passed she began to tire. She’d become used to traveling by horse and so many miles on foot in the icy chill was exhausting.

Stumbling yet again, she almost fell. Edward turned to look at her. “You need to rest,” he said, smiling patiently. “Sit here for a minute.”

She was barely on the ground before she was asleep. When she next opened her eyes the sun had risen and Edward was stretching his arms next to her, yawning loudly. “Where did this blanket come from?” she asked, gripping the heavy wool that was draped over her body, keeping out the worst of the cold.

“Bought it from a cottage while you slept,” he replied. “I know, you’re grateful. Don’t mention it. I intend to do things differently when we get back, not take you for granted like I did before you went. Things will be all right between us this time. We just need to get back to our time with beds and central heating and none of this walking everywhere. I swear we could have driven from the inn to the old hall in about half an hour if we had a car.”

“Is that where we’re going?” Kerry asked, getting slowly to her feet, keeping the blanket wrapped around her.

“Unless you know of another way back to the future?”

“No but how do you know about it?”

“I followed my heart and it brought me to my true love. That’s you, Kerry. You know I love you, don’t you?”

She nodded slowly, unable to meet his eyes. She was afraid of what she might see in them.

The morning sun took away the worst of the cold but it was still a chill day as they began once again to walk north. In the daylight Kerry could see where they were. She recognized the mountains to her left from the last time she came this way. By her calculations they only had a couple of hours to go before they’d reach the hall.

What then?

She would walk through and go back to her old life. She would go back and be with Edward.

She didn’t want to do it but she had established that she wasn’t going to get to do what she wanted. What she wanted was to be with the man she loved but it turned out he didn’t want her.

She didn’t ask herself if it was possible that Edward was lying. Even if he was, he had nothing to do with the fact that Callum had left the room immediately after they kissed and he had not come back.

Nor had he been downstairs in the tavern when she left. He had left her at once. No doubt he was on his way back home to marry the woman he was supposed to.

Was that why he’d done it? She allowed herself a spark of hope. Perhaps he had felt something for her but he was as much a victim of circumstance as her. He had to marry Nessa for the sake of his clan. She was a splinter, something irritating to be removed before it could do too much harm.

Was that true though? The question she hadn’t asked herself came loud and clear to her. What if Edward was lying?

She looked at his face and at once the warmth left it. That was just a mask. He was smiling still but his hand was once again holding hers tightly.

She shook her head. How had she fallen for it yet again? She could have kicked herself. The only explanation was how tired and cold she’d been last night, too chilled to the bone to think clearly. She’d also been thrown by Callum running out on her, dwelling on that when she should have been thinking.

“Not long to go,” Edward said, glancing at her. “Then we’ll get home and everything can go back the way it was.”

Of course, she thought. Back how it was. Her under his thumb, obeying all his rules, never being allowed to have a mind of her own. Callum had never once struck her, had never once shown an iota of violent motion toward her. Callum had been far kinder to her than Edward ever had. That didn’t explain why he left after the kiss but maybe he really had just gone to get some water. That would explain why he hadn’t been in the tavern when she descended the stairs.

What about the note though?

“What have you done with him?” she asked, realization hitting her in a wave.

“With who?” Edward asked, his voice light and unconcerned. She knew that voice. He was hiding something,

“I know you wrote that note. What have you done with Callum?”

“All right, you got me. I wrote the note but it was for your own good.”

“Where’s Callum?”

He looked angry for the first time since he’d found her in the tavern. “Oh, Callum, Callum, Callum. Why are you so obsessed with a man who ran off like a coward as soon as I turned up?”

“It’s not true, is it? He didn’t say I was fat or ugly, did he?”

“Does it matter? He’s gone and I’m here and I’m taking you home.”

“I’m not going home with you, Edward.” She tried to pull her hand free from his grip but he wouldn’t let go.

“Yes, you are.” He smiled as he saw her looking around her. “Go ahead and scream for help. There’s no one around for miles. You scream then I break a couple of your ribs for your trouble and then you still come home with me. Wouldn’t it be better all right if you stopped fighting and accept it? We are meant to be together.”

“No we’re not.”

He leaned close to her face, any hint of a smile gone. His eyes were cold, his voice a whisper. “Walk or I kill you, Kerry. I’ve had enough of your bull. Trying to run off with another man like I’d let you get away with it? You’re stupider than you look.” His voice returned to normal as he yanked her by the arm, pulling her along the road. “Don’t worry though. I forgive you.”