Diana
When I try to put weight on my ankle, I cringe. Even with the healing ointment, the pain is there.
“Don’t try to walk,” Max says. He wraps a blanket around me, and then he sweeps me into his arms. He turns to Sarah and asks if she has any further instructions for care, but Sarah just shakes her head and laughs.
“Come back tomorrow,” she says to me. “And I’ll check you and change your bandages.” She hands Max a cane. “For when she needs to walk around your housing unit.” He carefully accepts the cane.
“Thank you for everything you’ve done,” I say to her, and Sarah just smiles and waves. Max leaves the medical unit and turns down a hall. I’m still wearing the glasses on my face. They darken everything around me, but even with them on, the ship is very, very brightly lit.
“Why is everything so bright?” I ask.
“Eyes still feeling sensitive?”
“Very.”
“I’ll keep the lights low at my living unit. You’ll be able to take the glasses off, and you won’t be in any pain.”
“Thank you,” I whisper. “That’s very…”
Sweet?
Kind?
“Thoughtful.”
“Anything for you,” he says, and he keeps walking in silence. I’m curious about the ship, but I’m also feeling very shy. I don’t want to make eye contact with anyone else. I certainly don’t want to know people are looking at me or wondering who I am. Instead of looking around, I lean my head on Max’s chest and close my eyes, and I just let myself think of the new world I’ve been thrust into.
I’m still in shock things have turned out the way they did. I gave up hope that anyone would find me. I had come to terms with living in an isolated place and being hurt over and over again. I didn’t think safety would come.
I didn’t think a savior would come.
But he did.
I still don’t know what Max was looking for in that building. I assume it was Boss Man. The guy made a lot of enemies, from what I could tell, and I hope beyond all hope that Max and his gang of heroes killed him. I hope they killed all of those guys so they can never hurt anyone ever again.
I hear voices surround me as he moves through a busier part of the ship.
“Don’t worry,” Max keeps his voice low. “No one is looking at you. They’re all too busy with their own days to even look twice, okay? You can keep your eyes closed if you want, and we’ll be at my place in no time at all.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, and then I nuzzle closer to him. I can hear his heart beating in his chest, and I focus on that. Soon all other sounds fade away until the only thing I know is that Max is here for me.
He’s here, and he’s going to protect me.
He is my safety net now.
For a long time, my father protected me, and then he couldn’t. I’m not under the impression that Max will be able to protect me forever, but I think he’s a good man. I think he’s a strong man, and I think he’ll watch over me on this ship.
It seems to be a big place with a lot of action happening. Max hasn’t told me much about this place at all, but I’m sure there will be time to explain.
When my father and I hunted together, we would rent ships from time to time, but we usually rode as passengers on larger interplanetary ships. It’s easy to get from one planet to another on a huge ship, and it’s not too hard to sneak on. If we got caught, we would pretend to be lost passengers or crew members, and we ended up working on ships on more than one occasion.
My dad and I always had fun, though, no matter where we were.
That’s probably the thing I miss about him the most.
I miss having my dad around to spend time with, to joke with. I miss having him promise me everything will be okay. I miss hearing him tell me that no matter what happens, he’ll always love me, always protect me.
I don’t blame my father for what happened to me. Not at all. Not ever. He tried to protect me, but at the end of the day, he’s just one man. We were outnumbered and outgunned, and we did our best.
Our best just wasn’t good enough.
“Here we are,” Max says, and I hear a door slide open. We step into the space and the door closes behind us. I keep my eyes closed until Max stops and gently lowers me down to a soft, round chair.
“Thank you.”
“It’s nothing. Would you like a drink?”
“Yes, please,” and then I realize I didn’t cough once on the way to his unit. “My cough,” I tell him. “It’s gone.”
“Oh, yeah, Sarah took care of that.” He walks over carrying a cup of petal juice for me. I’m not going to argue with that. I sip the alcohol, and it warms my belly instantly. “You had a lung infection, but she gave you some medication and it cleared it right up.”
“That was fast.”
“It’s good medication.”
I finally take the time to look around Max’s living unit. It’s a wide open space, and there are several sofas and chairs, along with some bright, warm tapestries.
“Those are beautiful,” I say.
“From Orchid,” he tells me proudly. “My grandmother made them.”
“She’s very talented,” I say. “They’re incredible.”
“She’s a pretty fantastic lady,” he confirms. “She actually has a shop on Orchid and takes special orders. People travel from all over the universe to come see her.”
“You must miss her.”
“I do.”
We stand for a minute in silence as I look around. It’s quiet, but not awkward. Somehow, being with Max is comfortable. It’s more comfortable than it should be, and I feel safe here.
There’s something I need to know, though, something that’s going to bother me if I don’t find out. I need to ask him.
“What’s going to happen to me?” I ask. I probably shouldn’t. Maybe it would be better not to know.
“What do you want to happen to you?” Max sits down. He seems strangely calm. He’s comfortable in his own skin, I realize. He’s not like me. He’s not nervous and fidgety. I know I’ve been through a lot and I should be patient with myself, but that’s easier said than done.
Each moment feels like a struggle, and this isn’t something I want to be dealing with forever, I realize.
I want to get past what happened to me as quickly as possible.
Yeah, I was raped, and I was hurt, and I was ignored. I was beaten. I was starved.
But you know what?
I wasn’t killed.
I’m still alive.
Right now, I want to feel alive.
“You,” I whisper.
“Excuse me?” Max cocks his head to the side. “I’m not sure I understand.”
I reach for him and grab his uniform in my hands, and I pull him close to me. I kiss him before he can stop me. I kiss him before he can tell me it’s a bad idea, that we should think this through. I kiss him and there’s not a thing he can do about it.
For a second, I’m worried he’s going to play the gentleman and pull back, but he doesn’t. He kisses me back deeply, passionately. He kisses me and for a minute, I don’t feel like a broken girl.
I feel like a woman.
I pull back and look at him, searching his eyes for any sense of regret, but I don’t see any.
“Tell me what you want, Diana,” he says. “There are no expectations here, love.”
“I want to forget about what happened to me.”
“I can’t make the pain go away,” he says slowly.
“But you can stop it for a little while,” I point out.
“Is that what you want? Are you sure?”
“Yes, Max,” I whisper. I’m so close to the edge of tears, but I’m not going to cry. Not right now.
I used to love sex, crave it. I used to love my body and the things I could do in the bedroom. I don’t want my memories of sex to be tainted by the men who took me.
“Please,” I say again. “Please make love to me.”