12.
CASSIE
The first day of the conference was a drag. Cassie didn’t get much of a look in when it came to the debating, and Miranda was struggling to do the job she needed to, which didn’t leave her feeling confident enough to stand up and engage in the discussion. She didn’t trust that Miranda would have the information required to win a debate.
That night was spent in increasingly awkward silence with Vikram. The tension between them hadn’t dissipated at all, and Cassie second-guessed herself every time she opened her mouth to say something to him. She just wanted something to change. For it to go back or go forward. She wished she could forget the attraction she felt to him, to purge her memory of the feel of his hands on her, of his hot mouth against hers setting her body on fire, but at the same time she wanted to cling to it forever, couldn’t stop it taking over her thoughts even when she was supposed to be concentrating on her speech for Archie’s funeral service.
The next morning the conference was paused for the funeral. She slipped into a black pantsuit, copies of her speech crumpled in her hands from holding them for so long.
Everyone was going to be there, and she could already feel her anger at the situation.
What right did Prince Qugrom have to be at Archie’s funeral? He was everything Archie had ever stood against. Archie had hated him. Having false camaraderie with Qugrom because it was politically advantageous didn’t mean the reptile should be allowed at his funeral.
Vikram stood at the window in silence, not commenting even when Cassie huffed and grumbled excessively about anything and everything as she pulled her boots on.
She just wanted her bodyguard to say something.
“Miranda said she was going to go with some of the other aides attending the funeral,” Cassie said. “I feel bad, that she doesn’t feel like she can talk to me. We’re supposed to be a team. Maybe I was too harsh on her during the conference yesterday, but she needs to be better if we’re going to get a look in on the debate at all. I can’t do it all by myself.”
“I’m sure she just thinks this is an emotional time for you. She probably wants to let you have some time to yourself.”
“I don’t know. I suppose so. I should say something to her today. Let her know I’m there if she wants to talk.”
Vikram gave a small nod, as if he’d barely been paying attention.
She wanted to throw her arms up and demand he act normal with her, but this was his normal. If he’d been working with anyone other than her, this would have been his normal. She was the one being unreasonable, not him.
“Do you have a ship here?” she asked. “I don’t want to drive today. I need to concentrate on the speech. And prep for the conference. You could drive Archie’s… but—” She just didn’t like the idea of sitting behind and watching anyone other than Archie driving that ship. It felt wrong even to imagine it.
“I have a ship. We can use it.”
“Thanks.”
He checked his watch. “We should go. Are you ready? Got everything?”
“Yeah. Let’s get going.”
She still walked close to him as they walked down the corridor, even though her abject fear of someone jumping out and pulling a gun on her had started to fade. She just felt safer with Vikram beside her. When she’d been walking out of the opening lunch to find him, though, she’d been looking over her shoulder and jumped three feet into the air even at the sound of the elevator opening.
Beside him she knew nothing could happen.
They didn’t speak on the way there, either. It was only an hour’s flight—he was being buried on his home planet, which was much closer to the IU’s space station than the foundation’s resident planet.
In the service she convinced Vikram to sit beside her instead of against the wall or just outside the crematorium by clutching his sleeve and making it impossible for him to leave without causing a fuss.
She was on the second row, and Miranda sat next to her. They both listened to Archie’s wife, Fiona, giving a speech with tears spilling down their cheeks. Vikram put his hand over hers for just a moment, and it only made her cry harder.
When it was time for her speech, she wiped her eyes and was determined to pull herself together. His wife had been solid as a rock, not breaking down until she was back in her seat and able to cry into her mother’s shoulder.
Cassie had no right to be more upset than that. Her speech was short. she didn’t want to hog the podium. She cleared her throat and looked out over the sea of faces, from the close friends and family—of which there were depressingly few—to the larger group of politicians who sat with masks on their faces. Prince Qugrom almost looked bored.
She tried not to stare at the piece of paper as she read, but she didn’t have the ability to come up with heartfelt words on the spot like some people. She’d planned this speech to include everything she was feeling—that was how she worked. It sounded generic, she knew. Calling him a kind and giving man who didn’t have a selfish bone in his body, saying he was dedicated to his job and that he’d saved so many lives it was impossible to count them. Saying that he’d been like the dad she’d never had, and how she wished she’d been able to tell him that while he was alive.
She was in tears by the end, and had to hurry to sit down before sobs took her.
Miranda gave her a hug when she was back in her seat, rubbing her hand up and down Cassie’s back. “That was really beautiful,” she said, voice choked. “I’m sure he knew all of that, about how much he meant to you.”
“I hope so.”
Hers was the last speech before they cremated him, and she forced herself to watch as the coffin disappeared. She was glad there hadn’t been a wake—she didn’t think she could have handled seeing him again, not after the morgue.
Archie hadn’t been religious, and it was Jensen who stood up to make the final remarks before people dispersed to attend the gathering afterward to remember his life.
Cassie squeezed Miranda’s hand as people began to stand up and file out. “I’m not going to go to the gathering,” she said. It had all been a bit overwhelming, and she was terrified of losing control at one of the politicians, or drinking too much and turning into even more of a blubbering mess than she already was. “But I just want you to know you can come and talk to me whenever. And I’m sorry if I snapped at you at all yesterday. It’s all been very stressful.”
Miranda hugged her. “You didn’t snap. You’ve been doing great without him, everyone I’ve spoken to has said so.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re sure you don’t want to come and have a drink? Take a break from it all?”
“I’m sure. I’m going to just head back and take some time for myself, I think.”
“Okay. I’ll see you later today, or tomorrow, then.”
“See you later.”
When everyone else had left, it was just Cassie, Fiona, and Vikram in the morgue. Cassie stood up, thinking Fiona wanted a moment to herself, but she stood up, too.
“Your speech was very touching,” she said to Cassie, taking her hand and smiling. “It would have meant a lot to him to hear it. His job was everything to him.”
“I hope so. He was so good at it, he changed so many people’s lives.”
Fiona’s eyebrows pinched together. “It changed everyone’s lives around him. He never wanted children with me, he said that he couldn’t be a good father and do this job. It took up too much of his time, and it was more important to him than family ever was. Part of me wants to hate you, for getting to have something that I never could. I’m glad he got to be a father, though, even if it wasn’t how I’d ever imagined it.”
Cassie had no idea what to say to that. It was too much information, too personal and far too fast. She’d only ever exchanged small talk with Fiona, and only a handful of times. “I’m sorry,” was all she could think to say.
Fiona smiled, but it wasn’t a happy smile. “I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad,” she said, squeezing her hand again. “I’ve been vomiting words to everyone since his death. I just wish I’d gotten to know you better while he was alive.”
“I would have liked that.”
“I have to go to the gathering, but I’m glad we talked. I’m glad there were at least some people here who truly cared. Stay safe.”
“See you soon.”
Cassie watched her go with a cavern in her chest. She’d always thought that Archie and Fiona’s marriage was perfect. It had always been so obvious to her that Archie adored the ground his wife walked on, but never that his job had gotten in the way of her being happy.
She rubbed her hands over her face, a headache coming on.
“You’re not going to the gathering?” Vikram asked. She’d almost forgotten he was there.
“I’m not really feeling it. I think I’m going to just go home and crash.”
“Sure?”
“Positive.”
“Let’s get going, then.”
Their ship was parked a little way out from the funeral home. The parking lot had been full when they got there, and so it was a fifteen minute walk to their little ship. “I’ve never been to Archie’s home planet before.” It was a green planet, and the village they were in was small. There couldn’t have been more than fifty small, concrete houses in her eye line as they walked over a field to get to the ship. “It’s so different from what I imagined. The foundation’s headquarters are in a huge city, I always assumed that was the kind of place he’d always lived in.”
“It’s nice. It reminds me of home.”
“Suytov is like this?”
“We have one big city, where the training academy for my firm is, but outside of the city we’re a planet of farmers and ranchers. We live off the land. You can go for miles and only find a single house.”
“Luseck Six is a tiny, overpopulated planet. We had to import all our food. There’s not a single field on it. This is beautiful.” There were wildflowers blooming in the grass and, in the distance, the beginnings of forest. “I could see myself retiring to somewhere like this, if I ever reach that stage. Just somewhere small and quiet, that would be my own.”
“I want to go home when I retire. I have a large family.”
Her ears perked up. “Really? I’m an only child, and both my parents are dead. I was so jealous of people with big families. Do you see them often? Are there loads of kids?”
He grinned. “My sister has five kids. They’re all under ten. I don’t get to see them that often, but they’re a loud bunch. It’s always hectic. They’re growing up fast.”
She could imagine him sitting on the floor with children climbing all over him, pulling his curls and all vying for his attention. “Do you want kids?”
“Yes.” His answer was immediate. “I’m not sure it’ll happen, though. I work too much to meet someone.”
“I know the feeling.”
Cassie pushed away images of her standing on the sidelines watching as kids climbed all over Vikram. Their kids.
So they kissed a bit, they found each other attractive, that definitely didn’t mean long-term relationship and a horde of children to come home to at the end of the day.
She was being silly.
Fiona’s words were plaguing her, though. If she kept working, took Archie’s job, then there’d be no time for her to have kids. She’d rather not have kids than to neglect them by always being at work.
“Maybe we both need to change jobs,” she joked. “Find some nice boring office work to do.”
“I’ve considered it,” he said, deadly serious. “My family owns a farm. There would always be a job for me there, if I wanted it. They pushed me to be a bodyguard, though. I was the only one in the family who had ever been approached by the firm about joining. It’s a very honorable profession on my planet.”
“Do you like it, though? Nothing else matters if you’re unhappy.”
He looked down at her, eyebrows pulling together. “I don’t know, really.”
“You don’t know?”
“I like it sometimes. It depends who I’m working with.”
“I suppose you don’t always get people as great as me.” She bumped her arm against his, wishing she could keep herself pushed against him. He was so warm, and the breeze was brisk.
“You joke, but this is the most enjoyment I’ve had in years.”
Her heart stuttered, and while it probably wasn’t really that much of a compliment to rank higher than some politicians who just wanted him to follow them around, silent and imposing, it still made her fuzzy to hear it. “Well you’re the best bodyguard I’ve ever had, too.”
“Am I the first?”
“Yes.”
He laughed. “I’ll take it. What’s the plan when we get home?”
“Research, I suppose. I might go and talk to the Tevisians. They weren’t at the funeral. I can go and see if I can get any information out of them.”
He frowned. “I was hoping you’d abandoned that plan.”
“It’s not a bad plan. I know what I’m doing.”
She definitely didn’t know what she was doing, but she couldn’t tell Vikram that. She had to try. Seeing Fiona and giving her speech had made her even more determined not to let anyone get away with what they’d done to Archie. The conference was already whizzing by and she’d been too focused on it to have made headway with the Tevisians or on how she was going to put the memory card to best use.
She hated to admit that Vikram had been taking up so much time. She’d spent too much of it just sitting and talking to him, kissing him, laying in bed thinking about him. She was wasting time she should be spending doing her job.
But he was just so distracting.
She was going to have to make him promise not to speak to her when they got back so she could try and get some work done.
They reached the ship and Vikram pulled his keys from his pocket.
Then there was a loud pop behind them.
Everything happened at once.
The assassin, face covered and gun raised, shot three times. Vikram pushed Cassie behind him and flew into an immediate rage, launching himself at the assassin.
Another pop and the assassin disappeared just before Vikram would have crashed into her.
He was left scanning the surroundings with keen slitted eyes, his huge red body hunched and ready to dart, fangs bared. She was gone, though. Teleportation couldn’t have taken her more than a couple of miles, but it was more than far enough for her to disappear before Vikram would have ever found her.
Cassie stepped forward. She needed him to stand still so she could make sure none of the bullets had hit him. He wouldn’t be able to feel them as much in the rage.
She chewed on her bottom lip, hoping he’d meant it when he said there was no way he’d attack her when he was in a rage. He towered over her, and he could have crushed her in a second.
She touched his forearm gently. “Vikram—”
In an instant his hand was around her throat, and she gasped, eyes wide, but her automatic reaction wasn’t to try and pull him off. If he was going to kill her, he would have just snapped her neck, not restrained her. She met his gaze, waiting for him to release her.
But he didn’t.
He kissed her.
He walked her backwards, hand still around her throat, until her back was pushed against the cold metal of their ship. His lips devoured her, fangs dragging along the soft skin of her bottom lip.
For a moment she was too stunned to kiss him back. She knew she should push him away, ask him what he thought he was doing, but her body was on fire and she gave into it.
The hand around her throat was turning her on more than it should have been, and she groaned as he tightened it just a little, his knee forcing her legs apart and wedging between them. The ship was cold on her back through the flimsy blouse she had on, and Vikram was scalding at her front, even hotter than normal as blood pounded through him.
He had no fear as he released her throat and laced a hand through her hair instead, pulling her neck back and kissing down her throat.
Somewhere, through the suddenly lust-filled haze she was in, she realized they needed to get inside the ship. They’d just come from a funeral, and if anyone saw this it would be a disaster.
She blindly thrust her hand to the side and felt around for the button that would open the ship, groaning and almost giving in when Vikram’s fingers pinched her hard nipple through her shirt.
“Inside,” she breathed, not daring to look around and see if they’d been spotted as Vikram hoisted her legs around his hips to carry her inside. His skin was starting to fade from the vibrant red, but he showed no signs of stopping. He shut the door and pushed her into it, grinding his hips against her entrance. Even through their clothes, it was enough to make her head fall back and groan.
“I want you,” she pleaded, fingers running down his scorching arm. She almost stopped when she saw the blood, but he didn’t seem to feel the wound, and she was too turned on to demand he stop to make sure he was okay. It was just a graze, and she was scared if they stopped now it might never start again.
“Impatient,” he growled, voice even deeper than normal. He was so primal like this, pushing her blouse up and her bra down, not bothering to undo either. He played with one of her nipples, watching her face with an intense stare as she struggled not to moan too loudly. His eyes were back to normal now, and his fangs were retracting.
She tugged on his hair, wanting to kiss him again, but he took her wrists in one of his and held them above her head. She pushed back, but she was nowhere near strong enough to break free.
Vikram was completely in control, and she loved it.
He teased her for what seemed like hours, flicking and rolling her nipples between his fingers, lowering his head and sucking on them until she was writhing and pleading with him to fuck her. He’d just look up and grin, and grind against her sex, dragging her so close to the edge but never pushing her over.
She’d never been made to feel like this before. She wasn’t a virgin, but the few sexual experiences she’d had were quick and over and done with before she’d had time to start enjoying them.
This was almost too much enjoyment.
She thought she might go insane as she struggled against his hold, wanting desperately to touch him. She was dying to get into his pants and feel his cock beneath her hands, to kiss down his hard body and take him into her mouth.
Even just to get his clothes off and see the solid muscle of his chest.
But instead she had to endure his caresses, roll her hips against his, never getting enough friction to get herself off.
“Vikram,” she begged, chest heaving as he bit on her nipple gently and sent a jolt straight to her core. “Please. Please fuck me. Please.”
His hand finally trailed down from her breast and nimbly undid the button and zip on her pants, pushing them and her panties down her legs. “I could watch you like this forever,” he murmured, face level with hers, breaths mingled. His eyes were dark and his breath uneven, even though she hadn’t even managed to touch him yet.
“I can’t take this forever.” She tightened her legs around his hips, and captured his bottom lip between her teeth, tugging it and knitting her brows in a beg. “I need you to fuck me.”
Finally, his control snapped. He was entirely back to normal now in terms of appearance, but that primal attitude hadn’t disappeared. He almost ripped his pants, getting them down around his ankles, and took himself in hand for just a few strokes before his cock was at her entrance.
She took the decision away from him, the only bit of control she’d had so far, and sank down onto his cock. They groaned together, his hand tightening on her wrists as she adjusted to him. He was big—big enough that she worried for a moment she wouldn’t be able to take him as he thrust slowly upward until he was buried to the hilt.
She shut her eyes, breathing as the sting of pain disappeared. She rolled her hips, letting him know she was okay, and his control vanished.
His fingers bit into her hip as he fucked her hard and fast against the wall of the ship. Curses spilled from her mouth as he hit just the right spot inside her again and again. His face was buried in her neck and he bit and sucked on the skin there. He was leaving a mark, and it turned her on to know she was going to be able to look at it and remember him pressed against her, buried inside her, her name on his lips.
She arched her back, taking him even deeper, and gasped as her body tensed. She was so close.
He was close, too. He dug nails into her skin, but hard enough for it to hurt, and picked up his pace until it was erratic.
She fell apart with a long moan, digging heels into his back and keeping him inside her as he came.
Finally, when they were both spent, he released her wrists. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a kiss, having to pull back after a few seconds to catch her breath. “Holy shit,” she muttered, squeezing her eyes shut and praying he wasn’t going to shut down now. She didn’t think she could deal with him having a crisis of conscience that soon after something so emotional.
It should haven’t been emotional—it was just sex, it was just getting each other off because their chemistry was insane—but Cassie was feeling so overwhelmed she worried she’d cry if he shut off from her now.
He didn’t, though. He nuzzled his face against her neck, softly kissing the area he’d been abusing when they fucked. “Let’s go and lie down.”
“And I can finally touch you?”
He grinned, and it lit up his face. He looked so gorgeous when he wasn’t guarding his expressions. “I suppose I’ll allow it.”