MICHEL HANDED ME A TOWEL at the end of practice at the home studio. I’d taken him up on his offer to keep my dance routine going during my suspension. “You’re going to be fine, and if not, you will work until you are.”
I nodded in agreement, though a nervous chill ran down my spine. “Thank you.”
Even though I had managed to practice every day, I’d be behind wherever the company was when I returned the next day. How far, I’d find out when I danced. How long would all be up to me, and I was anxious to get back.
I picked up my phone and quickly checked the status of an expected delivery to my new place. It had taken almost two weeks for a one-bedroom apartment in Zoey’s building on West 77th to be ready, and I’d house sat for one of Michel’s friends in the meantime. It was well worth the wait. Not only would I have my best friend nearby, it was spacious, modern, a short walk to work, and best of all, mine—although not a big hit with Michel, who didn’t hide how much he missed having me around.
“I know I can’t persuade you to stay for dinner, but would you please let me give you a ride back to your place?” he pleaded.
I pointed down to my feet and flexed them. “I’m all set.”
“You can be on your own and still take a ride home,” Michel protested. “Tyler has his hands full.”
I dipped my head and my heart turned over. Michel mentioning Tyler was his way of getting me to talk about him, but I hadn’t much to share. We hadn’t seen each other in the last two weeks. The first week were mainly the two of us holding our breaths in hopes our story wouldn’t make the press. The only thing that had was a story about Tyler’s arrest, which had been retracted after he filed suit against the news magazines that ran the false story. Even I had to admit, the image of the black eye and cop car appeared damaging, although I had been there when it happened. My brother Antony, whom I hadn’t talked to since, had done it, and he’d been fortunate that Tyler had chosen not to reveal the cause of the black eye or file charges. Instead, he’d made a statement that he’d donate the settlement to the joint program and foundation, should he win. I was proud of him.
Michel hugged my shoulder, bringing me back from my thoughts. “Is Tyler back from the away games?”
I nodded. He had attended his team’s away games to support them even though he hadn’t been allowed to play. “He has a game tomorrow.”
“See him,” Michel said. “You fought us all to have him. Don’t shut him out. Let him support you.”
I agreed. Tyler and I had both stood up for our relationship and taken the consequences. However, I needed to take care of some things myself before I brought him back into my life. That said, I didn’t want to be without him for long. I only hoped he was still willing to wait for me.
“I will,” I said. “Very soon.”
Michel kissed my cheeks and I was on the way to the front door when my bag slipped from my shoulder. A quick examination of the worn strap let me know I’d need to replace it soon. Once I was sure it was secure enough not to explode on the street, I returned to the door. Before I left, Priscilla stepped into the hallway. The initial elation at seeing her face quickly changed to a knot in my stomach. Even if it had been weeks, I still hadn’t gotten past her interference.
“Scarlet, can we please talk?”
“I don’t have time,” I said politely. “I need to get home.”
She came closer. “I want you to know that I never wanted you to move out.”
“It’s for the best,” I responded, sardonic. “I must go. See you soon, Michel,” I said to him when he reached her side.
She stopped me again by saying, “I talked to your mother today. She will not be needing surgery.”
I gave her a nod and a lump lodged in my throat. “I know.”
Vince, Phillip, and Antony had all sent me texts to let me know; Ma was still upset and not speaking to me.
“She’s very pleased that you’ve been working hard on your dancing every day,” she added. “Are you and Tyler seeing each other? Your mother calls me every day to ask, but I don’t have anything to share because you’re not talking to me.” Her tone was casual, but I wasn’t fooled.
My lips twisted into a smile. Out of all the things that had gone wrong, it pleased me to no end that Priscilla couldn’t be an informant. “Ma’s got my number. As for Tyler, he respects my need to handle things on my own for now. He’s still in my life and he’s not going anywhere.” Now report that back.
She covered her mouth with her hand and my stomach sank. I hated hurting her, but I wouldn’t go back to being her perfect princess. “Good night, Priscilla. I hope one day you’ll understand.”
“Please.” She took my hands. “I really thought that by speaking with Christophe and your mom, I was helping you. I believe in your talent and drive to become a principal dancer one day. What I did came from love, not because I want to ruin you having a relationship, but you both hid and had Michel keeping secrets from me.”
Michel immediately came to my defense. “They both tried to tell you that evening.”
She nodded. “I know that now, but honestly what I’d known about Tyler was that he was suspended, but trying to keep with the program, which I was more than happy to support. Then I come to find out he’s been secretly seeing you, not to mention his playboy reputation. I panicked. I’m sorry, and I’ll apologize to you both for the way I behaved. You came here for support, not more restriction. What I’m trying to say is that I’m not perfect, but I love you.”
Priscilla’s perspective provided more clarity about what I had thought was a betrayal on her part. Truthfully, it was our own doing. If it hadn’t been her, someone else would have told, and what I realized in that moment was that neither of us was perfect, and she had taken the first step in repairing our relationship.
I took the next.
I went into her open arms and saw the joy on Michel’s face over her shoulder as I smiled back at him. After telling her I loved her and another goodbye to them both, I left.
The sky was blanketed with clouds, mostly dark gray. Rain was coming soon and had me hurrying on the two-mile walk from their home to my own, with only the distraction of lilies and nectarines that got me to spend a few dollars before arriving at my new apartment. I made it just in time. After the delivery person tried a few positions, they got the plastic casing through my narrow front door. I was overjoyed.
I set up the wooden coffee table in my small living dinette area, along with a small vase of flowers and a bowl of nectarines. I was so pleased with the aesthetic that I took my phone out to take a photo, and I sent it along to the two people I thought would appreciate it most, Zoey and Tyler.
Zoey sent me a thumbs-up along with, Can’t wait to see you tomorrow.
I couldn’t either, no matter what came my way.
Scarlet.Ricci: Me neither. Going in early.
Zoey.Wilson: BTW, Quinn’s available. He said he’d go out with you again
She had to be joking.
Scarlet.Ricci: Tell him I’m still sick
After a few minutes of my pulse racing, I dialed Tyler’s number. He answered on the first ring and said, “Cute photo, but take another one and include your beautiful face.” The pleasure in his voice and his flattery had my heart skipping a beat. “Tell me about the rest of the setup of your new home.”
I looked around and gave him a description. “I have a fabric couch, Berber carpet with some laminated floors, two large windows in the living room that are just like Zoey’s, and very plain white walls that are begging for a few pieces of art.”
“What would you like?” he asked. “I can send you a housewarming present.”
I whined in an exaggerated way. “You’ve already given me a juicer and a grocery gift card for more food than I’ll get this year, besides the three days off my suspension. That’s already too much.”
“It’s nothing,” he said, his tone softening. “My lawyer tried for more, but the company wouldn’t budge. I’m sorry—sorry about a lot of things with you.”
“Don’t be,” I pleaded. “We’ll get past it, and everything else.”
Everything else was a new start and a way back together.
“Can I see you after my game?” he asked. “I won’t take too much of your time and I’ll take you straight home afterward.” The pain in his voice had me wanting to scream yes. Still, I didn’t know how I’d feel after my first day back. Therefore, I told him, “I’ll try…I’ll call either way.”
“Oh, okay,” he said. “Thank you. I miss you, sweetheart.”
My heart warmed. “I miss you too,” I said softly then ended the call.
I love you.
I went to bed early, but I hardly slept, too anxious to return to dance. I gave up around four and was the first one outside the door when they opened the studio. After a warm-up, I took to the polished floor and stretched, twirled, and leapt until the fear I had subsided and the familiarity of the place set back in.
The ballet was my home, and I was determined it would always be—or at least that was my mindset until the first cuts came on my way into the dressing room.
“Did you see her in the studio?” Right away, I recognized the voice as Yasmine. “She’s trying to act like she didn’t do anything.”
Claudette cackled. “Oh, I bet she did something to get Tyler to be with her. I still don’t know why he chose her.”
Yasmine snorted. “I told you her innocent shit was all an act. I was sure I saw her sneaking around with him a few weeks back. I even told Irena, but she dismissed me. Christophe was furious when I told him she knew about it.”
“Rumor has it Irena’s looking for a new job,” Claudette said with a snicker.
My stomach lurched. Had Irena lost her job for trusting me?
“That’s the only good thing about it. I got the solo demos,” Yasmine said. “Christophe has put me forward with the board to do the press and luncheon for the joint program.”
“That’s good, but, well…” Claudette said.
“What?” Yasmine snipped.
“We’re the only ones talking about it now,” Claudette said. “It never made it to the press, and you know the instructors still have a thing for her. They’ll just go back to giving her special treatment.”
“No special treatment,” I said, announcing my presence and walking over to my cabinet. “I work just like the rest of you.”
“On your back,” Claudette quipped, and they all laughed.
“Jealousy is a cruel thing,” I said calmly.
“Leave her alone,” Zoey said, walking in and giving me a hug. “I’m glad to have you back.”
“No one is jealous of you,” Yasmine snipped. “You’re nothing but another slut chasing after a pro athlete. Around here, you’re nobody they want to use for anything. I have your gala solo, and I hear Zoey’s been rehearsing Sugar Plum Fairy.”
I blinked at Zoey and she averted her gaze. “I was just asked to work on the dance. It’s not official that I’m a soloist or taking over.”
I hugged her. “I believe you should be a soloist, Zoey. I couldn’t think of anyone more deserving. I’d be happy if they did give you Sugar Plum Fairy.”
“Thank you, Scarlet.” She hugged me tightly.
We let go of each other and finished getting ready for the start of practice.
I hydrated and fixed my shoes before returning to the studio, taking a place at the back. When the room filled with the rest of the company and the scents of liquid skin, tiger balm, and sweat crossed my senses, I could have wept. This was my world, and I reveled in it.
Christophe entered and immediately went into warm-ups, then called Yasmine to his side, where he confirmed what she had said in the changing room. “Yasmine will be the spokesperson for the joint program as well as other pursuits we will be presenting soon. From now on, she’ll be working as my assistant for the class. Irena will move on to more administrative responsibilities.”
I was relieved to know she hadn’t been fired. He went through our usual routine and demonstration then divided us into groups and did assessments on our progress.
“Good form, Zoey. Watch your lift, Claudette.”
And then it was my turn. I did my leap and my landing on point.
Christophe looked right through me. “Let’s move on.”
That was the way the practices and rehearsals went throughout the day.
My heart shattered by the end and I had to clench my hand to stifle the sobs that rose in my throat, not wanting to hear anyone attempt to encourage me when what I saw was painfully obvious: no praise, no reprimand, nothing. Yasmine was right—I no longer exist.
Before the end of the afternoon practice, he announced, “We have seats near the sidelines for today’s soccer game. I expect all of you to go and support the participants and players in the show. I won’t lie, the sales for the event are low. We need all your support on this.”
I stared down at my feet, not able to help feeling responsible and less certain I should go. However, I had told Tyler I’d meet him there. I thought perhaps I should get a ticket on my own, and with that in mind, I quickly changed, attempting to avoid any more of Yasmine’s and Claudette’s catty posturing, then my handbag slipped again and the contents fell out.
I went to push them all back in when one of my tampons caught my eye and my mind did a quick run-through. When was my last period?
Zoey tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention then asked, “Do you want to ride with me up to Yankee Stadium?”
I secured my bag back on my shoulder. “No…um, I mean, I’m going, but I shouldn’t sit with the company.”
“Of course you should. This is still your family,” she said, loud enough for everyone to hear.
I nodded and tensed. She was right. “All right. I’ll go.”
Our step out into the hallway had us crossing Christophe’s path.
“On your way to support our company?” His gaze was sharp when he landed on me, making me focus on the scuffs on my shoes. I’d have to get past my embarrassment about disappointing him soon.
“Yes,” Zoey answered. “We both are.”
“Make sure you have your uniform on for the photos we arranged,” he said to Zoey.
“Yes, Christophe,” she said, unzipping the front of her tracksuit to reveal a blue leotard. “My skirt and instructions are in the bag.”
He gave her a nod and said, “See you both there. Don’t be late.”
We got in her car and I Googled directions as we caught up with each other on what was going on. She was still dating Kyle, but he was already complaining about her dance schedule. Tyler may have wanted to see me, but he understood the practice and dedication that was needed to dance. He had the same commitment to soccer.
“So how are you settling in?” she asked.
I launched into some of my recent purchases and discoveries in our neighborhood, which had us both exchanging ideas for places to go together when our schedules allowed for it.
“You know,” she said. Her voice squeaked and I laughed. “We should have gone to the manager and asked to move into one of their two bedrooms together.”
“I’m sleeping with your brother.” I managed to say it without blushing—though sleeping wasn’t what we did, or what I hoped we’d do once we started seeing each other again. Even if I hadn’t been with him, my feelings hadn’t changed. I was still in love with him.
Zoey pumped the horn before taking the exit to the highway. “I suppose I could learn to live with it, if he makes you happy.”
“He does,” I assured.
“I’m beginning to understand that.” She blew out her breath. “Why else would you both get in all that trouble?”
“True,” I admitted. “I love him.”
She spoke again once we were stopped by a traffic light. “I want our friendship back. I’ve missed you.”
I smiled. “I’ve missed you too…but what would make everything better is if you and Tyler were friendly again. You both have been close for, well, forever. Tyler and I made our choices together. If you’re talking to me, you should be talking to him too.”
“I love him, you know. We’ve always had each other’s backs,” she said. “I was just upset about how he’d been fucking up lately when he told everyone he was straightening up to advance his career. Then he was suspended, missed games, and got kicked out of the program. He brought trouble for you, but I understand you both did that together. I’ve gotten crazy heat at the company these past couple weeks, and he’s in for a dose of tough love. He needs to get his shit together.”
I understood that, but we both knew there was a lot more to every one of those points. He wasn’t just a fuckup. He was working his butt off. He’d just ended up with me, and she needed to get past it. “And?” I drawled out.
“And I’ll see him later this week. Okay?” she grumbled.
I grinned. It was a start.
The closer we got to the Bronx, the more my pulse pounded. I wasn’t as certain of my welcome with the company. On top of that, I was concerned about seeing Tyler again. Was it right to keep pushing him away when I had already taken steps to change my life? Would he continue to wait for me?
I jittered with anticipation once we were inside the stadium. We went down the tunnel to the seats near the home team’s sideline. While Zoey was waved ahead to sit in the seats reserved for the participants in the joint program, the side glances and cupped hand whispers started, and several eyeballs on me had me taking the seat farthest back just as the jumbotron zeroed in on our section and the announcer boomed, “Welcome New York Ballet.”
I joined in the wave while looking around the sidelines to find Tyler, but to my disappointment, I didn’t see him.
Zoey, Yasmine, and Claudette left with Christophe down the side tunnel. When they reappeared, they had on matching blue leotards and tulle skirts. They grouped onto the field where they were met by Coach Frost, Javier, Lance, and Erik in their uniforms on a raised platform that was set up on the pitch. After the national anthem, a dark-haired male around our age with striking looks and a fashion-forward suit strolled onto the stage amidst catcalls and stopped at the microphone that was now set up there.
“I’m Paul Crane from the Crane Arts Foundation and the Salomé Love Legacy program,” he announced. “The program raises funds for arts programs throughout the world and I’m proud to be a part of the joint program, bringing together athletes and the creative arts. This fall, we are hosting the ballet Le Parc.”
He moved to the side, and the sound of DJ Khaled and Rhianna’s “Wild Thoughts” started to play.
Javier and Yasmine stepped forward and did a pas de deux. Critically, Javier was stiff, his arm jerky, but at least he followed steps—unlike Yasmine, who improvised a grip on his buttocks. It turned out to be a crowd pleaser, so what did I know?
Javier added a spontaneous kiss down her neck, bringing them further off script. Both appeared more focused on showing off—all what Christophe would have called cheap thrills, and not the heart of the sensuality and passion of the ballet. I could see from the set of his shoulders, he was less than impressed. I was sure Tyler would have provided a better showing. I did another search for Tyler and finally found him. He had his back to the crowd and he was in uniform, but like me, alone.
My stomach muscles twisted with guilt. If I hadn’t been with Tyler, he would’ve performed and provided a better presentation of the performance.
The rest of the group did a twirl and back dip to end the short ensemble, and though the dance could have gone better, the crowd cheered all the same. Photographers came up and took photos then soon after, the game started. Would the performance provide enough buzz to make the program a success? Even with Tyler’s reputation, he was a bigger star on the team, and the press would be more interested in putting him on the front page or across social media.
The group returned and Yasmine’s eyes looked glossy while Christophe’s face was pensive, leaving no doubt that he’d let them all know his displeasure in their performance. The quiet in our section thickened the air, and he didn’t need to say another word. We all needed to work to do better. I vowed to do my part and help in any way I could from there on out.
The set was cleared away and the game started. To my relief, the energy shifted to the New York F.C. and New York Red Bulls running out on the field. The Red Bulls won the toss and had the ball down near Ace at the New York F.C. goal. My heart pounded as I got caught up in the energy of the crowd and play. The Bulls dominated the ball, and when New York F.C. had it, they couldn’t get around the defense to score.
Tyler stood up by the sidelines, clapping and yelling out to his team members.
“Javier out, Wilson in,” a group chanted in the stands. He didn’t respond, and neither did Coach Frost.
Halftime came, and the team went to the sidelines. The players went to Coach Frost and then off to the locker rooms. They didn’t have much interaction with Tyler, and I agonized for him.
Tyler was having a hard time too, and the words I had spoken earlier to Zoey came back to haunt me. He needed me.