Chapter 13

Jennie

It felt like only moments ago that Magnus had carried me to bed, stripping away my clothes before tucking me under the covers, but I knew it was much longer than that by the sunlight streaming in through the partially open blinds. I rolled over and saw the nicest thing I could hope for on a Sunday morning.

The blankets had slipped down to Magnus’ naked waist. It surprised me that he slept in the nude, since he was always so cold. I reached over to draw the covers up over him and saw something under his right arm as I did. It was writing.

Curiosity won out over worrying about waking him, and I lifted his arm to get a better look. It was writing! Fire in your heart, ice in your veins. He’d gotten a tattoo. To say I was shocked didn’t begin to describe my feelings over the tattoo. It was obvious that he’d just gotten it. I hadn’t seen it before, and I was privy to every inch of that man’s skin. Even though it wasn’t red anymore, it was plainly fresh. He’d gotten it in Phoenix, maybe.

I poked him in the ribs, which only got me a grunt as he rolled over, facing away from me. Next I poked him in the butt cheek. And what a beautiful butt it was. Out of my control, my hands roamed over his bare back and downward, the new ink all but forgotten.

Magnus was so muscled, so hard that he could have been a sculpture. An exquisite sculpture at that. His groan changed from annoyed to interested. He flopped onto his back and raised his arm in invitation for me to lie on his chest. It was an invite I couldn’t resist.

My lips latched onto his nipple as I scooted closer, bringing forth other happy noises from his rapidly waking body. His eyes shot open, but we didn’t speak. My tongue passed over his abdominal muscles, making them quiver in the way that I liked. After a quick detour to the writing on his ribs, I lifted my face and confronted him. “Nice tattoo, Mags.”

“You want to talk about that now?”

“Just seems like something you would have mentioned.”

He grunted again when I licked the words once more.

“It was spur of the moment. I like your words. Now, if you would continue…”

They were really only borrowed words, but continue I did. As I worked my way south, I allowed my teeth to come out and pay homage to his pronounced Adonis V. Jesus, he was splendid. “Ah, Jennie.” His voice was rough with unspent passion.

I wanted to climb on top of him, but first I needed to taste him. I stroked him a time or two and then ran my finger over the head of his cock, licking it as I came away with the first drops of his pleasure. He was raised up on his elbows, watching me. I was fortunate enough to observe the way his eyes rolled back in his head when I slowly swallowed his cock.

“You are so goddamn good at that. You’re killing me.”

I granted myself another minute of sliding my lips and tongue up and down his magnificent erection before climbing back up his body. “I need you inside me.”

He gripped my hips and guided me over him. I gradually lowered myself and took him in inch by delicious inch. When I began to move, Magnus stopped me. “Condom, Jennie.”

“Yes. In a minute.” I liked the feel of him without that damn latex between us, and I also knew, without a doubt, that he’d never allow it if it were unsafe for me.

His hands wandered over my breasts, cupping and squeezing them as I continued to ride him, my breath coming in more urgent pants. I’d never wanted anyone like I did Magnus. No one had ever been able to make me come just from being inside me. He felt so…fucking…good.

Mags grunted. “Jennie—condom.”

“Yes. Soon.” Fuck, I didn’t want to stop. Condoms should have been, but were not, at the forefront of my concern. “Oh, God, just a little more.” I increased my tempo, feeling my insides tighten in preparation for a most glorious orgasm.

“So close!”

“Jennie—”

“I’m coming, Mags. Oh, God, I’m coming!”

“Fuck.” His words didn’t register until I started coming back down from my mindless abandon and watched his back arch as he spilled himself inside of me.

***

In hindsight, I should have listened to Mags.

“I’m sorry, Jennie. I should have pulled out.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m the one who should be sorry, but you make me forget myself. Hell, when you’re inside of me, I forget my own name.”

His cocky smile said it all. He was sorry but not sorry. At least with today’s medical advances, I could go to the drug store and get a morning-after pill. I was also going to make a doctor’s appointment and start taking birth control pills.

He winked at me from his vantage point of sitting against the headboard while I rested with my head on his legs, looking up at him. “You’re forgiven, but we can’t make that a habit, right?”

“Well no, of course not.” I told him my plans, and he was satisfied enough to go for it again, figuring there was no need to bother with a condom since I was going to have to take that pill anyway. And later, round three was the same.

***

Mags and I spent a quiet, sex-filled Sunday together, and then I went home in the evening to do laundry, clean a bit, and do all of the other little things I hadn’t gotten done over the weekend.

It was Tuesday afternoon before I remembered that I’d never gotten the morning-after pill, or Plan B, as it was called. “Fuck!” Given that I was sitting in my office at the network with my door open, I clamped a hand over my mouth—as if that would make my yelled F-bomb not be heard by any of my co-workers.

Izzy came running in. “What happened?” Two more people peeked their heads in the door.

Racking my brain, I came up with the lame excuse of having just gotten a seriously bad papercut. I wrapped my hand around the alleged damaged digit until everyone walked away. Then I dialed Izzy’s extension whispering, “Can you come back in here?” She returned in seconds. “Close the door.”

She fumbled with the door, whether in concern or fear, I didn’t know. Her voice was soft as she asked, “What’s wrong, Jen? Are you sick or something?”

Her worry made me feel bad. “What? No. I’m sorry, Iz. I’m okay. Well, maybe.”

She walked over and took a seat in front of my desk. “Tell me what I can do to help.”

“You’re the best friend ever, you know that?” To my embarrassment, a sob burst out of my mouth. “Mags and I had sex.”

Her brow furrowed. “Honey, you two have been doing it like rabbits for weeks. What’s your point?”

Oh, this was mortifying. “I got overzealous. Mags told me to get a condom several times. I kept telling him to wait, and then it was too late. I wasn’t worried about it, and I told him not to worry because I would get a morning-after pill. So we had sex twice more on Sunday without using a condom.”

Her body relaxed as she listened to me. “Okay, so what’s the problem? If you take those pills in the first twenty-four hours, they’re almost as reliable as being on birth control. I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

I let my head hit the desk with a thump and mumbled.

“What? Jennie, I couldn’t hear you.”

I lifted my head and spoke the words that were previously stuck in my throat. “I forgot.”

“You forgot what?” Her eyes opened wide as she got my meaning. “Whoa…wait. You forgot? To get the pill? Oh, my God, Jennie…you forgot to get the fucking pill?”

No other words would form, so I settled for a numb nod.

“When? Sunday, you said? You had sex Sunday?”

“Uh huh.”

She got up as she ticked off her fingers and came around to my side of the desk, pulling me up by the arm. Once I was standing, she opened my bottom drawer and grabbed my purse. “Let’s go. You’re still within the window of time for the pill to work. It’s going to be fine.”

It wasn’t going to be fine. I knew it in my gut. I thought about the last time I’d had my period and quickly did the math. We’d had unprotected sex at the worst possible time in my cycle. Or best, if one wanted to get pregnant. As much as I loved spending time with Mags, I was in no way ready to become a mother to his child.

We got to the pharmacy in record time. I asked to have a word with the pharmacist and then took a seat to wait.

“Jennie Fields?”

I shot up out of my chair, Izzy glued to my side. “Yes! That’s me.” We walked over to the somewhat private divider. “Um, I wanted to ask you about the morning-after pill.” I felt like an idiot, but to her credit, she just gave me an encouraging smile.

“Sure. What would you like to know?”

I shifted from foot to foot. “Well, I should have come in, err, Sunday, but…” I was a smart, independent woman, and I felt like a moron. How the hell could I have forgotten?

“But?” Her smile was still in place.

“Oh, God. I forgot.” I held up my hand in defense, although it wasn’t needed.

“Oh, Jennie. Please don’t think you’re the only one this has ever happened to. We’re all human—including the man involved. The Plan B pill is still eighty-nine percent effective up to seventy-two hours. Where were you in your cycle?”

I didn’t want to tell her. I knew how the pill worked and how its effectiveness diminished with certain factors. I lowered my head and answered her through upraised eyes. “Worst possible time. About two weeks after the start of my last period.”

She frowned. It wasn’t the most encouraging look I’d ever gotten. “Okay. That’s not the perfect scenario, but there’s another way to go if you do indeed become pregnant, but let’s get you the morning-after pill now—and a bottle of water.”

Jesus. If she thought I should take it that very second, I was in trouble. Of course I already knew that. I didn’t doubt my gut. She came back after five minutes and handed me the packet containing one pill and a bottle of water. “Bottoms up.”

I took the pill but felt no answering relief. “When will I know if this doesn’t work?”

She thought a minute, doing her own calculations. “If you’re very regular, I’d say by Christmas. If you don’t get your period by then, you can think about the other pill.”

“What other pill?”

The smile left her face, but she didn’t sound judgmental when she said, “The abortion pill.”

Oh, my God. I could never. Not when I was responsible for getting myself in this situation. It was one thing, in my mind, to prevent a pregnancy, but quite another to kill a viable living thing. “Thank you, but I won’t be back for that.” I felt sick. I only hoped it was from the topic of conversation and not an unplanned pregnancy.

***

I had to tell Mags. I knew it was the right thing to do, but the devil in me decided to put it off. Why tell him now when I didn’t even know if I was pregnant yet? If I waited and then found out I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have to freak him out. In my mind, that was the kindest thing to do. And the route that took the least amount of courage from me.

When Christmas Eve rolled around and there was still no visit from my monthly friend, my courage flagged even more. I was giving it a few more days to appear, and then I’d risk it all and pee on a stick. I tried to push it out of my mind as best as I could.

“Come on, Jennie.”

For a change, Izzy was prodding me into action instead of the other way around. Her grandfather had been doing better than expected on his new medication, and we were picking him up at the home to bring him back to her house for the night so they’d be together on Christmas morning.

“Coming.” The three of us had spent the last two Christmas Eves together. Christmas Day would be a bit different this year. All of us were invited to Magnus’ for what he called a feast of a lifetime.

Magnus’ parents were in town for the holiday season. I’d met them briefly after a game a couple of days ago—which the Breakers won. I’d loved them instantly. His mother had enveloped me in a giant hug, and then his father did the same. I’d clung to both of them. Their hugs had reminded me of my own parents and their caring of me. God, I missed them.

Izzy tapped her foot. “Today?”

“Are you serious? Now you know how it feels to have to wait on someone all…the…time.”

Her smile gave her away. “I’m just yanking your chain. We have plenty of time.” She rooted around in her purse. “Here, I got you something.”

She handed me a pregnancy test.

“I can’t. Not yet.”

She placed it in my hands and wrapped my fingers around it. “Jen, you can. Maybe it won’t even work yet, but you’re my best bud. I know your moods and you have definitely not gotten your friend yet. Go. Pee on the stick. Isn’t it worse not knowing?”

“No, because I already know. Iz, I can feel it. I know I’m pregnant.” Shit. I said it out loud. Crap on a cracker, maybe I was wrong. Well, I could possibly find out. “Ah, dammit. Fine. Give that to me.”

I ran to the bathroom and peed on the stick. After I washed my hands—and tidied up the stick—I took it back out to the living room. “Okay, set your phone for two minutes.”

She took my directive and then grabbed my hands. “No matter what this shows, Jen, it’s going to be okay. If you’re not pregnant, great. If you are, well, I’m going to be the best aunt who ever lived, okay? If Mags doesn’t want to be involved, which I highly doubt, you’ll never be alone. It’s you and me forever, right?”

Tears sprang to my eyes. I swallowed hard to keep them at bay as I squeezed her hands. “Forever. I love you, Iz. You know that, right?”

Her eyes brightened, but she held strong. “Yup. Back atcha.”

We stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity before her phone beeped. Both of us glanced at the stick that I’d put on the coffee table. She reached for it. “Ready?”

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Somehow I’d known since I realized I forgot to get the Plan B pill. I just knew. “Ready.” And there it was. A blue plus sign. I was pregnant with Magnus Eriksson’s baby. “Holy shit.”

Izzy hugged me hard. “Oh, my God. I know you’re freaked out right now, but yay! Oh, Jennie, you’re going to have a beautiful little baby, and I’m going to spoil her rotten!” It was hard to give into negative feelings with Izzy being so jubilant.

“Holy shit.” They seemed to be the only words I could bring forward. How was I going to tell Mags? “Mags is going to hate me.” For the second time since I thought I might be pregnant, a sob escaped me.

As always, Izzy was immediately there for me, saying all the right things. “He’s not going to hate you, Jen. You do realize he was present when this happened.”

I ran my dripping nose over my sleeve. “Yes, but it wasn’t his fault. Not really. He warned me—twice.”

“Okay, I’ll give him that, but honey, he knows how babies are made. He’s almost one hundred pounds heavier than you and what, at least half a foot taller? I’m sure he could have gotten you off him in time. You’re not alone in this, and don’t you dare let him say you are.” She then grabbed me in a bear hug, which made me cry harder.

“You know these tears are from hormones, right? You know I’m not a crier.” Actually, I was a crier, and she knew it. I cried at sappy movies, books, and if I saw an animal who looked unhappy. I was a sap.

“Sure, honey. I know.” She pushed me back and then wiped my face with a tissue she’d grabbed out of the box on the end table. “Now put yourself together, because pregnant or not, it’s Christmas Eve! And Jennie, having a baby is a blessing.”

She was right. Such awful things happened around the world every day. How did I dare to feel sorry for myself? I was blessed. “Thanks, Izzy. Let’s go get Pop and drink some margaritas…or a nice glass of water.” I was going to miss my adult beverages. No wine for nine months? Ugh. This pregnancy thing was going to be tough.