Chapter 25
I’m heading home. It’s been so long since I’ve been stateside, but I can’t wait to see my friends and family. Will I recognize them? Will they recognize me?
~ Adventurous Amanda, August 2015
“You’re home early,” Amanda’s mother said to her as she walked through the front door later that night.
“Actually, I was supposed to be home hours ago.” Her flight had been delayed and then cancelled when she’d reached Chicago. She’d gotten Ben’s text and messaged back that she wouldn’t be back until late. And now it was after ten and she was exhausted.
“Oh, I thought you were coming home tomorrow.”
“I came back early. Ben wants to talk.”
“Oh, honey. That’s a good thing. I know it’s a good thing,” her mother said, taking Amanda’s hand and squeezing.
“I hope so. But I also go the job,” she blurted out.
“That’s wonderful,” her mother said, hugging her. Amanda hugged back. They rarely hugged for real. Usually just a quick embrace. But she needed this.
Her mother pulled back. “Is everything okay?” Concern was clear in her mother’s eyes, and matched her own. “This is good, right?”
“Yes. It’s what I want,” she said, rolling back her shoulders.
“And you can work and travel anywhere, right?”
“They want me to move to New York to be near the home office.”
“And what about Ben?”
She sighed, looking anywhere but at her mother. “I don’t know. He wants to talk, so I’m hopeful, but he hates that I’m part of the media, and I don’t know if he can get over that. And this job is perfect. I just need to talk to him first.”
“I’m sure you can work it out. You two are perfect for each other,” she paused. “You remind me of my parents.”
The vise around her heart threatened to halt her breathing, and she stopped to catch her breath, fighting back the tears as she thought about how happy her grandparents had been, as much as she could remember of the time before her grandmother passed away.
“You haven’t seen me with Ben that much. We were always at his place. How do you know?”
“I just know. There’s something between you two, something I’ve searched all my life for.”
“Doesn’t it get exhausting?”
Her mother gave her a small smile. “Of course it does, but you take a chance that the next one is the right one. If you don’t try, then it will never happen. Not taking chances is not living, and you only get one shot at life, so why waste it being scared of what could happen or that you might get hurt?”
“I’m not scared of taking chances. Look at this job I just took,” she said. They’d never talked about this before. She’d never looked at her childhood as her mother taking chances. Just her mother flitting from man to man, and disrupting Amanda’s life along the way.
“Yes. The job. But you never take chances with your heart. It’s never out there and available to anyone. Until Ben. Don’t give up on him. He’s the first guy you’ve put any effort into. That has to count for something. Fights happen. They’re normal.”
“What if I have to move?” She was still waiting for Charlotte’s response. She’d gotten the woman’s out of office this morning, so Monday and her fate couldn’t come soon enough.
“You have to answer that. Can you see yourself without him? Happily traveling the globe by yourself again? Not coming home to him?”
“No,” she whispered.
“Then that’s your answer. Go find him,” her mother said, giving her another hug. Amanda had missed those hugs. More than she realized.
She took out her phone and swiped it on.
Amanda: Where are you?
She waited fifteen minutes, and there was no response. It was late. Maybe he was asleep. But it wasn’t that late. She logged on to the bunny social media page and scrolled through the posts.
Cheesybunny95: Someone spotted a certain captain at the dive bar. Who’s local? #hotmusicalhockeyplayer
Amanda groaned. At least she knew where he was. But now a bunch of bunnies did too. She was surprised he’d gone back to the club after everything that had happened. It broke her heart that he couldn’t show up whenever he wanted anymore. That he couldn’t go there to relax.
“I have to go,” she said to her mother as she pulled up the Uber app on her phone and requested a ride. There was one five minutes away. She had no desire to deal with parking and without a car, Ben would have to bring her home. Preferably to his.
“That’s my girl,” her mother said, grinning at her.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself. This could be a disaster.”
“It won’t. Sometimes you have to have a little faith and know that it will work out in the end.”
“How are you still so optimistic?”
“What other option is there?”
While she couldn’t agree with all the decisions her mother had made over the years, all the disruptions and heartaches that had trailed in her wake, there was something to be said about the spirit her mother never lost. Everyone had different goals. Different dreams. And now that Amanda was an adult, she understood where her mother was coming from. Not that she totally agreed with how her mother had gone about it. But in her mother’s mind, she was trying to give Amanda a better life.
And without that moving around, she might not have spent as much time with her grandparents, who’d provided the stability she’d needed as a child. Even if it wasn’t consistent. And as much as her mother frustrated her, Amanda could finally understand her. It was a start.
“Your car is here,” her mother said, giving Amanda’s hand a squeeze. “Go get him. I’ll make the pancake batter.”
Amanda laughed. It was a little warbled, trying to push through the emotion swarming around in her chest. “Thanks, Mom.”
“Anytime.”
Amanda got into her Uber and settled back in the car. This could blow up in her face. Or it could be exactly what she was waiting for. Fuck, that was scary as hell.
***
A short while later, she stepped out of the car in front of the club and took in a deep breath. She pushed open the door and headed straight to the bar, not looking at the stage. She wanted one of Oscar’s Tom Collins in front of her before she faced Ben. If he’d even talk to her once he spotted her. The band played, and the sound of the guitar, Ben’s guitar, vibrated through her, but she did not glance his way.
Booze first.
“Hey there, stranger. It’s been a while,” Oscar said as she slipped onto an empty bar stool.
“Hi. Been busy.”
“Writing articles and breaking Benny boy’s heart, I hear?” Oscar chided, but there was no malice behind it.
“What? I did not. What did he say?” She kept her gaze focused on Oscar.
He placed his hand on top of hers. “He’s grouchy, and muttered something about that horrible ex of his, and you. He’s hurting, and I’m thinking he realized he was an idiot, so go easy on him.”
She gave Oscar a smile. “I hope you’re right, or you’re just going to have to keep pouring until I forget.”
“I’m always right.”
“So how’s he been? You know, with the new clientele.” She’d spotted a few women that looked out of place. The tight Strikers shirts immediately gave them away, and she wished they’d leave. But she was surprised that he was here tonight.
Oscar shook his head. “Not going to lie, I could do without the fangirls. Ben has only been in a handful of times. Usually on days when even the locals don’t show up.”
“I’m so sorry this happened.”
“It’s not your fault. He was a fool to think his playing here would stay a secret forever. Your article and those gossipy idiots just sped it along,” Oscar said with a crooked smile.
“Thanks, Oscar. Hopefully some non-bunnies will read my article and show up for your perfect Tom Collins and a few stories.”
“We’ve had a few of those, too,” he said. “Let me know if you need anything, and make sure you talk to that boy as soon as he’s done playing.” Then he chuckled. “Tommy was right. If he could see you two now.”
Amanda stared after Oscar as he headed toward an impatient guy at the other end of the bar. What was he talking about?
“We have a treat for you tonight, folks,” Carl’s voice called out from the stage. The stage she still hadn’t looked at.
She took a fortifying sip of her drink and finally turned to face the stage, spotting Ben immediately, her gaze always finding him. And then he stepped up to the microphone. He never did that.
“Benny boy is going to sing,” Carl continued.
“And he never sings, so he could sound awful,” the drummer called out.
Ben turned to glare at the drummer, before facing the now cheering crowd, his cheeks tinged pink, and her heart melted. “Thanks for the support,” he muttered as a few of the bunnies cheered and crowded the stage.
Amanda curled her fingers into her palms in frustration.
“He sings, too,” one of them said. “Oh swoon.”
Amanda gritted her teeth, but ignored them, to stare at Ben again.
“So, this isn’t our usual fare, but if you’ll indulge me.” His grin was adorably sheepish.
The opening chords started, and they sounded familiar. Ben’s voice was a little rough, but it rolled over her, sparking every nerve in her body from her head to her toes. Holy crap. How was he still getting hotter?
But she knew that song. She remembered her grandfather signing it because…
Oh. My. God.
He was singing “Amanda” by Boston. If she had any doubt of his feelings, they had vanished with each song lyric. It was cheesy and beautiful and perfect.
And she’d just taken a job on the other side of the country.
She kept the smile plastered on her face, ignoring the urge to brush aside the tears that had begun to fall as he told her, and everyone else in the bar, that he loved her. He was giving her his heart, and she would do everything in her power to cherish it.
He couldn’t believe he was singing. In front of a crowd. People held up cell phones and recorded him. He didn’t care that it would end up online. This was for her. Showing her that he’d changed, evolved. That he was ready to put himself out there, knowing that his life wasn’t private, but trusting that she’d help him navigate this frightening territory.
As soon as he’d spotted her talking to Oscar, he’d known he had to step up and lay it all out of her. This song had been the only option. He sang the chorus and watched the tears drip down her soft cheeks as he told her he loved her. That he didn’t want to spend another day without her knowing just how much.
The band, and his teammates after they saw the video, would razz the shit out of him, but he was doing this for her. No one would question how he felt after this. And that was what he wanted. He needed her to know that he was all in. He just hoped it wasn’t too late. That she wasn’t moving to New York. That he hadn’t missed his chance. And that her tears were ones of happiness.
He ignored the bunnies. Their fawning and cheering, followed quickly by their pouting when they spotted Amanda weaving through the tables toward the stage. She made it to the edge of the stage and stared up at him, her hands clenched around her stomach, and she smiled through her tears as he sang directly to her. His heart was out for her to take, and he didn’t want it back.
When the final notes rang through and the song ended, he yanked off the guitar and handed it to Carl, stepped off the stage, and pulled her hands into his.
“We need to talk.”
“You know how much I hate those words,” she said, her speech watery, but her smile was still in place.
“I know. And I’m sorry for everything.”
“I can’t believe you just sang that song. It was super cheesy,” she said, grinning.
“That’s what they call me. And it said exactly what I needed to say to you. I’m so sorry, and I’m tired of tip-toeing around the fact that I’m in love with you. Probably have been since you let me kiss you against your front door.”
“Pretty sure you didn’t give me much of a choice,” she interjected. “Not that I would’ve said no. I’d wanted to kiss you for a while. And I love you, too. I never expected this to happen, and I have no idea what I’m doing, but I love you, even if you want to sing cheesy songs to me, I’m still going to love you.”
His heart swelled more than he thought possible at her words. He’d ached to hear them for so long, and they had a lot to figure out, but this was the perfect start.
He chuckled, and then dipped his head, brushing a kiss across her lips. “Good to know. Now, can we sneak into Oscar’s office? I have some major groveling to do, and I’d rather it didn’t end up online.”
They both turned their heads to see more than a few camera phones pointed in their direction.
“Kiss for the cameras,” Walt shouted from the stage, and Ben turned to glare at the drummer.
“If they insist,” Amanda said softly.
He tugged her close and pressed his lips to hers. Hell. He’d missed this. He missed her. But he wouldn’t give everything to the public, so he pulled back and tugged her through the bar and down the narrow hall to Oscar’s office.
The door shut behind him, and he turned, dropping their joined hands, and clenched the back of his neck with one hand to center himself. He didn’t know where to start, so he just dove in.
“I’m sorry for assuming that everything that has gone wrong recently was your fault. And that you were working with Tara.”
“Ben. I had no idea who she was. If I could find a way to get her fired, I would.”
He couldn’t stop his look of triumph. “You haven’t been to your office today, right?”
“No,” she said, eyeing him warily.
“I think I got her fired, or at least sternly reprimanded by that dragon boss of yours.”
“What? How? You were at my office?”
“Yes, and I ran into Tara and she couldn’t wait to gloat about everything she’d done. She also told me exactly how she felt about being an assistant at the magazine, and your boss heard every word. She’d ordered Tara into her office. Tara’s a mean and spiteful woman, and you are nothing like her. You never were. My stupid pride fought me at every turn, and I cannot apologize enough for not trusting you.”
“Wow. Karma does work eventually,” she said.
“Let’s hope. So, tell me about New York. Did you take the job? Are you moving? I didn’t even know you had an interview. I mean, I knew you were looking, but…” he trailed off. They were just figuring everything out, and he was here at least eight months of the year, if not more. She couldn’t—fuck—she couldn’t move now.
“I did take the job. It’s four to five months of travel each year.”
“That’s amazing. And what you wanted, right? It’s a staff writer position?” he took her hands, linking her fingers in his.
“Yes, and they want me to move to New York.”
His heart sank. “I’m not going to let you pass this up. We can figure something out.”
She tugged him close, staring directly into his eyes. “This is the job I’ve always wanted, but I also want you—this—and I’m not ready to walk away from what we have for this job.”
“I could buy a house in New York. Spend the off-season there and you could spend time here when you aren’t travelling.”
“Whoa. Don’t buy any new properties yet. I might not have to move. I thought we were over, so I agreed without question, but they seemed flexible, so maybe I can stay here and make a few trips to New York throughout the year. My new boss was out of the office today, so I emailed her with that very question.”
He read the hope in her eyes, and he needed to give her everything she ever wanted. He brushed away her tears with the pad of his thumb. “We are going to make this work. You’re what I’ve waited for.” He chuckled, remembering her grandfather. “Tommy was right.”
“What? Oscar said something similar when I came in tonight.”
“I never told you this, but your grandfather used to give me a hard time. Told me I was too serious and that he had a granddaughter who would drive me crazy but would be exactly what I needed.”
She gasped. “No way.”
He grinned, and then leaned in to kiss her tear-stained cheeks as she started to cry again. But this time she was smiling, and he tugged her close.
She shook her head against his chest. “He tried to matchmake when I wasn’t even in the country.”
“He said you’d come home eventually. But he knew. He knew that we would work. That you were just what I needed.”
“Smartest man I’ve ever known,” she said, biting her lip, her eyes twinkling.
“I guess I did need to loosen up.”
“Maybe just a little,” she teased.
He chuckled, shaking his head. “I can’t believe I sang on stage. I’ve never done that before. But I’d do it again for you.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he pulled her up, molding his body to hers. “You are only allowed to sing for me in private.”
“That bad, huh?” he asked, brushing a kiss across her nose.
“That good. Want to get out of here?”
He chuckled. “More than anything. Should we head to your place? I’m craving pancakes.”
“No. We are going to yours. Maybe this weekend Mom can make us pancakes, but I’m not in the mood to share you with anyone tonight.”
“But she sleeps through everything.” He couldn’t stop his bark of laughter when Amanda blushed.
“Oh God, could you not? Stop teasing me. I think I’ve created a monster.”
“No, you’ve just brought me to life. I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he said, and then leaned down to kiss her.
Her hands gripped his hair, and he deepened the kiss. She might drive him crazy, and he never saw her coming, but they fit. Perfectly.
Tommy must be laughing his ass off.