Layne
AS MANDY PULLS the car into the valet parking in front of the hotel, I’m ready for a glass of wine and a long hot bath. The woman’s driving is too much to take in large doses. Standing from the car, I raise my hands over my head and stretch tall, my back aching from the two-hour drive with no stops. Pretty sure my nerves are completely shot to hell.
“All right, bitch. Let’s do this,” Mandy shouts and throws the keys to the valet driver who tries to hide his laugh with a backup cough.
Shaking my head, I follow her into the lobby to check in. I really need this weekend away with her. She might be a little nuts, but I don’t know how I would’ve made it through the last ten years without her. She is my crazy half, and sometimes I need that in my life to balance out the amount of adulting I do.
Once we’re checked in and make it our room, I watch as Mandy takes the complimentary champagne from the ice bucket and pour us both healthy-sized mimosas.
“To a kick-ass weekend. May we both get a piece of ass and a good night’s sleep.”
I toast with her without argument because it will fall on deaf ears.
“So, I have a surprise for you,” Mandy squeaks out, sounding too excited and making me nervous.
“Oh God. What did you do?”
“Well, I know you’ve had a rough couple of weeks and haven’t had much time for yourself, so I booked us a few hours at the spa this afternoon.” The smile on her face tells me how proud she is of herself, and I want to squeeze her to death because I really need this right now.
“I think I want to kiss you right now. What are we having done?”
“I figured you’d respond that way. We’re having mani/pedis, followed by a one-hour hot stone massage.”
I bounce off my bed and tackle-hug her.
“All right, all right… calm your tits. We need to finish this drink, grab another, and head down to the spa. Appointment is in thirty minutes.”
Well, that explains why she was driving like a bat out of hell. She’s forgiven.
MY BODY FEELS like Gumby right now. The masseuse was amazing and literally worked every knot out of my overstrung body. I feel like I could sleep for a week.
Considering all the wedding stuff starts super early in the morning because we’re helping with the setup, we decide to have an early dinner and hang out in the room tonight. The reception is definitely going to last well into the night, and we’ll have to get up and head home fairly early Sunday morning, so tonight is our night to sleep. Getting cozied up in bed, Mandy rolls over on her side so she’s facing my bed.
“So, tell me what you know about this Malcolm character. Have you heard from him yet?”
“I don’t know much about him,” I tell her with a shrug. “We haven’t really had a chance to chat. We danced and he asked me out. I guess I’ll find out all of the rest when we see each other in a few days.” I tell her he’s already texted me to tell me to have a good time at the wedding and he’d like to take me to dinner on Tuesday evening since I don’t have to work.
Her face lights up before she even responds. “He texted already?”
“Yep. Dinner on Tuesday. Speaking of which, can you come sit with Gracie for a couple hours?”
“Absolutely. You two seemed to have plenty of chemistry happening on the dance floor the other night, so I’m sure the date will be amazing too.”
I’m not sure what kind of chemistry we had going on, because the other night I’d had a few drinks and I can’t base my feelings about his character on a few hot, sweaty, tipsy dances together. Obviously it’s going to take more than that.
“Having physical chemistry is one thing but having a connection with someone outside of that is more along the lines of what I’m looking for. You know me better than that.”
“I know, but he seems like a pretty nice guy.”
I laugh and shake my head. “You and he have exchanged zero words, and you’re already of the ‘seems like a nice guy’ opinion?”
She bursts out laughing. “All right, so he’s hot, and I hope he’s like crazy super sweet and perfect for you because I don’t want you to be alone anymore.”
“I’m not alone. I have you and Gracie, but I know what you mean, and I’m pretty tired of being alone too,” I tell her, moving my eyes away from her face because I don’t want to see the pity in them.
“Wait, did you just admit you’re tired of not having a man?” she basically shouts.
“That is not what I said, but yes.”
Mandy springs from the bed and starts jumping up and down. “It’s about fucking time!” she shouts.
“All right, enough girl bonding shit. I’m tired and we both know tomorrow is going to be a twenty-hour day. We basically need to get enough sleep tonight, for the rest of the weekend.”
After a few more minutes of her being a dork about me wanting to start dating, we turn to our Kindles to read for a bit before turning in.
THE NEXT MORNING is a whirlwind of drama. Lost jewelry, a severely hungover bridesmaid, and a cake that did not turn out the way the extremely high-maintenance bride wanted. When the wedding starts midafternoon, I’m super thankful for the massages we got yesterday because my stress level is through the roof.
By the time the bride actually walks down the aisle, I’m ready to throttle half the bridal party for being childish assholes. I’d put my phone on silent right before the wedding procession started, and as we exit the church, heading for the reception, my heart drops into my stomach when I see I’ve missed three calls and several texts from Garrett.
Gracie!
I stop walking abruptly, causing Mandy to crash into my back.
“What the shit, Layne?”
I don’t respond, my hands shaking as I hit the messages icon.
Garrett: Call me immediately!
Garrett: Layne! It’s an emergency!
Garrett: LAYNE!
I’m shaking so bad I can barely keep my hands steady enough to hit the Call button.
Something is wrong with my baby.
Mandy must see the pain on my face because she pulls me to the side so people aren’t running us over.
Garrett answers on the first ring, but I don’t even give him the opportunity to say anything.
“What’s wrong with our baby?” I choke out.
“We’re arriving at St. Luke’s Medical Center right now, Layne. I’m passing the phone off to Chrissy so she can fill you in,” he rushes out.
I take a deep breath and start toward Mandy’s car, her hot on my heels.
“We just got to the hospital,” Chrissy’s shaky voice comes through the phone.
“Tell me what happened,” I choke out.
“She insisted on playing first base this game, but the coach didn’t want her to because she hasn’t practiced that position this season and this was against a really tough team, but then Jake got sick and they needed a first baseman and she wanted it, and he put her there and a kid that is too damn big to be playing in this age group got up to hit, and one of her friends in the bleachers yelled her name and she looked away just for a second and the ball came hard and fast, a line drive right at her, hitting her in the side of the head, and it knocked her out, Layne, and someone called the ambulance, and we just got here and they’re taking her in to assess her.” She never once stops to take a breath, and I can hear how scared she is.
I don’t even realize I’m running until I hear Mandy yelling for me to slow down and I stop and turn to her.
“Gracie is hurt, Mandy,” I tell her quickly. “I need your keys.”
“Oh hell no. I’ll drive. You can’t drive this way.”
I can’t argue with that because she’s totally right. I’m shaking so bad I can barely hold onto the phone pressed against my ear. Chrissy hasn’t said anything else, but I can hear her shuffling around and people talking.
“Chrissy, you have to stay on the phone with me and tell me what’s going on. We are in the car and are heading back now,” I cry into the phone.
“Okay. They unloaded her from the ambulance and a doctor is with her,” she sobs. “She’s still unconscious, Layne. Oh my God.”
With a death grip on the phone, I press it to my ear so hard I’m sure it will leave a mark. I can hear doctors and nurses talking in the background. I hear orders for a CT scan and more sobbing from Chrissy.
Seconds after I hear the doctor spouting off orders, Garrett takes the phone from Chrissy.
“Layne?” he barks into the phone.
“Yeah, I’m here. I’m on my way, Garrett. What did the doctor say?”
He takes a deep breath. “I shouldn’t have let him put her at first base. This is all my fault,” he chokes out.
“Garrett!” I holler into the phone. “Focus. I need you to tell me what is going on. I’m freaking out!”
He takes a deep, shaky breath before he responds. “The doctor ordered a CT scan to see what is going on in her head. He’ll be able to tell if she has any fractures or swelling or fluid on her brain. She’s been unconscious for almost twenty minutes.”
My stomach plummets. This is my baby. She’s hurt and I can’t get to her, and I seriously feel like my heart is going to jump out my chest. I can’t breathe.
I keep the phone pressed to my ear, and Garrett never hangs up. We don’t speak to each other, but I listen as he comforts his fiancée, a woman who so obviously loves my child, and I let the silent tears fall from my eyes. I would give anything right now to have someone to lean on, someone to wrap their arms around me and take some of the pressure I feel in my chest away. It’s not lost on me the first person to spring to my mind is Bryant. Feeling Mandy’s fingers lace through mine and squeeze brings me out of my head.
“She’s gonna be okay, Layne.” I don’t look at her because I know I’ll lose it and it’s taking every ounce of my strength not to fall apart. I nod, continuing to stare out the side window.
I hear a muffled voice talking in the back ground and I turn the volume up. When I hear Garrett whisper, “Oh thank God,” my heart flutters a little.
“Garrett, tell me what’s happening,” I tell him quietly. I don’t want to interrupt, but I need to know what’s going on.
“She’s awake,” he whispers. “Hang on.”
I listen as someone I assume is the doctor tells Garrett she woke up during the CT scan, is coherent and scared but could answer simple questions. All good signs. I don’t even try to stop the sob as it tears from my throat. My baby is awake.
I feel the car start to slow and look to Mandy, who also has tears rolling down her face.
I can tell she thinks I’m getting bad news because she’s pulling over.
“Don’t stop, Mandy!” I say too loudly, causing both of us to flinch. She jerks the car back onto the road and speeds up.
“Tell me what’s going on!” she shouts at me, her eyes frantic.
“She’s awake,” I choke out.
I watch as the crazy leaves her eyes and she too sobs loudly. “Thank you, God,” she whispers over and over, making my tears fall even faster.
“Layne,” Garrett whispers into the phone. “She’s going to be okay. I know it.”
I can hear Chrissy whispering to him and can picture her in his arms. What I wouldn’t give to have big, strong arms wrapped around me right now. Not just any arms either. Bryant’s arms.
“They’ve put her in a room, so we’re gonna go up and see her. I will text you her room number and any updates.”
“Okay. See you soon.” I press End on my phone and immediately want to call him back and demand he stay on the phone with me. Mandy is driving like a bat out of hell, so we’re only about thirty minutes from the hospital now.
Mandy finally lets go of my hand, and I feel the blood rush back into it. She must’ve been squeezing the hell out of it.
“She’s gonna be okay, Mandy. She has to be,” I choke out. “She’s gonna be okay.”
The rest of the drive we are both silent. Knowing she’s awake and coherent enough to talk has put me a little at ease.
THE MOMENT THE hospital doors slide open, I break out into a full run to the elevators. Just shy of the doors that will take me to my baby, my right ankle rolls and my butt collides with the floor. A horrible pain rips through my ankle and calf, making me instantly nauseous. Mandy grabs my arm and starts to try to pull me up, but I pull away from her and shake my head.
Fucking hell.
“Holy shit, are you okay?” Mandy squeaks out.
“I twisted my ankle,” I growl. I’m so mad right now I could scream.
Why is this happening to me? To us? I take my heels off and chuck them at the wall near the trash can.
An orderly scrambles over helps me up.
“We need to get you to the ER and get your foot looked at,” he says cheerfully.
“No way. My daughter is on the fourth floor, and I need to get to her. I’m fine.”
He starts to argue, but I get up and limp to the elevators, Mandy rushing after me.
“Nope, I gotta get to my daughter.”
He steps aside and lets Mandy and me pass. The elevator seems to take forever, and by the time it reaches the fourth floor, I’m almost in tears again. This is the worst day ever; well, since the day my dad died, and that thought does make the tears start again.
As soon as the door to her room opens, the pain in my chest eases. Garrett is lying in the bed with her cuddled up to him, her head on his chest, sleeping. I don’t stop the tears from falling. We may not be together, but I will always love Garrett for loving our daughter so much. When he looks up and sees me limping beside Mandy, his eyes widen before he slowly sets Gracie to the side.
“What happened, Layne? Are you okay?” he rushes to my side.
“I’m fine. Apparently, I can’t run in heels on laminate floors. Weird, I know,” I force a chuckle, trying to lighten the mood.
“Hell, I’m impressed you were wearing heels much less trying to run in them,” he says with humor.
Garrett leans down and hugs me tightly, whispering “she’s gonna be okay” over and over again. I close my eyes and let him hug me because I need this more than anything right now.
When my eyes meet Chrissy’s, she tries to hide the jealousy on her face and covers it quickly with a sad smile directed at me. I pull back from Garrett and hold my hand out to her so she will come to me. She looks confused for a moment but walks to me and places her hand into mine. I pull her forward and wrap my arms around her neck, and we both cry softly into each other.
“Thank you, Chrissy. Thank you for loving her so fucking much. Knowing you and Garrett would do everything in your power to make sure she’s cared for was the only thing that kept me from going crazy on the drive here,” I choke out in a whisper. “Thank you for loving her.”
Chrissy’s sobs fill the room, and within seconds, Garrett has us both wrapped in his arms, his head lying on top of Chrissy’s.
“Why is everybody crying?” asks the sweetest voice I’ve ever heard.
Her question causes us all to laugh through our tears, and I limp over to her side.
“Hi, baby girl.” I chuckle as I reach down and hug her to me. She grunts and taps my shoulder.
“Mama, you’re squeezin’ me to death,” she groans out, putting her hand on her head. “My head hurts really bad.”
She lies back down, and I start to sit down beside her but stop when her body goes rigid and starts to shake.
“Garrett,” I scream, as I frantically press the nurse button. Chrissy flies into motion, throwing the door to the room open and screaming for a doctor down the hall.
Everything happens so fast, but I feel like I’m in slow motion. The doctor rushes in, shouting orders at the nurse I can’t even comprehend.
When her tiny body stops seizing, I rush to her side only to be grabbed by Garrett and pulled out of the way, allowing the nurses and doctors to continue to assess her.
“What is happening?” I screech a little louder than I mean to.
The doctor tells the nurse to administer a medication I’ve never heard of before he turns to us.
“Grace had a seizure caused by the mild TBI, or traumatic brain injury, she suffered from the hit. We got the CT scan results a few minutes ago. She has a pretty significant concussion.”
He pats my hand that is resting on the bed. “She’s going to be okay. She’s a tough little girl. We need to make her as comfortable as possible so she can relax and heal.”
Nodding, my eyes fly around the room when I realize I haven’t seen or heard a peep out of Mandy since the moment we came through the door. I can see her through the window, pacing the hallway.
The doctor continues to tell us what to expect and what Gracie is going through right now. As he’s about to leave the room, he tells us they’ve given her something to help her sleep. Rest is the best thing for her body to heal right now.
Mandy comes back in long enough to get the update before she surprises everyone by hugging me and then Garrett and Chrissy, and leaving quickly to go pack me a bag and check on Odie.
Knowing I’ll be in the hospital with Gracie for a couple days, I step into the hallway and call the bar to let Candi know I’ll be out for a while and ask her to schedule in some extra help for the next week at least. My bar may be small, but my employees are loyal and have become more like family. I have no doubt they will have my back.
Stepping back into the room, I overhear the last bit of their conversation.
“…it’s not good for the baby for you to be this upset.”
I freeze. The moment their eyes swing to mine, they realize I heard what he said, and I see his hand is strategically placed on her flat belly.
“Layne, we were going to tell you when you got back from the wedding this weekend,” Garrett rushes out, stepping closer to me and then quickly stopping when Chrissy reaches out and grabs his shoulder.
I look at them for a moment and realize they are both looking at me like I’m going to explode, which confuses me. Why would I be upset?
“That’s wonderful news,” I tell them honestly. “How far along are you?”
They both slowly sit down, stunned silent for too long, and I clear my throat to break them out of their stares.
“You’re not upset?” Garrett asks.
“Why would I be upset? You’re a great father, and Gracie will love being a big sister,” I reply with a huge smile. Babies are always a blessing, whether they are planned or not.
Chrissy smiles big before responding, “I’m eight weeks tomorrow.”
I limp over to her and hug her gently. “Congratulations, Chrissy. You’re going to be a great mom.”
She hugs me to her tightly and then clears her throat before pulling away.
“I’m gonna go get a water. Do y’all want anything?” she asks, not meeting Garrett’s eyes.
“I’ll take a water too,” I reply, watching Garrett’s face.
She smiles, leaving the room before Garrett turns his attention to me.
“All right, spill it. What is going on? Why would I be mad, Garrett?”
“This conversation is going to be really embarrassing, so I feel like I should apologize in advance,” he says with a smirk. “You’ve always known I’m sort of an ass, so this won’t come as a shock to you.”
Now I’m intrigued.
“What did you do?”
“Well, a few months ago, you and I were having a conversation I felt turned into something else. It sort of became flirty. I felt so guilty about it and I told Chrissy.”
My brain is on overload trying to figure out what conversation he is talking about. I can’t remember the last time I flirted with him, and it sure as hell wasn’t within the past few years.
“What are you talking about?”
He rolls his eyes and throws his head back, staring up at the ceiling.
“Look, you’re a beautiful woman. You always have been, and that night we were discussing Gracie’s new teacher, I’d had a few drinks and crossed the line. I said some things I shouldn’t have and you laughed and blew it off,” he says quickly.
I remember the conversation. He’d tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and told me he’d always thought I was beautiful when I laughed. The moment had made me uncomfortable and I’d laughed and then cut the conversation short. I’d forgotten about it until this moment.
“I remember.”
“Well, when I woke up the next morning, I felt like a total dick, and I couldn’t get it off my mind. So, I told Chrissy. At first she was furious and asked me if I was still in love with you and if I wanted us to get back together. That’s why you didn’t see her for a while. We sort of had it out.”
The fact he said “still in love” with me throws me for a loop because Garrett and I had never told each other we loved each other. Had he been in love with me?
“Anyway, she was mad at me for a little while until I told her I would always have feelings for you because you are Gracie’s mother, but I’m not in love with you.”
“You guys are okay though, right? I mean, everything is back to normal now?”
“Yes. Your reaction to Chrissy’s pregnancy was exactly what she needed to let it go I think. So, I guess I can thank you for that.”
“I’m confused. Explain please.”
“She’s had a hard time believing you’re not in love with me.” He chuckles. “She has always said that. She has told me a hundred times she can’t believe you’d let me walk away so easily.”
I stare at him for a moment and can feel myself getting angry.
“Well, is she aware I didn’t ‘let you’ do anything?” I bite out. “Why would I chase you? You made it completely clear I was not what you wanted.”
His face changes instantly, and I regret the words I spewed.
He starts to retort, but I hold my hand up. “Nope. We’re not doing this.”
I can see the tick in his jaw as he clenches and unclenches it several times.
“I’m happy for you, Garrett. You deserve to be happy, and so does Chrissy.” I walk back over to Gracie’s bed and sit down, pulling her hand into mine.
“I’m going to go find Chrissy,” he whisper-shouts, and I nod in response, not meeting his eyes.
I really am happy for them. The only thing that seems to cause a tiny bit of my heart to clench is that Chrissy will get the “happy to be having a baby Garrett” and all the attention she deserves while she’s pregnant, while I got the “call me when you have an appointment or go into labor Garrett” who I wanted to shank. Am I bitter about it? Maybe a little.
Maybe someday I’ll have that.
Someday.
I deserve that kind of happiness.
Someday, someone will come along who will be that person for me.