T he first night had been miserable for April and Meagan. The little girl had two nightmares and ended up sleeping in Meagan’s arms. Even then, the pair had only managed a few hours of rest. When Cameron called the following morning, she spared him the horror story. He had to concentrate on the game he was being paid to play.

With him gone, the house felt empty even though he called constantly which was nice and annoying. The flirting was even more over the top on the phone and she was counting down the hours until she’d see him again. Their day unfolded as any other. April behaved like a typical three-and-a-half-year-old. A little cranky, but otherwise unscathed by the lack of sleep. Meagan’s curiosity grew about the dreams and whether April remembered them. She hadn’t asked, but if things continued, she’d have to find out.

The west coast game was televised past April’s bedtime, but Meagan watched Cameron and his team skate their hearts out. The defense had their hands full, and Martin Thomas let in two goals in the first period. Trailing behind for most of the game, their frustration got the better of them. They played like a different team. At the top of the third, they were down; four to two. They switched the goalies and Benjamin Wilder covered the net. In the first thirty seconds a shot landed in the upper corner, widening the gap. The team didn’t need the win to secure their playoff seat, but every game and every point counted. They lost, unable to turn things around. An hour later, Cameron sent a text saying he’d call in the morning and wished her sweet dreams.

That never happened.

Their nights got progressively worse without Cameron. When April woke up screaming, nothing Meagan tried helped to console her. Her tiny body shook with fear and the tears poured non-stop. She debated waking Cameron, but there was nothing he could do from hundreds of miles away. Something bad had happened to this perfect little angel. Each sob sliced into Megan’s heart.

As the sunshine streamed into April’s room, Meagan opened her eyes and stretched. Her arm was asleep, and she removed it carefully so as not to rouse the sleeping child. Her phone sat on the kitchen table. She wavered on the best course of action. She went back and forth for over an hour, trying to decide. They both needed a good night’s sleep. Her fingers danced over the keys and she pressed down.

“Hey.” Cameron answered after the fourth ring. “What time is it?” His voice was laced with sleep, making her regret her decision.

“Seven-ish. I stopped looking at the clock after April’s third nightmare. We had a rough night.”

“Shit. Is she okay? How are you holding up?”

She heard the ruffling of sheets as she played with the handle on the cup of coffee in front of her. “We’re sleep-deprived but otherwise fine. What’s going on? I can’t help if I don’t know all the facts.” She waited a moment, but he said nothing. “Cameron, she’s scared of being alone. What caused her separation anxiety?”

Silence filled the line, and Meagan thought he’d hung up. “Hello? I imagine it’s not a beautiful story, but I care about her, and I want to help. I swear I’m not trying to be nosy. Everything you tell me is strictly confidential.”

“This isn’t a conversation I want to have over the phone. I’m in Detroit for the game tonight. Do you have a passport? If I send you guys tickets, would you mind flying down and spending the night?”

Her passport hadn’t been stamped in a while, but it was still valid. “We could do that. You’ll have to send extra paperwork so I can fly with April.”

“I’ve got all those documents from when my mother flew with her. You should find most of what you need in the filing cabinet downstairs. The rest I’ll send to the airline. I realize this is a lot to ask of you and I appreciate it. She needs me and I’ll play better knowing she’s all right. I’ll check with the airlines and give you the details in a few minutes. Damn it! I knew I should have brought her with me.”

“No, you did the right thing,” she said, wrapping her hands around the cup for warmth. The harsh tone in his voice gave her chills, and not the sexy kind she was used to. “Don’t second guess yourself. I’m the one who failed her and I’m sorry.”

He huffed. “It’s not you, that’s for sure. It’s her mother. She’s the one… I’ll call you back with the flight info.” Cameron hung up.

A million questions popped into her head. She sat there reeling. What did the nightmares have to do with Nicole? Did April miss her mom so badly she’d scream out for her?

The next few hours were torture as she waited to learn the answers. Cameron had refused to say much over the next five phone calls. He’d emailed her the flight itinerary, and she rushed to get them out of the door within the hour to catch their plane.

They arrived before game time, but Cameron sent a car to pick them up. He couldn’t get away and meet them at the airport. When they entered the lobby to the swanky hotel, Meagan recognized a friendly face.

Sylvie Lamont greeted them with a bright smile and air kisses on each cheek. “Salut, you two. How was the flight?” Her French accent was very pronounced.

It reminded Meagan of the years her family had lived on the east coast. She’d taken the language in school but failed to catch on. April gave her hand a squeeze and Meagan adjusted the straps on her backpack.

“Great,” she said. The first-class tickets had been comfortable and customs had gone better than she expected. “This little munchkin slept for most of it. I may have caught some shuteye as well,” she yawned. “Are the guys in their rooms?”

“You just missed them. Cam asked me to wait around and bring you to the arena in case you decide to come to the game. I’ve got your room keys. Here.” She handed her two keycards and Meagan shoved them in the back pocket of her jeans. “Let’s go put your bags down and then we’ll grab food.”

“Thanks. Are you feeling any better or still nauseous?”

They chatted about her newest pregnancy aliment, but Sylvie said it was all worth it. By the time they parted ways after dinner, she knew everything about Sylvie and Martin. How they grew up down the street from each other, became best friends and eventually fell in love. Their story was so romantic. Meagan had a twinge of envy because she wanted that kind of happiness. She wanted to feel secure in her relationship the way Sylvie did. That wasn’t likely to happen if she kept sneaking around with Cameron.

Due to the late hour of the game, they stayed at the hotel and watched it on the television. April fell asleep before the second period. Which was for the best considering the amount of time her dad spent in the penalty box. A few of the calls were iffy, but he played like he had a chip on his shoulder. Cameron wasn’t usually a scrapper on the ice, but he threw his gloves down more than once.

After the game, Meagan stared at the clock, waiting for him to arrive. When he did, he took her breath away. He’d trimmed his short hair one level above a buzz cut and hadn’t shaved his face. The scruff, made her thighs tingle. He smiled at her, but his face lit up when he saw his daughter.

Cameron closed the door slowly, preventing the inevitable slam. “Thank you for coming.” He crawled onto the bed with April and ran his fingers against her cheek. “I love you, April,” he whispered and kissed her forehead.

Meagan sat on the chair in the corner and watched the tender moment between a father and his daughter. It was beautiful. “Good game,” she whispered, when he sat up and faced her.

“Another close one. That second high sticking penalty was bullshit. The calls heavily favored the other team. We couldn’t catch a break.”

“Despite the obstacles you still won.” She knotted her fingers. “Speaking of obstacles, are you ready to tell me what happened to April?” She leaned forward in her chair. Their hushed voices made it difficult for them to communicate, and she didn’t want to miss a thing.

“No, but I don’t have much of a choice. Let’s go into the adjoining room and talk. We can prop the door open in case she wakes up.”

Meagan stood and Cameron held out his hand. She took it and followed him into the next room. They sat on the king-sized bed facing each other. The beige comforter was identical to the one in the other room. The rooms were a mirror image of one another, including the relic car paintings on the walls. She looked around the room, waiting for him to start.

“Do you want the long or short version?”

“Whatever you’re willing to share.” She crossed her legs under her and placed her hand on his knee.

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze before letting out a large breath. “Nicole and I were seventeen when April was born. The end of our senior year. We were wild and crazy kids. Anyway, after I got drafted to Winnipeg, I moved her and her family to be with me and to help with the baby. The transition didn’t go well. I was busy, though I knew something was off, but we were new parents and I made a lot of mistakes.”

He scratched the top of his head and stared at the ceiling. “Fuck that’s an understatement. I did everything wrong. Nicole was a party girl, and she got wrapped up with some bad people. She’d used drugs in high school, but she was clean during the pregnancy. I thought she’d turned a corner. That was wishful thinking. She spiraled and got into the heavy shit. She abandoned April to get her fix more than once. Who knows how long my baby’s cries went unanswered?”

“Oh my God!” Meagan covered her mouth with her hand.

“I didn’t know until much later.” He squeezed her hand again and scooted closer. “I trusted her, but after a while I couldn’t trust her with money. She ran through it at warp speed and had a lie for everything. But we loved each other and… it turned out she loved the drugs more. So much so she left our baby in the car, in the middle of winter, while she sold drugs to an undercover agent. April was a block of ice by the time the cops found her.”

Meagan rubbed his back as if he was freezing. Her body was chilled after hearing what happened. “Poor April.”

“Yeah. I fucking failed to protect my child, and I let my girlfriend get mixed up with a gang and hooked on drugs.” Cameron buried his face in his hands. “I’m a piece of shit.”

“You didn’t know. How could you have known she’d go that far?”

“See, that’s the thing. I should have known what was going on in my family. The worst part was I couldn’t come swooping in and save the day. I was playing stateside when shit went down. That’s why April hates princesses and knights. She already knows fairytale stuff is all bullshit.”

Meagan wrapped one arm around him, pulling his head towards her shoulder so he’d lean on her.

“April was a baby when it happened, but that’s the cause of the nightmares. Her mother fucked her over real good. And her father wasn’t any better. Leaving her every other night to pursue his own dreams. You know I considered giving it all up. Hanging up the skates, but my mom refused to let that happen. She’s my rock. I’m a mess without her.”

“Your parents sound great and I’m glad they didn’t let you give up your career,” she said, kissing the top of his head. “Thank you for telling me. Did you ever consider putting April in counseling or anything to help her overcome the trauma?”

“She saw a lady for a year, but nothing changed. The off season is different. She needs her dad and stability. I’m in the wrong line of work to give her what she needs.” His shoulders caved inwards.

“Don’t say that. She needs love and you give her that in spades. Aside from the bad dreams, your daughter is remarkable. She’s cute, funny and smart, like her dad. You’re doing a good job.”

“Parenting is hard. Way tougher than hockey,” he admitted, sitting up straight. His eyes searched hers and she laughed.

“I wouldn’t know, but I think you’re pretty amazing at both. Give yourself a little credit.”

“You don’t consider me a deadbeat dad like other people do? I told you my life’s complicated. Is it too much? Does this change anything between us?” His fingers caressed under her ear as he smoothed his thumb over her lower lip.

April’s ordeal was far worse than she had imagined, but it didn’t change her feelings for Cameron. His honesty may have been the match, lighting a flame to her resistance. Any part of her that thought she could stay away burned to ashes.

“Us,” she repeated his word, loving the way it sounded coming from his mouth. Meagan shook her head from side to side. Her nerves tripled as she stared into his eyes and her breathing became more labored. “I’d like there to be an us. Everything you’ve shared with me isn’t scaring me away. Your complications aren’t that bad. I love your little girl and I’ll help her as best I can. I will keep rambling though, so if you want me to stop you better kiss me.”

Cameron chuckled and pressed his lips against hers. They kissed for the next hour before Cameron left to sleep with his daughter. They didn’t have sex. As much fun as that would have been, it was better that way. Their touches and kisses were more intimate. They shared something deeper, more meaningful and Meagan knew she was in way over her head.