Backstage with the guys after the show, and I’d never been more ready for a break in my life. We got a few days off for Thanksgiving before heading back on the road until Christmas. After that, no tours planned, and I was keeping it that way. We’d do a few festivals next summer but we needed a fucking break. I was all about working hard, riding the momentum as we built up our audience, but shit, I was finally getting to understand that burn-out could happen even doing what you loved. I wanted to be home with my girls, all three of them. Tinker around at a casual pace with new songs. Just take a fucking breather.

I also wanted to be closer to Kick. She was drifting away from me, and it was killing me. When we’d started out after StageFest, I was around most of the time. Kick seemed to be getting comfortable with our relationship. It seemed cool the first couple weeks I was on tour, but after the L.A. show is when I felt her really pulling away. It could have been for one of a million reasons. Swim season and school were back in full swing, and she was busy and focused on that. But it also happened to be shortly after I told her I loved her, so that fucking hurt. She didn’t have to feel it back, but she needed to know as I went on tour and we had to do long-distance, that I was all in.

Phone calls were getting shorter, text messages less frequent, and it had been over a month since I’d seen her. The last time was L.A., and I thought we’d left things okay, but I was getting anxious as hell. I needed to see her, touch her, look at her. I couldn’t fucking wait to get back home tomorrow.

“You still with Kick?” Nolan asked, sitting on the couch next to me and kicking out his feet on the coffee table. He handed me a beer.

“What do you mean? Hell yeah I’m still with her, man. Don’t think I forgot you hitting on her back at StageFest.” I kept it light, but let him know I wasn’t going to tolerate him looking at her like he had.

Nolan had been fine, didn’t get fucked up and didn’t create drama. I didn’t necessarily bond with the guy but he wasn’t a problem. He took full advantage of the women who bombarded us after the show, and I was a little surprised he wasn’t off with them now. I was happy enough for the guys to hook up and leave me be after shows. It probably kept the groupies happy, since I certainly wasn’t doing my part.

“You guys really exclusive? I know you’re not messing around, but you sure about her?”

I stiffened at his question. “What the fuck, man? What are you trying to say?”

“Chill, dude, just having your back. Kick’s a man-eater and she’s after musicians. You’re the real deal now. Keep your eyes open.”

I sat up on the edge of the couch and put the beer down on the side table, turning to look directly at Nolan. “Don’t fuck with me, Nolan. You got something to say, just say it.”

“Look man,” he started, “you’re a good guy. You deserve a sweet wholesome chick. Kick’s not that.”

My arm twitched with the urge to throw a fist in Nolan’s smug face. He threw his hands up. “Hey. Kick and I have a history, all right? I wasn’t gonna say shit but I see you sitting back here after every show, pining. There are hundreds of sweet asses out there begging to meet you, who would get you off and show you a good time in a second.”

Ignoring the rest of the trash spewing from his mouth, I focused on the words that made my heart stop. “You have a history with my girlfriend?” I gritted the words out.

“It wasn’t serious. I played at the Happy Hollow by the Cal U campus about a year ago. I was out smoking in the alley afterward and she came by, all alone. Was looking for a good time, we hung out, hooked up. That was it.”

I wanted to throw that punch now more than ever but I couldn’t. Because the dude could be telling me my own story. About a year ago, in the alley of the Happy Hollow, Kick and I met the exact same way.

I didn’t say a thing, not trusting myself to talk. Standing on stiff legs, I made my way out of the backstage area, walking numbly through the throngs of “sweet asses” lingering around the hallway. I didn’t even know how these girls got back here, but I was like stone as hands brushed up against my arms and stomach, words were cooed my way. I went straight to the tour bus and headed to the back. I got to share this bus with a guy who hooked up with my girlfriend. Sleep right next to him. Awesome.

How many others were there? I knew she was a good-time girl when I met her, and I couldn’t change her past. I couldn’t even be mad at her for that, even though it felt like I’d been stabbed in the gut. It was before we started dating. Despite Nolan meaning to imply she was a cheater, I didn’t buy it. I knew my Fireball, and she wouldn’t do that. But she was pulling away. Why?