She could barely breathe, Diggs’ hot blood soaked her shirt as she tried to lift him, but she couldn’t manage to inch her way from beneath his heavy weight. She made the mistake of glancing over at Trigger once, only to turn away from the gruesome sight. The colonel’s death didn’t bother her, but she’d never seen a dead body before. Not like this.

And if she didn’t get Diggs some help, the colonel wouldn’t be the only one dying tonight.

“Diggs, Diggs wake up,” she said desperately, but his head lolled next to her shoulder. The only thing that gave her hope was his soft breaths puffing against her neck. “Please don’t let go. I love you.”

“He’s moving!” Hicks’ yelled from somewhere to her right, but she couldn’t be sure where.

“The window?” That was definitely Reaper responding.

Another barrage of bullets sounded; glass shattered; metal screeched. Audra screamed.

“Shit! He’s out.”

And then Hicks was crouching over them, rolling Diggs off of her. “Audra, are you hit?”

“No, just Diggs. You have to help him now.”

Without the warmth of Diggs on top of her, she suddenly felt very, very cold. Hicks yanked her to her feet and knelt at Diggs’ side. “He’s got a gut wound. We need to get him back to the doc ASAP.”

She heard Reaper curse and glanced up to see him staring determinedly at the broken window up ahead. “King is down too. We can’t go after him.” Reaper sprinted in their direction and dropped at Diggs’ side, assessing his injuries. And he pressed a button on the black loop around his neck and spoke, “Doc, we’re coming in hot. You’ll need two rooms.”

More blood had seeped from Diggs’ stomach, his entire shirt was covered in blood.

“Help him,” she pleaded. Please, don’t let him die. She didn’t want to live without him. Not when they finally had a chance together. She hadn’t wanted to live after Jeremy’s death, not until Diggs had given her a reason to keep on going.

Trigger limped to her side and nudged her hand with his head, leaning into her when she lifted her arm. “Good boy. Good boy.” She stroked her fingers through his fur, thankful, staring at Diggs. Trigger dropped his head into her lap and whined. They’d both gotten their revenge for Jeremy’s death, but had it been worth the sacrifice?

* * *

Diggs fought his way through the murky haze and into the light, his head screaming and his mouth dry; his body burned like someone held a torch to his gut. He managed to crack his lids open, only to slam them shut again at the blinding glow of light. He tried to shift, but something warm and heavy pinned his arm. Careful to avert his gaze aside, Diggs pried his eyes open one more time, this time seeing Audra’s sleeping form draped on the edge of his mattress, stretched out next to him. “Audra?”

Her eyes flew open, and he watched as the confusion gave way to excitement. “You’re awake!”

His throat felt as dry as damp sandpaper. “Water.”

Audra got off the mattress and grabbed a bottle from the nightstand, tilting it carefully to his lips and allowing some precious drops onto his dry tongue. When he’d got enough, he nodded.

“I need to let Melissa know you’re awake,” she made to step away from him, and he blindly reached out for her arm, grimacing in pain at the movement. “Don’t leave.”

Diggs got a sense of movement on the bed and glanced down to see Trigger at the end, watching his every move. That dog had attacked with the ferocity of a deadly assassin. Diggs tensed. “Audra – “

“It’s okay. He won’t leave your side. I think he’s watching out for you,” she said.

“Me? He doesn’t like me.”

Audra sighed and eased onto the mattress at his side. “Trigger, come on boy.” She patted the bed on Diggs opposite side. Trigger belly crawled to Diggs, laid his head right next to him and nudged his free hand.

Shocked, Diggs lifted his hand to pet Triggers head. “Good boy.”

Audra smiled. “I think he’s accepted you.”

“I’m honored,” Diggs said.

“How do you feel?”

“Like I’ve been shot,” he tried to laugh, but all he managed was a week cough.

“Don’t waste your energy.”

“How many hours have I been asleep?”

“You’ve been out for four days. You almost died. If it hadn’t been for Melissa, you would have.” Her voice broke. She reached up and swiped a palm at the corner of her eye. “You’d been shot in the gut, it punctured your intestines.”

“Dawson.” So, he hadn’t been dreaming. Dawson had been there. “Did we get him?”

“No, I’ve heard your team talk about him a couple of times. He escaped, but Juarez thinks he was injured.”

Diggs heard something in her voice, hesitation, like she wasn’t telling him everything. “What else?” She was hiding something.

Audra leaned over him, the satiny pads of her fingers skimming down his cheek. “They got away with the gold. When you were injured, we had to rush back to the compound.”

“What about King?” Diggs rasped out, his throat tight. Audra’s gaze bounced from his and dread settled heavy in his gut, right alongside the burning. “Audra, tell me.”

“King is alive.”

“But?”

“But he hasn’t woken up yet and he was shot in the eye. Melissa doesn’t believe he’ll be able to see out of it anymore.”

Hot, burning, razor-sharp guilt sliced down his sternum and Diggs slammed his eyes shut against the agony. His fault. He could’ve warned King. He should’ve seen Dawson coming. He should have done something besides lie there like a helpless nothing.

He’d failed everyone, even Audra.

“Hey, at least he will live. That’s the most important thing, right?” Audra’s hand squeezed his but he pulled away. He didn’t deserve her. He didn’t deserve to be on the team. His entire existence had done nothing but harm, not help. All his life he’d just wanted to be the hero.

But the battle with Dawson had shown him exactly how unrealistic a goal that was. He’d never be anyone’s hero.

“Diggs?”

“I’m tired, Audra.” How could she stand to look at him?

“I’ll get Melissa.” He felt her lean over him to kiss his cheek, but he balked.

“Take the dog.” He didn’t need the reminder of the real heroes. And Trigger was exactly that.

“Are you in pain? Tell me what’s wrong.” He heard the confusion in her voice, but refused to look at her. He couldn’t. He was too weak. If he did, he might cave and beg her to stay and that was the last thing she deserved. She deserved someone who could take care of her. Someone who could defend her.

“I’m fine,” he said in a harsh tone. “Just go. Let me rest.”

She brushed his hair and he cringed away, her soft touch like sharp nails on his destroyed ego. The mattress shifted and he heard her soft footsteps headed toward the door. He kept his eyes shut and forced his breathing to remain even, as if he were falling asleep, too cowardly to face her.

“Trigger, come on,” she said softly.

The dog didn’t budge. Diggs would have to move and prove he was wide awake if he tried to shoo the dog. He let his hand fall from his head to the mattress.

“Trigger, come on boy.” Audra’s voice cracked and his chest hitched. Coward. Slime. You failed her. At least be man enough to let her go.

If only the damn dog would leave.

Trigger didn’t budge.

He heard her breath hitch and knew he was hurting her. Dammit just go. He wasn’t strong enough to hold out much longer.

The door creaked open. Diggs could feel her staring at him. He kept his eyes shut. He could smell her indecision. God, he wanted to beg her to come back. Take her in his arms and never let go.

But what about the next time? The general wouldn’t stop hunting them and neither would Dawson. Her life would be in danger as long as she was with him. If he’d failed to protect her once, he’d fail again.

No. He wouldn’t allow it. Audra had to leave. He could live the rest of his life knowing he’d done the right thing. She’d find someone else. A real man. A man who could keep her safe.

Diggs curled his fingers into a fist. How long was she going to stand there? His resolve wavered. He didn’t want another man touching her. The thought turned his stomach.

And then the door clicked shut, Trigger dropped his head to the bed beside him and Diggs knew she’d gone. He felt the emptiness like a truck load of concrete settling in his empty soul.

Fatigue tugged at him and Diggs didn’t fight the exhaustion. He welcomed the darkness with open arms.