Chapter Seven

Mia

 

 

I was never drinking again. Ever. The night’s events were a blur but the fact that I awoke next to Jake naked, with a delicious ache between my thighs told me all I needed to know.

  Fuck! I swore internally to myself. I wasn’t strong enough to withstand his charm apparently hence the naked state of my body. Sucking in a deep breath I shrugged his hand off my arm, praying he wouldn’t wake up from the movement. There was a dull ache behind my eyes that was throbbing with every single breath I took and I was certain that I looked like a hot mess.

 Shit! What time was it? I needed to be at the bakery baking, not rolling around in bed with a hot hunk.

 “We really should talk.” I lifted a hand to my head pressing two fingers to the side of my temple. I didn’t want to talk. I just wanted to get a cup of coffee in me and forget about the mistake I had made last night by crawling into bed with him.

 “I don’t really think we need to talk…” I retorted hoping he wouldn’t push the issue but knowing he would.

 “Really? Because after what you told me last night I’m one hundred percent sure we should be discussing us but at the very least my our daughter Lola.” I twisted around at Lola’s name, anxiety bubbling to the surface at what he had just said. I blinked did he just say what I think he said?

 “Did you just say our daughter?” I was shocked. I was terrified. But more than all of that I was confused because I didn’t remember anywhere in my blurry memory telling him that Lola was his daughter.

 Jake tilted his head at me staring me down with a dark look in his eyes, his blue eyes narrowing further as he took in my shocked expression.

 Should I tell him that it’s true? That he really is Lola’s father. If I had already done so last night then it wouldn’t really hurt anything, minus the fact that we really would have to talk about everything.

 “I’ve known you all my life Mia so I know when you’re lying probably better than anyone else. Do not lie to me about our daughter. If I knew about it, you know I would’ve been here…” I tilted my head back, my eyes going to the ceiling as I tried to blink away the tears that threatened to fall.

 There was no going back in time. There were no changing things that couldn’t be changed. Yes, Jake had a right to his daughter, but that didn’t mean that he had a right to me or my heart.

 “I don’t remember telling you anything about Lola last night.” I blurted out before I could come up with something better to say.

 “That’s because you were half asleep…. You begged me to fuck you and then right before you rolled over to go to sleep you told me….” Once I was sure I had the tears at bay I directed my eyes back to Jakes. He was staring at me with this primal need to make things right. He wanted the whole wife, three kids, and a big white house. I was past that. I just wanted to breathe without feeling my heart aching in my chest.

 “Well, there you have it…” I threw my hands up in the air, heading in the direction of my closet. “Lola’s yours. Are you happy?” I yelled pulling on a pair of yoga pants that were hanging on a hanger in the closet. I grabbed a bra next, and then a t-shirt. I didn’t care about…

 “Am I happy?” Jake growled, his front pushing against my back forcing the air from my lungs. “You hid my daughter from me? You hid your pregnancy from me?” I could feel the anger rolling off of him and slamming into me, each wave of rage threatening to pull me under.

 “What did you expect?” I shoved against his front, trying to get him to move off of me. My chest was pressed against the wall, and there was no escaping this man’s touch.

 “I expected you to tell me. Write me a letter. Reach out to me on social media. Something?” Hot breath fanned against my ear, as tingles ran down my spine. He was angry as he had a reason to be, but just like him, I was protecting myself.

 “It wouldn’t have changed anything….” I whispered, the sound of my heartbeat pounding in my ears.

 “It would’ve changed everything. Every. Single. Thing!” I could feel the anger in his words, and I turned around, my body rubbing against his as I did so. I wanted to kiss him, to make him feel the pain I was feeling right now. He wasn’t alone in feeling the way he felt but I was doing what I needed to do.

 “You didn’t want me, Jake…. So you wouldn’t have wanted Lola. I wasn’t going to give her that kind of life. The kind of life you had…”

 “She’s mine too…” I could hear the grinding of his molars and wondered how long it was going to take for him to snap. My eyes drifted to the wood floor. I couldn’t look at him. I felt bad enough hiding Lola from him, but now he was placing it all on me as if he didn’t do anything wrong.

 “She is, but you weren’t here and I wasn’t going to be the one to end your military career. You wanted to travel the world….”

 “None of that would’ve mattered Mia!” He lifted a fist, slamming it into the wall alongside my head. “If I knew… If I fucking knew I would’ve moved mountains to be here with you. I thought I was saving you… clearly, I was wrong…” Frustration laced his words.

 Anger mounted deep inside me threatening to expel out. I clenched my fists at my sides willing myself to keep quiet, and not drag this out but I couldn’t stop the word vomit from coming.

 “I did it all on my own. I did it all Jake….” I righted myself, looking him straight in the eyes. Every emotion I ever imagined him feeling reflected back at me. “I never told anyone that she was yours because I didn’t want them to tell you and make you come rushing back into my life when you didn’t want to be in my life…” I bit my lip, stifling the cry that wanted to rip from my throat. Tears formed in my eyes and my entire body started to shake. I couldn’t do this.

 “Mia….” His voice cracked and with it so did my heart all over again.

 “I… I can’t do this right now Jake. You think you’re the only one that was hurt but you weren’t. “ I shoved past him, barely escaping his hand that reached out to stop me. I needed to get to work. I needed space, time, or maybe even a drink.

 I went straight into the kitchen grabbing my car keys, and wallet of the counter. Jake’s heavy footfalls sounded behind me making me move faster.

 “Where are you going? We aren’t done here, Mia!” The authority in his voice nearly had me laughing.

 “To bake. I can’t be around you right now. I need space. Time. Air. Whatever. I just can’t be this close to you right now. You don’t understand the pain, the anger, the things I’ve done…” I was headed down the road of mayhem again. Jake stared at me for a long second before nodding his head as if he understood.

 “Okay….I'll give you some time… but I’ll tell you this…” He crossed the short space that separated us, his rough hand cupping my cheek. “You and Lola are mine and I’ll do whatever I can to make things right between us again…. I promise.” Fear of the unknown coursed through my veins as my anxiety mounted. Before I could pull away from his touch, his lips were on mine, sealing his words with a kiss. He made a promise in that kiss, with the stroke of his lips on mine, and that promise shattered every single wall I had built up in the last four years.

 It destroyed me just like I knew it always would.

 “I have to go…” I pushed away, heading towards the door my lips tingling and my body begging me to turn around and run back into his arms. I knew this would happen, one day. I guess I just never expected for it to happen so soon.