His erection came free and she wanted to go down on him, but there wasn’t enough time. God, what had happened to that repressed woman she had been? Tank had helped her find her inner bad girl, and she couldn’t get enough of her brave new inner world.

He kissed her, the throw dropping from around her body, and he crowded her to the bed. “I’m so hard for you, babe,” he whispered hoarsely.

She couldn’t even answer him, couldn’t even tell him how desperately she wanted him. All she could do was hang on to him, trying to surface above the heavy throbbing that threatened to swamp her. She wanted him now, needed him now. One hand clamped around the back of her neck, he slid his hand over her butt and drew her hard against his pelvis, his hold viselike, the feel of him wrenching a broken sob from her. A shudder coursed through him as he lifted her up and carried her to the bed.

He dropped them down onto the mattress, bracing their fall with one hand, Tank’s deep moan vibrating from his wide chest. She buried her face in his neck, her breath coming in shredded sounds as she arched against him. She was so primed for him, so desperate, that the instant she felt the weight of his arousal against her core, she locked her legs around him. He fitted himself to her and she emitted a low, tormented cry as he entered her. He withdrew and thrust back in to the hilt, finally filling her the way she longed to be filled—beyond what she believed was possible for her to take. And he didn’t stop there. He increased the tempo of his strokes, each one a little faster, harder, deeper than the one before.

“Fuck, Alyssa.”

She closed her eyes and shuddered. His words were just as urgent as the unbearable pressure building between her legs and setting her aflame once again, as reckless as the demanding, aggressive way he plunged into her again and again and again. Two more thrusts—two long, controlled thrusts were all it took—and the pressure splintered, her whole body convulsing around his, her clenching release detonating his. He hung on to her as tremor after tremor coursed through him, but in spite of her frantic urgency, he didn’t let his own need take control.

Alyssa was trembling so badly that she had no coordination left. Tank enfolded her more securely against him, and even though she was nearly incoherent, she felt this man all the way to her heart.

A heart that was falling in love with Thorn “Tank” Hunt.

It took her a long time to surface from the blinding release. But the thought of her dad waiting for her just outside the door sent adrenaline rushing through her system. She felt that she’d been burned so hotly in Tank’s fire, she was now tempered steel. It was time to face the music.

Once they had recovered, Tank dressed; the sound of his cell phone going off on the end table near the couch sounded ominous behind the closed door. It’s ring sent him out of the bedroom sooner than her. She heard him answer as she did a quick wash, pulled her hair back and threw on a pair of sweatpants and a green T-shirt with ARMY across the front in white.

Tank was near the front door, his jacket in his hands. Her father had brewed a pot of coffee; she could smell the aroma. She glanced at her dad, who was sitting at her dining table reading on his laptop while sipping from one of her mugs.

She went to Tank. “What is it?”

“I’ve got to go.” He cupped her face in his big hands. “I’m pissed that I have to go right now when I wanted to curl up with you and just hold you.”

She kissed him deeply, hungrily, desperately, striving for mindless pleasure to chase away her doubts and uncertainties. With her dad showing up, she could no longer ignore what was right in front of her. Her future with Tank or active duty. Duty. That word made her want to swear like a sailor. Duty was hanging over her now, and in the past, she’d chosen it over her marriage. Just as Stephen had done the same. Physical intimacy with Tank wasn’t just mindless sex. There was a hard, strong connection she couldn’t deny. But it was all the other emotional chaos swirling within her that made her feel as though her carefully guarded life was spinning out of control.

Being a girl had never gotten her anywhere. That phrase haunted her. She nearly broke down right there, but after years of being strong and holding herself together, she was conditioned to keeping her emotions locked away tightly.

“When I get back, we need to talk about where we go from here.” He kissed her again, a slow, lingering kiss. “I’ll call you when I get back.”

“Stay safe,” she whispered.

When the door closed after him, she realized that he was going to be in harm’s way. It drove home to her what it meant to be in love with a military man and the hollow feeling every time they were apart. It brought up the memories of living apart from Stephen on all those deployments, the lonely days and the even lonelier nights. But Tank didn’t fully belong to her. He belonged to the SEALs, to the US government they both served.

Her father closed his laptop and rose. He went to the kitchen and poured her a cup of coffee. Coming back to the table, he set it down. “I’m sorry I barged in here, Alyssa…I had no idea you were…”

“You could have waited until I said something. Geez, Dad, that was embarrassing.”

“I get it. I had no idea you were seeing anyone…who is he?”

She sat down next to him and picked up the cup, taking a sip. It was rich and delicious. Her dad did know how to brew a cup of coffee. “Thorn Hunt.”

“That Navy SEAL you have as the spokesperson for your charity?”

“Yes.”

“Doesn’t that cause complications? He’s enlisted.”

“Apparently according to Article 134, no.”

“Will that change once you go active duty?”

Her mouth dropped open. “How did you know about that?”

He chuckled and crossed his ankle over his knee. He was still a fit man, no extra belly hanging over his belt, always neat and groomed. She felt like a wreck next to him, still tingling from Tank’s lovemaking. “I still have friends in the Vet Service, honey. Just because I’m retired doesn’t mean I don’t hear things.”

“I haven’t decided if I’m going to make the transition yet. I have my practice and the charity. I don’t know.”

Her dad’s eyes narrowed. “And your tattooed hunk.”

Why did he have to mention Tank and her mind wandered to the image of Tank with just those pants on, that dark stubble shadowing his jaw. He’d been ready for an army to come through that door, and she had no doubt he would have been able to handle one. Instead, it was worse.

“I started seeing him a few weeks ago.”

“Exactly. He shouldn’t factor into your decision. Don’t let soft emotions derail you again.”

She stiffened. “Stephen didn’t derail me.”

“Yes, he did. You transferred to the reserves after your divorce. You let him affect you, and you’ve lost time in your career, Alyssa. You’re being offered exactly the position you wanted. You can go far from there. Don’t let a barely-there relationship lead you to a bad decision.”

She drained her mug. “It’s not a barely-there relationship, Dad. I’m still thinking about what I’m going to do.”

He rose and grabbed her mug and took them to the sink. “Don’t wait too long or this opportunity will be gone, and you’ll regret it.”

She thought about Tank on his way to someplace dangerous. His service to their country was steadfast, unwavering, and he would never shirk that. Could she do any less? The command needed her to step up. Did she have to give up the man she wanted for a job that she’d been working towards? Had her life taken a different path? Should she go back?

“What brings you to San Diego?” she asked, knowing full well that he had been expecting her for Thanksgiving next week in San Antonio, but cancelling her plans probably ruined his tactic of getting her home and exerting his opinion, except it was never an opinion when it came to her dad. “Did you just come here to lecture me?”

He came back into the room and folded his arms, leaning his hip against her counter. “I figured it would be easier for me to be here for the holiday than have you come back to San Antonio. I should have offered instead of demanding you come home. You know, you could have called me and let me know you were there.”

“It was a business-related trip and I had someone with me who needed me.”

“Hunt?”

“Yes. His dog Echo was wounded in battle and I went there to make sure he wasn’t euthanized.”

“I thought they didn’t do that anymore. Have things changed?”

“No, they haven’t changed. I had to argue with the attending vet.”

“You saved the dog?” He watched her face. “But something tells me it was more than that. Who was the attending vet?”

“Stephen.”

“Ah, I would have paid good money to see you take over a case from him.”

“He wasn’t happy, and he was sullen and uncooperative as he could be without being overtly rude.”

“You always threatened him, Alyssa.”

“What? No.”

“Yes. He was jealous of you and your skill, the way you surpassed him. Why do you think he took that assignment at Fort Benning?”

He had said that it would help with his advancement, but Alyssa couldn’t understand why he was willing to go so far away from her when the Army would work with them as a married couple. It wasn’t guaranteed, but he didn’t even try to change it. It wasn’t possible that Stephen had been intimidated by her. They had a great marriage.

The pain and hurt from her failed marriage had faded, but this revelation that Stephen had resented her couldn’t be true. He’d loved her. He’d promised he had by taking vows. How had things gone so wrong? She immediately thought of Tank. If she stayed here and gave up this opportunity, would she resent him? Would it undermine any relationship they had?

Tank was career SEAL. She was well aware of that without even asking him. Was she going to have to choose again between love and career? Could she give up the budding, endless possibilities with Tank to advance in her career, to fulfill her goal and make her dad proud? There were no answers.

She looked at her watch. “It’s getting late and I should turn in. The guest room is ready for you and there are towels in the bathroom.”

“Thanks, honey, and good night.”

* * *

Water is always in flux. When you move with it, you understand its currents and flow. The man standing next to him as he watched the water ebb and crash against the shore smiled, and Blue really liked his smile, his face, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners. Deep down he knew this man was important to him, but his name, his context escaped him. He had a surfboard tucked under his arm, and Blue found that he, too, was carrying one.

He urged Blue into the water. When they were out quite a ways, Blue bobbing on his own board, the man disappeared.

The sea enclosed him all around. But just as he was starting to feel as if he too were liquid, the sleek gray head of a dolphin broke the surface. The animal watched him, and Blue connected to the one dark eye on the side of his head, intelligence shone as sure as the silvery sheen of the moon on the water.

You’ve been away from yourself too long, he whispered.

Do you know who I am, Blue asked.

You have your own proof. Discover truth.

Blue woke up with a shiver to the heady smell of jasmine, the sound of snow hitting the small house like the scratching of rats in the walls. The dream was still vivid in his mind, the warmth of the water, the hot breeze that blew across his skin. The wisdom of the dolphin’s words. He had to wonder if Zen had been a part of his life. But when he reached for the memory of that man on the beach, there was only a dark, blank wall. Frustration took hold and he sat up. Pushing the curtain aside, the landscape was frozen and uninviting. One of the logs in the fireplace snapped and popped, and he looked toward the glow. His breath backed up in his throat.

She was standing in the fire’s glow completely naked. She ran a soapy cloth over her neck, down over the indentation of her collarbone, down over the tight peaks of her nipples and breasts, the water dribbling down over a flat stomach to the shadowy cleft between her slender thighs. Her body was toned from the manual labor of running the farm, from the walking and trekking over the hard ground. From hours of hard labor.

Her honey hair flowed down her back, unbound, ribbons of silk that shone in the glow of the fire. He got hard, his dick reacting to the sight of a naked woman. A completely normal male reaction. But his heart, it tripped and stumbled, marveling at this woman who was brave enough to stand up not only to a corrupt government, but a slew of goddamned cutthroat rebels. She knew more than one language, a testament to her intelligence.

He was half in love with her.

His rational mind wanted him to think it was irrational as he barely knew her—he barely knew himself. That his emotions were tied up in her rescuing him from certain death from either exposure to the elements or the end of a rebel’s rifle.

His head had stopped aching and was finally, for the first time since he’d woken to this rough-beamed cabin, clear. He watched the water trickle down her body and wanted to trace each glistening path with his tongue.

Elena turned her head and their eyes met in the semi-darkness.

Her presence offered a strange mix of contradictions. Verbal silence, but silent communication. Distance, but a strange kind of closeness. And Blue drew on her silent strength, repeatedly trying to get his mind to let go of his secrets. They were, after all, his.

He got out of bed and walked toward her, her eyes beckoning him as if she’d uttered the words, “Come to me.”

Without modesty, without shame, she never attempted to cover any part of her. As if he had the right to gaze on her stripped naked. When he stopped in front of her, she reached for his shirt and unbuttoned it, pushing it off his shoulders. Then she reached for the drawstring pants and one pull loosened them so they pillowed around his feet.

He reached out and drew her against him, her fire-warmed, damp body making his body come alive.

“You’re wet,” he whispered, his touch caressing as he smoothed his hand up her back. Elena moved deeper into his embrace. Relief that she was safe and the unexpected feeling of love mixing into a fierce surge of emotion caught him off-guard. Did he really love her? Or was he reacting to her care of him? Her hand splayed across the taut muscles of his back, and she pressed her face against his neck, holding him with every ounce of strength she had.

“You are so beautiful,” she murmured. “I have thought about this often, so often,” she said with a sob caught in her voice.

Catching her by the back of the head, he kissed the curve of her neck. “Shh, babe. I know. I know,” he murmured huskily. “It’s been tough for both of us.” Pulling her up against him, he nibbled a trail along her skin, tasting the dampness of her shoulder, the scent of her as intoxicating as the sight of her had been. “Jasmine.”

She closed her eyes, and he sank into the sensations she set off in him. Smoothing her hand up his rib cage, she arched her head back, giving him access to the side of her neck, the soft brush of her mouth sending a shiver of fire and ice along his nerve endings. He stroked her back, loosening every connection in his body when she trailed her fingers over his chest and raked her nails across his abdomen.

She arched and moved against him, the rhythmic, kneading pressure setting off pinpoints of sensation that saturated him with an ache deep in his gut, rippling along his erection, settling in his heart.

His fingers tangling in her hair, Blue turned her head, leaving a line of kisses up her neck, pulling him deeper into a swirl of sensation. Then down to each hard peak, lingering, laving her with his tongue and sucking her into his mouth, tasting her arousal, her gasp a sensual goad.

She wrapped her hands around his shaft, the up and down motion making him groan with the intense pleasure of her soft palms.

He bent down and picked her up, moved toward the bed, and settled her against the mattress, catching her hips and moving her beneath him, molding their bodies together as he eased into the cradle of her thighs.

Her breath catching, she cupped his buttocks in both of her hands, urging him, and he responded by settling himself deeper between her legs. Bracing his weight on his arms, he bracketed her face with his hands, then slowly, so slowly, brushed his mouth against hers. Elena lifted her hips, opening herself to him, and with deliberate care he slowly, slowly eased into her. “You feel so good, babe.” He tightened his hold on her face and brushed his mouth against hers again. “So damned good.”

She flexed her knees, urging him up as she smoothed her hand across the bunched muscles in his shoulders. “Move higher,” she whispered brokenly. “I want—ah, Blue—”

Tasting her mouth with tormenting lightness, he rocked his hips, impaling her with his thick, hard heat, and she tilted her hips, taking him inside her. Blue drew a deep, unsteady breath, his whole body tensing; the feel of her was so exquisitely erotic. He thrust, then bent his head and took her mouth in a deep, slow kiss that turned her breathing ragged and made her moan long, low, and beautifully feminine.

With an uneven sigh, he lifted his head, caressing her temple with his thumb. Laying a trail of soft kisses along her jaw, he moved again, a single rolling thrust that made his breath catch, his dick going even harder inside her.

In a soft stream of Russian, she whispered, “More, Blue, please. Take me more.”

Slipping his arm under her hips, he pulled her up against him, his voice rough and low as he murmured huskily, “All of me for you.” He withdrew, then thrust deep inside her again.

She met his thrusts, arching her head back, the tension in her telling him she was so close. He increased his tempo, reached between their bodies, and stimulated her. He locked her hips against his. His breathing ragged, he covered her mouth with a kiss that comforted, that promised, that incited. With infinite care and controlled deliberation, he made sure she experienced it all, and when her shimmering climax came, his soon followed as he gasped and emptied himself deep inside her.

For a long time they held each other, the sound of snow now soft with a brushing, soothing rhythm. They were warm and sweaty from their exertions. He slid to the side, bringing her with him.

She broke the silence. “I cherish you and I barely know you. But I’m determined to see you safe.”

She rubbed her hand over his chest, her touch warm and soothing. But at her words, his heart tightened.

“I’m not leaving without you.”

She breathed a sigh and said, “I want to go with you if you can manage it. I have missed the US. I want to go back where people are civilized and not horrifying monsters.” She pushed up to her elbow and kissed his mouth. “I will go to town tomorrow and talk to my contact. I don’t trust using my cell if I could even get a signal. Once I have his cooperation, I will come back, and we’ll prepare to make the journey back home.”

The thought of getting back where he belonged filled him with hope and light, and in that instant, he knew who that man had been on the beach. It was a boyhood memory, and the man was his father. He smiled at the memory of his dad. With that came the faces and names of his sisters, Bay, Raina, and Fen, and his beautiful mother. Other boyhood memories flowed along with an idyllic family life, but his own name eluded him still.

He’d discovered truth, hope following on its heels that all his memories would return.