Chapter Twenty-Five
Harrison
I stretched my hand across the mattress. My eyes sprung open when I realized that Caroline wasn’t next to me. Slowly, my mind brought me back to reality. It had been a few days since we came back from California, but I still envisioned her laying right next to me. It wasn’t just the fact that she kept me company, but it was the warmth I felt in my soul when she was close. After a deep exhale, I reached for my phone. Coping with Sarah’s death was just beginning to get better, but I still had a hard time letting go. Her room was still completely intact, and I planned on keeping it that way for as long as I lived in this house.
My cell phone was still full of her voicemails. I flipped through until I landed on one at random. “Hey, Dad. School is almost over! I cannot wait to walk across that stage and grab my diploma, then throw up a big middle finger to ASU!” She laughed. “I’m kidding. I love that school, but it is time to step into the real world. Start a career. Build a family. You know, normal grown-up stuff. Anyways, just calling to say hi. So, hi. I love you. Call me later.” I glanced at the diploma cover that I received when I walked across the stage in her place. I hadn’t done anything like that since high school, but it made me want to further my education. I didn’t have a reason to go, but it was just something that crossed my mind. Something that would help keep Sarah’s image alive. I grabbed my things and headed off to work.
When I walked into the building, Brian stood at the front, speaking with one of our head construction guys. “Hey, Phillip,” I said, interjecting myself into their conversation.
“What’s up, boss?”
He grabbed my hand and shook with firmness. “Nothing much, man. Good to see you. How’s all?”
“Things are alright.”
I looked at Brian just as he spoke up. “Yeah, except our guys didn’t come in to take care of the grass again.”
“I noticed. What is this? The second or third time in the last few months?”
He shook his head. “Yeah, man, something like that. It may be time to find ourselves a new group. One with a little more consistency.”
“My sentiments exactly. Well, I’ll go upstairs and get ready so we can knock it out. Luckily, it’s not sweltering out there.”
“Hold on, boss,” he turned to Phillip and handed him a sheet of paper. “So, yeah, those are the adjustments, and if you have any problems, just give me a call, and I’ll walk you through it.”
“Got it, Brian.”
Afterward, Brian followed me to the elevator, giving me an update on a recent account. Our guys were nearly finished with it and making room for another project whenever we could land it. When the elevator stopped on our floor, Caroline stood on the other side just as the doors opened. She smiled as soon as she noticed me. “Hey, Harrison. Hey, Brian. How are you guys doing?”
“Good,” I said, mirroring her expression. “I just showed up not too long ago.”
“Is everything alright?”
“Yeah. Yeah, we’re just um, we’re just going to go out and take care of the lawn since our guys didn’t show up, you know? Guy stuff.”
“OK.” She scooted past us as I held the door open for her. “Well, you guys take care of the, um, ‘guy stuff’ and I guess I’ll catch up with you later. Oh, before I forget, I dropped a few papers off on your desk for you to look over. No rush. I just wanted you to see the numbers and projections for this month.”
“OK. I’ll look them over.”
I let the door close on her smile as Brian laughed. “Man, you are acting like you are in high school again. Your nose is wide open.”
“Is that what it is?” I said, walking to my office. “A funny thing happened today before I left my house. My ex came by out of nowhere.”
“Your ex?”
“Sarah’s mom.”
His eyes widened. “Really? How long has it been since you saw her?”
“She came to my house not too long after Sarah died. It was some bullshit, but before that, it had been years, man. Sarah was maybe 3 or 4 years old. She just left. No note. No contact. She just went ahead and expected me to figure everything out on my own. I did, but that is not the point. She left, and since then, I never settled down with anyone. It was always one-night stands here and there, you know? Nothing to signify anything concrete.” I looked at him as he stood by my desk, waiting for me to change my shirt. “You know what it was? I didn’t realize it until she came this morning. I was just afraid of commitment. I was scared that the next woman I met was going to leave me just like Sarah’s mom.”
“Wow,” he said as he rubbed his chin. “That makes sense. That makes a lot of sense, boss. It is just crazy that it took you seeing her again for you to realize that. What happened when she came over?”
I took off my shirt and threw on a white T-shirt to help reflect the sunlight when we went outside. “Nothing. I didn’t even let her in. I told her to get the fuck out of my face and never come back.” He laughed as I continued, “She said that she tried to contact me when Sarah passed away, but my phone was disconnected. My phone has not been disconnected since I was in my early 20s. I don’t know who the hell she was calling, but it wasn’t me. She said she found my number with a Google search.”
“Yeah man,” he said as he grabbed water bottles from the refrigerator, “it doesn’t take much to find someone these days. You should probably make your information private or something. I don’t know if that will help, but hell, it’s better than nothing.” He tossed me a water bottle. I caught it with one hand. “So, how does that affect your thing with Caroline?”
“My thing?”
“Well, I don’t know what to call it. You won’t say that the two of you are an item, but then again, you won’t tell me if you are. So, I just call it, ‘your thing.’”
“Clever.” I unscrewed the top off the water bottle and took a swig. “Well, I don’t know. I didn’t feel she would leave. I didn’t have the same fear with her that I had with the other women.”
“I see.” He paused and tapped his fist on the table, as if he was hesitant to speak.
“Spit it out, man. I know you’ve got something for me.”
“Well. She is only supposed to be here for six months, so, there is a possibility that she may leave. I was always told not to mix business with pleasure because things could get complicated down the line, you know?”
“Yeah, I know. I understand your concern, but I don’t think this is that. I think we are taking it slow, and eventually, things will work themselves out.”
“Alright, boss.”
I grabbed my hat. “Well, let’s get to it before the sun decides it wants to stay out from beyond those clouds permanently.”
We headed outside to take care of the lawn, but all I could think about was Caroline. I hoped that Brian was wrong about her, because based on my feelings, I would be crushed if she decided to leave. The thought made me want to take a few steps back just to protect my heart, but it was too late for that. I was already in too deep.