Chapter Twelve
Gage sat on his couch, waiting, when Austin quietly crept into the house. “You’re late.”
The kid jerked around to find Gage in the darkened living room.
Gage flipped on the light to help him out. After sitting for the last two hours in a mild panic, debating at what point he wouldn’t be overreacting by calling the police and the hospital, Gage was ready for Austin to see the full brunt of his fury...and fear.
Hell, he’d been imagining Austin’s truck mangled and crumpled in a ditch, each vision becoming more gruesome as the night grew later.
Austin glanced down at his phone, supposedly checking the time, but he could have also been checking the hundreds of texts and calls Gage had made over the course of the last two hours. “I’m not that late. Your ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend were out riding after dark. I told Billy I’d take care of their horses before I left.”
Gage hid his reaction over hearing about Felicia and Steven had been out there for what...a date? That didn’t matter right now. He could think about it later. He needed to deal with his errant teen and nip this behavior in the bud, because this was not how things were going to work in Gage’s house.
“Yes, I talked to Billy.” He ignored the flare of alarm that lit up Austin’s eyes. “He said you left two hours ago, so do you want to revise your answer?”
“You called my boss?” Austin flung up his arms. “Oh my god, Dad. I’m not five years old.”
“No, you’re not, but you’re still a minor, and the road in between the ranch and town is filled with deer. I had to check to see if you were dying in a mangled vehicle somewhere. You’re just lucky that I didn’t call the police, and you weren’t escorted home by a cop. The next time you see Billy, you can thank him for going out and checking those ditches for your truck.”
“Da-ad.” The word was moaned so that it had several more syllables than it should have had. “You shouldn’t have done that.”
“Yes, I should have. That’s part of being a parent...I worry. Lucky for you, Billy urged me to wait to call the police. He said that you might have some things that you wanted to work through before coming home. I gave you the benefit of the doubt.”
Billy had made it sound like maybe Austin and Gage should talk, but he hadn’t been willing to explain why. Gage had no idea how to even start with whatever that could be.
Gage softened his voice. “I know all of this change has been hard on you.”
“You don’t know anything.” There was so much anger in Austin’s voice. “And what’s worse is you haven’t even thought to ask. But tonight, I heard that’s the way you run everything.”
“What do you mean?”
“Your ex and her boyfriend were fighting as they came back from riding. It all had something to do with what an asshole you are. Good job, Dad. It sounds like you’re hated equally just about everywhere.”
The words hit Gage like a physical blow to his chest. Of course, he knew that Steven hadn’t liked what he’d done, but to know that Steven was now bad-mouthing him to Felicia...and that Austin had overheard...
Damn. He didn’t want Felicia—or Austin—to think badly of him...and that was so fucked up. The fact that Felicia knowing about it made him pause and reconsider his decisions. That wasn’t how he worked as a commander. He did what he thought was best for the mission.
A civilian’s opinion—or his kid’s—should never factor into it. Only one of the commanders in his chain of command counted. Which neither Felicia nor Austin were.
And right now, none of that crap mattered, not when his son was obviously hurting and maybe trying to deflect the real problem. “What’s going on, Austin? Give me a hint. What do I need to ask? What am I missing?”
Austin shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. You don’t care.”
“I do, Austin.” Dammit, he just didn’t know his son good enough to know what he didn’t know. He knew the combination of the twin’s mother’s death and the move were bothering Austin, but this felt like something else. Something important.
Austin virtually vibrated with tension and stress. He looked wound so tight, Gage worried Austin would shatter if he asked the wrong question.
“You know I love you, right?” Gage asked. “I may not have been as active in your life as I would have liked, but that never changed my love for you.”
Austin gazed out the dark patio doors, swallowing. But when his eyes filled with tears, Gage’s heart broke.
“Austin, please...”
“You aren’t going to like it.” Austin’s voice was so low, so serious.
Hell, what could it be? Was Austin doing drugs? Had he gotten a girl pregnant? Been in a wreck? Had someone hurt him? He looked okay outwardly, but it could all be an act.
Gage swallowed hard. Surely the reality would be easier than the different scenarios that he could imagine. “Maybe not, but I promise I will support you in it, whatever it is. But I can’t do that if I’m in the dark. Let me in, Austin. Let me be your dad.”
Austin turned back to him and seemingly made a decision as he stood up straighter, prouder, ready for Gage to react badly and prepared to stand up to that reaction.
It hurt Gage’s heart to see that need for bravado. How long would it take him to convince his kids that he really did love them, and he had their back, no matter what?
“Okay,” Austin said. “I’ll just spit it out.”
Gage nodded and then waited.
Nothing. Austin shifted from foot to foot.
“You know,” Gage said, “every moment you string this out makes it seem like it’s going to be something truly awful. You can’t imagine all the horrific things I’m visualizing. So, why don’t you just say it?”
Austin looked up at him, gave a slight nod, and then said, “I’m gay.”
Gage froze, not sure how to react. He hadn’t seen that coming. Not that being gay was bad. He was just...surprised. And his son stood there, looking like he was ready to burst into tears.
“Gay?” Gage took a deep breath, trying to quickly figure this shift in perspective about his son. “Okay. I mean, that’s fine. Not that it’s a choice. I know it’s not. I’m just...surprised. You’re sure?”
Hurt flashed across Austin’s face.
Gage immediately began backtracking. Oh god. He was fucking this up. “No, no. Forget I even said that. Of course, you’re sure. That was an idiotic question.” Gage’s mind scrambled. He had no idea what to say, how to react to this...except to be supportive.
He stepped over to Austin. “Give me a minute here to process, but I promise you that I’m in no way upset about this.” He reached over and pulled Austin into a tight hug that—thank god—Austin returned.
“It’s just a surprise.” Gage shook his head and let go of his teenager. “I’m sorry. I already said that. Are you seeing anyone?” Was that why Austin had been late tonight? Was he dating someone?
Austin flushed red. “Um, yeah, kind of.”
Oh, god. This was the part of having kids that he hadn’t missed. “Are you...are you being safe?” Having sex? Oh, god. Did Gage even know how that worked between two guys? On the surface, he did, but the nitty-gritty of staying safe, not getting hurt. What if Austin needed advice?
“Oh, god, Dad. I’m not having sex.” Austin rubbed his hand over his face, mumbling about embarrassing parents.
“Okay. Yeah, that’s good.” Talking about sex had never been so hard.
Austin shook his head, not meeting Gage’s eyes looking one part embarrassed, all parts mortified.
“Tell me about this guy. Who is he? Is he anyone I know?” Did Gage even know anyone who was gay? Of course, he had to. He just never really considered it, because it wasn’t that big of thing...to him, personally.
But that was before now. Before his son had come out as gay. That made it whole hell of a lot more personal. A whole hell of a lot scarier. LGBT rights had come so far, but those rights weren’t guaranteed. There was still so much homophobic hate out there. To think of that impacting his son terrified Gage.
Gage focused back in on what Austin was saying.
“...Briggs. The guy who works at Dr. Parks vet clinic.”
“I’m sorry. What?” Briggs? He tried to remember who that was. Someone at the vet clinic? There had been a guy there, but he was an adult. Austin was still a kid. That couldn’t be right.
“Briggs,” Austin said with a wide smile. “He’s awesome. So gorgeous, and he’s really nice, too. He wants to help show me around town and...”
“No, no, no,” Gage interjected. “You’re talking about that guy who was at the clinic...the adult man...with the dark, curly hair? Who was way too old for you?”
Austin slowly nodded his head.
“No, just no. He is way too old for you.”
Austin crossed his arms over his chest. “He’s only a couple of years older than me.”
“How old?” Gage asked.
“Not enough to matter,” Austin persisted.
“How old?”
“I’m a senior, almost eighteen.”
“How old?”
Austin blew out a breath. “Twenty.”
Gage tried to calm his racing heart. “So, an adult. You, on the other hand, are still a minor.”
“Only for a couple more months.”
Which was a valid point, because then Austin would be an adult, and Gage would have no say on the matter. Oh, god. He was not ready to not have a say in his kid’s lives, to loose control of some of their major life choices. But it was going to happen, so he needed to handle this carefully. If he alienated Austin now, he sure as hell wouldn’t listen to Gage’s advice later. “Okay, I’ll give you that. Was he who you were with tonight?”
Austin nodded.
“Well, unfortunately for you, you are still a minor and living in my house, which means you have to follow my rules. Tonight, you broke those by busting curfew. So, for the next two weeks, you’re grounded. You may be here or at work. Every place else is off-limits unless I’m with you.”
Austin started to argue, but Gage raised his hand to stop him.
“Those two weeks will also give me a chance to think this through. I’m not saying no to the relationship, although that’s my first reaction.” Gage took a deep breath, scrambling to think through his options. Maybe he should get a better look at this Briggs. “If this guy’s interested in you, maybe he can come over for dinner. Maybe.”
Austin grinned wide.
“I’m not saying yes, either. Absolutely nothing about this is guaranteed yet, but I do want to be fair.” Even if it killed him. He had to do this for his son, for their future relationship.
“Thanks, Dad.”
Gage nodded. “I want you to know you can talk to me. I realize you’re almost eighteen, and soon, you’re going to be making all your own decisions. That’s the way it should be, but I also want you to know that I will always be here. You can always come talk to me, whether you’re seventeen or forty-seven. You’re my kid. That means we’re stuck together. I won’t always have the correct reaction in the spur of the moment, but I’ll try. Call me out if you have to, but don’t shut me out. I love you, Austin.”
“I love you, too, Dad.” Austin threw himself into Gage’s arms, and suddenly, Gage could breathe deeply again.
This parenting gig was harder than he ever expected, but he was slogging along. Suddenly, he missed that Chelle wasn’t here, not that he wanted to give up his time with the kids, but she’d done such a good job with them virtually alone. He sent up a little prayer of thanks to her, along with a plea that she help guide him so that he didn’t totally fuck them up from here on out.
“Okay, get to bed, kiddo. It’s late.” Gage needed to do some online research to see what he needed to know to keep his son as safe as possible. And then tomorrow, he might need to take Ralph in for a checkup.
***
THE NEXT MORNING, THE twins weren’t even awake when Gage called the dog to him. “Ralph. Come on, boy. Do you want to go for a ride?”
The golden retriever came running with his tail wagging. Gage patted his flank and clipped on his leash. “Good boy, but I’m gonna need you to act like you’re feeling a bit more poorly if we’re going to pull this off.”
Gage rolled his eyes as he went out to Austin’s truck. It would probably take Felicia all of five minutes to see through his ruse, but she couldn’t blame a father for checking out the guy panting after his son. He just wanted to get a better idea for who this Briggs guy was.
A few minutes later, he pulled into the Valley View Vet Clinic, the parking lot filled with cars. He hadn’t thought this through very well. He didn’t even have an appointment. Worse, Ralph practically pranced beside him as they walked in the front door of the clinic.
Oh, well, there was nothing to do now but to follow through with his plans. Inside, the reception area was mass chaos. Dogs barked, cats hissed and yowled, and there were at least three toddlers running loose, adding to the confusion. He approached the counter where a harried woman he didn’t recognize talked on the phone while also booking appointments for an elderly lady holding a small, yappy Chihuahua.
While Gage waited, he peered around, hoping for a glimpse of either Briggs or Felicia, but he didn’t see either of them anywhere. An older woman wearing medical scrubs stepped behind the counter and smiled at Gage. “Can I help you?”
“I hope so. Dr. Parks took care of Ralph a couple of weeks ago in an emergency situation. And this morning, something just seems off with him. I was hoping she could take a look.”
The woman leaned over the tall counter and examined the very happy and waggy-tailed Ralph with a raised eyebrow.
“I know he seems better now, but he was really off this morning. I’d feel better if Dr. Parks could just take a quick look.”
A spark of electricity ignited under his skin, the only warning before Felicia came around the corner with Briggs beside her. She handed a file to the young man. “I need you to go in and help x-ray Mr. Freckles. I’ll take care of Grumpy in exam room three.” She looked up and met Gage’s gaze, stumbling to a halt. “Gage,” she breathed out.
He gave her a sheepish smile. “Hi.”
She frowned. “Why are you here?”
“He says his dog isn’t doing well,” the receptionist said in a tone that clearly said she didn’t believe his story.
Felicia rushed around the corner of the desk and crouched in front of Ralph, who licked her and wagged his tail at the sudden attention. She laughed. “Yeah, I missed you, too, big guy.” Felicia glanced behind her. “Briggs, can you take Ralph to exam room one while I find out his symptoms from Col. Winston?”
When Felicia said Gage’s name, Briggs faltered as he came around the corner. He obviously hadn’t recognized Gage from when they’d been in before. Gage stared at the young man, letting him know that he knew exactly who Briggs was.
Briggs flushed red, ducked his head, and took the leash. “Come on, Ralph.”
Gage stared after him, hard. Too old. That was the only thought making it through his brain. For fucks sake, that guy almost had a full beard.
Suddenly, Felicia poked a hard finger into his side.
He reared back. “Hey, what was that for?”
“I was trying to get your attention, which seemed to be suspiciously focused on my assistant. You haven’t switched teams on me, have you, Gage?” Her eyebrows raised above humor filled eyes.
Gage’s face flushed hot. “No, but I do want to talk to you about him.”
She blew out a breath and glanced over at her extremely full waiting room. “You have five minutes if this really isn’t about Ralph.” She turned toward the desk. “Megan, this won’t take long. Go ahead and put my next patient in exam room four.”
She waved for Gage to follow her. When they walked into the exam room, Briggs stood vigorously petted a very happy and obviously feeling great Ralph.
“He’s a good dog,” Briggs said.
“Yes, he is. My kids have done a good job raising him.” Gage didn’t even take a breath before he crossed his arms over his chest and said, “I understand you were out with my son—my underage teenager—last night when he was out two hours past curfew.”
Both Felicia and Briggs had similar reactions as their eyes widened in alarm. She put her hand on Briggs’ shoulder. “Why don’t you take Ralph on back and get his weight while I find out what’s been going on with him from Col. Winston.”
Briggs nodded and rushed out of the room with Ralph happily trotting beside him.
Felicia turned to him and crossed her arms over her chest, echoing his stance. “You realize your teenager is almost old enough to be considered an adult, right?”
“Don’t remind me,” Gage grumbled. He nodded toward the doorway where Briggs had disappeared. “Don’t you think he’s too old for Austin?”
“Maybe, but it’s not really up to me...or to you. Briggs is only twenty. It’s not like he’s a thirty-year-old man poaching on your young, impressionable son.”
He squinted at her. “Why aren’t you more surprised my son is gay?”
She bit the inside of her cheek. “I don’t know. Should I be? That night when you first came in, there was an obvious attraction between him and Briggs. You didn’t know?”
“No, not until he got home two hours late for curfew last night and I insisted on knowing where he was. He told me then.” Gage rubbed a tired hand over his face. He’d spent way too many hours on the internet last night, learning everything he could to help guide his son with all this.
For a moment, Felicia didn’t say anything. “If it makes you feel any better, Briggs is a good guy. Very responsible. I can always count on him, and I can almost guarantee you that if he’d known about Austin’s curfew, Austin wouldn’t have missed it. He’s very respectful and definitely a rule-follower.”
“Thanks.” Gage felt his shoulders loosen. “That actually does help. I have no idea what I’m doing here. How did I screw up my life so much that my kids are virtual strangers? God, Felicia, I fucked up so much.”
She stepped closer to him, touching his arm in a way that was supposed to be comforting, but his skin lit up at the touch. Every nerve in his body went on high alert. Suddenly, he was swamped with her honeysuckle and mint scent, and he wanted nothing more than to wrap her up in his arms.
“It’s not too late,” she said quietly.
He lifted his head and met her compassion-filled gaze. She stood so close to him, all he had to do was lean down and he could...
The door opened, and Briggs and Ralph came back into the room with a loud clatter. Felicia jumped away like Gage had some sort of contagious disease.
He slowly blew out a breath and tried to get his racing heartbeat under control.
“Thanks, Briggs,” Felicia said as he lifted the big dog onto the exam table. “I’ve got it from here if you want to go take care of those other things I mentioned before.”
He nodded and almost turned to go, but before he did, he turned to Gage. “It was good seeing you again, Col. Winston.”
Briggs started to leave the room, but Gage called out to him. “Briggs?”
Briggs turned back around. “Yeah?”
“Austin is grounded for the next couple of weeks for missing curfew last night, but if you’d like to come over one night for dinner, work it out with Austin. I’d like to get to know you better.”
Briggs’s face broke out in a huge smile, and suddenly, he didn’t seem quite so old. “Thank you, sir. I’d like that a lot.”
He walked out, closing the door behind him, leaving Gage and Felicia alone again...although this time, Ralph was with them, standing on the table where Briggs had left him, happily wagging his tail.
Felicia scratched behind the dog’s ears. “There’s not anything really wrong with Ralph, is there?”
“No.” Gage blew out a sigh. “Sorry, I know you’re busy. I shouldn’t have used this as an excuse to come in and check the guy out.”
She shook her head and smiled. “It’s okay. I get it, although if this is the way you are with your son, I don’t want to even see it when London starts dating someone.”
Gage groaned and dramatically clutched at his chest. “No, I don’t think my heart can take it.”
Felicia laughed as she gave Ralph one more scratch. “Okay, I have real patients to tend to. And just because you have such a good boy here, I won’t even charge you for an office visit today. Bye, Gage.” She breezed out of the exam room.
Ralph looked at Gage with sad eyes, already missing Felicia’s presence, too.
“Tell me about it, man.” He clipped the leash to Ralph’s collar and then helped him off the table. Every time he saw Felicia, he missed her a bit more when he walked away from her. How much longer before he wouldn’t be able to walk away at all?
***
FELICIA DIDN’T HAVE another moment to breathe until she went into the kennel area. Felicia managed to almost avoid thinking about the fact that Gage almost kissed her for another hour.
“So, what was really up with Austin’s dad showing up this morning?” Briggs waggled his eyebrows. “I got the impression he was here to warn me away from Austin, but there were most definitely sparks flying between the two of you. So, dish.”
She shook her head. “Nothing to dish about where I’m concerned, but yes, he seemed to have some concerns about you and Austin.” Divert, divert, divert. “Are you sure you want to go there with him? He’s still really young.”
Briggs shuffled his feet, looking hurt. “You think he’s too young for me?”
She smiled gently. “He’s still in high school. The two of you are in very different places in life. But that’s not my call. You just need to be careful. Col. Winston isn’t real comfortable with the two of you, but I told him you were a good guy. Just back that up by your actions, and you should be fine. But again...just stay aware that Austin is younger, so he may not have the same life experience that you do.”
Briggs clutched a hand to his chest. “Did you just call me a manwhore?” he asked in an affronted tone.
Felicia snorted out a laugh. “No, but horndog might fit.” Briggs hit on every one who walked into the clinic, but it wasn’t because he was attracted to all of them. He just had that kind of friendly, outgoing personality. For him, flirting was his main method of communication.
For a moment, Briggs continued to look like she’d said the worst thing about him ever, but then he smiled and nodded. “Maybe a little, tiny bit, but have you seen the men in that family? I know I’m not alone in thinking they are fi-ne.”
No, Briggs definitely wasn’t alone in that thought, and that was a huge part of the problem. She had to stay away from Gage despite the draw she felt to him. And she sure as hell couldn’t let him get close enough so a kiss was even possible.