18 years ago

“What do you mean, you’re pregnant?” Gage stared at this virtual stranger in disbelief.

How had he gotten someone who wasn’t Felicia pregnant?

How could this be happening? How had he managed to fuck up his life so much in one night? He shook his head at the model tall blonde and stared down at her flat stomach. “We used a condom, didn’t we?” He’d been drunk, but he couldn’t have been that drunk. He just wouldn’t do that.

“We were both really drunk. I don’t really remember, but I’m guessing no, considering...” She looked past him to the sprawling apartment complex.

But...fuck...

He rubbed his hand over his face. He would have sworn that he’d never cheat on Felicia, either, never break her heart, never do anything to make her look at him with as much contempt as she had the last time he’d seen her. Even now, just a few weeks later, the memory of that look on her beautiful face made him feel like he needed to dive for the bushes and puke out everything—all he’d eaten, all his mistakes, all his bad decisions. So many bad decisions.

All coming back to bite him in the ass.

“Are you going somewhere?” She looked down at the duffle bag in his hands.

He’d been on his way to New Mexico to try to talk Felicia. Right after New Year’s Day when everything had gone to hell, he’d been called up for a mission and hadn’t managed to get leave for way too many weeks. But he’d finally gotten that resolved and planned to win his girl back. Now, that idea seemed ridiculous.

“Are you sure it’s mine?” God, he didn’t even remember her name. How could he be having a baby with someone when he had no idea what her name even was? He was the ultimate fuck-up. Felicia would be better off without him.

She nodded, tears filling her eyes. “Yes. I haven’t been with anyone else in over six months.”

He swallowed down the disappointment as his last hope was shot down in flames. He reached out a hand to her. “Well, since we’re going to be parents, how about a formal introduction? I’m Lieutenant Gage Winston.”

She took his hand with a small giggle. Her hand felt soft and delicate in his.

“Michelle Watson. Everyone calls me Chelle.”

“Chelle.” He smiled at her and hoped it looked at least halfway convincing. “It suits you. So, you want to get married?”

Her mouth dropped open, but it was really the only choice. She was pregnant with his baby. They had to be married for her and the baby to be covered by his military medical insurance. His life with Felicia was over. He’d done this to himself, and now, he’d have to live with the consequences—a life with someone that he didn’t love or know.

Yeah, he’d fucked up big time.

***

PRESENT DAY

“Dr. Parks?” Briggs, the vet tech who worked part time in the afternoons asked.

Felicia looked up from the file she’d been updating. “Yes?”

“The Winston family is here to check on Ralph.”

Butterflies erupted in her stomach. She hadn’t realized Gage had arrived. “Okay. I’ll be out to talk with them in just a few moments. Let me finish up this form. If you could go grab Ralph and put him in exam room three that would be helpful.”

“My pleasure.” Briggs winked at her. “The guy’s a cutie.”

Her gaze flew up to him. At first she thought he was talking about Gage, but no, her gay, twenty-year old assistant would definitely be more interested in Austin.

“Briggs,” she said, using her warning tone. “He’s too young for you. Besides, I think you’re forgetting the rule...no flirting with the patients’ owners.”

Briggs rolled his eyes dramatically. “You take all the fun out of everything.”

She laughed. “That’s my job as the boss.”

Briggs was an unapologetic flirt. It didn’t matter if the focus of his flirting was an eighty-year-old grandma or a seventeen-year-old, good-looking teenager; he didn’t care. He was just one of those guys who couldn’t help himself, and that made him a favorite with all their clients.

He also had a true passion for animals. He loved them without reserve, and the animals sensed that and trusted him completely. He was a great addition to her staff. She just had to make sure to keep him under control so he didn’t offend their more conservative clients.

She finished adding the last line of her treatment of Brutus, the Panther Chameleon and then closed down the file on her computer. Standing, she swiped her damp palms down her jeans and took a deep breath to steel herself. She just avoided checking her mirror to see how bad she looked. After working in the vet clinic all day, it was bound to tell her bad news. But it didn’t matter. She didn’t need to impress Gage, not anymore.

When she entered the exam room from the back, London was crooning over Ralph, Austin appeared to be appreciating Briggs.

Gage honed in on her.

He looked so good even in an old concert T-shirt. It clung to his toned pectoral muscles and his trim waist. Gage had been fit before, but damn, age had done very nice things to him...thicker shoulders leading to that ass that had always been incredible. Even the little bit of gray at his temples and the slight crinkling in the corners of his eyes suited him.

“Hi,” he said in a low tone that sounded way too intimate for this setting.

It hit low in her belly. She straightened and smoothed the lapels of her coat. “Good evening, Winstons. Well, we have some very good news. As you can see”—she waved her hand at the large, golden retriever who was doing his best to show London how much he’d missed her—“Ralph is feeling much better. All of our tests so far have come back looking very positive. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to keep him one more night just to monitor and make sure. But if he does okay tonight, then I’m thinking you’ll be able to take him home tomorrow morning.”

She glanced down at the file with Ralph’s latest results, double-checking that the numbers looked as good as she’d said. She glanced up at the twins. “Do you have any questions?”

“Yes, I have one,” Gage said.

She turned. Looking at him directly felt like looking into the sun. Gage’s pure, masculine beauty overwhelmed her, making it hard to breathe, hard to think. It was completely unfair. How could be even more devastatingly good looking now than he did twenty years ago? He had a few gray hairs now, but all they did was make the silver flecks in his eyes spark more.

“I know you’re probably the resident expert. We’re all starving after unpacking all day.” He raised a flirty eyebrow. “Where can we find the best tamales and queso in Terravista?”

She blew out a laugh. He remembered her fondness for Mexican food. “Well, it depends on which you value more...the tamales or the queso. Because nobody will beat Rosa’s for tamales, but The Tilted Sombrero is the place for queso.”

“Oh my god.” London’s eyes glittered with humor. “How can we resist a place with the name The Tilted Sombrero? Please, Dad, can we go there?”

He chuckled. “I have to admit I’m a bit intrigued. Is it hard to find?”

She shook her head at him. “No, it’s just down—”

Austin said, “You should come with us.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh, no, I couldn’t.”

“Austin...” Gage warned.

“What?” Austin blinked wide, innocent eyes up at his dad. “You guys were together a long time ago. Don’t you want to catch up?”

Gage had told the twins about their history? What had he said?

“Oh, really?” Briggs raised an eyebrow. “History?”

“Well, yeah,” Felicia said, scrambling for a good excuse to get out of this. “But that was ages ago. Besides, I have to finish up here...”

“You don’t have any more appointments today,” Briggs said with a knowing nod at Austin. “You should go. You had a late night last night. I think you can take off fifteen minutes early tonight. I’ll take care of all the kennels so you don’t have to worry about them, and I know you were doing paperwork through your lunch break, so you can’t even use that as an excuse.”

She narrowed her eyes at her vet tech, but he wasn’t even paying her any attention. From the wink he just threw at Austin, he was sucking up to the cute boy.

She gave them all a tight smile. “Thank you, but I really can’t—”

“I would like to catch up,” Gage said. “Come on. Let me treat you to dinner as an apology for ruining your night last night.”

Her special night with Steven, her boyfriend. “Which is exactly why I shouldn’t. I have a boyfriend, and I’m sure their mother...” She had no idea how to end that sentence.

“Our mom died,” London said quietly.

It had the same effect as a primed hand-grenade dropping in the middle of the room. No one moved or said a word.

Finally, Felicia shook herself, torn between horror for these poor kids and a mortifying sense of relief. Gage’s relationship status shouldn’t matter to her, especially if it had come at the cost of someone’s life. She was a truly awful person. “I’m so sorry,” Felicia said.

“But that’s exactly why you should come with us,” Austin said. “We’re in a new town—your town—but we also don’t know our dad very well yet. Come with us. You two can catch up, and it will make it easier for London and I to catch up with what’s been going on with him, too.”

They didn’t know their dad very well? That didn’t compute at all. Was Austin saying that Gage hadn’t been part of their lives? Maybe they did need to catch up, because the Gage she had known would have never voluntarily stepped out of his children’s lives.

“Come on,” Austin pleaded. “Say yes.”

How was she supposed to say no to that? She couldn’t, so she nodded. “If you’re sure...” She directed the question at Gage one more time to check that this was what he truly wanted.

“Yes.” He nodded. “Go get your purse and do what you need to do to close up. We’ll wait for you. And Felicia, if it will make you feel better, call and invite Steven to join us.”

It made her feel better that he offered, but she shook her head. “No, he had plans for tonight. They’re getting ready for...” She winced and hesitated a moment. “Um, the wing change of command so they were having marching practice tonight for his squadron.” She grimaced and tilted her head toward him. “Is it wrong that I told you that?”

He laughed. “No, it’s a normal thing. In the Air Force, the only time we march is at formal ceremonies. As a result, we all pretty much suck at it. Last minute practices aren’t unusual at all, especially for the maintenance guys.”

It seemed odd that he made a comment specifically about the maintenance troops, but she admittedly didn’t understand a lot about the military. When she’d been dating Gage, that had been his far-off life. And Steven tried to leave work at the office, so he rarely discussed much about the military. As a result, she’d never been exposed to much of it.

***

AND THAT’S HOW SHE managed to find herself in her big, Dodge truck with Gage sitting aside her. The twins followed in their truck. She could feel the heat rolling off his body, and the spicy smell of his aftershave filled her nose, reminding her of times she needed to leave buried in her memory. “So, I think I need a bit of an explanation. The twins don’t know you?”

Gage blew out a breath of frustration. “No. I married Chelle, their mother, but we were strangers. It was stupid to get married just because she was pregnant.”

Oh, god. A huge weight sat on her chest. How long after they had broken up did this all happen? Before he’d gotten married to someone else.

“So, of course the marriage didn’t last long...just under three years,” Gage said with a grimace. “The twins were only two when we got divorced. I moved a lot with the Air Force, had a lot of overseas assignments. I tried to spend time with them, but they didn’t remember me on the rare occasions when I could get leave to visit. I wasn’t equipped to handle twin toddlers so they could come stay with me. It was easier just to...not.”

He looked out the window, tracing the rubber trim with his finger. “Two months ago, their mom had a brain aneurysm burst. No one knew it was there. It killed her instantly. I was stationed in Japan at the time, and it’s taken me a bit to get everything sorted so I could take custody of them and get moved back to the States.

“So, yeah, I have seventeen-year-old twins who are grieving for their mom while learning how to live with me, someone they barely know after leaving the only home they’ve ever known. And if that isn’t enough of a crapfest, I’m the new wing commander, so they’re also going to have to learn all about military protocol...the hard way.” He ran his hand through his hair.

She wanted to offer some sort of comfort...something to help. He seemed so overwhelmed, but it wasn’t like she knew anything about taking care of teenagers. “They seem like good kids.”

He nodded. “Yeah. For all her faults, Chelle was a good mom. She did a great job with them.”

Chelle did, not him. That had to hurt him on some level.

But then the huge sombrero sign came into view, allowing the distraction they both needed.

She pulled into the parking lot and glanced up in her mirror. Austin was still right behind her. “It will take a little bit of time before you feel comfortable, but I think you’re going to be okay.”

“Thanks.” He grabbed hold of her wrist to stop her from getting out of the truck. “And thank you for doing this. I know it’s a bit weird and awkward, but I do want to get to know you again. Despite everything that went down between us, you were absolutely my best friend at one point in time. I’ve missed that friendship—I’ve missed you— more than you’ll ever know.”

Friendship. Considering the electricity that arced up her arm from his touch, she wasn’t sure friendship was possible between them. They’d been combustible from the moment they met, and she couldn’t risk what she had with Steven by flirting with that temptation in the ruse of friendship.

“We’ll see,” she said. “For now, let’s just go eat some really good Mexican food.”

His lips thinned as if he didn’t like her answer, but that was as good as he was going to get from her. She didn’t owe him anything. He was the one who blew their relationship and friendship out of the water.

But as she climbed out of the truck, she watched the twins as they got out of their truck a few spaces down with new eyes. She hadn’t seen the underlying stress shadowing their eyes. London wore her grief like a rebellious medal. From the glares she shot her father, she was daring him to take it away.

Austin seemed more withdrawn and reticent. He’d been open and smiling in the exam room when Briggs was present, but now, he watched his father warily like he was afraid of him for some reason.

But that made zero sense. The Gage she knew would never knowingly hurt anyone, much less his own kids. What was Austin afraid of?

They all met at the entry to the restaurant, and the next few minutes were spent perusing the chalkboard menus just inside the restaurant to order before finding their table. Felicia ate here enough that she didn’t even have to look at the menu anymore.

“Just in case anyone is debating,” she told the small group, “the shrimp tacos are to die for.” She hesitated for a moment and glanced at Gage. “Although are allergies hereditary? Are you two allergic to shellfish like your dad?”

“You wouldn’t be trying to kill my kids like you did me, are you?” Gage winked at her.

“We aren’t allergic,” London said.

At the same time that Austin asked, “You tried to kill our dad?”

“Well, not on purpose. It wasn’t long after we met. I didn’t know about his allergy and I tossed some mini shrimp into a pasta dish. He didn’t realize it was even in there until his face started swelling. It was the scariest thing I ever saw. I was sure I had murdered him as I sat in the ER, waiting to find out whether he lived or died.”

Gage snorted. “You know we spent way too much time in those days going to the ER.”

“True, but your kids don’t need to hear our blood and gore stories, especially since we’re about to eat.” Felicia really didn’t want to go down memory lane with him, even though she’d started it. Those visits and how he had handled himself so confidently even in the face of fainting and suffocating were behind how she fell for him so hard, so fast.

She turned toward the twins as they all sat down at a table. “I know you’ve all just moved here and that your dad was in Japan. Where are you two moving from?”

“Georgia,” London answered, a sad frown settling between her brows as she shredded a napkin. “A small town just outside of Atlanta. We had every great store you could ever imagine within easy driving distance there, not like here.”

“Yeah.” Felicia nodded. “Terravista isn’t a large town by any stretch of the imagination. The biggest economic driving force behind it is the Air Force base. But it’s big enough that we have the basics...a decent bookstore, a moderate-sized zoo, and a surprisingly good, small, local theater. I think you’ll grow to like it, though. I know you all stopped in Snowcroft, so you know how close the mountains are. In the winter, it’s awesome to go up there to see the snow, and they have skiing, tubing, and sledding runs. Las Cruces is bigger and is only about an hour south. It has a lot of the bigger chain stores that we don’t have here, enough to satisfy most shoppers. Terravista is actually a pretty cool place if you give it a chance.”

Gage gave her a grateful smile for the encouragement. 

Felicia leaned in. “I know you’re both seniors. Do you know what you want to do after graduation?”

Austin shrugged and looked away, that uncomfortable, wary expression flitting over his face again.

But London piped right up. “I’m planning to study library science. I’m not sure where I want to go to school yet, but I’m shooting for either Princeton or Harvard.”

“Wow.” Felicia’s eyes widened. “Ivy League. Nice. A librarian.” She nodded. “I approve. You should definitely go check out Terravista’s public library. They did a huge, multi-million dollar refurb on it a couple of years ago, and it’s gorgeous. I love to go in there to read and soak in the fantastic ambience. The local bookstore in town is pretty good, too. The bakery makes a to-die-for pumpkin cheesecake in the fall which is wholly responsible for the five pounds I gain every year.”

She looked over at Austin, who’d grown a bit pale. “What about you? Will you follow your sister so you can stay close?”

He mutely shook his head, looking miserable. “I don’t have her grades.”

“And there’s nothing wrong with that,” Gage said. “Not everyone is cut out to be a brainiac. Hell, I certainly wasn’t. Not like Doc here who graduated a couple of years early just so she could keep up with her older best friend.”

She smiled at him. “I’m surprised you remember that.”

“I remember everything,” he said, his voice low and serious.

That tone sent her stomach into a free-fall. She had to ignore it.

“I don’t know what I want to do,” Austin said miserably. “It seems like everyone already has it all figured out. I don’t have a clue.”

Felicia smiled. “It probably seems that way just because these last couple of high school years are so focused on what you’re going to do next. But you wouldn’t believe the number of people that I knew who were gung-ho about a certain career, and then they got into it and found it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. You’re young. That means you have the freedom of exploring the possibilities before the responsibilities of adulthood weigh you down.”

Austin nodded and his eyes widened with excitement. “I’m hoping to find a job this year that’s something different than just being a stock boy or sales clerk. Maybe something that I haven’t been exposed to yet.”

An idea hit her. “Have you ever been around a working ranch?”

Austin’s eyes glimmered with interest. “No,” he said slowly. “Why?”

“My best friend owns a local ranch, and he’s always looking for help. It will be hard, physical work, but it’s probably nothing like you’ve ever done before. Want me to give him your digits?”

Austin looked to his dad.

Gage shrugged. “It would be as good of a place to start as any.”

“Yeah,” Austin nodded. “I think I’d like that. Thanks.”

“How’s Whitney doing?” Gage asked Felicia.

Her chest twisted, but she tried not to let it show. Of course, Gage had known her best friend. Hell, Whitney had been with her the night the two of them had met. “I actually was talking about her brother, Billy. Whitney died a few months after we broke up. She hit a deer with her car late one night and was killed instantly.”

Gage reached across and grabbed her hand.

Her nerves lit up.

“I’m so sorry,” he said. “I know she wasn’t my biggest fan, but she was a good friend to you. That had to be painful.”

Felicia nodded but pulled her hand away. She couldn’t deal with him touching her. It brought up too many unresolved issues...like the fact that she’d obviously never gotten over her sexual attraction to him.

Something that shouldn’t even be a possibility while they discussed Whitney’s tragic death. “It was. Some days, it still is, but I’ve gotten closer to her brother, Billy, over the years and it helps to have him around. They were so much alike. He’s a good guy and will be a good boss if Austin wants to take a job out there. He’ll make sure that Austin is exposed to all the different aspects of ranch life.”

She was volunteering Billy for a lot, but he’d been talking about hiring some part-time high school or college help. This would be perfect.

From there, the conversation migrated to other job options in the Terravista area and eventually dinner was over. It hadn’t been near as painful as Felicia had expected. It helped that she diverted their discussion every time it tread closely to her past with Gage. She didn’t want to revisit it. It had been painful enough to live it at the time. She sure as hell didn’t want Gage to know that she still carried the scars of that hurt on her heart.

Thirty minutes later, as she watched the Winston family drive out of the parking lot, she blew out a breath. Tomorrow, Ralph would go home, and then she could go on with her life and avoid having Gage show up in it.

***

LATER THAT NIGHT, GAGE couldn’t sleep. Between conflicted thoughts about Felicia and worry over the upcoming change of command, he’d finally stopped fighting with his sheets and crawled out of bed. If he couldn’t sleep, the least he could do was get some work done.

He attacked another box with the box cutter. As he began to unwrap the china from the packing paper, he considered Felicia. She was more quiet and self-assured now than she had been when he met her. She’d grown even more beautiful over the years.

But what was the most surprising thing of all was just how much of a turn-on it was watching her relate to his kids. She’d treated them both with respect. She’d noticed when a subject became touchy and maneuvered the discussion to easier ground...every time. He wished he had that ability with his kids.

He was always making missteps with the two of them, especially London, and that made it difficult to make any headway with them. But in just one evening with Felicia, she had them both completely enraptured with her. No wonder she’d caught his attention. He never had a chance but to fall for her.

He flipped the box over to cut the tape so he could flatten it.

They’d always been explosive in bed. Did she have that with her boyfriend now? How many others had there been since—

“Son of a bitch!” Gage yanked his hands off the box. Blood dripped off the top of his hand where he’d sliced it open right along with the tape on the box. He dove for the sink, not wanting to coat the kitchen with his blood. He grabbed the roll of paper towels, and rather than try to rip off some of them single-handed, he just pressed the entire roll to the gushing wound.

He closed his eyes and swallowed as spots momentarily swam in front of his eyes. He’d never been particularly good with blood. But he needed to get over that. The twins were asleep. Passing out wouldn’t be good. That might just terrify them. He sat down on the floor just in case and slowly removed the bloody towel roll. Immediately, the blood welled up. Nausea churned, threatening some very real problems. So, he slammed the towel roll back onto his hand.

That much blood meant that he probably needed stitches. He’d done this once before. Ironically, that had been with Felicia for their second date.

***

20 YEARS AGO

Gage reached to help Felicia out of the car, and his gaze snagged on those long, toned, gorgeous legs as they stretched out before him. Hot damn. His mouth literally watered with the need to get her into bed again as soon as possible.

His knees felt weak with need, and he reached over to the car to hold himself up. But in the next second, blinding pain raced from his hand up his arm. He yelped, unfortunately not a manly sounding yell at all.

“Oh my god,” Felicia cried as she yanked the door open, freeing his throbbing hand.

He saw blood. The next thing he knew, he was flat on his back on the ground and Felicia was patting his face.

“You fainted,” she said.

“Fuck.” He moaned. “This was not the impression I wanted to make on our second date.”

She gave him a weak, worried smile. “It’s okay. Our first weekend together was so spectacular, it would be hard to scare me off with a little girly screaming and fainting.”

He groaned. “Oh, hell. I’m never going to live this down, am I?”

“I don’t know, big guy.”

Gage noticed that she’d kept his hand out of sight although it still throbbed in time with his heartbeat and hurt like a motherfucker.

“Let’s see how you handle the stitches, and then we’ll see about the verdict.”

“Stitches?” He probably wasn’t helping his case any with that high-pitched squeal of a word.

But an hour later, he’d gotten six stitches in his hand and Felicia’s mouth on his for being so brave. He didn’t know about brave, but the cost had been worth whatever it took to feel those lips on his again.

***

PRESENT DAY

Gage sighed with the reality that Felicia wouldn’t be here to hold his hand and distract him tonight with this bad cut. He needed to man up and get himself to the emergency room. Luckily, he’d cut his left hand, so was able to scribble a note for the twins in case one of them woke up. He pocketed his keys and stepped out the front door.

His house sat dead center of the commander’s loop on base where all the various group commanders lived. He’d met several of them throughout the course of the day, but he’d never been more thankful for that than now as he glanced across the street and realized that the medical group commander’s lights were still on.

Hopefully, that meant that Dr. Cecilia Rogers was awake instead of her teenage son, Colton. He crossed the street and quietly knocked on her door. Thankfully, Cecilia answered the door in yoga pants and an oversized T-shirt.

He lifted the bloody mess of the paper towel roll. “I don’t suppose you take house calls, do you?”

Her eyes widened as she pulled him into the house. “What the hell did you do?”

“Got into it with a box cutter. The box cutter won. Please say you can save me from an ER visit and give me a few stitches here.”

She laughed and shook her head. “Come into the kitchen and let me take a look.”

Relief rang through him. At least something had gone right tonight.