I couldn’t be angry with him. I understood his reaction. I knew what it looked like. It looked exactly like what I did a year ago when I took off to New York. It looked like I was running away, hiding from the pre-ordained life that scared the shit out of me. I’m sure I seemed like a spoiled little rich girl to him, looking for another adventure, wanting to shirk her responsibilities. But I meant every word I said to him. I just needed to prove it to him. But what I couldn’t say to him, was that the thought of leaving him, the thought of walking away from him, that was unthinkable to me.

All I knew was that I could breathe again when he said I could stay. And when he started kissing me, I knew that I wasn’t meant to be anywhere else. God, his tongue in my mouth on my neck. It felt better than anything. I wanted all of him. I laced my fingers through his hair and as soon as I felt his hand on my breast, a moan escaped me. I could feel his erection between my legs and I couldn’t help but move against him. I wanted more of what he had given me last night. I never knew it could feel like that.

“Claire. Wait. We need to slow down.” He said to me breathlessly. I backed away from him and began unbuttoning his shirt as I kissed his neck.

“I don’t want to slow down Jack. I want you.”

I continued to move my hips against him, taking pleasure from the delicious friction as I unbuttoned his shirt. I may not have been very experienced. But I could tell he wanted me as much as I wanted him, and I didn’t want to wait. I knew it was right. It would never be more right.

“Jesus Claire. I want you too. You’ve no idea.”

I had his shirt completely unbuttoned and I moved my hands inside his shirt and touched his chest, running my hands down his hard, ridged stomach. Soft skin over hard rippled muscle. He felt incredible beneath my fingertips. As soon he felt my hands moving downward, he grabbed them.

We were both out of breath. “Wait, Claire. Stop for a second. Look at me.” I looked at him.

“What Jack? You know this is right.”

“Give me a second Claire. We have to talk about this.” I felt his hands around my waist lifting me off him. “Stop for a second. Look at me.” His hands were on my face. “Are you sure you want this? I don’t want you to regret it. What if you don’t stay? Maybe it’s too soon.” I heard his words, but I could see what his eyes said to me and they were begging me to tell him he was wrong, and he was.

“Jack. Even if this is our first and last time, I could never regret it. It feels one hundred percent right to me. The only regret I will have is if I don’t give myself to you tonight. This is supposed to happen, Jack. Let it happen.”

His breath was harsh and ragged. “Fuck Claire. I know you’re right. But you need to know if you walk away from me after we do this...” His voice trailed off as if he didn’t want to finish his thought.

I kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear. “I won’t walk away. You have to know that. You have to feel this.”

His mouth covered mine again, and then he whispered, “Okay pretty girl, if we are going to do this, we are going to slow down. I’m taking my time with you.” His whispers sent shivers down my spine. He moved my hair falling over my shoulder behind my back to expose my neck. I threw my head back to give him better access as he ran his tongue and lips down the side of my neck. The kisses weren’t frenzied or hungry anymore, they were slow, almost methodical, as if he was savoring every last taste. I pressed tighter against him hoping to relieve some of the aching and throbbing between my legs. He responded by moving his hands under my dress and pressing them against the cheeks of my ass pulling me closer, answering my need.

“Bedroom.” He whispered in a gravelly voice as he stood to bring me with him, like I was a part of him. His hands cupped my ass and pulled me hard against his erection and my legs instinctively wrapped around his waist as he carried me towards the bedroom. He sat down on the edge of the bed without letting me go. He palmed my face with both hands and pulled back, so we could look at each other. Our eyes locked and I immediately felt connected to him in a way I had never felt connected to anyone else. He leaned in. One kiss, one soft sensual slow kiss, and my body was shaking with need. I needed to be closer to him.

His hands moved to the hem of my dress and he pulled it over my head and dropped it on the floor. I should have been self-conscious, but I wasn’t. He pressed his lips to my chest. He leaned back again to look at me. Both of his hands found my breasts and he ran his thumbs across my hardened nipples through the sheer lace of my champagne colored bra. I tossed my head back, a small moan escaping from my throat. He began to roll my nipples between his fingers and the aching grew between my legs. He kissed his way down my chest. “You. Are. So. Beautiful. In. Every. Single. Way.” He whispered, with a kiss between each word. He reached behind my back and unhooked my bra tossing it to the side. I immediately felt his lips on my breast, sucking, licking, tasting. I wanted more. He stood still holding on to me and then laid me down on the bed.

He stepped back off the bed, never taking his eyes off me. I couldn’t bear the distance as I watched him unbutton his jeans and slide them off. He was hard, and I wanted to touch him. I wanted him bare. But he kept his underwear on as moved back on the bed towards me. His mouth found my breast again and his hand floated down between my legs rubbing through the sheer fabric of my panties. His kisses moved downward. His mouth opening, his tongue tasting my skin until he reached my panties. He slid his tongue across the waistband of the sheer fabric and my hips bucked at his touch. Hands, lips, tongue, fingers overpowering me. “Jack.” I begged.

As he continued to stroke me through the soaked fabric, he began to lick and kiss me on my hip and then on the inside of my thigh. I was overcome with need as he finally sat up for a brief moment to take off my panties. His hands parted my knees as he kneeled between them. He shifted his gaze downward as he moved his fingers between my folds stroking me gently. My hips instinctively bucked upward at his touch. My eyes were glued to him as he watched himself touching me. The contact was barely there, but he was sending me to the edge. I didn’t know how much more I could take. His gaze moved slowly up my body until our eyes met. “Jack, I need,” I said breathlessly as he stared at me with an intensity I hadn’t seen in his eyes before. I didn’t know what I needed exactly, just more.

“You’re so fucking perfect.” He whispered. “Does this feel good, baby? I need to make you feel good.”

“Yes, oh god!”

“You feel so good to me. You’re so wet. So tight.” He said as he pushed a finger inside me. He began circling my clit with his thumb adding more pressure.

I gasped, “Jack.”

He pushed in another finger. My hips bucked, and I moaned.

“Claire, I can’t wait to be inside you. I can’t imagine how good it’s going to feel.”

“Yes. Now. I want you inside me now.”

He smiled at me. “Come for me first baby, I have to see you come. Let go.” He said as he curled his fingers inside me and stroked my clit faster and harder. I tried to hold it in, but I had to cry out as my legs started to shutter and I pulsed around his fingers. His words and his touch sent me over the edge. It was more intense than it was last night. I never knew my body was capable of feeling pleasure like that. He kept stroking me slowly as I tried to catch my breath.

He moved his body on top of mine, bracing himself on the bed, with his arms on either side of my shoulders. “I love watching you come, I swear it’s the sexiest thing I have ever seen. I love how your body responds to me.” He leaned forward to kiss me, slowly at first. I grabbed the back of his head, lacing my fingers through his hair and deepened the kiss. I would never get enough of him. I knew it right then. My hands explored his shoulders and chest and I ran my hand down his stomach slowly, feeling each hard ridge as I moved them down to his underwear.

“Jack, take these off. I don’t want anything between us.” I begged breathlessly.

“I feel so lucky Claire.” He whispered in my ear tugging on my earlobe with his teeth. He sat up and stepped off the bed and peeled off his boxer briefs. My eyes were glued to his body. He was incredible.

“You’re beautiful Jack.”

He smiled at me moving between my legs again. He pinned my hands on either side of my head and intertwined my fingers with his. He kissed me passionately as he started moving against me. His hardness stroked my clit as he moved back and forth. I pressed my body into him wanting more. “That feels so good Jack. I want you inside me. I need to be closer.”

He jerked his head back and then pressed his forehead against mine and a slow chuckle came out of his mouth.

“What Jack? What’s wrong? You’re not stopping?”

“Claire. God I’m sorry. We have to. I don’t have a condom. I didn’t even think.” He whispered against my lips. He started kissing my neck again. “It’s okay baby, I’ll make you come again. I got you.”

“No Jack. Wait. It’s okay. I’m on the pill. I’ve been on it for two years.”

He looked down at me searching my eyes. “Are you sure? It’s safe. I’ve never been with anyone without a condom.”

“I’m sure. I don’t want anything between us. Please Jack. I need you.”

I wrapped my legs around his back loving the feel of his hardness moving against me. As I pulled him closer and felt him rubbing against me, I almost fell apart. “God Jack, I think I’m…I’m going to come again.”

He leaned back from me, my legs dropping to his side, “Wait Claire. Wait until I’m inside you.” He said as he lined himself up with my opening. He pushed in slowly and then searched my eyes. “You okay?”

“Yes.” I said with haggard breath. He moved further inside me and stopped for a second. I nodded at him and with one thrust, he was in as deep as he could go. I gasped at the sharp pain.

His eyes were so tender as he looked down at me, “Is it okay, are you okay?” He remained still as my body acclimated to his size and began wanting more.

I smiled at him, “Yes. It feels good,” I said, feeling a blush cover my cheeks. He smiled back at me and began to move slowly.  He stopped and closed his eyes for a second.

“God, Claire. I’ve never felt anything like this before. I don’t know how long I’ll last.” He leaned down and kissed me passionately and pulled back to look at me. Our eyes locked as his movements became faster. My hips pressed against him, our bodies finding a flawless rhythm. My breathing increased.

“Claire. I swear. This feels so right. You’re mine now. Do you hear me baby?”

“Yes.” I uttered breathlessly.

“Say your mine, Claire.”

“I’m yours.” I said as my heart began to pound.

“Nobody else Claire. Just you and me.” He said losing breath. I pressed up tight against him and he put his hand between us to rub my clit. I felt my legs begin to shake at the contact.

“Oh god. Jack…” I couldn’t say the words as I felt my body shutter and pulse as he exploded inside me.

He collapsed against me as we both tried to catch our breath. He rolled us over on our sides, leaving our bodies connected. I opened my eyes and he was smiling at me. I smiled back at him. There were no words. Nothing I could think to say to tell him what I was feeling. I felt a tear drop from the corner of my eye. He kissed it away and furrowed his brow.

“Claire?”

“Yeah?”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. It’s perfect” I said grinning against his lips.

He gave me a gentle kiss. “Did it hurt?”

“A little, for just a second. But then it was…”

“It was what?” He asked smiling at me.

“It was so much better than I ever thought.”

“You’re incredible Claire.” He pulled me closer and kissed me on the top of my head and held me for a long time. I almost fell asleep in his arms. Everything about us seemed right.

I hated it the moment he pulled away. “Where are you going?”

He smiled at me. “Stay put. I’m coming right back.” He went into the bathroom. I heard water running and he came out with a washcloth and sat down beside me. “Come here, pretty girl.” He said, as he put the warm washcloth between my legs. I felt heat rising to my cheeks. I never imagined I would be comfortable enough to let a man do something so intimate, but everything felt so right with him. He gently wiped me clean and took the washcloth back in the bathroom. I nestled in under the covers and he slid in behind me and pulled me in close to him.

“Claire.”

“Yeah?” I whispered.

“Thank you for giving me that part of you. I’ll never take it for granted.”

I turned to face him. “I can’t imagine that it was ever meant for anyone but you.”

He kissed me gently and whispered so I could barely hear him, “You’re either gonna save me or kill me, pretty girl.”

I turned back around and nestled into him and he wrapped his arms around me. I didn’t know where things would end up between us. I knew though, that I would never regret giving myself to him.