“Y ou should go with your friends .”

I picked at my lunch, feeling tired. I hadn’t been sleeping well. Not one damn night since laying eyes on Whiskey. I’d memorized the cracks in the ceiling and read about five different romance books, all with ‘happy ever afters’ that made me want to bawl my eyes out .

I told myself I was okay as long as I distracted myself. And I was, for the most part. But as soon as I fell asleep, it all came rushing back .

The man haunted my dreams. Literally .

“I can’t Aunt Mae .”

“Why not sweetheart ?”

“Well, first of all, I can’t ask you to babysit so much. It’s not fair .”

“Are you kidding? I’d pay you to let me have this little angel all to myself .”

She bounced Eliza on her hip and I smiled. Mae wasn’t exaggerating. She was everything to Petunia and I. Our entire family, at this point. And we were hers .

“Are you sure ?”

She nodded and cracked a smile .

“You already knew that though. Why don’t you tell me why you really don’t want to go ?”

I sighed, realizing I was going to have to deal with this. Or at least admit it. But saying it out loud was tying my stomach up in knots .

“I’m dreading seeing him .”

“ Why , hon ?”

“Because… I still have feelings for him .”

I held my hand up to stop Mae from interrupting .

“And I don’t want to have those feelings. Especially now that I have to actually tell him about Petunia. It was a lot easier when I didn’t actually have to see him, you know ?”

“Well, you don’t have to tell him.” She sighed, switching Petunia. “But I suppose it is the right thing to do. And it’s not like you are the only one who is hung up. That’s a two-way street .”

“ It is ?”

“That man has been looking for you since the day you left. He never stopped pestering me about you. I felt like I was being interrogated! Too bad he couldn’t keep his pecker in his pants !”

I stared at her .

“He really asked about me? When I was gone ?”

“I told you, honey. He looked like a lovesick bull in a china shop. And he never gave up trying even though I gave him absolutely nothing to go on. I would have felt bad for him if I didn’t know what a pig he is .”

“But he is the one who cheated! He hurt me. How could he act like I did him wrong, when I saw him with those girls ?”

“It pains me to even mention this, but are you sure that’s what you saw? He doesn’t seem the type .”

“I know he doesn’t. I thought he was a straight shooter. That’s why it hurt so bad. More than being hurt, I was just so… stunned and surprised .”

“Why don’t you just ask him, dear? Were you exclusive at the time ?”

I shook my head .

“We hadn’t had the talk yet. But I thought we were together, together. We were like glue those first few weeks. Always with each other every chance we got.” I sat down with a moan. “Maybe it’s not his fault. Maybe I was too naive. But I know that I was in love with him .”

“And you still are ?”

I nodded miserably .

“I am. I wish I wasn’t, but I am .”

“Well, honey, I think it’s time you got your answers once and for all. Then you can move forward, or move on with a clear heart and a clear conscience .”

“You’re right. I know you are right .”

“Why don’t you call your friends and let them know you are coming .”

I nodded, picking up the phone .

“Hey Kaylie. You win. I’ll come tomorrow. I guess I can’t really hide here forever .”

She let out a whoop that rang in my ears .

“I am so excited! Don’t you move, we’ll be over in a few hours .”

“We ?”

“Your beauty squad of course !”

I tried to interrupt but she’d already hung up. I stared at my phone, wondering what on Earth the girls had in store for me. If they made me look silly, or like I was trying to get him back, I would lose it .

I’d just put my foot down and say I wanted to look casual. I mean, I didn’t even know if he would be there. And even if he was, that didn’t mean he’d be looking at me .

Oh God. What if …

That would be totally normal, right? A perfectly normal thing to do. It had been a year since we were dating after all .

Did that mean I should bring a date? Who? No, that was a terrible idea. And the girls wouldn’t let me walk into that situation without forewarning anyway .

Would they ?

They might, especially if they didn’t know how I felt about him. Which I had gone out of my way to hide from everyone except Kaylie and Mae .

I started cleaning up while my mind raced. I did the dishes on autopilot. I dusted the cozy dining room and vacuumed the sofa in the living room, far enough away to keep the baby from waking .

I was still pondering the situation as I started a load of Eliza’s laundry. Then I went into my bedroom where I collapsed face down on the bed. I had plenty of things to do, but I felt incapable of doing any of them at the moment .

I was really, really screwed .

* * *

I was nursing Eliza a few hours later when the doorbell rang. A chorus of feminine voices rang out. Janet and Sally were with Kaylie, I suspected. I set the baby down and she gurgled at me dreamily .

Was I ready to introduce her to the girls ?

Would they judge me for having a baby out of wedlock ?

I shook my head. I didn’t think they would. Every one of us had had our trials. Janet had even been abducted by a rival gang to work in a massage parlor .

I squared my shoulders. I was proud of the tiny person I had made. And there was only one way to find out what anyone would say .

I had to take a chance, open myself up a little .

I just hoped I wouldn’t be disappointed .

I walked into the kitchen and stopped short. This was not a friendly visit. It was an invading army !

Sally had brought a rolling rack with at least ten garment bags. Kaylie had a rubber bucket filled with an ancient looking blowdrier. The kind that came with a cap and a tube. Janet was rolling in a gigantic makeup kit that rivaled a handyman’s toolbox in size .

“Um… Hi guys. What is all this ?”

They surrounded me, hugging me all at the same time .

“We missed you !”

“You look beautiful !”

Kaylie grinned at me cheekily .

“We are here to prep you for tomorrow .”

Janet held up a box of waxing strips .

“And remove anything you don’t need .”

“You mean… my body hair ?”

She nodded gleefully .

“You want to be flawless, don’t you ?”

“ What ? Why ?”

“Because I got you a new bikini silly! We’re going to the lake !”

I stared at the tiny aquamarine bikini Sally was holding up .

“ Um … but …”

“No buts! First, the charcoal mask and hot oil treatment .”

Kaylie’s eyes twinkled .

“Janet needs to heat up the wax .”

* * *

B y the end of the night I was buffed to a high shine. Janet had even trimmed my hair and given me something sparkly to spray on the next day .

I stared at myself in the mirror, then at the bottle of dry oil with flecks of gold .

Apparently, it created ‘faux highlights .’

I sighed. Eliza had slept right through the commotion surprisingly. And I’d been too overwhelmed to tell them. Besides, it was probably better I make that introduction to someone else first .

Kaylie and Mae were the only ones who even knew I had a baby, let alone who the daddy was .

I groaned, wondering how I would find the courage to face up to this mess. On the bright side, at least I knew I would look good doing it .

I climbed into bed and slept for the first time in two weeks .