Chapter8
“What?” Kevin dropped the fork from his hand. “What do you mean you’re pregnant? I thought Nattie was having a baby. Are you both going to-”
“No, I was pregnant, at least that’s what I thought. I wanted to make sure before I told you.” She paused and pushed a pea around her plate. She hadn’t eaten any of her dinner. Instead, she formed a volcano out of her mashed potatoes and had tiny pea villagers milling around the base next to the whale shaped grilled chicken breast. Her eyes watched the worried villagers as they went about their day. “Are you upset?” she asked Kevin without looking up.
“Well, no,” he said. The hesitation in his voice didn’t do anything to subside her fears. “I mean, I’m not upset. The timing’s not great but we’ve always wanted kids. This is better than not being able to have kids, right?”
Molly looked up from her peas. “Really? You’re not mad?”
“Of course I’m not mad. We weren’t being irresponsible. You’re on the pill and I always use a condom. And it’s not like he’s someone else’s kid. He’s going to be my boy.”
“Ha, haha, yeah…” She laughed a little too loud. “Great. Well, I should schedule a doctor’s appointment then. I’ll have to find an OB around here instead of my old one out in Seattle.”
“But the OB/GYN’s in Harborview are amazing. Their…” He paused. His brows furrowed and his forehead scrunched creating lines that ran across his forehead like wrinkly grill marks. “…baby doctors,” he finally finished. “Their baby doctors are the best over there.”
“Harrison is, like, two hours away. What happens when I go into labor?”
“We can get a referral for a good doctor in town once we get a good OB/GYN in the city. Or, once it gets close enough, maybe we can have you stay with my mom for the last month or so. It’ll be a good way for you to bond. She can give you parenting tips and everything. My mother’s the best. Maybe this is the way that you can see that.”
Molly swallowed. Hard. “Oh,” she said, the enthusiasm leaving her voice like the last train to Memphis. “Great,” she said in a singsong.
“I don’t know why you and M other don’t get along.”
There is something about the way that he calls his mom “Mother”, she thought to herself. It’s oddly disturbing and sends shivers down my spine.
“Sometimes I see a lot of Mother in you.”
Molly twitched. “Really?” she asked, slightly offended. “I don’t see any of that.”
He grinned. “You both have big hearts-”
But her backhanded compliments never really…
He continued, “You both love me.”
She’s more obsessed with keeping you under her wing…
“You both have similar personality quirks.”
“I don’t know,” she said out loud. “I suddenly feel like you don’t really know me at all.” She forced a chuckle out of her mouth in hopes that he wouldn’t feel as offended as she was. Of course, he didn’t seem to notice.
“My mom’s a really great person once you get to know her. I just wish you would give her a chance. We’re going to be family after all. She loves kids and she’s going to want to spend a lot of time with you and the baby.”
A sudden wave of panic rushed over her. “Oh,” she said, plainly. “I guess I hadn’t really thought about that. Since we’re so far out, it just seemed like she’d only visit around the holidays. She doesn’t like to leave the city after all.”
“Well, I’m going to call her right now and invite her over next weekend. We can ask her about all of her tips and advice for the pregnancy. She did a great job with me. I’m sure she has some wonderful tips for you.”
“Yay.” Her pathetic attempt at enthusiasm wasn’t even fooling her. “Tips from your mom. Just what I’ve always wanted.” She scooted her chair back, causing the feet to squeal loudly against the floor. “I’ve lost my appetite. I’m going to go read a bit, if you don’t mind.”
“Of course,” he said, not appearing to pay any attention. He already had his phone out and was dialing his mother’s number. “Mother,” he said with an amount of joy in his voice that Molly hadn’t heard in a while. “Guess what?!” He paused. Molly picked up her plate, trying not to make any noise with her silverware. “Molly’s pregnant! We’re going to have a baby!” he said. Molly could hear his mother’s mumbling through his earpiece. “Well, I know the timing isn’t ideal but isn’t it great that we’ve started right away? Do you want to come over next weekend? You can see what Molly’s done with the house – it’s beautiful – and you can give us pregnancy tips. Well, you can give Molly pregnancy tips. I’m not going through it, after all.”
Molly could feel her stomach lurch. She didn’t know if it was because of the baby or if it was stress induced. She assumed it was both and left with her plate. As soon as she stepped into the kitchen she began to hear Catherine Tyler’s voice.
“Stainless steel appliances? How flashy and inappropriate. You should have clean, sleek white lines in your kitchen. This kitchen is way too dark. All of that dark wood, the black or stainless steel appliances, the dark marble countertop – which has way too many veins and splotches – Ugh, it’s so dark and foreboding. Why are you like that, Bobbie?” Catherine’s voice kept nagging her over and over again. This was what the next nine months of her life was going to be. Nagging and complaining. “You’re doing this wrong. You’re doing that wrong.”
She could feel her blood boiling and it was all that she could do set the plate down on the breakfast bar before she threw it across the room. She sat down in front of it and looked up to the sky.
Molly nearly screamed and if it wasn’t for Miguel walking into the kitchen, she would have. Miguel had been promoted to butler after they found their maid stealing from Molly’s jewelry box. Miguel didn’t seem to mind the raise and he wasn’t doing too much extra work. While Kevin liked to keep him busy, Molly had started to do more and more things on her own lately, which meant that Miguel’s main purpose when Kevin was gone, was to watch Molly. She knew that. Miguel didn’t have to tell her that. She knew where his loyalties lie. Luckily for her, they leaned mostly toward her.
Miguel had begun wearing more suits since the promotion and he wore them well. Molly made sure to take him on a shopping spree after she saw him dressed to the nines one day.
On this particular day, he wore one of the grey suits that she bought him.
“Are you all right, Miss Molly? Should I take you to the hospital or? You look a bit light headed.”
“I’m fine,” she said, taking a breath. “I’m fine, thank you.” She walked over and gave him a hug. “Mrs. Tyler will be coming to visit us soon.”
“Mrs… Oh, Mr. Tyler’s mother? Okay. How long will she be staying?” He unbuttoned the vest that he wore under the suit jacket and sat on one of the bar stools next to her. His slightly portly belly pooched out as he sat down.
“Too long,” she muttered. She folded her arms on the counter and placed her head down on them.
Miguel rubbed her back. “You don’t actually know how long she is staying, do you?” he asked and smiled when she shook her head. He looked behind him to make sure that Kevin wasn’t coming down the hall. Then he leaned in close and whispered, “I have a mother in law just like that. She hates me and she makes it a point to tell me exactly what I’m doing wrong every time she comes by. Then she drops off useless things that she thinks we will like.” He lifted his arms up. “Like we will love her – despite all of her crazy habits – just because she gave my kids a yoyo and brought me a Dollar Store flashlight.”
Molly laughed. To her surprise, it made her feel slightly better. She knew that Catherine wasn’t going to be the only naggy mother-in-law in the world, but it felt nice to be reminded that she’s not the only one going through this. “What do you do when she comes to visit?” she asked.
“I just nod my head and smile. I thank her for the trinkets and then when she leaves we all throw them in the donation box. Someone will have a good use for them. But I’m lucky. I have an understanding wife that knows how crazy her mother is.”
“Unfortunately, Kevin’s a momma’s boy. He thinks that his mother is a saint.”
“Ohhh, that is a problem.” He took a deep breath. “Tell you what, when you think that you’ve had too much and you can’t take any more of her nagging, you come tell me and I’ll whisk you away for some errand, chore, or something else that you, ahem ‘have to do’. Urgent matters, you know. But of course, I’ll just be taking you out so you can get some fresh air and a cup of decaf coffee.”
“Decaf,” Molly said. Her brows furrowed. “That’s sacrilege. What are you talking about? Decaf.” She scoffed.
He drew his lips. “You’re not going to want to hear this but you know that you won’t be able to eat and drink the same when you’re pregnant, right?”
Molly groaned. “Crap, you’re right. No coffee, no sushi, no alcohol… How am I going to get through his mother’s visit without any wine and coffee?”
“Well, you can’t smoke cigarette either so I don’t know,” he said. He gave her a side hug and hopped off of the barstool. After buttoning his vest back in place, he dusted himself off and smiled at her. “I’ll take care of you. It’s what I do now, after all.”
“You’ve always seemed to watch out for me, Miguel. If it wasn’t for you and Nattie, I think I might have already gone crazy in this big ol’ house.”
He took off his jacket and walked it on a hook next to the pantry before taking the plate from the counter.
“Oh don’t do that,” Molly said. “You’re not supposed to clean after me. Not like this at least. Just the mess that is my life, not my actual mess.”
He laughed as he set the dish in the sink. “Well, I’m going to call it a night anyway,” he said. As he unbuttoned the cuffs of his sleeves and began to roll them up, she noticed that he had a tattoo on his arm.
“What’s that?” she asked.
“Oh, sorry. Do you find tattoos offensive? Should I keep them covered?”
“Oh, gawd, no. I mean, don’t show them off to my future mother-in-law but I don’t care. I almost thought of getting one myself. On the side of my hip.” She motioned toward his arm. “What’s yours?”
“It’s a rose for my mother. Her favorite flower was always the yellow rose so I dedicated this one to her after she passed away a few years ago.” He touched it with his other hand, caressing one of the expertly drawn petals. “She was a good woman. You remind me a lot of her. You have a good heart and you are curious. My mother never lost her child-like wonder,” he said, thoughtful. He finished rolling up his sleeves and began to rinse off the dishes.
“See, now that sounds sweet.” She looked around, to make sure that Kevin wasn’t within ear shot. “Whenever Kevin tells me that I remind him of his mother my heart begins to do jumping jacks and I feel like I might empty the contents of my stomach onto his shoe.”
“Well, that’s probably not the reaction that you want when he says that,” Miguel said. “It worries me that this woman has such a strong effect on you. You shouldn’t let people get the best of you like that. Good thoughts,” he said. “Think good thoughts. My mom used to tell me to repeat a phrase to myself whenever I got mad at someone. Oh, what was it….?” He thought for a moment and then turned off the faucet. As he opened the dishwasher it came to him. “Oh, that’s right. It was something like, ‘I love you even when you say insensitive things.’”
“That’s silly. I mean, what is that going to do?”
“Well, first, you don’t say it out loud. You say it to yourself. And when you say it, you’re supposed to try your hardest to make those feelings true.”
“But that woman is as ungrateful as she is ignorant and insensitive.”
“Well, then that’s what you tell yourself. ‘I love you, even when you are ignorant and insensitive. There’s a thought process out there.” He waved his hand around toward the door. “Fake it until you make it. I think they are talking about success and acting confident but I think it can be applied anywhere in your life. Especially this.”
“Will myself to find her tolerable? Will myself to love her?”
“Well, maybe not to love her but to find her tolerable, yeah. Try it out. Hopefully it can help you manage for a little while.” He dried off his hands and unrolled his cuffs. “All right, I’m off. Do you need anything before I go?”
Molly shook her head. “You’ve been great. Thanks.” She skipped over and gave him a big bear hug.
He hugged her back and chuckled. “Don’t get me fired, Miss Molly. I won’t be able to give you my mom’s advice if you do that.”
She dusted and straightened his shirt. “Of course. Professional.” She sighed.
* * *
In the days to come, Molly saw just how excited Kevin was about the baby. Unfortunately, she didn’t really understand why he was so insistent about having a boy. “It’s not like we have to hand down some kind of kingship to a male heir,” she said to him as he drove them to one of the local Pottery Barn Kids. Molly hadn’t realized just how many nursery and kids’ furniture shops were in Seattle until she had gotten pregnant. However, what surprised her even more was how much attention the baby was getting from Kevin and it wasn’t even born yet.
“I just know that he’s a boy. I can feel it in my bones. I always knew that my first kid was going to be a boy.”
“Why are you so involved in this process? I mean, decorating his room? You left me in charge of the rest of the house.”
“Don’t be like that,” he said. “I’m just excited about the baby. That’s all.”
“All right, all right,” she said. “I won’t look a gift horse in the mouth.”
Despite all of their bickering over beds, they finally decided on a more gender neutral vintage-inspired crib which would easily convert into a toddler bed when then time came. The artful molding and wood legs were chic enough to appease Kevin (or rather Kevin’s mother, Molly thought), while the gray color would be suited for a daughter or a son. It even had ivory colored pin-tucked upholstery on the outside of the two flanks that did not have bars. They chose a matching, upholstered, swivel rocker for Molly and a rather large, extra wide changing table that was also the same gray in color. The topper, which provided a small padded layer and sides so that the baby wouldn’t roll off the table, was removable which allowed the changing table to convert into a dresser when their child no longer needed diapers.
Kevin made sure to grab a bookcase as well as a few shelves to hang on the wall. He wouldn’t put them up, of course. Kevin never worked with his hands. Instead, he asked Miguel to do it.
Molly and Miguel painted the room (dark ashy grey and white horizontal stripes around three walls with one solid white wall) on a hot and sweaty day. She wanted to surprise Kevin with it and she was sure that her future mother in law would love the light color scheme. However, the look on Kevin’s face when he walked into the room that night said otherwise.
“What the fu…” He stared at the room, mouth agape and eyes as wide as saucers. Flying saucers.
“You don’t like it?” Molly said. “It’s fun but still light. It’s even a touch masculine since you’re so convinced that it’s a boy. I thought you’d like it.”
“It looks like we’re raising some kind of jailbird in here,” he said.
“Well, jail cells don’t have this much color in them and they wear orange jumpsuits now,” Molly muttered under her breath.
“I don’t care. Get it off the walls.” He turned to leave the room. “Miguel!” he screamed. He rushed out of the room. Molly fell to her knees and looked around. Everything looked perfect, at least she thought so. They had worked so hard. All day. But what did she expect. He cared so much about this unborn son of his. She should have asked him for his approval first. She shook her head. The screaming from the hallway continued. She heard him as clear as day. “I don’t care about her stupid feelings. I’m not raising my son in that. I told you to watch her and tell me what she does. This is just unacceptable.”
Molly stood up and left without any hesitation. Choosing the other path which veered away from her screaming fiancé, she grabbed her purse and cell phone on the night stand before ending up in the back seat of Miguel’s car. Which, of course, scared the crap out of him when he jumped in the driver’s seat.
“What are you doing here?” he sputtered.
“I don’t want to be home right now. I figured that you’d be going out to get more paint. Would you mind just taking me out somewhere?”
“Well, I’ll take you somewhere but not alone.”
“Take me to the café on 7th and Pine. I’ll have Nattie meet me there.”
Miguel started the car and drove out of the circle driveway, narrowly avoiding Kevin’s Jag. “Sorry,” he said. “Call it a Freudian Slip.”
“You better be sorry,” Molly said. “Next time make sure you hit it.” She grinned, not having the energy to laugh out loud. Tears streamed down her face as they drove away.
* * *
Molly pushed the large chocolate crumb from her biscotti across her plate. She was so focused, in fact, that she didn’t see anyone walk up to her table. The chair across from her howled, making her jump. Her eyes went from her plate to Justin as he sat down.
“I’m surprised you texted me,” he said. “I didn’t actually think that I’d hear from you again.”
“You weren’t going to, actually. But I just needed to get away and get my mind off of things. I knew that you could help me with that.”
“What am I? Just some kind of booty call?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow.
Molly shook her head. “You’re attractive and all but you have no booty to speak of.”
“Well, with that thinly veiled insult, let’s go. I figured that you were up for a little adventure. I want to take you out to my aunt’s place. It’s gorgeous out there.”
“It’s like eight o’ clock. The café’s closing up right now,” she said as the waiter took her empty plate. “I don’t think they’ll be up for any visitors.”
“Well, they’re not home right now. I’m supposed to be watching their house so I’ve got the keys. Come on. Viva la revolution. Carpe diem.”
“I swear to gawd, if you say YOLO…”
“Ugh,” he said, standing up. He held his hand out to her. “I can’t believe you just said that. You’re not one of those crazy YOLO girls, are you?” He held her hand and led her out to his Jeep. “Cause that would just be sickening.”
“Mm, hmm,” she said. “If either of us led a life based off of that ‘waste- of- a- breath’ term, I think it’s you.”
Justin helped her into the passenger’s side of his Jeep. “Why would you insult me like that, hmm? Why? I’ve been nothing but kind to you. You want to be swept away and taken on a little adventure and here I am. Who else would do that for you?” .
Molly rolled her eyes. “Oh please.” She laughed and then looked to the driver’s seat as Justin hopped in. “Where are we going again?” she asked. “I mean, what are we going to do there?”
“My, um,” he stuttered as he started the Jeep. “My aunt’s out of town and she doesn’t live too far away. I’ve got a spare key to her place. I thought it’d be a nice, quiet place to hang out and besides,” he said pulling out onto the road. “She’s got a pool.”
“I didn’t bring my swimsuit.”
“Hmm… Your point?”
They drove for a little while. It was quiet at first and that might have felt awkward if Molly didn’t enjoy the silence so much. It was fairly quiet at home but that was a lonely type of silence. This felt close. The trees that lined the town were spindly and seemed to wave at her as they drove by. They were different compared to the ones in Pine Falls. Those trees had been around for – what felt like – forever. They could tell stories. These were small and young, full of potential and life – something that she felt like she was lacking and she didn’t know if she wanted her child to grow up the same way. If Kevin had any say in it, this boy of hers might be better taken care of than she ever would. That’s any mother’s dream, right? Then why was she so unhappy and worried about the future.
“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” asked Justin.
Molly snapped out of it. Maybe this was the right time to tell him that she was going to have his baby. Or should she? She had already decided against that idea in the first place but then…, she hadn’t expected to see Justin again.
“Stuff…” she finally said.
“Wow, must be heavy. You’re never this quiet.”
“Hey.”
“You can tell me anything. You know that.”
She nodded. “Not right now. I just want to enjoy the drive.” She watched him grin as he drove on. His shoulders relaxed and he sat back in his seat, getting comfortable. There was something about how he held the wheel in his hand. His right hand rested on his lap but his left hand grasped the wheel intensely. Her heart raced as she watched him.
“You all right?” he asked.
“Yeah…” She took a deep breath and composed herself. “I’m fine.” But no sooner had she turned away that she found herself eyeing him once again. The wind blew against his shirt, pressing it into his chest and abdomen. She could just barely catch a few lines and it aided her in her wild imagination. Her thoughts raced back to their night of passion. She had succumbed to these desires without any hesitation and had only felt guilty when she saw Kevin again. What was she doing? She knew better than this. It was as if she had no control over her impulses and as soon as she was out of Kevin’s range of control, she went running back to Justin.
The sky turned from a blue to orange faster than she had expected. Evening was coming fast but she didn’t feel worried. It surprised her to an extent but it was as if she wasn’t in the right frame of mind anymore. She wasn’t being held captive in hat house. She deserved this. Right? Then it hit her like a ton of bricks. Deserved this? Deserved what? What was she doing?
The car must have sensed her reaction because it lurched left and parked on the side of the road. Justin pulled the keys out and stuck them in his pocket. “You ready?” he said.
“Yeah.” She hopped out of the car and made her way to a house, only to be stopped by Justin.
“It’s that house, actually,” he said, pointing across the street. His hand reached out and grabbed hers as they walked across the narrow street and headed toward a rather large home.
She looked up at the house. While it appeared to be three stories tall, it was also narrow. A wrought iron fence surrounded the backyard and the gate looked to be open.
“I left the gate open for us. I hate having to use the front door key because I have to remember the alarm code,” he said. He helped her out of the car and led her into the backyard. The white walkway was paved with triangular stone pavers. The backyard was beautifully decorated. The pavers walked around the pool, which was also surrounded by river rocks. The pool itself was raised slightly but by the depth, she could tell that it was both above ground and underground. Along the back fence were shrubs and small decorative trees – the equivalent to tiny toy breed dogs. They didn’t do much except look pretty. They weren’t like the regular pine trees that were so abundant in this part of the country. On the far end of the pool was what looked like a headboard except water poured out of the side, creating a pleasant and elegant waterfall.
“Your aunt’s place is gorgeous,” Molly commented. “Can you get the name of the landscaper for me?”
“Landscaper?” he said with a chuckle. “That is the snottiest thing I’ve ever heard you say before.”
“What are you talking about? That wasn’t snotty. I didn’t tell you that her house was smaller than mine or that her pool is the size of my bathtub.”
“Is it?” he asked.
“No, I mean, yes, but I wasn’t going to say that because that is snotty.”
He laughed as he took his shirt off. “Asking about landscapers though? That’s not a Pine Falls question.”
“No, but you know that I don’t live in Pine Falls- Oh my gawd, what are you doing?” she sputtered.
“I’m taking my clothes off so I can go swimming.”
“What? You’re seriously getting in the water now? I don’t have a bathing suit. I already told you that. You’re not much of a host if you’re just going to leave me up here while you have a good time.”
“Who said I was leaving you out here?” he asked, kicking off his shoes. “Strip down. You’re going to join me.” He said it as if it was a fact, but his tone wasn’t as demanding as Kevin’s. No, it wasn’t as condescending.
“I’m not getting in there. Can I at least borrow one of your aunt’s suits?”
“You don’t think it’s gross to put on someone else’s swimsuit? That’s like wearing someone else’s underwear.”
“No, it’s not…” she started, her voice faded as the words came out of her mouth. “Really, it’s not the same.”
“It’s literally exactly the same. Now get naked or at least strip down to your skivvies. We’re going swimming.”
Molly folded her arms over her chest smugly. She didn’t even bother repeating her opposition. She just stood there and watched him. He might end up having more fun than her tonight but she was going to at least get a show out of it. Justin took off his pants and stretched. His boxers were black, just as they were the night that they had sex. She wondered if he had more than one kind. She wondered if he had more than one pair. Then, as soon as the thought flittered into her mind, his boxers flittered into the wind and landed at her feet. She stared at them for only a split second before looking up and watching his bare bottom as it slid into the pool. Well, now she had to join him, right?
He dove deeper into the pool, getting his entire body wet before bobbing back to the surface and wiping the water off of his face. “Well?” he said.
“I’m not going to skinny dip with you..”
“Why not?”
“Because that is indecent.”
“Of course it is,” he said. “It’s fun. If it wasn’t indecent, it wouldn’t be fun. Now get your ass in here.”
She scoffed at him but couldn’t turn away as he began to swim laps around the pool. The moonlight and remaining solar lights illuminated the water and his exquisite physique. It didn’t take more than a couple glances for her to take her sweater off.
“That’s my girl,” he said.
“I’m not going to take my under pants off,” she said softly, not sure if she was telling him that or if she was telling herself that. It didn’t make her feel better and his response didn’t either.
“Oh come now, you don’t want to have to walk around with wet undies on after we get out, do you?”
“I suppose not,” she said. Her eyes looked up at him as she slipped her skirt off. “Can you not look?” The words crept out of her mouth slowly in embarrassment.
“I’ve seen you naked before. You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.” However, despite his words, he turned around. His muscular shoulders bobbing in and out of the water as he treaded.
Molly left her clothes in a small pile on the white pavers before sliding into the water. The water was both shocking and refreshing at the same time. She couldn’t tell if her goosebumps were from the cool water, the cool air, or the excitement of what she was doing. She swam laps with Justin, stopping briefly to look over at him.
“What’s up with you lately?” he asked suddenly.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, nothing I guess. I know that we aren’t doing the whole relationship thing because you have a guy but… You seem to be avoiding me extra hard this time around.”
Molly thought for a moment and realized that being naked in his aunt’s pool didn’t seem like the perfect time to tell him about the baby – if she wanted to tell him at all. “I’m fine. Just busy with stuff.”
“Stuff?” he repeated with a scoff.
“Yeah, we’re remodeling and…” She tried not to look in his eyes.
“Hey, listen. You don’t have to lie to me. There’s no reason for lies. If you don’t want to tell me what’s going on, just say so.” He swam up to her and kissed her forehead gently. “I can respect that boundary.”
She sighed. “I- I just- I mean, I don’t want to-”
“We don’t have to be complicated.” He pulled her close with one arm and kissed her again, this time softly on the lips. She sank into it, melting in his arms. They started in the pool, but soon moved out of the water, into the cool night air. The brisk breeze would have heightened her senses and made her break out into goosebumps but Justin kept her warm under his overheated body.
A light from the front of the house caught their attention. It moved across their vision like a spotlight.
It was the light of a car. They quickly finished getting dressed.
“Will your aunt mind that we used her pool?” Molly asked, worried because of Justin’s hurried actions.
“Well… Funny you should mention that,” he said, grabbing the rest of his clothes. “Come on, I’ll tell you in the car.” He grabbed her hand as she was buttoning her shirt. He led her around the side of the house and up to the gate. He peered around the corner and slowly unlatched the gate before leading her through it.
“This isn’t your aunt’s house is it?” Molly asked in a loud whisper.
“I’m sure that it’s someone’s aunt’s house,” he said, latching the gate. Hand in hand, they ran across the street and hopped into his unlocked car.
“Did you just make me commit a felony?” she sputtered. She tried to sound angry but it didn’t come out that way. Her heart was racing and her head was spinning.
“It’s only a felony if you get caught,” he said with a laugh. The engine roared to life and they sped off.
“Oh my gawd…” Molly couldn’t stop laughing. “I can’t believe that just happened. I’m an accessory.”
“Like a handbag or a watch,” he said. He glanced at her as he drove and he grinned.
“What?”
“You had fun, right? I’ve never seen you smile like this before.”
She shook her head and crossed her arms. “I’m not admitting to enjoying an evening of debauchery and crime. I’m not that kind of girl.”
“Well, what kind of girl are you?” he asked.
One that is having your baby, she suddenly thought. Her face must have shown her sudden change in emotion because his mimicked her look of worry. “Sorry,” she said. “I was just thinking about how I would look in stripes.” She made a face. “Hideous.”
He let out a chuckle and nodded. “I bet you look good in absolutely everything, Molly.”
The sweet sentiment took her by surprise. When was the last time that Kevin said anything that nice to her – unprompted? Or when was the last time that she heard that at all? From anyone besides Nattie.
* * *
Molly ran from the edge of the neighborhood to her house. As she ran down the street in the dark, she felt so alive. When she was younger, she never had to sneak back into her house after betraying her parents’ trust. This was a new sensation for her.
She unlocked the gate and ran around back to where her pool was. The sensor lights in their backyard turned on, illuminating what little landscaping they had done. Besides the pool, the gigantic playset, and the limited outdoor furniture that they had on their covered patio, there wasn’t much to look at just yet. She knew that they would have to put some kind of gate around it when the baby was born but it wouldn’t have to be for a while. For now they could enjoy their baby- free, adult home. She slipped her clothes off and dove into the pool.
More lights turned on and the sliding glass door opened and shut with a slam. She turned around to face an angry Kevin. He was in his boxer briefs and a white t-shirt. His nighttime attire wasn’t extremely seductive.
“Where have you been?” he snapped.
“I was out with friends.”
“Are you drunk? Or high?” He raised his hands up. “It’s past midnight. Why are you taking a swim out right now? You can’t be doing stuff like this. Think of the baby.”
“I’m fine,” she said. Her brows furrowing as the words left her mouth. “I’m fine. I’m not drunk or high. I just wanted to be a little adventurous. Do you want to join me?”
“No, I don’t want to join you. Adventurous.” He scoffed. “Molly. You’re pregnant. Now is not the time for adventure. Get that out of your mind. And for goodness sakes, put some clothes on. The neighbors can see you.”
“No they can’t,” she said, looking around. “Our fence is high enough. I’m not hurting anyone, Kev. Join me, would you?”
He waved her off. “I’ve got a hearing in the morning. I don’t have time for this. Just come to bed already.” He continued to mutter to himself as he walked back to the sliding glass door and stepped inside.
Molly continued to make a couple laps around the pool. Slowly at first, the faster until she found herself out of breath. Is Kevin right? I’m pregnant now. Does that mean that I can’t go off and have an adventure now? I can’t live my life anymore – even though I just started to?
After a few moments, which felt like forever, she got out of the pool and dried herself off with her shirt. In her spontaneity she had forgotten that she would have needed a towel. That and she needed to mask the fact that her hair was already wet. As she dried herself off in the guest bathroom her phone buzzed on the bathroom counter. It was a text. From Justin.
“Kriply Park. Tomorrow. 3PM at the monkey bars.”
3PM, she thought. In the middle of the day? He is getting awfully brazen. She might have been trying to convince herself that it wasn’t doable, her mind raced with ideas to help her get away.
* * *
“Thanks,” Molly said to Miguel. “I just really needed to get away.”
“Get away?” Miguel asked.
It was two in the afternoon and they had just pulled into the large parking lot at Kripley Park. It was a large recreational area with a small playground for kids, a couple of perfectly manicured lawns for picnics and friendly games of soccer or football, and some small secluded lawns for a more private setting. There was also a large wooded area for off- road driving. It was a park that had a little bit of something for everyone – which is why it was always busy.
“I just needed to get away from the house and the things that remind me of Kevin.” She looked at her watch. It was just past two, which meant that she could go for a quick walk with Miguel, then ask him to leave and pick her back up at four.
“Are you meeting Miss Natalie here?” he asked.
“Later,” she said. Her eyes looked up into the rear view mirror. He was staring at her. He knew that she wasn’t meeting Nattie, she could see it in his eyes, but neither of them said anything. “You want to go for a quick walk with me before then?”
He nodded. “It’s a beautiful day,” he said. “That sounds like fun.” He hopped out of the driver’s seat and opened the door for Molly. She stretched her legs and arms out before taking his. “I’ll buy you an ice cream cone,” he said, motioning toward a small cart with a line that was three people deep. “As long as you don’t tell Mr. Tyler. He would be furious at me for buying you sweets.”
“It’ll be our secret,” she said. As they walked, her eyes looked over at him. He was staring straight ahead but he twitched as she did it, probably because he could feel her eyes on him.
“There are things that I am required to do,” he said. “I must make sure that you are safe at all times and I have to report back to Mr. Tyler when I see that you are doing something… unsafe or… something that may blemish his reputation. Therefore, if I don’t see something that may happen – if I don’t actually witness anything,” he continued. “Then I don’t have to report it.”
“Is that just a technicality?” Molly asked.
“Technically,” he replied with a cocky grin. “But it is a loophole that I keep to myself because I have grown to care about you and your happiness. And – since we are being honest, I don’t feel like you are happy with Mr. Tyler. Despite this, the health and safety of your baby requires that you stay with Mr. Tyler, yes?”
“You make it sound like a business arrangement.”
“When romantic relationships lose their romance, love, and affection, most of them turn into business arrangements. For security and appearances. It is a fact of life.”
They stood in line for ice cream. “Miss Molly, your best interests are the only interests that I worry about and concern myself with when I am at work. Rest assured that I don’t think there is anything to report back to Mr. Tyler. That being said, you won’t be able to go out for ice cream like this for much longer. You’re going to have to make a choice,” he said.
“You’re not actually talking about ice cream anymore, are you Miguel?”
“Think of this time as a free day for your diet. If you stick with this diet, you’re not going to get to have free days for much longer. So take advantage of this.”
“I just have to make sure not to gorge myself,” she said, her eyes scanning the menu on the side of the cart.
“I’m going to pretend that we’re talking about ice cream again,” Miguel said.
Molly laughed. “You do that.”
With ice cream cones in hand, they walked around the lake and talked about Molly’s anxiety about having children and Miguel’s experience as a father. They watched the kids playing on the playground and the birds dive bombing the water at the lake.
“Why can’t I just have a moment like this with Kevin?” she asked. “I mean, living in the city, we never had the chance but now that we have the opportunity to slow down since we live out in this small town…” Her voice trailed off for a moment. “And he’s not even taking advantage of it. Now only that but he just doesn’t have any time for me anymore. I don’t know what to do.”
“Do you love him?” asked Miguel.
The question surprised her. “What? Love Kevin? That’s a silly question.”
“I’ve seen this fantastic change in you during the past few weeks. You seem happy now. I’d hate to see how you will feel when you do have to choose. But I’ll tell you this. The sooner you make the decision, the easier it will be for you. Just think, if it is this hard for you now…”
Molly watched the kids play on the jungle gym. They laughed and chittered away. A bigger boy held a stick up in the air and was running across the bridge that connected two tall wooden towers. There was a gaggle of kids that were right behind him. Off in the distance someone shouted at them, “Don’t run on the bridge. You’ll trip and break your neck.” But that didn’t stop them. They just ignored the warning and continued to play. She wondered what her child would be like. If he – Kevin was so insistent that their baby would be a boy – was going to be like the leader with the stick, or one of the smaller followers behind him. Or if he would end up being like the quiet child reading at the base of one of the towers. He was almost sickly, with black plastic glasses and a blue superman shirt on. Molly was sure that he was out there because his parents wanted him to socialize more and get some sun. Yet, there he was, hiding in the small sanctuary – in the dark and away from the other kids. When Molly was a little girl, she wanted to be like him. Just tucked away with a book. Of course, she didn’t spend much time at parks.
She looked around, trying to find another kid like her and it didn’t take her long. There were two little girls in beautiful dresses, sitting on a picnic blanket next to their parents (who were sitting on a bench). There was a teenage girl – maybe college age – sitting with the girls. They were enjoying a thermos full of tea and some cookies. She assumed that the older girl was a nanny.
“Molly?” Miguel asked, snapping her back to reality.
“That was me,” she said, motioning toward the girls on the blanket. “I don’t want to raise my daughter like that. I mean, son. I don’t want to raise a son that doesn’t get to enjoy his childhood. She motioned toward the boys playing tag and the other boys that were pretending that their sticks were swords. “I want my son to have a happy childhood. Whatever that takes. That’s what I will choose.”
Miguel nodded. “You’ll be a good mom. I never doubted that,” he said. He cleared his throat. “I should head back to the car. Just send me a text message when you want me to pick you up.” He gave her a quick side hug and walked away without a second glance.
Molly pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and looked at the time. 2:57PM. She spotted a bench in front of the play area and had a seat, then pulled a book out of her purse.
“I said at the monkey bars,” whispered a voice behind her. Her eyes went from the book to Justin’s face. He gave her a cocky grin and plopped down on the bench. He placed his arm around her shoulders and looked down. “Good book?”
“Yes,” she said, snapping it shut. “Now what’s this about? In broad daylight even…”
“Well, I’m assuming that this type of thing isn’t something that you want to do under the cover of darkness.”
“What is it? Most of what we do is under the cover of darkness, after all.”
“It’s like you’re ashamed of me or something,” he said, placing his hand to his mouth in mock surprise.
Molly rolled her eyes. “Very funny. You’re the one that always sets up our meetings, you know that?”
“I don’t mind the idea of you setting up the next date.”
“Is that what this is?” she asked. “A date?”
“Well… Why do we have to go defining things? That just makes things awkward.” He let out an exacerbated sigh then shook his head. His arms moved up and over her head in a long stretch. Molly caught a whiff of his cologne. That woodsy smell brought her back. Cedarwood. That scent would forever be associated with this affair. Justin stood up and for the first time this afternoon Molly got a good look at what he was wearing: a pair of distressed denim jeans, and a form fitting, long- sleeved black and brown plaid shirt. Molly was so used to seeing him in just a pair of dark denim jeans and a t- shirt.
“You dressed up for me?” Molly said with a gleam in her eye. “Oh my, Mr. Shaw.”
“Don’t even,” he said, looking away.
Molly gasped, “Are you blushing?” She could feel the giggle rise from her chest but a squeal came out instead. She reached up and wrapped her arms around him. “You’re adorable.”
Justin hugged her back and kissed her forehead. “Come on, goofy.” He reached down and grabbed her hand. “No questions. Just come with me. I’m going to check something off of your list.”
“Wha-” she started but stopped herself. “You saw what was on my list…” Her voice started to rise up as if to ask and question but quickly stopped. “Oh,” she said. “You saw my list.”
“I remember a few things from when you first started writing it. This is one of the most important ones, I think.”
They walked around the park and then followed a narrow trail into the woods. Molly followed behind Justin as they trampled through the dirt path. Molly’s eyes widened as they got to the end of the trail, where it opened up into a parking area for 4-wheelers, ATVs, dirt bikes, and mountain bikes. “You want me to ride on one of these things?” Molly asked.
“Of course not.” He hopped onto a large blue ATV and motioned toward the red one that was parked next to him. “I expect you to drive one.”
“Oh, no, no, no…” She shook her head. Her hair flung back and forth. “Nope, nope.”
“It’s just an 4- wheeler. It’s like driving a motorcycle.”
She must have really looked frightened because Justin hopped off and took her hand. All right, how about you drive this one and I’ll sit behind you. That way, if you mess up, I can fix it for you.”
Molly just stared at the ATV. “Well…”
“All right,” he said. “I’ll take that as a yes. It’s not quite a car. Actually, it’s similar to a motorcycle, but you can at least feel what it’s like to drive a motorized vehicle.”
“Motorized…vehicle…” she repeated.
“Are you afraid? I thought that you just couldn’t drive because you never got the chance. I didn’t realize that it was because you were scared.” He put an arm around her.
“I’m not sc… I just. I’ve never driven anything before. I know how to ride a bicycle. I mean, that’s as close as I’ve ever gotten.”
He nodded. “Well, this is a good way to ease you into it. Come on.” He unlocked a trailer and pulled some gear out of it.
Molly put on a jacket and climbed onto the seat. Justin hopped on behind her. She slipped her head into a helmet and put on a pair of gloves.
“Can you hear me?” said Justin through the helmet.
Molly jumped. “What?” she said through a giggle. “Radios in the helmet? That’s so cool.”
He laughed. “It’s voice activated so all you have to do is talk and you can focus on the controls, okay?”
Molly nodded.
“All right, now make sure to keep your head up and look far enough ahead. If you focus too closely on what’s right in front of you, you’ll start weaving and swerving. Also relax your shoulders.” He put his hands on her shoulders and massaged them. “Grab onto the handles. Bend your elbows out a little and make sure that they’re away from your body.” He moved his hands from her shoulders down her back, and then around her waist.
“Hmm…” she said and sighed. Being so close to him felt amazing.
“ATVs are like motorcycles; they’re rider active which means that you have to shift the weight of your body to match the movements of the vehicle. So if you want your bike to move this way, you need to move that way,” he said, putting a little pressure on one side of her waist. She moved according to his hands.
“Oh, okay, I get it.”
“Okay, when we leave the parking lot, I’m going to have you hang a left. It’s a straight pass and there’s this easy trail out that way. We can practice all of the essentials out there. We’re going to do some straight road exercises and some stopping exercises, then we’ll go on a windier trail. Sound good?”
Molly nodded again.
“No reason to be nervous. I’m right here.” He hugged her before instructing her further.
They made their way through the trails, slowly at first but Justin patiently comforted her. It felt like she was learning how to walk again. They sputtered through some of the obstacles until Molly got the hang of things. Her heart raced as she led them around curves and over some easy hills. Justin was patient with her, which made her heart swell.
The ATV rolled back into the parking lot a couple of hours later. After parking it and turning the engine off, Molly took her helmet off and exhaled before flopping backward and leaning against Justin’s chest. He wrapped his arms around her.
“You wanna go again?” he asked with a wink. Molly laughed – but it sounded different this time around. It brought a smile to Justin’s face and made him laugh too. “I love your laugh. It’s been getting better and better, you know? More genuine. I love it.” He kissed her forehead.
“Are you kidding or can we really go again?”
“Of course, I cleared my schedule this afternoon and it doesn’t get dark until about nine.”
“Let me just text Miguel and let him know that I’m okay.” She unzipped her jacket and reached into the pocket of her sweater for her phone. As soon as she grabbed it her heart sank. 15 text messages from Miguel. She scanned through them. They didn’t start off panicky but as the messages went on, they began to feel a little more urgent. She quickly called him back.
Miguel picked up after the second ring. “Hey,” he said. “I don’t know where you are but we need to go. Mr. Tyler called and he said that there’s a gala tonight. He’s going to be at the house at five to get dressed and ready to go. We need to get you home and changed.”
“What?” Her heart raced. It was 4:45. They were more than fifteen minutes from home and she didn’t have enough time to shower and change. “I’m a mess. I can’t go to a gala tonight. Not at five. I told Kevin that I went out for a spa day today. It does not look like I’ve been to a spa.”
“Mud treatment?” Justin offered. Miguel snickered.
Molly shot him a dirty look and she would have done the same to Miguel if he was there. “That’s not funny,” she said into the phone. She turned around to Justin. “That’s not funny,” she repeated softly. Justin held up his arms in surrender.
“My house isn’t too far from here,” Miguel said. “We’ll take you to my house and get you ready. Maybe we can find a dress for you in my wife’s closet.”
“Really?” Molly asked. “Your wife won’t mind? I’ll give you a bonus. I’ll buy her a new dress.”
“It’s fine. It’s fine. Just get back to the parking lot so we can leave.”
Molly hung up and spun around in her seat. She kissed Justin hard. “I had such a fantastic time,” she said, beaming. “I’m sorry that I have to go.”
“It’s no problem.” He kissed her again before she dropped her gloves, helmet, and jacket with him.
Sprinting to the parking lot, her legs were a bit wobbly. It took her some time before she got used to the ground under her feet. She ran through the trail, leaving a small dust cloud behind her as her boots kicked up the dirt. The park smelled like a new place. Everything was earthy and the wind felt fantastic through her damp hair.
“Do I want to know?” Miguel asked. He was leaning against the car. His eyes looked her up and down. That’s when she looked down at herself and realized that her pant legs and shoes were ruined. “It’s been dry for days; why are you so muddy?”
“Apparently they water down the tracks for the A-”
Miguel held his hand up. “Is it dangerous? Because if it is, I shouldn’t hear about it or I’ll have to tell Mr. Tyler about it and we might not want that.”
Molly pursed her lips. “A-Team,” she finished.
“They water down the tracks for the A-Team?” Miguel repeated, opening the door to the backseat for her.
Molly hopped in. “Yeah, I met this guy who’s really into 80’s TV trivia. He was pretty boring and I’m pretty sure he’s not a serial killer.”
“Well, let’s hope not because then I’d have to tell Mr. Tyler about the serial killer that you talked to this afternoon.”
Molly cleared her throat and mimicked Kevin’s deep voice. “How could you endanger my son’s life like that?” They laughed but both of the chuckles felt forced. It was a little too real.
The house was small and crowded with a handful of kids running around and a very pregnant Mrs. Miguel standing in the doorway. “Miguel told me what happened!” she said. “Come in. Come in. It’s nice to finally meet you.” She gave Molly a warm and welcoming hug before showing her where the bathroom was. It was a beautiful home but not one that she normally would consider to be beautiful. Their home was lived in and welcoming, something that Molly’s house was lacking.
“There has to be some kind of balance,” she said as she washed her hair. She heard Miguel’s wife in the master bedroom.
“What size are you, deary?” she asked. “I have a few clothes out on the bed that might fit you. They’re not fancy or anything though.”
“Oh I’m sure they’re fine,” she said as she finished rinsing out the conditioner in her hair. She gave herself another once over, making sure to get the flecks of dirt underneath her fingernails. She wore gloves, how did the dirt get under her nails?
When she opened the door from the master bathroom into the master bedroom, she saw a few dresses and skirts laid out onto the bed. Miguel’s wife was standing in front of the closet, looking for something else to offer her. “I don’t have much,” she said, her eyes looking sorrowful. “He said that you were going to a gala. I have nothing that would fit for a gala. We don’t get invited to fancy things.”
“Oh, don’t worry. We’ll find something in here,” Molly said, her voice cheery. “It’s all in how you wear it anyway.” As she moved some of the dresses around she found a small, red cocktail dress that fit her perfectly. “Would you mind if I made some alterations? I can get it fixed after the gala or I can buy you a whole new dress.”
“Don’t worry about it,” she replied. “I haven’t worn that dress in forever anyway.”
Molly took a pair of scissors and a seam ripper to the dress, taking off a large fabric rose and both straps. She then took the extra fabric that wrapped around the chest and unstitched a portion of it, effectively making it into one gigantic strap that crossed her chest and hung on the opposite shoulder like an asymmetrical strap dress. She added a pair of black pumps with an ankle strap, a black shawl (instead of a coat – which fit perfectly since it was still warm out), and a white decorative belt that she stole from a different dress, just to add a colorful pop to her ensemble.
“Oh, you look gorgeous,” his wife said with a giggle. “I never looked that good in that dress. I can’t believe what you turned it into.”
“I’m sure you looked even better than me. The same clothes always looks a little different when someone else is wearing it.” She hugged her tightly then looked down at her stomach. “Do you mind?” she asked.
She shook her head. Molly placed her hand on his wife’s stomach and rubbed it gently. Molly sighed. “I’ll have one of these soon,” she said.
“Are you disappointed?”
“No, actually. I was scared at first. Our baby’s not planned. But the more I think about it, the happier I am. I want to give this baby the world. Maybe he’s what I’ve been missing my whole life.”
“How do you know the baby is a boy? You don’t look far enough along to know that yet,” she said, placing her hand on Molly’s stomach.
“Kevin,” she said. “Kevin says that he’s a boy.”
“Well, if you ask me, that Kevin doesn’t seem to know much about you. And if he doesn’t know you, how is he supposed to know anything about that baby that’s growing inside you? Real fathers know how to take care of their wives – baby or no baby.”
Molly opened her mouth but nothing came out. She looked into her eyes and smiled. “Yeah,” she said. “I guess you’re right.”
There was a knock on the door. “You ready?” asked Miguel. “We’re already late.”
“Yeah, I’m ready,” Molly said. She gave his wife one more hug before opening the door. “Let’s go to the gala!”