I expected to feel better after Billy left. I’d thought that making him leave would make me feel relieved, or maybe even a little proud. I’m being a good mother, I thought as I peered into Jacob’s room and watched my son sleep. Why doesn’t it feel more rewarding to have made the right choice?

The rest of the week passed in a blur. I barely even saw my son or Elisabeth – I was working double shifts at The Sleeping Dog, and while the money felt good in my pocket, I didn’t feel great about ignoring Jacob. Elisabeth assured me that he was doing fine.

I was just glad he hadn’t been asking too many questions about Mommy’s “friend” Billy.

The next Monday, I went into work early to clean. The bar had hosted a rowdy frat party the night before, and the whole place smelled like a sewer full of stale beer and testosterone. Thinking of frat boys inevitably made me think of Billy. As I cleaned, I bit my lip and wondered if any of the boys who had been at the party last night would turn out to be decent guys. Probably not, I thought cynically as I pushed a mop across the floor. That would be a complete and utter shock.

The door banged open. I groaned, keeping my eyes focused on the soapy floor.

“We’re not open yet!” I called over my shoulder. “Come back after noon!”

To my supreme irritation, heavy footsteps crossed the floor.

“I said we’re closed!” I yelled. “Do I have to fucking say it again?”

There was a masculine chuckle, then a heavy hand on my shoulder. I cried out in surprise. When I whirled around, I was standing face to face with Billy Lessner.

“I know y’all are closed,” Billy said. He smirked. “I came to talk to you, Alex. Got five minutes?”

My cheeks flamed bright red and I tried to scowl but staring into Billy’s gorgeous sapphire eyes made that impossible. My lips were frozen in a dazed half-smile, a smile that completely betrayed how I really felt about this man.

“I don’t have five,” I managed to say.

“What about two and a half?” Billy gave me a pleading look that tugged at my heart. “Come on, Alex. Please hear me out.”

I sighed. “What?”

Billy took my hand and led me away from the mop and bucket. We walked over to the bar and he stared deeply into my eyes. I struggled to stay present – whenever he looked at me like that, it was difficult to keep from swooning.

“First of all,” Billy said. “These are for you.” He pushed a bouquet across the counter – sunflowers and white roses. “And this is for Jacob,” Billy added. He handed me a small package. “For his birthday – you don’t have to give it to him now.”

I frowned. “What are you doing here?”

Billy sighed. “I want to talk about us, Alex,” he said softly. “I want to know why you keep goin’ so hot and then so cold. What’s goin’ on in that pretty head of yours?”

I licked my lips and stared at him, determined to keep my resolve.

“I can’t be in a relationship with you,” I said tartly. “Right now, my priority is taking care of my son. Jacob is my whole world, and I can’t screw around with random guys because he needs me too much.”

“I wasn’t ever asking you to ignore your son,” Billy said. “I know that Jacob will always come first. Hell, I wouldn’t respect you as much as I do if you felt different. You’re a great mom, Alex. Don’t beat yourself up for having fun.”

“That’s just it,” I said. “I can’t have fun, Billy.”

“Why not?” Billy raised an eyebrow. “Fun is what life is about, Alex.”

I shook my head. “Not when you have a toddler,” I snapped. “I made the decision to become a mother, and I have to do this right. Jacob is my whole world.”

“Jacob’s a good kid.”

“He is,” I said, nodding. “And he really liked you. And what the fuck am I supposed to do when you break my heart and disappear and then Jacob keeps asking about you? How am I supposed to handle that? How can I explain to him that you’d rather be off gambling and drinking and tomcatting around with your pack of friends?”

Billy’s face went white. He clenched his jaw and nodded slowly. “Okay, Alex,” he said quietly. “If that’s how you feel.” He nodded once more before turning on his heel and striding out of The Sleeping Dog.

I felt a lump form in my throat as I watched him go. I did the right thing, I thought, trying to buoy myself up. I did the right thing, and I’m sure I’ll feel better soon.

--

The rest of the day was hell. The bar was even more crowded than usual – it was some absurd university holiday, which meant guys calling for trays of shots by two in the afternoon. By the time my shift was over at seven-thirty, I felt like I was about to die on my feet.

As I tossed my apron into the wash, I spotted the bouquet and the small wrapped present next to my purse. A numb feeling spread through my veins and I shivered. I can’t give this to Jacob, I realized as I stared down at the toy. He’d ask too many questions. Finally, I tucked it into my bag and slipped out the back door.

“Alex.”

I glanced up. Billy was waiting outside, leaning against my car. He gave me a small smile. The numb feeling turned to heartbreak, and for a horrible moment, I thought I was going to cry.

“Please get away from my car,” I said stiffly. “I need to go home now. Elisabeth is expecting me.”

I walked past Billy, brushing his shoulder with mine. He reached down and wrapped his fingers around my wrist, pulling me close.

“Alex, I’m falling in love with you,” Billy said in a low, husky voice. “And I know you’re pushing me away because you’re afraid of getting hurt.”

Tears welled up in my eyes and I blinked them away before Billy could see.

“Alex, it’s okay,” Billy said gently. He cupped my chin with one hand and tilted my face up so that I was gazing right into his eyes.

“It’s not,” I said, wiping my eyes. “It’s not okay, Billy. I can’t be involved with you. I can’t risk getting heartbroken and hurting my son.”

“I’ll give up anything that makes you uncomfortable,” Billy said. “Gambling? Done. No more of that. Drinking? Done, you want me to go to Alcoholics Anonymous? I’ll do it, Alex.”

I stared at him. “You can’t be serious,” I whispered. “We barely know each other.”

“Alex, I know that if I let you walk out of my life, I’ll regret it forever,” Billy said tenderly. “I love you. And if that means marriage and adopting Jacob, then I’m in. You’re what I want. Jacob is what I want. I want the package deal – both of you, forever.”

Tears dripped down my cheek and I couldn’t avoid sobbing any longer. Before I knew it, Billy wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his chest.

“I love you, Alex,” Billy whispered into my hair. “I promise I always will. Just please, don’t push me out. Not if you feel the same way.”

I sobbed harder, sniffling and whimpering and staining Billy’s shirt with my tears.

“Do you feel the same way, Alex?” Billy asked softly. “Tell me, please.”

I looked up at him and nodded. “I love you, too,” I whispered.

Billy pulled me close and crushed my body to his. When our lips met, I could practically hear fireworks exploding in my brain. Finally, I surrendered to his kisses, melting in his arms and going weak in the knees.

“I love you, Alex,” Billy whispered hotly. “I promise, you’ll never regret taking a chance on me like this.”

“Don’t make me regret this,” I whispered back.

Billy kissed me deeply. “I won’t,” he said. “I promise, Alex.”