“The…” Jacob trailed off, looking up at me for guidance.

“Nope,” I said shaking my head from side to side. “Not gonna help you out this time.”

Jacob frowned. “Mommy, this is hard,” he said slowly. “I can’t.”

“Don’t ever say that,” I replied, glancing into my son’s blue eyes. “You can. You just need to try.”

Jacob wriggled uncomfortably on my lap. “Okay, Mommy,” he said seriously. Gripping the big cardboard book, he opened to the first page.

“Go on, sweetie, whenever you’re ready,” I said.

Jacob squirmed again and made a frustrated noise under his breath. “The…cat…has…a…fi…fi…”

“Fish,” I said, unable to help myself.

Jacob grinned. “We read,” he said, holding the book in the air.

“You are going to be the star of your class next year,” I said. “Aren’t you excited to start school?”

Jacob made a face. “I miss Aunt Lisbeth,” he said slowly. “When is she coming over?”

I laughed. “First you miss Mommy during the week, and when I’m home, you miss Aunt Lisbeth.”

Jacob dropped the book on the ground and tunneled in my arms, leaning against my chest. The weight of my son in my lap was warm and comforting, and I held him tightly for a moment as we rocked back and forth.

“Aunt Lisbeth is actually coming over later,” I said. “I thought we could have dinner with her. Wouldn’t that be nice? You’ll get to show off your new cup,” I added. Jacob had recently graduated from a sippy cup to a regular cup with no lid, and while he usually made a mess, I couldn’t have been prouder.

It was so hard to realize how quickly my little boy was growing up. Sometimes, it felt like just yesterday that I’d given birth to Jacob. I’d been terrified of labor and delivery, but mine had been quick – just four hours, with no epidural or Pitocin needed. Thinking back, it didn’t even seem that painful. Getting to hold my son in my arms at first had been the most perfect moment of my life, and it was hard for me to believe that my sweet baby boy was turning into a fully functioning child.

“Mommy,” Jacob said suddenly. “Don’t be sad.”

“What?” I brushed his hair back from his forehead. “I’m not sad, sweetie. Why would you think that?”

Jacob looked up at me, his blue eyes wide. “Because there’s no Daddy,” he said slowly. He pointed down at the book on the floor. “Mr. Cat has a daddy,” he said.

I sighed. We’d skirted around this moment before, but I was starting to realize the inevitability of having to explain to Jacob that it was really just the two of us, now and forever.

“I’m very happy, sweetie,” I said, rocking Jacob back and forth. “And we’re great, just the two of us. We’re the Mommy and Jacob Team, aren’t we?”

Jacob made a noise and burrowed his face in my armpit. Just as I was about to open my mouth, the doorbell rang and Jacob leapt from my lap like it was on fire.

“Aunt Lisbeth!” Jacob cheered. “Mommy, she’s here!”

I sighed as I climbed to my feet. I was admittedly relieved that I wouldn’t have to go into further detail about my situation as a single mom, but I knew the time was coming where I wouldn’t be able to avoid explaining the truth.

Elisabeth looked happier than usual. She leaned into a hug, then squatted down to greet Jacob. When she stood up, she passed me a paper grocery bag that smelled delicious.

“Oh my god,” I moaned softly, inhaling the rich scent of olive tapenade and fresh French bread. “This smells incredible, where did you get this?”

“There’s a new farmer’s market by the art school,” she said. “I was applying for a job there and I stopped by on the way home.” Elisabeth smirked. “I thought it would go well with this,” she added, pulling a bottle of red wine out from behind her back.

“Have I mentioned lately that I love the way you think?”

Elisabeth and I giggled together as we walked into the kitchen with Jacob at our heels.

“So,” Elisabeth said, grabbing a pot from the cabinet and putting it on the stove. “How was your week?”

I reached for the corkscrew and screwed open the bottle of wine, gritting my teeth as I pulled out the cork.

“This one’s tough,” I complained as I twisted my arm through the air. “Is it glued in?”

“It better not be,” Elisabeth said, giggling. “I need a glass of wine more than anything right now. And what kind of bartender are you, anyway?”

I laughed. “Yeah, point taken.” Grunting again, I twisted my arm and finally the cork popped free. The rich, fruity aroma of Shiraz filled my nose and I inhaled, sighing deeply. I poured glasses for Elisabeth and myself then set the wine down and poured a glass of juice for Jacob.

Elisabeth eyed Jacob and giggled. “He’s going to be so good with girls some day,” she commented. “Spending all this time around Mommy and Aunt Lisbeth.”

Jacob wrinkled his nose. “I hate girls,” he said. He stuck out his tongue. “They’re yucky.”

“Please don’t ever stop thinking that,” I whispered comically to Elisabeth. “I don’t think I can handle the idea of you dating!”

“Girls are yucky, girls are yucky,” Jacob said under his breath in a singsong voice.

Elisabeth raised an eyebrow. “Maybe when you turn four, you’ll change your mind.”

I glared at her. “Don’t even think about it, sweetie,” I called to Jacob. “Mommy is just fine if you spend your whole life thinking girls are gross!”

“That reminds me,” Elisabeth said. “Did you make any decisions about Jacob’s party yet?”

I groaned and put a hand to my forehead. “No,” I said. “He can’t decide whether he wants it to be train-themed or pirate-themed, and it changes every day. God, that reminds me – I need to make a guest list and start getting everyone to confirm whether or not they can come.”

Elisabeth nodded. “Just know I’ll be on hand to help out that day,” she said. “I know a bunch of toddlers running around can be exhausting.”

“No girls!” Jacob called suddenly. “No girls allowed!”

I burst out laughing and after a second, Elisabeth joined in.

Jacob made another face and sat down in his chair, staring intently at his juice and swinging his legs back and forth. Reaching into a cabinet, I grabbed his coloring books and water pens. After setting them down on the table in front of Jacob with a cup of water, I took a long swallow of wine.

“This is good,” I said, savoring the taste of black cherry and wood. “I haven’t had a glass of wine in like, two weeks.”

“Two days for me,” Elisabeth said. “Even though it feels like two months.”

“Oh, right,” I said, winking at her. “I forgot! You had that date on Thursday night. How did it go?”

Elisabeth rolled her eyes and made a show of finishing the rest of her wine at once. I laughed out loud as I refilled her glass. Elisabeth settled in her chair, looking smug.

“It was horrible from the start,” she said. “I should have known when he wanted to take me out on a Thursday, and not a Friday or Saturday. Like, duh, man, you don’t need to be so obvious – I know I’m your backup girl.”

“Oh, that’s not true,” I said, taking another sip of wine. “That doesn’t mean anything now. Everyone has such weird work schedules.”

“He’s an accountant,” Elisabeth said dryly.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, right?” Elisabeth rolled her eyes. “And like, I don’t know. I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help comparing like, every man I meet to Michael.”

I wrinkled my nose. “He’s terrible,” I said. “You’re better off being divorced.”

“I know,” Elisabeth said. “Trust me, it’s not that. It’s just, like, oh, I don’t know. Even though he wasn’t a great man, he was still able to prioritize me. And we fought all the time because he was a dick, but he was still kind of respectful when push came to shove.”

I threw a warning glance at Jacob, hoping he hadn’t heard the word ‘dick.’

Elisabeth blushed and clapped a hand to her mouth. “Oh, god,” she said. “Sorry. This is why I can’t talk about men – you know how I get worked up.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I said as I waved a hand through the air. “Trust me, I slip up all the time.” I glanced at Jacob, who was still fully immersed in his coloring book. “It doesn’t really matter that much.”

Elisabeth shrugged. “So,” she said. “I don’t think I’ll be going out with him again. What about you?”

For some reason, Billy’s face popped into my mind. I blushed.

“Oh, Alex,” Elisabeth said, raising her eyebrow. “That’s a new look. You did meet someone!”

“I didn’t,” I said sourly. “This cocky guy came into my work, looking for the owner.” I rolled my eyes and lowered my voice so Jacob wouldn’t hear. “He was such an asshole.”

Elisabeth laughed. “But he was cute,” she said.

I frowned. “How do you know?”

Elisabeth sighed. “Because you’re blushing,” she said, grinning at me. “I can read that from a mile away. You like him. You think he’s sexy.”

I sighed. “Does it matter?”

“Yeah,” Elisabeth said. “You need to have fun once in a while, Alex. You can’t stay single forever.”

I looked at Jacob. “Maybe not,” I said slowly. “But now isn’t the time for me to date anyone, Elisabeth. And I think you know that.”

“Definitely not,” I said, pouring myself a glass of wine.

“Mommy,” Jacob said suddenly, looking up.

“What, sweetie?” I smiled, desperately hoping I wasn’t about to get a question involving what ‘sexy’ meant.

Jacob pointed at the stove and giggled. The water for the pasta was boiling over, and I leapt out of my chair, forgetting all about Billy and that cocky smirk of his.