I’m standing at the threshold to Jace’s apartment, clutching at his hand, practically shaking with desire. After Audrey assured me she was totally fine with me blowing her off, we’d left the bar in a chorus of jokes at our expense.

Normally, I hate being the butt of people’s jokes, but I find I don’t care right now. Because I am lovesick, or at least lustsick, over Jace. This man that’s invaded my life and made me feel like I’m the only woman in the world for him.

He pulls me into his place and turns to face me. “Wine?”

I shake my head, grab a fistful of his shirt and tug.

He steps closer, grinning, sliding his hands on the curve of my hips. “Sex?”

“What do you think?” I kiss him and it’s an instant inferno.

We stumble into his living room, our mouths hot and frantic, our hands everywhere.

We’re mad with desire, and there’s no leisure in us.

I’ve already seen every inch of his spectacular body. Already tasted him. Licked him. Kissed him. Scraped my nails down his skin. I’ve spent hours on him, and now I’m broken and all I can think about is his cock driving hard and deep inside me.

We kick off our shoes.

He rips my shirt down my arms, sending buttons flying, before tossing it to the floor as he pulls his shirt over his head.

The only sound in the room is the rustle of the clothes we shed and our harsh, labored breathing.

We tumble to the couch and I’m already lifting my hips so he can slide my skirt down my legs.

His gaze roams over me, hungry. He flicks the clasp of my bra with his thumb and forefinger, peeling away the cups before covering my nipple with his mouth.

I bow up, crying out as he sucks at the hard bud that has a direct line of communication to my aching core. While his tongue laves, he tugs and pulls at my other breast until a wicked pulse throbs in my body.

“Jace. Please, Jace.” I arch, seeking friction. “I want you so much.”

He releases me, and his mouth skims down my body, over my stomach. His tongue traces a path before he nips at my hip bone. He goes farther, and his mouth covers my pussy, licking over my clit in that way he has.

I tangle my hands in his hair, holding him right where I need him the most, moving into his mouth because I can’t help myself.

When my body begins to quake I yell out, “Stop. God, stop.”

He puts a forearm across my hips and holds me captive as his mouth drives me out of my mind.

My thighs tremble around his head. “Stop. Please. I want…” I trail off as the first swell of an impending orgasm has me jerking. I manage to pant out. “You…inside. Want.”

He lifts his head, and his eyes blaze like a cat, and I’ve never seen anything so beautiful as the sight of him between my legs, wearing an expression that promises he’s going to consume me. He licks my clit and says, “You want to come with me inside you?”

How can he even talk? I nod.

His arm falls away, and he rises from the couch, slowly unbuckling his belt before his zipper slides down. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a condom before he shucks off his jeans, taking his underwear along with them. I reach for his cock, circling his girth and running my hand up and down the length of him.

His hips buck and he groans, his head falling back as I stroke him.

I’m captivated as the cords in his neck flex in accordance with my movements. Addicted to the sight of him, I go faster, squeeze tighter until he’s gasping for air.

His hand covers mine and his eyes open. “Later.”

“Yes.” I release him and he falls between my legs. He rips off the condom and rolls it down his shaft, and I rise up to meet him.

I stare down at us.

He puts his hand on the couch and I shake my head. “You’re blocking my view.”

He smiles, kissing me before he says, “It’s like that, is it?”

I meet his gaze. “I want to watch everything.”

He pushes my damp hair from my cheek. “Anything for you, Fleur.”

I arch. “Please take me.”

He moves to his knees, pulling my splayed thighs over his own. He grips his cock and lines up to enter me. I rise to my elbows and look down. I don’t know where this desire comes from, and it almost embarrasses me, but I want it too much to stop.

I want to witness his claiming of me.

Want to know exactly what he looks like sliding into me for the first time.

I want to see us joined, cementing how I feel bound to him mentally and emotionally.

Of course, I can’t say any of that, because it’s crazy even to think it. All I can do is watch in silence as he takes me.

Slowly, so excruciatingly slow, he pushes into me. Just the head, just the barest hint, before he pulls out and starts again.

Inch by inch.

As though he has all the time in the world.

And I watch, transfixed. Hypnotized by the very sight of us coming together.

I resist the urge to lift up, to hurry along so that I can feel him pound into me. Because I know that’s how it will be. The second he’s inside me fully there’s no question in my mind that lust and passion will overtake us and we’ll go at it like wild beasts finally let off the leash.

But right now, I want to savor the stillness of this moment.

The way it feels…almost holy.

I’m giving it the reverence it deserves. And I’m not looking away.

Shallow, methodical strokes.

Until he finally fills me to the hilt.

When he’s there, completely joined with me, he doesn’t move. He just stays there, waiting while my body stretches to accommodate him.

I stare at our joining, overcome by the rightness of it, before I let my head fall back. My lashes raise and I meet his gaze. The expression there, the fire, I can’t even describe it.

I sink back onto the couch and tilt my hips.

He presses back. Slowly, circling his hips so he grinds against me. He shakes his head. “That’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

I smile, gasping as he catches a particularly good spot. “That’s why I wanted to watch.”

“No. You watching, your expression.” He leans down and kisses me before saying against my lips, “I’m never going to forget it, Fleur.”

Neither will I. My throat grows tight with unexpressed emotion. With all the things I can’t say because it’s too soon, and I’m practical, not insane.

He continues his mad, torturous dance and I move right along with him.

The air grows thick and humid.

As our rhythm turns from savoring to consuming.

He thrusts in earnest.

I cry out.

He growls low in his throat.

I dig my nails into his skin, urging him closer.

I want closer. I need him to seep into me. My neck arches. “Harder.”

He pounds into me, his hips pumping in time with my own.

We move together.

The couch strains under our weight, creaking.

He whispers in my ear, “Your cunt is heaven.”

I moan, as his chest abrades my nipples, creating the most delicious sensation. Until this moment, I never really understood the difference between sex and fucking but I do now.

Because Jace is definitely fucking me.

I want to say stuff, things I’ve never said before. I want to be an active participant instead of a bystander. “Nothing has ever felt this good.”

“Yes.” He thrusts harder. “I don’t want it to end.”

“Me either.” The climax threatens. “But…god…I’m so close.”

“Me too, baby.” He bites my neck.

The sound of baby from his lips is the best thing I’ve ever heard. I cry out as he hits a spot deep inside me. “I’m going to come.”

“Yes, let me feel it.” He increases his pace.

Everything turns manic and ruthless and feral.

My body quickens.

He groans. “Come for me, Fleur.”

And I do, I tumble over the edge, calling his name over and over again as the orgasm crashes through me in endless waves of trembling, blinding pleasure.

The climax goes on and on as he shudders and lets go, coming deep inside me.

Breath still hard pants, aftershocks race through me as he collapses on top of me.

I wrap my arms around him, holding him tight, because I don’t want to let him go.

I don’t know how long we stay like that, but long enough for our breathing to return to normal and the sweat on our skin to cool. It’s intimate and scary, but too glorious to move away from.

Finally he rises up and pushes my hair back before looking down at me. “You’ve ruined me.”

Pleasure so great it might burst from my chest, fills me. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” He laughs, shaking his head. “You’re perfect.”

“No I’m not.” I smile, shrugging my shoulder a little. “Maybe I’m just perfect for you.”

“There’s no maybe about it.” His expression turns serious. “It’s crazy, but…” he trails off.

My heart starts to pound. “What?”

“Nothing. I’m being insane.”

Is it possible he feels as addicted as I do? That he’s just as crazy about me as I am about him? I squeeze him with my thighs. “Tell me. Please.”

He rubs his thumb over my bottom lip. “I love the way please sounds on your lips.”

I nip the pad with my teeth. “I can’t be distracted.”

“No?”

I shake my head. “No.”

He pulls out of me and moves to the side, putting his hand over my stomach. His palm rubs over my skin, and goose bumps rise up. He leans down and licks my beaded nipple. “That’s a pretty sight.”

“Jace…tell me.”

He sighs and meets my eyes. “I’m being crazy.”

“So.” I need to know what he was going to say before he stopped himself.

He shrugs. “I think you might be it for me.” As soon as the words are out of his mouth he stops breathing, waiting for me to say something caustic.

But I wouldn’t dare, because it’s exactly what I want. What I hoped for. What I’ve been too scared to admit, even to myself. I reach up and cup his cheek. “I think you might be it for me too.”

He blows out a breath and relief fills his features. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He takes my hand and raises it to his lips. “You want to go to bed?”

“Definitely.”

Naked, we get up, walk down the hallway and into his bedroom, where we tumble down to the mattress and I set about showing him exactly how much I mean it.

---

“So…” Christopher says with a sly grin on his face. “Fleur, huh?”

We’re sitting in the residents lounge at the hospital and it’s taken Christopher all of thirty seconds to ask me about Fleur.

I shrug, like it’s no big deal. Like this woman hasn’t thrown my life for a loop and I haven’t fallen down the rabbit’s hole due to her. Because holy shit am I smitten. I might even be in love, although there’s no way I’m admitting that, even to myself. After we’d gotten over our prickly, antagonistic beginnings it’s been nothing but smooth sailing.

She’s like the perfect woman for me.

We’re both workaholics. Both have strange hours. Both have dry, cutting senses of humor. Have the same taste in mindless movies. Have read the same books, have the same politics. The list just goes on and on.

It’s like Fleur LaChance was custom made for me.

We’ve been sleeping together for two weeks and spending all our free time together and I’m pretty sure she’s as addicted to me as I am to her.

Christopher raises a brow. “Are you going to be tight lipped about it?”

“I’m not sure what you’d like me to say.” I rub a hand over my stubbled jaw. “I think we’re getting too old for details.”

He laughs. “No, we’re not. But it’s true what they say, the more the girl matters, the less you’re inclined to talk about having sex with her.”

“True.” As my friends dropped like flies into their relationships, they’d pretty much stopped swapping crazy sex stories. Although, I’d secretly assumed it was because the sex was probably on the tame side, but after two weeks with Fleur I know that’s not the case.

The sex was so crazy, so intense, it was almost frightening. I find myself increasingly depraved, saying and doing all matter of things to her I’d never thought much about until now. I’ve fucked her everywhere I could. Late at night on her desk. At the restaurant. In the car in the parking lot. It was ridiculous. She’s like an ache. An itch I can’t quite scratch.

Christopher nods. “It’s going well, I take it?”

I shake my head and blow out a breath. “Yeah, it is. Too well.”

“What do you mean?”

I glance up at the clock. I’ve got ten minutes before I have to make rounds. Out of the group, Christopher is my closest friend, just like Ted and X are closest to each other. Shelly belongs to all of us, well, if I don’t include Ted. We are all close, and we’d all do anything for each other, but when I need to talk, Christopher is who I go to. I furrow my brow. “Isn’t it too soon to be this crazy about her?”

He shakes his head. “I’m not the best one to talk. I was crazy about Ashley the second I laid eyes on her. I mean, sure I didn’t know her then. But when I looked at her, she was someone I had to discover. When I ran into her at the conference, as crazy as it sounds, by the end of the trip I was hooked on her and had no intention of letting her go. So to me, three weeks sounds like an eternity.”

“Yeah, but there’s so much that can go wrong.” My parents had a long courtship that took place over many years. They always stressed the prudence of taking your time, to minimize mistakes you might make along the way. Not that mistakes are avoidable, because they aren’t, but to be smart about them.

“That hasn’t been my experience, but I see your point.” Christopher smiles. “I haven’t regretted one thing about Ashley, not even for a second. Not when we argue, or she’s being unreasonable, or when I need time away from her. She’s my constant.”

I cast a sideways glance at him. “Are you going to marry her?”

“Fuck yes.”

I laugh. “What are you waiting for?”

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’ll ask her as soon as residency is over. I want to be settled before I do. Since Ashley’s older than me, we’ll probably try to start having kids as soon as we’re married and before she moves too far into high risk.” He comes from a family of prestigious doctors, who have tons of connections, and he’s already been offered a mid-six figure position at one of the best orthopedic practices in Chicago. His future is set.

It’s hard to believe we’re getting to the age where we’re starting to talk about having kids. I have no idea how that happened. When you start med school it seems endless, like there will never be a time when you’re not in school, or residency. That your life will never actually start, but here we are. “I’m happy for you guys.”

He gives me a pointed glance. “Don’t try and distract me away from the conversation at hand.”

I shake my head. “I don’t even know what to say. I’m crazy about her.”

“I can tell.”

“That’s all I know right now.”

“Fair enough.”

Not wanting to talk about it anymore, I scoop up my phone and start scrolling through text messages. There’s one from Fleur. What time are you going to be done with work? It’s been a hellish day and all I want is to see you.

A wide grin spreads over my lips. I can get to your place by six thirty. Is that good?”

Thirty seconds later she texts back. Perfect. Can we just stay in?

Do you need me to tickle your back? She loves when I run my fingers over her bare skin, light and teasing. Like she’s a cat, she begs me to do it all the time, pushing into me, guiding my hands.

I oblige, of course, I like her greedy.

My phone beeps. Yes, please. All that’s getting me through this day is the vision of my head on your lap.

I’m sorry you’ve had a bad day, red. I promise I’ll make it better.

You always do. See you soon.

The rush of pleasure I get over the prospect of seeing her later is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. It’s excitement and contentment, lust and satisfaction all rolled into one. She makes me simultaneously peaceful and engaged. It’s hard to explain, but I feel better than I’ve felt in as long as I can remember.

Absentminded, I turn my attention to my voicemail that’s built up during my last surgery, making mental notes of things I need to follow up on.

A male voice comes over the line and as I listen to the message, I go hot, then cold all over.

My stomach twists.

The message ends, and I slowly put down the phone.

I can’t fucking believe this. All my peace drains away, replaced by anxiety and conflict.

“What happened? Your face drained of all color.” Christopher’s voice shakes me from my thoughts and I’m surprised to find him still sitting across from me.

I shake my head, unable to say the words.

“What’s wrong?” he asks again.

This is both a dream come true and my worst nightmare. I look at my best friend and finally manage to formulate the words. “I got a fellowship.”

The fantasy I never thought would happen in a million years has come true. I’d been shocked when I’d even gotten an interview, and been so sure it would never happen, I didn’t even tell my friends about it.

I can’t fucking believe it. They’d chosen me, and now all I can think about is Fleur.

Christopher speaks, and it takes me a second to focus on him. He’s grinning. Why is he grinning? “That’s fantastic, I know the one at Northwestern didn’t pan out, but now you’ll be at University of Chicago with Shelly.”

No, he doesn’t understand. Doesn’t understand how this has now taken on a whole new meaning. I shake my head. “No, I never said anything because I never thought it would happen. I got a fellowship at Johns Hopkins.”

Understanding dawns on his face, and his happy expression is replaced by a frown. Slowly he says, “In Maryland.”

I rake my hand through my hair. “Yeah, in Maryland.”

Mother fucker.