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Forgotten Silence: Grey Wolves Novella by Quinn Loftis (9)

Chapter Nine

“Every now and then, we have these moments in life when we know exactly what we are supposed to be doing. It’s like every little thing—our breathing, our movements, our thoughts and actions, everything—just makes sense. We are where we are supposed to be, doing exactly what we are supposed to be doing, with exactly whom we are supposed to be doing it with.” ~Costin

Walking through the tree the second time didn’t seem to Sally quite as exciting as it had been the first time. But then, the first time she hadn’t been going into the sprite realm to meet the sprite queen and to have her head examined by some light sprites. She snorted to herself. Light sprites.

“Are you so stressed that everything is amusing to you?” her mate asked through their bond.

“Pretty much.”

“If it makes you feel any better, you’re sexy as hell.”

“Even stressed and full of darkness?”

Costin chuckled. “Beautiful, if full of darkness gets me another night like last night, I say we just tell the light sprites to take a hike.”

Hiking light sprites. Sally bit her lip to keep from laughing as the stepped out of the tree and into the forest of the sprite realm. Her mom and dad had already crossed through and were waiting on them.

“Everything okay?” her dad asked.

Sally couldn’t even make eye contact with her dad after her mate’s mental comment. “Everything’s great, dad.”

“Where’s the palace?” Costin asked.

Cindy held up her hand, asking for them to wait. Then, out of nowhere, or at least it seemed like that to Sally, there was a small castle about a hundred yards away.

“Right there,” Cindy said with a sly grin.

“Okay, so that just happened, right?” Costin asked her.

Sally nodded. “Totally happened, babe. No castle and then, boom, castle.”

Costin gave a thumbs-up. “As long as I’m not the only one hallucinating, then I’m good.”

They walked in silence. Costin’s large hand wrapped around hers while Chris held Cindy’s. Sally felt almost as though she were being led to the gallows. She just needed that nifty background music indicating her doom was near.

“You’re being a bit dramatic this morning,” Costin whispered to her.

“You were a bit dramatic last night, but you didn’t hear me complaining, so stick a sock in it, fluffy.”

Costin made claw-like motions at her and hissed like a cat.

“That’s disturbing. Let me video it so I can send it to Jen and Jacque. Otherwise, never do it again,” Sally said as she started to pull her phone from her back pocket.

“I’ll let you video me, if you let me video

“NOPE.” Sally cut him off quickly and turned to her mom. “So, Mom, how’s this show going to go down?”

They were entering the large door when her mom started to answer but was stopped by the sound of several gasps. Sally looked up as they walked into the castle and couldn’t stop the eye roll. There were a handful of women, no doubt sprites, milling about the large foyer all staring … at Costin.

“Did they seriously just gasp?” her dad asked.

Sally shrugged. “At least they aren’t asking for his autograph, pictures, or to have his babies.”

“Does that really happen?”

Costin winked at her dad. “Every. Single. Day.” Then he pointed to Sally. “She begs me for them.”

Sally started to respond but froze when a beautiful woman dressed in a shimmering dark gown walked down the middle of the corridor. The women parted for her but continued to stare at the guests.

Cindy bowed her head. “My queen.” Her father did the same.

“Welcome back, Cindy.” The queen’s voice was soft but confident. “Introduce me, please.”

“This is my mate, Chris Morgan.”

“Your majesty,” her dad said with a slight bow.

“I am Queen Andora, Chris Morgan, of the humans. You have cared for Cindira well. I thank you.”

“It has been an honor,” he said. “And an honor to meet you as well.”

“This is my daughter, Sally, and her mate, Costin, of the Serbia wolf pack,” Cindy continued.

Andora walked over to them and eyed them critically.

“It is an honor to meet you, your highness,” Costin said and took her hand, pressing a kiss to the top of it. He let it go and then pressed the palm of his hand to Sally’s back. “I’m most thankful that you’ve allowed my mate, and myself, entrance into your realm.”

“We are honored to have you,” she said to him and then looked at Sally again. “You have had a rough time recently. Tell me, how are you feeling?”

“I am alright, your highness,” Sally said. “Tired, but alright.”

“May I?” Queen Andora lifted her hand to press it to her forehead.

Sally nodded. What was she going to do, tell the queen no?

Andora placed her hand on Sally’s forehead and closed her eyes. Sally felt Costin’s fingers close around her shirt as he took a step closer to her. She reached down her hand and took his other.

“I’m fine.”

“I know you are, Sally mine. It’s still hard for me to share the mental bond. I didn’t know your mom was taking a look inside your head the other day. But knowing someone is digging around in here makes my wolf edgy.”

“I love you,” she said soothingly.

“It’s a good thing. Someone has to.”

She smiled and let out the breath she’d been holding when Queen Andora stepped back. Her face was grim, and her eyes held a sharp intelligence that Sally hadn’t seen before.

“Take her to the healers’ chambers. The luminous are waiting for you there.” The Queen turned without another word and marched back down the corridor.

A small woman stepped forward and bowed slightly. “My ladies and sirs, if you will follow me.”

They made their way down the corridor to a set of stairs which took them up to the second floor. When they stepped off the staircase, Sally was struck by how much un-castle-like the structure appeared once you got deeper inside the palace. Now, it simply looked like a home with a really nice banister and fancy carpet.

They turned right, following the small woman with the quick feet. After mentally singing down to eighty bottles of sprite on the wall, they finally stopped at a large, arched door. Okay, so this looks a bit more castle-like.

The woman knocked three times, and the door opened. When they entered, Sally felt warmth flow through her, but it didn’t stay. It moved from her front and out her back, as if she’d passed through warm water and arrived cold on the other side. She shivered.

“You okay?” Costin whispered against her ear.

She nodded but rubbed her arms, attempting to get rid of the chill.

“Hello, Sally.” A woman with brown hair flowing down her back and over her shoulders stepped forward. She had keen eyes and a pleasant smile. She wore a dress with a scoop neck, long flowing sleeves, and a thin silver corded belt around her small waist. “My name is Diedre. I am the head of my clan, the luminous sprites.”

“It’s very nice to meet you. And thank you, for being willing to do…” She paused. “Um, whatever it is you’re going to do.”

Diedre gave a slight bow. “We are happy to help.” She motioned to a small bed. “If you would please lie down here so we can begin. The moon will be rising in less than a quarter of an hour, and we want to be well into the process before it’s reached its zenith.”

Costin took her face in his hands and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “I’ll be right beside you.”

She nodded. “Please keep your beast in check.”

He winked at her. “No promises, beautiful.”

Sally shook her head at him as she gave her mom and dad both a quick hug and then climbed up onto the bed. She laid down on her back and set her arms down beside her. She felt like at any moment someone was going to jump out and yell “GOTCHA!” and that everything that had happened for the past two years was going to have been some weird dream.

“I know I’m too good to be true, Sally mine, but I’m real, not just a dream.” Costin teased through their bond.

Sally rolled her eyes. “You would be the nightmare portion of the dream.”

He pressed a hand to his chest as though she’d truly wounded him. “Words cut deep, Sally. Truly.”

“Your mate is funny,” Diedre said as she walked over to the opposite side of the bed. “I bet you’re happy he isn’t just a pretty face.”

Sally covered her nose to keep from snorting out the laugh. Okay, she liked Diedre. “It is nice that he did happen to come with a brain.”

“You weren’t real concerned about my brain last night,” Costin muttered under his breath, which made Sally cough.

Diedre made a motion with her hands, and suddenly there were women surrounding the bed. It wasn’t a wide bed, so Sally was close to the edge on all sides, which meant all of the women had no trouble reaching her to lay a hand on her skin. Sally counted twelve sets of hands on her before she closed her eyes and tried to relax. She tried to push away any fear and to take deep breaths as she waited.

The room seemed to fade away, and she was standing in a dark room. She could feel the floor beneath her feet and just barely make out the walls and a small window where a very scant beam of moonlight attempted to make its way in.

“Sally?” She heard the sprite’s voice.

“Diedre?” she asked.

“Yes, I am here.”

“Where is here?”

“We are in your mind.”

Sally frowned. “It’s just a black empty room and”—she shivered—“cold.”

“I want you to focus on the darkness and the cold.”

Diedre’s voice sounded close, but Sally couldn’t see the woman. She couldn’t see anything.

“I want you to zero in all of your attention on that darkness. Feel it. Is it a part of you, or is it foreign?”

“What do you mean, is it a part of me?”

“Each of us has some measure of darkness in us, child.” The sprite’s smooth voice filled the space. She didn’t sound harsh, just matter of fact. “We all have the capacity to do great evil. We have a choice. Shall I go in this direction that leads to good, healthy things, or do I go in this direction which gives me the illusion of satisfaction for a brief second as it slowly kills my soul? But not all darkness comes from within. Sometimes, outside influences slip in unnoticed. I want you to feel this darkness and determine if it is yours or something else.”

Sally turned toward the darkness that undulated like a charmed snake in a corner of her mind. It was so strange to see her mind as a room. Sally knew her brain was a pink mass filled with firing synapses, but this place was a rectangular room with dark corners hiding the secrets of psyche. The darkness shifted again, drawing her attention back to itself.

She took a step toward the black mass, even though her body was screaming at her to turn and run. She took another step, and still another, until she was able to reach out her hand and touch it.

She heard Costin’s growl but didn’t pull her hand away. The consequence of her action was immediate. Sally felt as though she’d swallowed a bag of cotton. She couldn’t get any air in her lungs no matter how hard she tried. Was it real? Could she really not breathe, or was this just something happening in her mind?

As quickly as the air had left her, it returned, and she was surrounded by memories. She could hear his voice, smell his scent, and even feel his skin on hers. Jericho.

“No,” she said firmly.

“What do you feel?” Diedre’s voice crashed into Sally’s ears, helping the gypsy healer pull herself from the hurricane of emotions that was swirling within her.

“I feel him. The werewolf imposter. He’s in that darkness. He’s taunting me.”

“Is it yours?”

“No.” Sally understood now what the sprite meant. The darkness that danced in front of her wasn’t hers. It had been left there by someone else.

“It’s going to get warm in here,” Diedre said. “And I apologize, but we will see some of your memories. Sally, visible light isn’t the only thing that banishes darkness. Darkness is deceit. Its intent is to cover and conceal, to lie. So while we will shine the light into the darkness, we will also draw out the truth. Truth breaks the chains with which lies and deceit bind. Do you want the truth to rip through the lies, Sally?”

“Yes.” Sally backed up until she was pressed against a wall and slid down to the floor. She wasn’t there long.

“Stand, child of mine,” a bright light filled her vision, and Sally had to cover her eyes.

Sally obeyed and rose back to her feet. “Great Luna?”

“I hurt with you, Sally, precious mate to Costin. I have caught every tear you’ve cried, but I did not remove the pain. You are doing the right thing. Remove what is in secret, pour light into the darkness, and expose the lie and the truth. This I will bless.”

There was no easing into it. One minute there was no light and the next it flooded her. Sally was sure that light was probably shining out of the pours in her skin. She was suddenly outside of her mind and back in her own body. She could no longer see the room, but she was aware of what was happening. She could feel the heat radiating through her and feel the burn of truth as it began to expose the lies.

Memories began to be pulled from the darkness, but they weren’t real. These were the things that had been implanted like subliminal messages. One by one, they were revealed.

“Little healer, he will not want you if he ever finds you,” Jericho whispered as he walked by her in the bar. Sally didn’t even act like she’d heard him.

“Little healer, your worth is tied to your ability to be faithful to your true mate. Brown eyes, you have not been faithful.” These words were whispered to her as he stood beside her drying glasses at the end of a shift. Again, Sally never moved or said anything.

“Little healer, he will always wonder if you desire me more.”

As the light shown brighter and brighter, the suppressed memories were exposed until there was only a shadow left.

“That shadow is your own darkness, Sally,” Diedre said. “We have excised the implanted darkness, but only you can defeat your own darkness. We will help. Listen carefully.”

Sally heard her parent’s voices. “You are growing into a remarkable young woman, Sally.” Sally could see the memory. She was in their kitchen, ten years old.

“I want to be remarkable now.” Sally sighed. “Jacque is so free spirited, and Jen is so confident, and I’m just me.”

“Look at me, daughter of mine.” Her mom nudged her chin with the knuckle of her finger. “There is no such thing as just anyone. Every single person is unique in this world, and uniqueness is what makes something special. That means we are all special in our own way. You are special. You are unique. There is only one of you in this entire world. One day you will realize your worth, though your father and I will continue to try to get you to see it sooner rather than later.”

Jen and Jacque’s voices filled her head next, and the memory bloomed in her mind. They were sitting in Jacque’s backyard staring up at the night sky. They were freshmen in high school, and the school year was nearly over. She remembered that night like it had happened yesterday. “I wish I could be like you, Sally,” Jen said as she re-braided her hair, which she did like fifty times that night.

“Why on earth would you want to be like me? So guys won’t notice you, and you blush if they actually do?” Sally asked.

“Do you really want me to dignify those questions with an answer?” Jen asked. When Sally didn’t respond, Jen continued. “Now, as I was saying, I wish I was like you because you see good in bad things. You see good in people and situations that I can’t.”

“What are you talking about?” Sally frowned.

“When you got the flu over winter break you never complained, and you said, ‘At least I don’t have to get dragged into washing holiday dishes.’ When we got detention for the stunt we pulled on the football field with the baby powder, you were all, ‘It’s like a free period where we can just hang out.’ When you built that volcano in seventh grade for the science fair, it was amazing, and everyone knew you would win, and then you dropped it as you climbed out of the car. You shrugged and said, ‘Maybe someone else needs to win more than I do.’” Jen turned to look her in the eyes. “You don’t see yourself, Sally. But we do. We see you, and we like the hell out of what we see.”

“What she said.” Jacque held her hand up in the air for a high five. “You know Jen is serious when she starts cussing the hell out of something.”

That memory faded, and another quickly filled its place. This time it was Costin’s voice. They were in their suite, and he was lying next to her on the bed. Costin wasn’t able to touch her because she, along with the other females, had forbidden their mates to touch them. Even after she’d done that, he still professed his love for her. “Now that I have you, I can’t live without those things, Sally. Not just because of the Blood Rites, but because I couldn’t go on without you being in this world. So you see, when this is all over you have to come back to me. Whatever it takes, my sweet love, I will do it. I will take away every nightmare, every soul haunting memory, and replace it with my love. Do you hear me, Sally?”

“Yes,” she whispered for her unconscious self. She heard him then, and she heard him now. The next memory was of Costin holding her as she fell apart. She heard the words he’d spoken into her mind then just as clearly now. “I love you Sally. I love you, and I’m not leaving.”

The memories shifted again, and she recognized the next one immediately as it had happened not quite two weeks ago. “Get that you will always be more important to me than anything else. You, your safety, your health, your pain, your joy, all of that is more important than him. He is dead now. He doesn’t matter. I dealt with my own feelings when I tore him apart. Now it’s about you.”

Sally didn’t know how long it went on, memory after memory of words that contradicted everything Jericho had tried to make her believe.

“Sally?” Costin’s voice was hesitant.

“I’m okay,” she told him, and it was the truth.

“Do you see what is truth and what is not?” Costin asked.

“I do.” And she did. The light inside continued to burn bright, chasing out the darkness. When it was done, she was back in the room in her mind, but it was no longer covered in darkness. It was bright and warm, and she could feel the first tingles of hope.

“Truth will always overcome,” the Great Luna said as she appeared in front of Sally, who bowed her head to the creator of the Canis lupus race. “My truth is the ultimate truth, so hear me now. You are not your own. You are mine, and I will give you strength in trying times. I will answer when you call. I will shine my light into the darkness and guide you through the fire. It is up to you to decide that you want what I freely give. You will continue to battle darkness because evil lives and breathes in the world. But your obedience and faith will make you victorious. Remember, you weren’t created to be an island. Draw strength from those who love you and stand beside you. Your battle isn’t over, Sally. You will still struggle with the trauma of your experience, but you will also have many opportunities to offer comfort to others who are going through what you endured. It is serving others, using the difficult things in life to help, that combats the influence of darkness.”

“Thank you,” Sally said as new tears flowed down her face. These tears were for more than just the pain of her experience. They were also tears that cleansed and brought her to a place of peace. “I’m still hurting, but I am not blinded by the lies. And I know I will overcome this and be stronger because of it. And I know I couldn’t do it without your help.”

“My peace I give to you and my promise that I will not forsake you.”

Sally’s eyes blinked open as her mind slipped back into consciousness. She took a deep breath and smiled when Costin’s face appeared above her. His answering smile filled her heart with so much love she felt as though it would burst right out of her chest.

He helped her sit up then wrapped his strong arms around her. His lips found hers briefly and then he pressed his forehead to hers. “I know we aren’t out of the woods yet, but at least now we can see the rays of sun breaking through the trees.”

She nodded and looked around to those watching her silently. Her mom smiled at her and stepped forward. Costin stepped aside so Sally could accept her mother’s embrace. Her dad was next, and Sally felt as though she was seeing things through a different light, as though she’d been wearing dark sunglasses before and someone had lifted them away from her eyes.

She looked over at Diedre and frowned. “It feels so anticlimactic.”

The luminous sprite smiled at her. “I have found the most powerful healing can occur when we are in a quiet place, willing to listen to our Creator, as long as we are open to being changed. There need not be onlookers, lights and smoke, explosive revelations, or the like for change to occur. Sometimes, change can only happen when we take time to stop and look inside of ourselves to see what darkness we have within. Maybe it feels less than amazing, but I assure you it is every bit as encouraging as the change that occurs in explosive, mighty ways. Fighting evil, refusing to be a part of something that only glorifies self, that kind of change is always mighty.”

“Thank you for your help,” Sally said and looked around at the other women. “All of you.” They bowed their heads in response. Each of their faces seemed to portray the same peace that Sally was feeling.

“Regardless of our race, our differences, we should always be willing to help others. We should always be willing to fight against our enemies and stand up for those who need us,” Diedre said. “You, healer, have been through much and, as the Great Luna said, you will be able to help even more than had you not been through those things. Leave here with your head held high. Though you will still have healing to do, you have hope that this too shall pass, and greater things are to come.”

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