Veronica

I found Trent exactly where I’d left him. “We’ve got to go.”

He frowned up at me. “What’s wrong?”

I shook my head. I couldn’t talk. If I did I would cry, and I did not cry. Ever. And I had no plans to start now in front of half the Briarwood junior class. Not even if my heart was breaking.

But that was overkill. Obviously my heart wasn’t breaking. We weren’t even together, how could I have a broken heart?

Right. Try telling that to gaping hole in my chest where my heart used to be.

I bit my lip to stem a rising tide of tears, but I bit down too hard and that only made it worse because now I was in physical pain in addition to having had my heart ripped out of my chest.

Apparently seeing the extent of my distress, Trent grabbed his bag, snatched some money out of his pocket and threw it onto the table, and led me by my elbow back the way I’d come in.

People were looking at us. I could feel the stares, hear the whispers. Of course they were. Yet again Veronica Smith was the class idiot. This time I hadn’t been used by some guy I barely know to make some drama queen jealous.

Nope. This time it was so much worse. I was so incredibly stupid.

I looked up from the ground to see the door in sight. We were almost there, we’d almost made our escape. But then I heard my name being called.

I walked faster, my head down as I navigated the sea of happy baseball fans. Finally, I reached the parking lot and it wouldn’t be an overstatement to say that Trent and I broke into a run.

“Who are we running from?” he panted.

I was the athletic one in this friendship for a reason. Trent couldn’t run to the end of the block without getting winded.

“We’re not running from anyone,” I said. This was a blatant falsehood as I was legitimately running.

The only problem? Drew was athletic too.

Also, he was taller, which meant he had longer legs, and he definitely wasn’t wearing wedges. I still say I would have won that race if he didn’t have that advantage. But, as it was, he ran in front of me and I was forced to stop or run straight into him.

The only thing that could make this night more painful was to feel his arms around me again. That would be the worst. Why? Because it may have been the best sensation I’d ever felt in my entire. That embrace, that kiss—that was my first kiss. It was the kiss I’d been waiting a lifetime to experience, and it had exceeded all expectations. It had been perfection. For a little while there, I’d thought we were on the same wavelength. I’d thought he felt the same longing for me that I felt for him. I’d thought I’d felt it in his kiss.

God, what I fool I was.

Drew was breathing heavily and his brow was furrowed. “Why are you running from me?”

I sniffed and looked past him, unwilling to meet his gaze. I spotted Trent hovering nearby, probably unsure whether he should stick around for moral support or give us privacy. He seemed to settle for backtracking to stand inconspicuously by a truck. Far enough that he couldn’t hear every word, but close enough that he could come running if I needed him.

Thank God for good friends like Trent.

And screw new friends like Drew. With that thought I lifted my chin, still not meeting his gaze but not cowering either. “I don’t run from anyone.”

Yup. I was in all out denial mode—first with Trent and now with Drew. But you know what? There’s something to be said for the whole fake it til you make it mentality. And right now I needed any help I could get.

If acting like I wasn’t crushed meant that I no longer felt like this? I’d act the hell out of this situation. Somebody hand me an Academy Award because I was going to fake it like I’d never faked it before.

“Veronica, I can explain.”

“No need.” My eyes were trained on a bumper sticker that I could read just over Drew’s right shoulder. Honk if you love cheese! I focused on that stupid phrase like it held all the answers to the mysteries of the universe.

“What do you mean, no need?” He sounded irritated. Good. I hoped I was ruining his perfect, precious night and whatever awesome plan he’d had to get back at April.

“I mean, I get it.” I finally dragged my eyes away from the bumper sticker to meet his gaze. I shouldn’t have done it. My heart twisted in my chest at the sight of his earnestness. He looked so upset, so hurt.

But what right did he have to be upset? I was the one who’d been hurt here, dammit.

“What do you mean you get it?” He took a step toward me but I backed away. “Before April showed up, I was trying to tell you—I didn’t know how to say it—”

I nodded. I’d figured that out already. It had all made sense when April started talking. At first I’d been too shocked to understand, but then her words clicked and it was all so obvious. He’d been trying to make her jealous.

No, he wasn’t an asshole like Alex. He’d tried to tell me that when he’d brought up our pizza conversation. Heck, if he’d had enough time he probably would have asked permission. Would it be too much trouble to make out with me so I can make April angry?

But he must have seen her pull up and he didn’t have time and so he’d kissed me. He probably thought it was no big deal. Hey, here’s Ronnie—my new, totally platonic friend. She’ll be cool with playing the role of my new love interest.

At least, that’s how I assumed it went down in his head. Because, you see, the thing that sucked most about all of this was that I still thought Drew was a good guy. A nice guy.

He was a nice guy who thought we were friends.

I cast a quick glance over at Trent as my mind called up our earlier conversation. Maybe he’d been right. Maybe I’d been playing games by going along with this new friendship when I knew that my feelings for him went well beyond friendly. Maybe I should have said something sooner. I don’t want to be friends because I’m afraid I might be falling in love with you, as insane as that sounds.

But I hadn’t said anything. I’d been too chicken to own these feelings. But in my defense, I’d thought I had time. We were just starting to forge this new friendship, and besides, who fell for a guy that quickly? Only me. So I’d waited. I’d held my tongue and let him believe that I was okay with being just friends.

And look where it had gotten me?

Brokenhearted.

There it was. I couldn’t try to deny it any more.

Acknowledging it was an honest-to-God heartbreak broke down the last of my defenses. The only thing worse than crying in front of the entire student body? Crying in front of Drew Remi, my first crush, my first kiss, and now? My first heartbreak.

But that was exactly what I did.

I should probably say here and now—I am not a pretty crier. This is one of the reasons I go to great lengths not to cry in front of people. Even when I got hurt on the field I chewed on the inside of my lip until they carted me off to the nurse’s station.

Because yeah, maybe I was a tomboy who didn’t know the first thing about makeup, but I had some pride. And that pride dictated that no one ever see me with a red, puffy nose, blotchy cheeks and making that awful hiccup sound in my throat.

Yet here I was doing exactly that in front of Drew Remi, sexiest guy alive.

Sometimes life sucked so freakin’ hard.

The sobs racked my body and I slapped a hand over my mouth just as Drew pulled me against him. I tried to get away but he held my head to his chest and rubbed my back like I was a child or something.

It felt nice. I didn’t want to be soothed by anyone, least of all this guy, but my body had other ideas. I could feel myself melting against him until he was cradling me to him like I was something precious.

Like I was someone precious.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his tone filled with regret.

That somehow made it worse. Maybe because it made it clear that he knew exactly why I was crying. He was basically admitting that he now knew I liked him and he felt sorry for me. And maybe he felt guilty too, because he’d used me to hurt April, but I still believed deep down that his callous actions hadn’t been intentional.

He couldn’t have known how I’d truly felt. At least, not until I’d kissed him back. Ugh, how incredibly embarrassing. I stopped trying to pull away from his embrace, grateful that at least he couldn’t see my scarlet blush as I remembered my stupidly earnest response to that kiss.

How pathetic. He’d probably expected me to grudgingly go along with it, not kiss him back like my life depended on it. I’d probably come across as overly eager. Desperate, even.

And the worst part was, I had been so happy. I should have known something was off, that kiss had been too good to be true. Being swept up in his arms, having his lips meet mine in a way that felt magical, just like a first kiss should.

It had been overwhelming, and perfect, and real. So very real.

And then it had all turned so surreal as April arrived like a figment of my worst nightmares. Suddenly the perfect moment had become one of the worst moments of my life.

And it was all his fault.

“I’m so sorry,” he said again.

I shrugged. I honestly didn’t know what to say. It was his fault. But then again, maybe it wasn’t. I mean, it wasn’t like he was a mind reader. How could he have known that I’d gone and fallen for him when I’d agreed to be friends?

He leaned down so his lips were close to my hair, and I could feel his chest reverberate beneath my ear. “I swear I didn’t know she was coming tonight.”

My lungs lost their ability to draw in air. My stomach leapt up to meet my heart as the meaning of his words registered. He kept talking, apologizing for letting her talk to me like that, for letting her near me at all—but I’d stopped listening.

He hadn’t known she was coming.

He hadn’t known she was coming?

But… But… What did that mean?

Was he being honest? Yes, he was. I didn’t have to think about it. There was nothing disingenuous about Drew. Drew wasn’t a liar; he had no reason to lie.

More importantly, he seemed to think that I was upset about April’s nastiness. He was still talking and it was clear that he had completely misconstrued my tears. He wasn’t trying to make me feel less pitiful for having fallen for him. He was apologizing because he hadn’t known April would be there.

He was apologizing on April’s behalf. But why? I honestly hadn’t given her a second thought. After the whole Tina incident I’d resigned myself to the fact that there were some awful people out there. The only thing I could do was make sure to surround myself with the good ones. Like Trent and Margo…and Drew.

I pushed away from his chest so hard he let out an oof, but it was the only way I could get out of his tight hold. “What do you mean, you didn’t know she was coming?”

He stared at me for a second. “I mean, I had no idea she was going to be there. I still don’t know what she was doing there.”

“April, you mean?”

“Of course I mean April. Who else would I be referring to?” He gave me a look that said I was crazy. And I felt crazy. I also felt like I had no idea what was going on here. We were clearly speaking two different languages. I shook my head slightly as he gave me a searching look of confusion.

“You didn’t know she was going to be there?” I asked.

“Of course not.” His look of confusion turned to irritation. “How could I know she was going to be here?”

I shrugged and pointed out the obvious. “I don’t know, maybe she’d texted you or something. Maybe she’d told you she’d planned to come to the after party.”

“She didn’t,” he said.

We stared at each other. As much as my head was scrambling to make sense of this, I got the feeling that his brain was working even harder.

“Wait,” he said. “You thought that I knew she was coming?”

I didn’t nod but I didn’t shake my head either. Something about the way he’d asked it made me feel ashamed. Like I’d accused him of kicking puppies or something. I finally settled on a noncommittal shrug.

“Oh my God,” he said slowly. “You totally did.”

I shrugged again. But then I grew a spine and realized that I had no reason to be on the defensive here. I wasn’t the one who’d just pulled him into the middle of ex drama. That had been him.

I placed my hands on my hips and lifted my chin. “Well, if you didn’t know she was coming, why did you kiss me?”

He widened his eyes and his face basically called me crazypants even though the word didn’t come out of his still-open mouth. “Seriously?”

I nodded, though some of my confidence threatened to waver in the face of his obvious shock.

He threw his hands up. “Because I wanted to!”

I stared. I gaped, actually. Maybe it was even gawking, I don’t know. All I know is, I was stunned speechless. He wanted to. It sounded so simple it was almost surreal.

Could that be true? A little voice asked in the back of my brain. Do we believe him?

Why would he lie?

Before I could answer any of those questions, or even pose them for him to answer, he turned the cards on me. “What about you?” he asked. “Why did you kiss me back?”

I blinked at him. Despite his answer, I felt too raw. Too exposed. I wasn’t certain what was going on and I hated the idea of exposing myself to him any further.

Not physically, obviously. I wasn’t about to strip down naked. But I’d be exposing myself emotionally and I wasn’t sure I could do that. Because now I knew exactly how much it would hurt if he didn’t feel the same.

But what if he did?

But what if he didn’t?

I’d just experienced the worst heartbreak of my admittedly short life, and I had no desire to feel that way again…

Although, if I didn’t take a chance, if I didn’t at least see if there was a possibility for us, would I be able to live with myself? Hadn’t I just been kicking myself for not being honest with him sooner? Now I was being given another chance. He hadn’t known April would be there. Maybe I hadn’t been outright rejected…not yet, at least.

And maybe I wouldn’t be at all. Maybe he felt the same. I looked into his eyes and wished that the answer was clear. But it wasn’t. All I saw was a churning sea of emotions. I saw those gorgeous green eyes darkened with emotions but they were mixed and confusing. Or maybe he was just confused.

But then Drew’s words came back to me. I heard them again as if he’d just said them aloud. Because I wanted to.

Without thinking it through any further, I took a deep breath and steadied my nerves. It was now or never. “Because I wanted to.”

I blurted out his same answer because—well, because it was the truth. I’d loved that kiss. That kiss had been heaven on earth…until it had become hell on earth.

And now? Now I watched as some of the angst and the fear seeped out of his expression. The anger faded and the grin that he gave me was sexy beyond belief.

I swear to God, I could feel the effects of that smile in my toes. My breath caught in my throat as his eyes filled with a twinkling, mischievous laughter. “Well, all right then.”

Something warm and infinitely sweet spread through my chest, making me feel full and content, and giddier than I ever knew I could be. “Well, all right then,” I repeated, this time with a grin of my own.

He liked me. He might not have said it yet, but I knew it. I saw it—in his eyes and written all over his face.

This guy had feelings for me…and so did I.

Holy crap. Drew Remi likes me! That was pretty much the only thought my brain seemed capable of producing.

But then his expression fell, his brows pulling together. “I can’t believe you thought I was pulling an Alex.”

I bit my lip, guilt hitting me again like a punch in the gut. “Sorry,” I muttered.

“Why would you even think that?” he asked. But before I could answer, he spoke again with a shake of his head. “No, I’m sorry.”

“You are?”

“Why wouldn’t you think that I’d pulled an Alex?” he said. “I never gave you any reason to think that I wanted anything more from you than friendship.”

I arched my brows at the memory of that pizza conversation replayed in my head. “You did make it pretty clear you wanted to be friends and I—” I shifted from foot to foot. I had so much I wanted to say but no idea how. This was all new for me. All of it. For a moment it was too overwhelming.

“What?” he asked.

I snapped my head up to meet his gaze. Good Lord, that gaze. It was lethal. “What what?” I asked stupidly.

He smirked, and for a second it actually put me at ease. He wasn’t Drew Remi, superstar baseball player who was too-cool-for-school, he was just Drew. He was the guy I’d known forever and a guy I was friends with now.

Friends, but hopefully so much more.

“What what?” he repeated, openly mocking me for playing dumb.

That made me laugh, and whether it was weird or not, it put me even more at ease. Joking around with guys I could do, teasing wasn’t hard. It was what I did with friends. And at the heart of it all, that’s what we were. We were friends. And maybe more.

Hopefully more.

But a good relationship is rooted in friendship, right? So either way, we were friends.

That gave me the confidence to answer his not so eloquently phrased question. This was it, the moment of truth. I could either wuss out and officially play games…or I could be open and honest.

What I had to do was so obvious, but holy crap, it was so much easier said than done. Nevertheless, I did it. Because maybe I wasn’t totally sure who that was yet, but with perfect beach waves or a frizzy mass of curls pulled back in a ponytail, I wasn’t a wuss and I didn’t play games. That was a part of who I was, like it or not, and it wasn’t going to change.

“You did say you wanted to be friends,” I said. “I didn’t think you were trying to be cruel by pulling an Alex, I just thought you were ignorant of certain key facts.”

My voice trailed off with those lame words.

His lips were twitching with barely concealed amusement at my obvious discomfort. “Certain key facts,” he repeated. I could see the strain it took for him to keep from laughing.

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, certain key facts. Namely, the fact that I liked you.”

His amusement faded and the intensity of his stare made my mouth grew dry. “You liked me.”

I let out a short exhale. “Are you going to keep repeating everything I say?”

He took a step toward me. We were standing so close I could smell peppermint on his breath, like he’d been chewing gum or just sucked on a mint. That combined with the scent of his soap and shampoo…it was like nature and Drew Remi had come together to create the headiest cocktail for one Veronica Smith.

“I’m only repeating the key facts,” he teased, but there was that intensity there that belied his teasing tone. “You said you liked me. Past tense.”

The question was there in the way his voice trailed off. It was there in his eyes as he waited for me to keep talking as if my next words held the key his salvation. Being the sole object of this kind of focus was heady in its own way. I’d never before felt like the center of someone’s universe, not until this particular moment.

I’d also never felt like the center of gravity in my own life had shifted to include someone else, but that’s how it felt with Drew standing this close. We were in our own orbit.

I licked my lips, nervous even though I knew what he wanted to hear. “I like you,” I said slowly. “Present tense.”

The echoing silence lasted for a heartbeat but it felt like an eternity. And then he broke it with a loud groan as he reached for me and pulled me close so there was no air between us. “Oh thank God,” he murmured before his mouth closed over mine.

This kiss was even better than the last. Maybe because this time there was no moment of shock, there was only sensation. Or maybe the kiss was so mindblowing because I’d done it—I’d spoken the truth and said what I’d needed to say.

He hadn’t, but I didn’t even care. His kiss was answer enough. His lips were gentle and tender and passionate and rough. It alternated between crazy intense and sweet, as though he was savoring every second, memorizing the feel of my lips, the taste of my tongue.

Good Lord, were kisses always like this? Something told me no, probably not. When Drew finally came up for air, he basically told me so. Cupping my face between his palms he looked at me like I was some precious treasure he’d just discovered, even though we both knew I’d been right in front of his face since birth, practically.

“I have never experienced a kiss like that.”

See? He outright confirmed it. I knew that kiss was epic. I found myself grinning up at him like a moron. “It was pretty good, huh?”

“Good?” He arched his brows and feigned offense. “Good? Are you kidding me? That was amazing. Sensational. We should probably win awards for that kiss.”

I nodded, even though he was still holding my face in his hands like he was afraid I’d run away again. “Oh we would totally win in a kissing competition. If kissing was an Olympic event, we would be taking home the gold.”

He laughed. “I’m so glad my girlfriend is just as competitive as I am.”

My mind went blank. “Girlfriend?” It came out as a squeak.

He winced, probably because of the squeak. “Too soon to use the g-word?”

I blinked a few times as if that might help my brain to process what had just happened. I’m pretty sure my brain was still stuck on the fact that Drew Remi had kissed me. It had so not caught up to the rest. I could barely breathe when I thought of the way I’d outright told him I like him. Or the way he’d kissed me after.

Or the way he was looking at me right now.

Looking, but not talking. I gently pushed his hands away and took two steps back. It wasn’t easy when my body was begging to get even closer. My body definitely wanted me to leap into his arms, not back away.

He frowned. “What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to think,” I said. “And I’m having a hard enough time doing that without you being all…” I gestured to his hot, sexy self, “You.”

He smirked. God, that smirk was hot.

“I think you might need to turn around,” I said. “I need a moment.”

His smirk grew to an all out grin that slayed me to my core. I was a goner. Stick a fork in me because I was done. This guy owned my soul with that smile.

Instead of turning around he took a step in my direction and then another. Moving slowly and with exaggerated long steps just like I’d done when I’d backed away. “What are you doing?” I asked. “You’re supposed to be giving me space. You’re supposed to turn around.”

He nodded but he did neither of those things. He moved so close I may have been able to name the flavor and brand of his gum. Peppermint Orbit, in case you were wondering.

“I want to see the look in your eyes when I tell you how I feel about you,” he said softly, simply, like it was the easiest thing in the world.

I kind of wished I had a redo for my own little speech. He made being forthright look so graceful and easy, not like my awkward, clumsy attempt. It was at this point that I realized just how accurate he was about our competitive compatibility.

I clasped my hands in front of me to keep from reaching out to him or touching him in some way. Now that I’d been so close to him and had permission to touch him again, withholding from that sort of intimacy felt stupidly hard.

I swallowed down a wave of nerves. “And how do you feel about me?”

He waited until my eyes locked with his before reaching out and brushing some hair away from my face. “I like you, Veronica Smith.” His mouth hitched up in a cute lopsided grin. “I more than like you, if I’m being honest. But I don’t want to scare you away by moving too fast.”

I nodded, trying to stay calm even as my heart tried to make a run for it. Not because I was scared. I wasn’t. I was excited, and overwhelmed, and…yeah, okay, maybe a little scared. “I’ve never…” I gestured toward him and then to me. “I’ve never…”

He arched a brow as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me back into his arms. Back where I belonged.

There I went again, psyching myself out. This time I felt a thrill of excitement, a surge of belonging I hadn’t known I’d been missing. I’d found someone who saw me. The real me. The me I wasn’t even sure I saw so clearly myself. But he did. When I looked into his eyes, I felt more sure of myself. Not because the hottie baseball star liked me, but because my mind stopped with the overanalyzing and the doubting when I was looking into his eyes.

I was just…me. Ronnie and Veronica. Good athlete and girly blushing idiot, at least when he was around. I was a work in progress, but so was he. I’d changed over the years and so had he. And I liked the person he’d become, and apparently he felt the same about me.

He was still waiting for me to finish what I’d started to say. “I’ve never done anything like this before.”

He leaned down and pressed a light kiss to my lips. “You’ve never made out in a parking lot in front of the entire student body before?”

I jerked my head back in surprise and turned to face the diner. Sure enough we were putting on a show for everyone inside. Through the glass windows I could see a million faces turned in our direction staring. My gasp turned into a laugh even as my cheeks burst into flames.

I buried my head in Drew’s chest to hide from the peering eyes and felt his laughter beneath my cheek. “This is so embarrassing,” I mumbled.

He laughed harder. “Why? Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?”

I smacked his chest and pulled back far enough to scowl at him. “You know what I mean.”

His grin was so self-satisfied I had to roll my eyes. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Of course.” He leaned down so his lips were close to my ear. “The hot new girl is my girlfriend, and now everyone knows it.”

I shivered at the words as much as his tone. I was his girlfriend. That was a new way of seeing myself that was definitely going to take some getting used to. It was new term for me, but I liked it already.

“What did you really mean before?” he asked. “You’ve never done what before? Had a boyfriend?”

I could feel that stupid heat in my cheeks and was suddenly grateful for the darkness. Our audience might have gotten quite a show but at least they wouldn’t see me blush. I hereby solemnly vow that Drew Remi would be the only person to ever see me blush.

I nodded. “I’ve never had a boyfriend before.” I swallowed down my embarrassment as I admitted the next part. “I’ve also never…”

He arched a brow and tightened his arms around me. “You’ve also never…what?”

I wrinkled my nose and forced out the rest. “I’ve also never been kissed before?” My voice went weirdly up at the end like it was a question. Ugh, this was humiliating.

When I finally summoned the courage to look at Drew, my heart melted in my chest. He looked shock, and rightfully so. I was probably the last girl in our class to have her first kiss, at Atwater or Briarwood.

But beyond the shock was something so unbearably tender, it made a gooey, sticky-sweet warmth spread throughout my whole body. Finally I shifted in his arms at his silence. “Say something.”

He leaned down and rested his forehead against mine. “I’m honored to be your first kiss, Ronnie.”

The use of my old nickname made me smile. I liked the fact that he remembered who I was—that he wasn’t just kissing the new and improved Veronica, but the tomboy he’d known forever as well.

The hot new girl. His earlier words came back to me and made me grin. Yeah, I guess he’d kissed her too.