Where’s Sophia when I need her? Blake’s standing a foot away, eyes on me—exactly what I’ve wanted for months—and my brain has forgotten how to form words.
Smile! I can smile!
I smile.
He smiles back, that adorable half smirk that shows his dimple.
Okay, this is good.
His smile grows.
Pull it together, Cally! I glance at his empty hands. “You need something to drink?”
“Nah, I’m good.”
Luke elbows him from behind and Blake stumbles toward me. His gaze drops. “Can we... uh...” He looks me in the eye. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”
Not in my room, Dad would kill me. But it’s too crowded down here. I’m not expecting anything to happen but I don’t want an audience for whatever he’s planning to tell me. “Outside?”
“Sure.”
We find our coats and step outside into a brisk wind.
“Over here?” He’s looking around the corner to the side of the house.
I take a deep breath. Pretend he’s any other guy. Hunter. Or Sam. Not someone who broke my heart and has the potential to do it all over again if he keeps looking at me that way. I follow him into the darkness.
It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust, and when they do, I need another breath. Blake’s standing close enough that our shoulders brush. He’s not facing me, but my heart doesn’t seem to care. It’s thumping so loudly it drowns out everything else.
He clears his throat.
But doesn’t say anything.
The front door opens and sounds from the party drift outside. “Cally?” a girl calls.
I turn my head in her direction but don’t move.
Blake’s hand slides down my arm, stopping briefly at my fingertips—the heat from his hand sending tingles up my arm—then his hand falls to his side.
The front door closes and the quiet night falls around us.
Just a guy...
He opens his mouth but I interrupt him.
“Are you entering the Dash?”
He tilts his head. “The competition at Eldora?”
“Yeah.”
“I wasn’t planning on it.”
“Why not? I’ve seen you shred a mountain better than anyone else here.”
He shrugs. “Not my scene.”
“It’s totally your scene.”
He looks away. “You haven’t been here long enough to understand.”
I touch his arm and he meets my eyes. “What’s there to understand? Competition. You’re an amazing boarder. End of story.”
“Maybe where you came from, but not here.” He nods at the side of the house in the direction of the living room, avoiding my eyes. “I’m not one of them.”
Brianna’s warning to stay away from Blake rings in my ears. Nothing about him sets off warning bells and it seems like he likes me, but he must have some big secret I don’t know about. Why else would he act so weird?
“You’re no different from Evan and those guys. I mean, you’re hotter, but...” I trail off, cheeks blazing.
The corner of his mouth turns up and his eyes soften for a moment. But the smile fades. “It’s easy for you. Your dad, this house... you’ve got everything they do.”
“Not everything.” My voice comes out a whisper. I hate throwing my mom into the conversation, but she’s never far from my thoughts.
“But you have enough. In their eyes, you’re one of them. I’m surprised they didn’t give you a matching uniform.”
The bitterness is his voice is unmistakable and the pieces start to fall together. “Let me get this straight. You think that because my family has money I think I’m special? That I wouldn’t be friends with someone who doesn’t?”
Oh. That is it.
“That’s how the rest of them are.”
“And you just assumed I’m the same?” He shrugs and I want to shove his shoulders, but I cross my arms over my chest instead. “Is that why you lied?”
Our eyes lock but his expression is unreadable.
A moment passes. The silence is killing me but I’m done making excuses for him. I need to know why—
“I didn’t mean to.” His voice is so low I almost don’t hear him.
I take a deep breath, fighting back the anger that’s ready to explode all over him. “How do you accidentally lie about where you live?”
He takes a small step back and runs his hands through his hair before stepping closer and resting his hands on my shoulders. My breath catches at his sudden closeness. He dips his head so he’s staring directly into my eyes. In the darkness his light eyes are dark, but you’d have to be a complete moron to miss the intensity in them. “I don’t know why I lied to you. When you asked where I lived...” he shakes his head. “It just came out.”
“But you didn’t even hesitate. It’s like you had the lie ready in case I asked.”
His hands slide over my shoulders, down my arms, until he catches my hands in his.
I want to pull back. I don’t want to make this easy on him after the months of torment he put me through, but his touch feels so good.
“I was staying at the resort with my aunt and uncle and cousins. They’re from Tahoe.”
“So you decided to adopt yourself into their family?” I regret the words as soon as they leave my mouth. I don’t know anything about his family and for all I know he IS adopted. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. But you have to understand why I’m hurt, right?”
He frowns. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Cally. You’re the coolest chick I’ve ever met.”
My heart does a flip-flop but I force myself to keep quiet now that he’s finally talking.
“You see how Bri and her bitches are. I figured—”
“Mike’s not like that.” So much for not interrupting.
“Okay, she’s not bad. But I figured anyone as hot as you wouldn’t talk to me for more than five minutes once you found out I wasn’t part of a jet-setter clique.”
“I couldn’t care less about that.”
He lifts his hand and trails a finger down my cheek. “I realized that once I got to know you. But what was I supposed to say? ‘Oh, hey, I’m not really from California.’ I was having a great time with you and since I didn’t think we’d ever see each other again, I figured the truth didn’t matter.”
I take a step back. “So you just wanted to see how far you’d get on vacation?”
He matches my movement, once again closing the distance between us. “Do you really think that?”
I shake my head. He could say the same thing about me. We both went into whatever this thing was between us knowing we only had a few days together. I’m as guilty as he is.
Except I didn’t lie.
“So you were staying with your aunt and uncle?”
“Yeah.”
“Why weren’t your parents there?”
“They couldn’t leave the restaurant. My dad’s brother brings his family here over one of the breaks every year and they usually invite me to stay with them. I work at the restaurant a couple nights a week so my parents gave me the time off. It’s as close to a vacation as I’m gonna get.”
Bits of our conversations over Thanksgiving come back to me. Suddenly the small hesitations that I figured were nerves are starting to make sense. “So whose car were you driving?”
“My dad’s. Mine was in the shop for a couple days. It took everything I had to convince him to let me borrow it.” He touches my cheek again, but this time he doesn’t pull away. “I’m really sorry I lied.”
My body sways toward him, but I pull back. There’s still more I need to know. “I understand—sort of—why you lied about where you live, but why did you freak out when I told you I was moving here? And why have you acted like I don’t exist for the past month?” He’s close enough that I can smell his body wash but I can’t ignore the hurt and frustration that’s creeping over me. I’m grateful for the darkness because tears are burning my eyes and I don’t know how long I can keep them from falling.
He looks away and takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”
A lump catches in my throat. “That’s—that’s not enough.”
His eyes return to mine. A gust of wind blows the tree branches above us and light from the streetlight brightens his face. His eyes shine in the faint light. “I don’t have a good reason. Like I said, the girls here—”
This time I do push his shoulder—just as the front door opens. “I’m not like the girls here!” Music and laughter spill into the night air, colliding with my anger.
He watches me, jaw clenched. “Cally, I know I screwed up. And I don’t have a good excuse. I wish I did, but I don’t. Can we—”
“There you are!” Luke and Ian stumble around the corner, laughing.
Ian shoves Blake’s arm. “I told him you left.”
Luke winks at me. “And I told him you snuck off with Cally.”
Heat flushes my cheeks. There are so many emotions bubbling inside me that I’m ready to burst, but I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of Blake’s friends.
Blake covers for me. “We were just talking.”
Ian points at my face. “I dunno, bruh, she looks a little flushed.”
I push through them. “I’m going back inside.”
“You sure you don’t wanna stay?”
I turn around to see Luke waggling a joint between his thumb and forefinger.
“What the hell are you doing?”
Luke shrugs. “Relaxing?”
“You can’t smoke that here!” I look at Blake for backup but he doesn’t seem concerned. “Blake, tell him.”
I don’t know what Blake’s thinking after where we left off, but he does what I ask. “Dude, lay off. She doesn’t want you to.”
Luke flips the joint into his mouth. “You know it’s legal here, right?”
“It’s—what?”
Ian pumps his fist in the air. “The people have spoken!”
Blake smiles, but it’s not condescending the way Brianna’s is when she knows something I don’t. “Colorado legalized marijuana. It’s easier to get than alcohol anyway.”
“But if you really don’t want us to, we’ll wait.” Luke rolls the joint between his fingers. Back and forth, back and forth. Energy seems to course through him, like he couldn’t stand still if you paid him.
I release a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. This would have been a fight with Bri. “Thanks. I don’t mean to be a goody-goody, but I’m so used to getting drug tested for skiing that...” I trail off as a sadness I thought I’d gotten past rolls over me. I’m not on a ski team. No one cares if I smoke pot. I could light up every night for the next month and it wouldn’t make a difference. Well, Dad would probably lose his shit and I’d probably fail tenth grade, but other than that...
Luke throws his arm around my shoulder. “No worries. I’m not so bad that I can’t wait until later.” Blake snorts and Luke smiles. “But we’re leaving soon, right?”
I burst out laughing, and it’s like months of tension and stress fade away. Hanging out with the Snow Bunnies is okay but I can never relax. But these guys—Blake and his friends—they’re like my friends back home. No pretense, no worrying about what anyone else thinks, they’re just being themselves.
Blake nudges my side with his elbow. “That looks good on you.”
I tilt my head in question.
“Your smile.”
Ian jumps on Luke and puts him in a headlock. “I don’t think we’re needed here.”
Luke’s voice is muffled through Ian’s sleeve. “See ya, Cally! Thanks for the party!”
They stumble around the corner to the front of the house, leaving us alone. My nerves come back in full force. Is he gonna kiss me? He hasn’t finished explaining but he looks so good and he’s so close and—
“I should probably get going.”
The butterflies come to a screeching halt, slamming into my chest. “Does he really need to smoke that bad?”
He looks at the corner of the house. Sounds of them wrestling in the front yard drift toward us. “Nah, but there’s another party they want to go to.” He pauses. “I made them come here first.”
I drift closer to him. “I’m glad you did.”
He clears his throat and his voice is suddenly hoarse. “Me too.” He takes another step closer and I’m in his arms, my face buried against his chest.
This feels so right. Why have we waited so long?
Oh right. Because he’s ignored me since I’ve been here.
As much as I hate to, I pull away.
“See you tomorrow?”
Did I miss him asking me out? “Uhh...”
“You’re going to Eldora, right?”
“Oh, right. Yeah.” I’m supposed to be riding with the Bunnies, but I’m guessing that’s not happening.
His mouth opens as if he’s going to say something, but then he closes it.
“I usually meet up with Amber at the terrain park after a couple runs.”
“Cool. Maybe I’ll see you there.” Not exactly the profession of love I was hoping for, but it’s better than where we were twelve hours ago. He pulls me against his chest and holds me for a moment before brushing his lips against my cheek. “Bye, Cally.”
I’m still standing in the dark long after he’s gone, arms wrapped tightly around myself.
When I go back inside, almost everyone is gone. “How long were we out there?” I mutter to myself. The few kids left in the living room stand when I enter. “Thanks for coming, guys.” Before long the house is empty and I’m still reeling from my conversation with Blake. This is what I wanted but I’d begun to think it was never going to happen.
I bend over to pick up trash off the floor and my bladder screams at me. “I can do this later.” I head to the bathroom but pause in the hallway. The door to Dad’s study is open a crack. “I thought he was in the basement.” I stick my head inside.
He’s not there.
I whip around toward the living room, but nothing has changed from two seconds ago.
Who was in here?
I step inside and look around. Nothing looks different—notebooks balance on one corner of the desk, magazines on the other, and an old hoodie hangs from the back of the chair—but I never pay enough attention to notice if anything’s out of place. His leather-bound notebook with all his beer recipes is the only thing that’s always with him and—
My stomach drops to the floor.
It’s not on his desk.
I scan the bookshelves, the floor, the stack of boxes in the corner, but it’s not there. Sweat beads on my upper lip. It’s got to be here. But it’s not.
Maybe he brought it downstairs.
I close the door firmly behind me and gallop down the basement stairs.
Dad’s stretched out on the beat-up leather sofa watching a movie. “Miss me already?”
I take a deep breath. “Do you have your notebook?”
He twists into a sitting position and rests his feet on the floor, face serious. “No.”
My skin goes clammy. “Are you sure?”
“What’s going on?”
“The door to your office was open a crack and when I went to say hi you weren’t there and I didn’t see your notebook.”
He stands and rests a hand on my arm. “I’m sure it’s fine. I put it in a drawer before your friends got here.”
I’m halfway up the stairs before I hear him behind me. I race down the hall, fling open the door, and yank open the top drawer. Then the next. Then the drawers on the other side.
No notebook.
Dad moves next to me, his hand hovering over the open drawer. “It was here.” The color drains from his face and his mouth sets in a firm line.
My heart beats erratically. I run my hands through my hair, scanning the room for the hundredth time.
“How well do you know the kids who were here tonight?”
“I’ve been here a month.”
“Who would want to take my notebook? How would they even know what it is?”
My breath catches. “Brianna.”
“Who?”
“Her dad owns Mischief.”
His hands go to his hair, gripping like it’s the only thing keeping him under control. “And you’re friends with her?”
A horrible, sinking feeling makes me sway on my feet.
Social calendar my ass.
My voice is a whisper. “The party was her idea.”